The Boston Teens
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The Boston Teens are characters featured in a large number of sketches in the American television show Saturday Night Live.
Denise "Zazu" McDonough (Rachel Dratch) and Pat Sullivan or "Sully" (Jimmy Fallon) are a pair of Lexington, Massachusetts, teenagers in love. The sketches are presented in the format of home video footage filmed by their unseen friend, Tommy. They have a torrid relationship, often arguing and making up in the same sentence. A prime example of this is Denise's tendency to say, "You're retarded," to which Sully replies, "You are" and immediately starts making out with her. The sketches usually end with one of the participants making a Freudian slip and Sully hoping that Tommy caught it on camera.
Denise and Sully are featured in all thirteen sketches. Frankie Hilbert (Horatio Sanz), a long-haired, bespectacled burnout, features in all but the first and latest episodes. In one episode, Justin Timberlake plays Denise's younger brother, Danny, a pyromaniac who provided the family a large sum of money after the Boston Archdiocese paid them off to keep the family from suing a priest who molested him (though, according to Danny, he was "...only minorly diddled."). Donnie Bartalotti, played by Ben Affleck, appeared three times (though there were plans for more appearances). In the final Boston Teens sketch, he gets married to Michael Smith or "Smitty", played by Seth Meyers, as a response to Massachusetts' recent legalization of same-sex marriage.
The characters are very devoted fans of the Boston Red Sox, and use the name of former star shortstop Nomar Garciaparra as a catchphrase, though with a highly affected Boston accent, pronounced as "Nomah!" Garciaparra makes a cameo appearance in one of the sketches.
The characters have their roots in a sketch called "Wicked" (an intensifier in the New England dialect, as in the expression "Wicked awesome!") performed at Chicago's Second City by Rachel Dratch and Tina Fey, playing an early version of the Denise character and her mother (or "mutha").
Episodes in which The Boston Teens appear
- November 13, 1999: host Garth Brooks
- December 11, 1999: host Danny DeVito
- February 19, 2000: host Ben Affleck
- May 13, 2000: host Britney Spears
- October 14, 2000: host Kate Hudson (featuring a cameo by Nomar Garciaparra)
- March 10, 2001: host Conan O'Brien (featuring a cameo by Ben Affleck)
- November 10, 2001: host Gwyneth Paltrow
- March 2, 2002: host Jonny Moseley
- October 5, 2002: host Matt Damon
- April 5, 2003: host Bernie Mac
- October 11, 2003: host Justin Timberlake
- March 13, 2004: host Ben Affleck
- December 17, 2011: host Jimmy Fallon (where it was established that Sully and Denise eventually married each other)
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