The Chaos

For the studio album by The Futureheads, see The Chaos (album).

"The Chaos" is a poem demonstrating the irregularity of English spelling and pronunciation. Written by Dutch writer, traveller and teacher Gerard Nolst Trenité (1870–1946), it includes about 800 examples of irregular spelling. The first version of 146 lines of text appeared in an appendix to the author's 1920 textbook Drop Your Foreign Accent: engelsche uitspraakoefeningen, but "the most complete and authoritative version ever likely to emerge", published by The Spelling Society in 1992–93, has 274 lines.

To demonstrate the flavour of the poem, the opening lines are:

Dearest creature in creation

Studying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

and the closing lines are:

Finally, which rhymes with enough,

Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??

Hiccough has the sound of cup...

My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

These lines are set out as in the author's version, with alternate couplets indented and the problematic words italicised.

External links

• The Classic Concordance of Cacographic Chaos, Introduced by Chris Upward Text of 274-line version of the poem, with introduction, at The Spelling Society website
• Text with IPA transcription of first 15 verses in British and American English, by David Madore
• Audio-visual of shortened version of "The Chaos": Reading in Canadian accent, with scrolling transcript