|This article does not cite any references or sources. (December 2009)|
|Episode no.||Season 5
|Directed by||Tom Cherones|
|Written by||Tom Gammill & Max Pross|
|Original air date||September 30, 1993|
|Season 5 episodes|
|List of Seinfeld episodes|
The Glasses is the 67th episode of the sitcom Seinfeld. It is the third episode of the fifth season, and first aired on September 30, 1993.
George's eyeglasses, he claims, were stolen at the Health Club and he needs a new pair. He goes to see Kramer's optometrist friend Dwayne (Timothy Stack), whom Kramer promises will give George a thirty percent discount because Kramer had helped the optometrist break his addiction to sugar. Elaine is bitten by a dog while with George at the optometrist's, and she becomes afraid of dogs as well as the possibility that she may have rabies; she goes to see a doctor and asks him if she needs a shot, but the doctor mistakes shot with gunshot.
While not wearing his glasses, George thinks he recognizes, from a distance, Jerry's girlfriend Amy (Anna Gunn) kissing Jerry's cousin Jeffrey, who apparently has a "horse face". He tells this to Jerry, who then goes to Amy and tries to get her to confess her infidelity; she indignantly denies it. Jerry doesn't know what to think of George's uncanny ability to see fine details while "squinting"; however after George mistakes an onion for an apple, Jerry wonders whether George was also mistaken about having seen Amy with Jeffrey.
After trying on many pairs of glasses, George finally decides upon a new style and buys them, but is distressed when Kramer later points out that they are women's-style glasses made by Gloria Vanderbilt. Dwayne also refuses George a discounted price. When Kramer finds out about the refused discount, he goes down to the optometrist store and "threatens" him with a candy bar, forcing Dwayne to reinstate the discount and his promise to Kramer in owing him. George then makes a deal with an unsuspecting blind man to trade the man's uncomfortable eyeglass frames with George's, and have the lenses switched. With his vision back, George finally realizes that it was not Amy kissing Jeffrey, but a rather homely mounted policewoman affectionately petting her horse. Meanwhile Kramer, bursting into Jerry's apartment, accidentally jars Jerry's giant new air conditioner loose from the windowsill, and it falls to the sidewalk, serendipitously crushing the same dog which had earlier bitten Elaine at the optometrist's. Uncle Leo gives Jerry and Amy tickets to see Paul Simon live and that Jeffrey apologized; Jerry mistakes Jeffrey's apology for the latter supposedly seeing Amy and blames her until Uncle Leo says Jeffrey apologized for getting different seats. The episode ends as we see George's "stolen" glasses right on top of the lockers in the Health Club.
- In this episode, Elaine calls Kramer a "hipster doofus". Kramer was previously called this in the season 4 episodes "The Handicap Spot" and "The Movie".
- In the scene where Jerry tries to find out if his girlfriend cheated on him, he devises a plan ending in "It's Howdy Doody time." Kramer then replies, "Right this way, Mr. Doody", a line which was made popular by Larry David on the short-lived TV show Fridays, on which Michael Richards starred.
- The theft of writer Tom Gammill's glasses from a gym was the inspiration for George's predicament. Gammill's solution was to wear prescription goggles.