Erotic sexual denial
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Erotic sexual denial, also known as orgasm denial, is a sexual practice in which a heightened state of sexual arousal is maintained for an extended length of time without orgasm, and is commonly practiced in association with BDSM and sexual bondage. Erotic sexual denial can be another name for or variant of orgasm control. Erotic sexual denial is a form of sex play.
One form of erotic sexual denial is the reduction or deprivation of all genital stimulation. To ensure a complete absence of genital stimulation, a chastity device may be used as a physical barrier to genital touch or full erection.
Short-term denial practices
Tease and denial
Tease and denial describes a situation where a person's genitalia are stimulated until he or she is close to the point at which orgasm would normally be inevitable. At that point, direct stimulation of the genitals is reduced or stopped, so as to keep the recipient on the very brink or "edge" of orgasm (as with orgasm control) but without the promise of orgasm at the end.
If orgasm still occurs after removal of stimulation, it typically brings less pleasure than usual, and is considered a "ruined orgasm", as opposed to being a "denied orgasm" (sometimes known as "blue balls"). Alternatively (for men), the release of semen during the emission phase of ejaculation might be prevented by some sort of constriction ("blocked orgasm"). Depending on the relationship, subjects might be repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm several times, but without actual orgasm, causing feelings of intense arousal and psychological need.
Tie and tease
To be able to control an orgasm of a partner in such sex games, physical restraints are commonly used. Situations involving bondage are typically called tie and tease and can be thought of as extended tease and denial games. This practice is often an integral part of erotic denial. It is notable that in discussions between BDSM partners, negotiation usually focuses on the activities which may or may not be agreed to, rather than the emotions generated by said activities (unless at an unacceptable level). Tie and tease activities are physically as well as psychologically intense, because the strong feelings of sexual frustration are escalated by the sensation of helplessness induced by bondage.
The practice of total sexual denial usually includes total avoidance of genital stimulation. This often involves the use of a physical barrier or device such as a chastity belt. Chastity belts or similar locking devices are available for both men and women. Depending on the situation, sexual arousal may still be achieved regardless of physical barriers to genital stimulation. However, this depends on the belt used.
A related practice is that of the deconstructed orgasm, in which stimulation and arousal is conducted at a very slow pace, allowing the 'stimulator' to obtain feedback from the 'stimulatee' (generally spoken, but conceivably obtained by means of body language or measuring certain bodily responses and functions). Depending upon the accuracy of the feedback, the progress towards eventual release can be judged more accurately than would be the case in an unfettered encounter, allowing the possibility of the orgasm to be delivered (whereupon observations and measurements may be continued) or of stimulation to be withdrawn or decreased in the closing stages, leading to a ruined orgasm as described below.
Accidental orgasm denial
This is related to situations where orgasm denial has been pushed to the limits, and actual orgasm is unable to materialize. This according to research accounts for a small percentage of the 70% - 80% of women that don't reach climax during sexual intercourse. The popular tie and tease technique is both seen as a culprit as well as a boon for accidental orgasm denial as the pure nature of the technique eventually allows for orgasm while on the other hand is responsible for most instances of accidental orgasm denial.
Erotic denial as a form of control
Erotic sexual denial, in various forms, is sometimes associated with creating a state of sexual need leading to a more pliable or agreeable outlook by the denied party.
Orgasm denial practices can allow dominant lovers to exercise control and training over highly intimate and psychologically significant aspects of their submissive lovers' lives. This can extend to tolerance of increased stimulation and training both to hold back orgasm, or to orgasm on command. Dominant lovers can use this practice to experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of sexual control and erotic power. Submissive lovers can use this practice to help them experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of erotic submission, sexualised objectification and erotic loss of control.
Orgasm denial as a way of orgasm control is a widely practiced activity within erotic feminization. The top will often deny the submissive (BDSM) sexual release to maintain his heightened state of sexual arousal, as a way to satisfy his desires for erotic humiliation, or as a way to satisfy the dominant's own desires to erotically humiliate.
- Eroto-comatose lucidity – a form of erotic sexual denial
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