The Staple of News

The Staple of News is an early Caroline era play, a satire by Ben Jonson. The play was first performed in late 1625 by the King's Men at the Blackfriars Theatre, and first published in 1631.

Publication

The Staple of News was entered into the Stationers' Register in Feb. 1626, but was not published till five years later. Like The Devil is an Ass, The Staple of News was intended to be part of the second folio collection of Jonson's works that was being readied for publication in 1630, as a follow-up to the first collection in 1616. The project was abandoned, apparently because Jonson grew dissatisfied with the quality of the printing (done by John Beale). The Staple of News, again like Devil is an Ass, was published separately in 1631 in folio format from the existing typecast, by the bookseller Robert Allot — though it is unclear whether this was ever a commercial publication, or whether Jonson privately distributed copies of the play among friends, acquaintances, and admirers. The play next appeared in print in 1640, in the Volume 2 of the second folio of Jonson's works.

Content

Among the late comedies that some critics have dismissed as Jonson's "dotages," The Staple of News has often been regarded as "the most admirable of Jonson's later works." It has attracted scholarly attention for its satire on the newspaper and news agency business that was a recent and rapidly-evolving innovation in Jonson's era. The first semi-regular news serials in English (then called "corantos"), printed in the Netherlands, had appeared in 1620 in response to the start of the Thirty Years' War; over the next year London publication of English translations of foreign-news pamphlets increased; and in 1622 Nathaniel Butter formed syndicate for supplying and printing news serials in English. In Jonson's play, the News Staple is a parody of these developments. Jonson may have had a political motive for his satire: the new business in news concentrated on war news from Europe, which fed the popular urge for England's involvement on the Protestant side of the conflict. Jonson is thought to have sympathized with King James's strong reluctance to become involved in a European war.

The play, however, is more than a simple and direct satire on the incipient newspaper business, a sort of 1620s anticipation of The Front Page. The News-Staple material comprises only a few scenes in the play as a whole. The main plot, about the Pennyboy family and Lady Pecunia, is a satire on the emerging ethic of capitalism; and the play features a complex threefold satire on abuses of language, in the News Staple, the society of jeerers, and the project for a Canting College. The play also provides an expression of the females-out-of-control theme that is so central and recurrent in Jonson's plays, from the Ladies Collegiate in Epicene (1609) to the three bad servants in The Magnetic Lady (1632).

Sources

As is usual for Jonson, The Staple of News is well-grounded in precedents from Classical literature. As The Case is Altered drew plot materials from two plays by Plautus, so The Staple of News borrows from no less than five plays by Aristophanes. The main plot, about Lady Pecunia and her suitors, derives from Plutus, while the language cabals draw upon The Clouds, Assemblywomen, and Thesmophoriazusae. And when the mad Pennyboy Senior puts his dogs on trial, the debt is to The Wasps. Scholars have also noted borrowings from the dialogue Timon by Lucian , as well as links with earlier English plays, including The Contention Between Liberality and Prodigality (printed 1601) and The London Prodigal (1605).

Jonson also re-used some material from his unproduced 1624 masque Neptune's Triumph for the Return of Albion in the play. The anti-masque in that work contained a dialogue between a poet and a cook, which is one instance in the pattern of Jonsonian ridicule of his partner in creating masques, Inigo Jones. Jonson ridiculed Jones in works spanning two decades, from Bartholomew Fair (1614) to Love's Welcome at Bolsover (1634). This recycling of material from the poet-and-cook dialogue in Neptune's Triumph makes The Staple of News another instance in this pattern of mockery of Jones.

Characters

-Pennyboy Junior. A young prodigal who has just received (false) news that his father has died and looks forward to spending his inheritance.

-Pennyboy Canter. Pennyboy Junior’s wealthy father. He fakes his own death and disguises himself as an impoverished Canter (street singer) in order to observe his son’s behavior.

-Pennyboy Senior. Pennyboy Junior’s uncle (and Pennyboy Canter’s brother). He is a miserly old usurer who attempts to keep Pennyboy Jr.’s inheritance for himself.

-Cymbal. The Master of the Staple of News, an office where spurious news reports are marketed to credulous customers.

-Fitton. A courtier and a member of the Society of Jeerers—a group of disgruntled bankrupts who have raised ‘jeering’ (mockery) to an art form. Fitton works as the emissary to the court in the News Staple.

-Almanac. A doctor and a member of the Society of Jeerers.

-Shunfield. A sea captain and a member of the Society of Jeerers.

-Madrigal. A poet and recent inductee to the Society of Jeerers.

-Picklock. A crafty old lawyer. He tries to orchestrate a drawn-out legal battle between Pennyboy Junior and his father so he can extract exorbitant legal fees as the case drags on.

-Piedmantle. A herald, or expert in coats of arms and genealogical records.

-Register (of the Staple Office).

-Nathaniel. First clerk of the Staple Office.

-Thomas Barber. He starts off as a barber, but Pennyboy Junior gets him a job as second clerk at the Staple Office.

-Pecunia. ‘Infanta of the Mines’. She is Pennyboy Junior’s betrothed, but on a more abstract level, she is also an allegory for money. The miserly old usurer, Pennyboy Senior, keeps her locked up in his house (i.e., he hoards money), and Pennyboy Junior casually instructs her to kiss other men whenever the fancy strikes him (i.e., he spends money wantonly).

-Mortgage. Pecunia’s nurse.

-Statute. Pecunia’s handmaiden.

-Band. Pecunia’s other handmaiden.

-Wax. Pecunia’s chambermaid.

-Broker. Pecunia’s secretary and gentleman-usher.

-Lickfinger. A master-cook. He prepares an expensive dinner party for Pennyboy Junior.

-Fashioner. Pennyboy Junior’s tailor.

-Linener. A dealer in linen goods. He makes shirts and ruffs for Pennyboy Junior.

-Haberdasher. Pennyboy Junior’s hat maker.

-Leatherleg. Pennyboy Junior’s shoemaker.

-Spurrier. A tradesman who provides Pennyboy Junior with spurs.

-Customers at the Staple Office.

-Two dogs. Pennyboy Senior’s dogs. They are put on trial in the fifth act.

-Prologue. The actor who delivers the prologue at the beginning of the play. He is interrupted by the four Gossips.

-Gossip Mirth. One of the four Gossips—as part of a meta-theatrical framing mechanism, the four Gossips sit on the stage and offer commentary during the prologue and the four ‘intermeans’ between acts.

-Gossip Tattle. One of the four Gossips.

-Gossip Expectation. One of the four Gossips.

-Gossip Censure. One of the four Gossips.

Synopsis

[Divisions and lineation correspond to Ben Jonson, The Staple of News, ed. Anthony Parr (Manchester: Manchester University Press, 1999).]

Induction: A seating area at the periphery of the stage
The play begins with the entrance of the actor who speaks the Prologue. He is quickly followed by four matrons looking for a place to sit on stage: Gossip Mirth, Gossip Tattle, Gossip Expectation, and Gossip Censure. (The practice of selling seats on the periphery of the stage in the private theaters of the era is exploited for commentary in a variety of plays, including Beaumont’s The Knight of the Burning Pestle and Jonson’s The Magnetic Lady.) The Gossips chat amongst themselves as the play begins—a practice carried on throughout short aside scenes between acts that Jonson calls ‘Intermeans’ (a structure he would employ again in The Magnetic Lady). As she helps her fellow-Gossips find seats on stage, Gossip Mirth makes a (comically exaggerated) declaration of the group’s social status: “We are persons of quality, I assure you, and women of fashion, and come to see and to be seen” (8-10). The Prologue orders a special bench for the Gossips to sit on. Gossip Tattle tells the Prologue to make sure that the news in the play is fresh, not stale. Gossip Curiosity says she has come to see what people are wearing and to observe the behavior of nobles. Gossip Tattle says that the Poet (Jonson) has “abused himself”(60) by assigning the Prologue to such a young actor. The Prologue says that the actors provide plenty of abuse already by bungling the Poet’s lines. He also notes that the Poet is blackout drunk backstage. Beginning the prologue proper, he says the author hopes the audience will sit still and listen carefully to the play, rather than gossiping.

Act 1, Scene 1: London, outside the Fashioner’s shop
The play proper opens with Pennyboy Jr. half-dressed, waiting outside the Fashioner’s shop, and counting down the minutes until he will officially turn twenty-one. The birthday is important to him because he has just received news that his father has died. Now that he has reached legal adulthood, he is free to spend his inheritance as he pleases. He looks forward to outfitting himself in the latest fashions and curses the Fashioner for making him wait.

Act 1, Scene 2: Inside the Fashioner’s shop
The Fashioner welcomes Pennyboy Jr. into his shop and helps him into his new set of clothes. Thomas Barber (also a barber by profession) enters soon thereafter. Pennyboy Jr. asks Thomas to recount the latest news (before the development of a systemized news industry, barbershops served as centers for the dissemination of news—Jonson’s satire is oriented by nostalgia for this bygone era). Butting into the conversation, the Fashioner reports that a “News Staple,” or office for the retail distribution of news, has opened up in the same building where his shop is located. Pennyboy Jr. tells the Fashioner to be quiet: “I cannot abide a talking tailor. Let Tom (he’s a barber) by his place relate it” (29-30). Picking up on the Fashioner’s story, Tom says the Staple is run by a crafty entrepreneur named Cymbal and employs four ‘emissaries’ who are sent out to collect news from “four cardinal quarters” (59). Emissary Fitton (a courtier) works the Court. Emissary Ambler works St. Paul’s, and Hans Buz (a Dutchman) works the Exchange. The emissary for the fourth ‘cardinal quarter’, Westminster, recently went bankrupt, so the post is open. Pennyboy Jr. tells Thomas (the barber, whom he likes very much) that he would like to do him a favor. Thomas asks Pennyboy Jr. to get him a job as a clerk at the News Staple—a favor that will cost £50. Pennyboy Jr. agrees to get Thomas the job. Reaching for a coin, Pennyboy Jr. discovers that his pockets are damp. He assumes that they are moldy. The Fashioner tells him that the pockets are scented with the finest Spanish perfume. He remarks on the importance of keeping up with the latest fashions, and even goes so far as to suggest a link between clothing and intelligence: “clothes do much upon the wit as weather does on the brain” (190-10). Pennyboy Jr. naively agrees: “he that’s out o’clothes is out o’fashion, / And out of fashion is out of countenance, / And out o’countenance is out o’wit” (126-28). A haberdasher, a linener, and a shoemaker enter and gather around Pennyboy Jr. to help him into his hat, girdle, and ruff. Now fully outfitted, Pennyboy Jr. says he feels “the powers of one and twenty like a tide / Flow in upon me” (135-36). He heads out to the Staple to see about getting Thomas a job.

Act 1, Scene 3: Outside the Fashioner’s shop
As he steps outside of the Fashioner’s shop, Pennyboy Jr. is approached by Pennyboy Canter—his father—who is disguised in the rags of an impoverished canter, or street singer (note that the nomenclature in this play is somewhat misleading: Pennyboy Canter is Pennyboy Jr.’s father; Pennyboy Sr. is Pennyboy Jr.’s uncle). Pennyboy Canter has faked his own death and assumed a disguise in order to observe the behavior of his family (a similar plot device occurs in Jonson’s Volpone, Middleton’s Michaelmas Term, and The London Prodigal—a play of questionable authorship). The ‘Canter’ (Pennyboy Canter) greets Pennyboy Jr. in song, playfully warning him that all of the tradesmen he has gathered around him might soon land him in debtor’s prison. Pennyboy Junior tells Thomas that he will love the ‘Canter’ forever because the ‘Canter’, whom he refers to as his ‘Founder’, was the one who brought him news of his father’s death. The tradesmen give Pennyboy Jr. a number of bills, which he carelessly stuffs into his pockets without even looking at them. The ‘Canter’ warns him that he had better pay his bills immediately or his debts will pile up. He gives Pennyboy Jr. a bag of money (supposedly from Pennyboy Jr.’s lawyer) in order to pay the tradesmen off. The tradesmen all exit as soon as they are paid. Pennyboy Jr. offers the ‘Canter’ some money. The ‘Canter’ refuses.

Act 1, Scene 4: The Staple Office
A countrywoman comes to the News Staple to buy “a groatsworth of any news—I care not what” (11). The Register calls her a “butterwoman” (13) and refers her to Nathaniel, a clerk (whose name, coupled with the reference to butter, alludes to the publisher and bookseller Nathaniel Butter, who in 1622 issued the first regular newsbooks). Nathaniel tells the countrywoman that she must wait until the emissary from St. Paul’s returns. The countrywoman exits to wait. Nathaniel tells the Register that they must keep customers waiting in order to make their product seem genuine.

Act 1, Scene 5: The Staple Office
The Master of the Staple, Cymbal, gives Pennyboy Jr. a tour of the premises. He begins by explaining his filing system, which is organized into categories such as ‘news of doubtful credit’, ‘news of the season’, ‘news of the faction’, etc. He says that he has improved on previous systems of disseminating news by affixing his news with an Office seal to guarantee quality (a purely cosmetic gesture—the news itself is dubious and insubstantial). Applauding Cymbal’s enterprise, Pennyboy Jr. asks to hear the latest news. Nathaniel brings out the day’s news roll, which begins with a story about Pennyboy Jr. himself, the death of his father, and his inheritance. Pennyboy Jr. is delighted that he has made it into the news. He asks Cymbal how he heard about the story. Cymbal tells him that he got the story from Pennyboy Jr.’s lawyer, Picklock, who recently took up the position of emissary to Westminster. Pennyboy Jr. asks about purchasing a clerk’s position. After introducing Thomas, he pays Cymbal £50 to take him on. Cymbal exits to attend to some business with the emissaries.

Act 1, Scene 6: The Staple Office
Pennyboy Jr.’s lawyer, Picklock, enters and compliments Pennyboy Jr. on his fine new clothes. Pennyboy Jr. congratulates Picklock on his new job at the Staple. Piclock says that he took the job in order to work against Cymbal on Pennyboy Jr.’s behalf—Cymbal is a rival suitor for Mistress Pecunia Do-all, the woman Pennyboy Jr.’s father had intended Pennyboy Jr. to marry. She currently lives under the care of Pennyboy Jr.’s miserly old uncle, Pennyboy Sr. (Pecunia is an allegory for money. Her name means something along the lines of ‘money can do anything’—a slogan that epitomizes the sort of attitude targeted in Jonson’s social critique). Picklock tells Pennyboy Jr. that Pecunia is served by a nurse (Mortgage), two ladies in waiting (Statute and Band), a chambermaid (Wax), and two grooms (Pawn and Fellow—these characters do not appear in the play). He also notes that Pecunia and her entourage will likely visit the Staple soon because they love to see strange new things. The ‘Canter’ and Picklock both encourage Pennyboy Jr. to make Pecunia his top priority. Picklock warns him that he must act fast because Pecunia has four other suitors: a sea captain (Shunfield), a poet (Madrigal), a doctor (Almanac), and a courtier (Fitton—also an emissary at the Staple). These rival suitors are all members of the Society of Jeerers, a group of disgruntled bankrupts who devote themselves to jeering (or insulting) others, a practice they have raised to a pretended art form. The leader of Jeerers is Cymbal, the Master of the Staple. The scene ends with Picklock and the ‘Canter’ encouraging Pennyboy Jr. to pursue Pecunia with all of his power (Picklock wants to trick Pennyboy Jr. out of his money; the Canter—Pennyboy Jr.’s father—wants to push him toward the humiliation that will motivate repentance and renewal).

The First Intermean: A seating area at the periphery of the stage
Gossip Mirth asks her fellow Gossips how they like the play so far. They don’t think much of it. Gossip Expectation complains that there isn’t anything to the plot and offers a curt summary of the action thus far: “Here’s nothing but a young prodigal come of age, who makes much of the barber, buys him a place in a new Office, i’the air, I know not where; and his man o’law to follow him, with the beggar to boot, and they two help him to a wife” (3-7). Gossip Tattle says that she would like the ‘beggar’ (Pennyboy Canter, who is disguised in rags) better if he were wearing better clothes. She also complains that the play has neither a devil or a fool—a sign of her unsophisticated preference for an older style of drama. Her complaint leads the Gossips into a discussion of plays that have devils in them, such as Jonson’s The Devil is an Ass.

Act 2, Scene 1: Pennyboy Senior’s home
The old miser and usurer, Pennyboy Sr. (Pennyboy Jr.’s uncle) attempts to woo Pecunia, whom he keeps carefully guarded at his home, refusing to ever let her go out (i.e., he hoards money). Bowing before her, he says that he has starved himself and gone in rags, refusing to spend a penny, all for her (signifying his worship of money). Pecunia says that his servility and miserliness will cast a poor light on the reputation of men who serve her. One of Pecunia’s ladies in waiting, Band, asks Pecunia if she would like to retire to her room, worrying that she has been out too long. Pecunia says that she feels fine and could stay out much longer. The nurse, Mortgage, says that it is good for Pecunia to be out for a bit, but if she stays out too long, she will get sick (the allegorical implication here is that money should be spent in moderation—not hoarded or wasted indiscriminately). Band says that Pecunia’s suitors will visit shortly. Statute (the other lady in waiting) says Pecunia should have her secretary (Broker) interview the suitors rather than cheapening herself by granting them an audience. Pecunia instructs Broker to wait for the suitors and exits.

Act 2, Scene 2: Pennyboy Senior’s home
The suitor Piedmantle (a herald, or expert in coats of arms and genealogical records) enters to woo Pecunia. He says that he has traced Pecunia’s family tree all the way back to man’s creation. Broker calls Piedmantle a novice and says that Pecunia’s history goes far beyond the creation of mankind (referencing a common notion regarding the age of precious metals). Pennyboy Sr. enters and observes the conversation unnoticed. Piedmantle asks Broker how he might go about getting an interview with Pecunia herself. Broker tells him that he will have to apply to one of Pecunia’s gentlewomen. Piedmantle says he will try to catch Pecunia while she is out getting some air and exits. Pennyboy Senior comes forward and commends Broker for his curt treatment of Piedmantle. He asks where his cook, Lickfinger, is, complaining that he is late again.

Act 2, Scene 3: Pennyboy Senior’s home
The cook, Lickfinger, enters. Pennyboy Sr. curses him for being late. Lickfinger (who is notably overweight) is sweating profusely. He says that he came as fast as he could. Pennyboy Sr. says that he has just received a large delivery of meat and orders Lickfinger to take an inventory of it. With Lickfinger subtly prodding him on, he then enters into a (characteristic) rant, first complaining that he has received too much meat, then moving to a complaint about gluttony in general, and concluding with a complaint about the reduction in the interest rate (which is bad for the usury business). Lickfinger tells Pennyboy Sr. to be careful what he says about the authorities or he might end up in prison. Pennyboy Sr. warns Lickfinger not to get cheeky. He says that he plans to keep a strict account of all of the food in the house, and if Lickfinger makes any more than what is required of him, or if anything should go missing, he will be charged for it. In contrast to this show of thrift, however, he also orders the cook to treat the dogs to an extravagant feast: “fat flaps of mutton, kidneys, rumps of veal” (77)—with the scraps to go to the maids. The conversation between Pennyboy Sr. and Lickfinger is interrupted by the arrival of four jeerers: Fitton (the courtier), Almanac (the doctor), Shunfield (the sea captain), and Madrigal (the poet). Pennyboy Sr. recognizes Fitton, Almanac, and Shunfield, whom he refers to as “mocking, flouting jacks” (85), but he does not recognize the young poet Madrigal, whom he refers to as a “plover” (83), or dupe.

Act 2, Scene 4: Pennyboy Senior’s home
The jeerers ask Pennyboy Sr. if they can see Pecunia (i.e., they want to borrow money). Pennyboy Sr. says that the jeerers stink and refuses their request. In an attempt to get into his better graces, they introduce Madrigal, a fresh young heir. The secretary, Broker, whisks Madrigal away. When they realize that the young poet has suddenly disappeared, they begin to barrage Pennyboy Sr. with insults, for example:

Shunfield. How the rogue stinks, worse than a fishmonger’s sleeves

Fitton. Or a currier’s hands!

Shunfield. And such a parboiled visage!

Fitton. His face looks like a dyer’s apron, just!

Almanac. A sodden head, and his whole brain a posset curd! (49-54)

Despite this abuse, Pennyboy Sr. stubbornly refuses to allow the jeerers to see Pecunia (i.e., he will not lend them any money). He exits. Madrigal re-enters with Broker and tells the jeerers that he has been upstairs reading verses to Pecunia’s ladies in waiting. Broker tells him that the ladies, who have no ear for poetry, were totally bored by his verses. He encourages the young heir to “make an epitaph on [his] land” (143) instead (i.e., mortgage his lands to Pennyboy Sr.). The jeerers heartily endorse this suggestion. They tell Madrigal that his land is nothing but mere dirt, not worth holding on to. Madrigal agrees to begin work on the ‘epitaph’ right away. Pennyboy Sr. re-enters. Displeased to see that the jeerers are still hanging around, he threatens to smoke them out if they will not leave of their own accord. The jeerers answer him with mockery and scorn. Almanac says that Pennyboy Sr. never cleans his house on purpose so he can sell the cobwebs as bandages and the spiders as snacks for old ladies’ monkeys. Pennyboy Sr. says that he can remember a time when the jeerers all had lands and friends, but those days are now long gone thanks to their improvident spending. The jeerers curse him and exit. Pennyboy Sr. tells Broker to make sure that Pecunia is ready to meet (his nephew) Pennyboy Jr., who will arrive shortly. He also says that his brother (Pennyboy Canter) wanted Pennyboy Jr. to marry Pecunia, but he intends to marry her himself (i.e., he intends to cheat Pennyboy Jr. out of his inheritance).

Act 2, Scene 5: Pennyboy Senior’s home
Pennyboy Jr. enters with Pennyboy Canter (his supposedly dead father, still disguised as a Canter) and the lawyer, Picklock. Pennyboy Sr. insults the ‘Canter’, who teases him about his miserliness. Pennyboy gets angry and prepares to leave, but Pennyboy Sr. stops him. Pecunia enters, accompanied by her gentlewomen. Pennyboy falls in love with Pecunia on the spot and insists on taking her away with him immediately. Pennyboy Sr. is quite happy to let his nephew ‘borrow’ Pecunia on the condition that he “return / Statute and Band home, with my sweet soft Wax, / And my good nurse here, Mortgage” (95-97) (i.e., Pennyboy Jr. cannot take any money without entering into a loan agreement and paying Pennyboy Sr. interest). Pennyboy Jr. readily accepts Pennyboy Sr.’s terms and makes plans to take Pecunia to a tavern in Ram Alley (a notoriously unsavory locale). The ‘Canter’ encourages him to take her to a nicer place instead: the Apollo Room in the Devil Tavern, Fleet Street (this reference may constitute an incident of early modern product placement: Jonson regularly drank at the Apollo with his friends and followers). Picklock says that a princess is too good to go to a tavern. The ‘Canter’ reminds him that Pocahontas stayed in two taverns while she was in London. Pennyboy Jr. decides to have the party in the Apollo Room (the cook, Lickfinger, will supply the meal). Picklock asks Pennyboy Jr. to take Pecunia to visit the News Staple before they dine. Pennyboy Jr. agrees.

The Second Intermean: A seating area at the periphery of the stage
Gossip Censure says that the play is too dull and complains once again about the lack of a devil or a fool. Gossip Mirth asks how the Gossips like the Vice characters (the prodigal Pennyboy Jr. and the miserly Pennyboy Sr.)—another reference to an older, outdated style of drama. Gossip Tattle says that a proper Vice should have a wooden dagger to snap at everyone he meets. Gossip Censure says she does not approve of the character Pecunia, whom she mistakenly interprets as a parody of Isabella Clara Eugenia, daughter of Phillip II of Spain. Mistress Tattle says that the play has also disparaged Pocahontas by claiming that she stayed in a tavern. Gossip Expectation says she is looking forward to seeing the Staple Office in action and looks forward to some “fresh and sweet butter” (54) (another reference to Nathaniel Butter).

A Note to the readers (only in printed versions)
Act Three begins, oddly enough, with a note that asks readers to approach the material that follows in a judicious frame of mind. Noting that the play has been subject to wild misinterpretation, the author says that his satire targets published serials, a “weekly cheat to draw money” (9), “made all at home, and no syllable of truth in them” (13). In a rather rare example of authorial candor, he spells out the meaning of his allegory in unmistakable terms: “And so apprehending it, you shall do the author and your own judgment a courtesy, and perceive the trick of alluring money [i.e., Pecunia] to the Office and there cozening the people” (15-18).

Act 3, Scene 1: The Staple Office
Fitton (the courtier, jeerer, and Staple emissary) tells Cymbal (the Staple Master) that he must be crafty if he wants to win Pecunia from Pennyboy Jr. He also says that Cymbal should not trust the lawyer, Picklock (who has recently taken on a job as an emissary at the Staple). Picklock enters and tells Cymbal that Pennyboy Jr. will bring Pecunia to the Staple shortly. He says that this is Cymbal’s big chance to lure Pecunia away from Pennyboy Jr. Fitton thanks Picklock for the information and embraces him. Nathaniel (head clerk at the Staple), Thomas (the new clerk and former barber), and the Register enter. Cymbal tells them to sit at their desks and spread the news rolls out. He says that the clerks will have to act in the place of the emissaries (Ambler and Buz), who are out at the moment. Fitton puts on the ‘Office cloak’ and Cymbal puts on the ‘Office gown’—apparel intended to make them look more authoritative.

Act 3, Scene 2: The Staple Office
Pennyboy Jr. enters with Pennyboy Canter (his father, still disguised as a Canter), and Pecunia, who is accompanied by her gentlewomen (Statute, Band, Mortgage, and Wax), and her gentleman usher, Broker. After greeting Cymbal and Thomas, Pennyboy Jr. orders copious amounts of spurious news, doing his best to impress Pecunia. The clerks deliver a series of absurd news stories—most have satiric undertones, others are just silly. Thomas begins with a report that the King of Spain has been appointed Pope and Emperor (an attack on the tendency of contemporary pamphleteers to conflate Spain and Rome, imagining them as a monolithic Catholic enemy). On a similar note, he also reports that Spinola (a famous Spanish General) has been made General of the Jesuits, replacing Vitelleschi (former General of the Jesuits), who is now a cook. These reports are followed by news from Fitton that Galileo has invented a magnifying glass that can focus the moon’s rays and burn enemy ships from a distance. He also reports that Cornelius Drebbel (inventor of the first submarine) has invented an invisible eel that can swim under the Spanish ships at Dunkirk (then a part of Holland) and destroy them. Pennyboy Jr. asks why Thomas didn’t get to report the story from Holland. Cymbal explains that Thomas only works on ‘Pontifical’ news (stories from Catholic countries, such as Spain or Rome—Holland was staunchly Protestant). Pennyboy Jr. pays Cymbal so that Thomas can “keep his own side” (68) (i.e., report Protestant stories). At Cymbal’s command, Thomas exchanges desks with Fitton (an indication that the Staple’s pretense of balance is purely cosmetic). Now reporting ‘from the other side’, Thomas repeats the story about the invisible eel at Dunkirk. Taking up the ‘Pontifical’ angle, Fitton says that the invisible eel will prove ineffective because Spinola has organized an army that floats above water on cork carriages and is pulled by horses with cork shoes. As if these stories were perfectly ordinary, Pennyboy Jr. asks for “some curious news” (94) next—news of “magic or alchemy” (95). In response to this request, Nathaniel reports that “The art of drawing farts out of dead bodies / Is by the Brotherhood of the Rosy Cross / Produced unto perfection” (98-99). Thomas follows with a story about an alewife who has discovered a perpetual motion machine at an alehouse called the Dancing Bears in St Catherine (another reference to Drebbel, who presented a plan for a perpetual motion machine to King James, and was known to frequent the Dancing Bears). Pennyboy Jr. asks to have all of his news printed and stamped with the Office seal. The Register invites him to retire in a waiting room while his news is prepared, but Pennyboy Jr. says he would prefer to stay and watch the Staple Office in action. Three customers enter. The first customer, Dopper, a “she-Anabaptist” (123) (her name refers to the Anabaptist practice of baptizing adults), orders “six pennyworth” (125) of news. Thomas reads her a story about the Anabaptists living in exile in Holland. he says they are expecting the arrival of a prophet who will be able to predict the future by using a numerological system based on the measurements of Solomon’s Temple. Intrigued, Dopper asks for more Anabaptist news. The Register tells her she will have to pay more money. Dopper pays, and Thomas reads her a story about Mustafa II, the Sultan of Turkey. According to his report, the Sultan has cut his ties with the Pope, converted to Christianity, and made plans to visit the Anabaptist church in Amsterdam that summer. The Second Customer asks if there is any news from Asia. Nathaniel says that there isn’t. Instead, he tells her a story about a troop of cooks that has been sent to North America to convert the cannibals and to make them “good, eating Christians” (158). The leader of the troop, coincidently enough, is the cook, Lickfinger, who enters at this point to purchase some news to entertain the guests at Pennyboy Jr.’s dinner party that afternoon. Lickfinger says that his dishes will “make our Cannibal-Christians / Forebear the mutual eating one another” (176-77). After telling Pennyboy Jr. that the dinner is prepared, he asks for a bit of court news. Thomas reports on a new Royal proclamation against the wearing of long hair. He says that the proclamation was instigated by the King’s barber in order to preserve the barbering trade, which is in decline. Lickfinger asks if there is any news from the theater. Thomas reports that the Archbishop of Spalato has left a legacy to the King’s Men (the King’s Men’s enormously popular production of Middleton’s A Game at Chess personated a number of contemporary figures, including Marco Antonio de Dominis, the Archbishop of Spalato). Lickfinger notes that the actor who played Spalato in A Game at Chess is dead (the role was played by William Rowley, who died in February 1626). Thomas says that, in that case, the actor will not get his share of the legacy. Lickfinger asks for news of Gondomar (the former Spanish ambassador, another contemporary figure personated in A Game at Chess). Thomas reports that Gondomar has given himself a second fistula after using “the poor English play that was writ of him” (209) (i.e., A Game at Chess) to wipe his “posteriors” (211) (Gondomar famously suffered from an anal fistula, an object of considerable mockery in A Game at Chess. Jonson’s attack on the play suggests professional envy over Middleton’s extraordinary success). Pennyboy pays an exorbitant sum for all news he has heard and says that his princess, Pecunia, must have the very best of everything. Cymbal takes Pecunia aside and begins to woo her (representing his attempt to take Pennyboy Jr.’s money). He tells her that, if she came to stay at the Staple, he would get rid of her gentlewomen (whom he says are her keepers rather than true servants), and replace them with servants who would attend to her in an extravagant style that would “dazzle the vulgar eyes / And strike the people blind with admiration” (239-40) (i.e., he would spend money freely to impress others). In an aside, Pennyboy Canter (still disguised as a Canter) rails against showoffs like Cymbal, who acquire wealth for the vain pleasure of making a spectacle of themselves. Meanwhile, Fitton begs Pecunia’s gentlewomen to persuade Pecunia to move to the Staple. The gentlewomen jeer Fitton mercilessly, mocking his “dumb rhetoric and silent eloquence” (271). Speaking aside to Picklock, Broker says that he might be able to convince the gentlewomen to allow Pecunia to visit the Staple on occasion. Lickfinger asks for one more news story before they leave for the dinner party at the tavern. Thomas reads him a story claiming that Gabriel Bethlen, the Prince of Transylvania, has devised a drum that can be heard throughout all Christendom. He has also devised a means for carrying his army in the sky. As a few more customers enter the Staple, Lickfinger asks if there is any more news about the Duke of Bavaria. Nathaniel reports that the Duke has “taken a grey habit and is turned / The Church’s miller, grinds the Catholic grist / with every wind” (295-96) (Maximilian, the Elector of Bavaria, was the founder of the Catholic League and drove Frederick V, Elector Palatine out of Bohemia in 1620). Customer #4 asks for news of coronation pageants to be held in the counties (because of the plague, the coronation of Charles I went by with very little pageantry). Before the clerks have a chance to reply, Customer #5 asks for some “forest news” (307). Thomas tells him that a new park is being constructed to separate cuckolds with antlers from lower quality cuckolds who have lost their antlers because their wives are dead (cuckolded husbands were colloquially referred to as ‘wearing horns’, or in this case, antlers). All of the customers say they would like to purchase this news item. Pennyboy Jr. invites Cymbal and Thomas to the dinner party. Cymbal says that he must decline because he cannot leave the Office. Everyone exits except Thomas and Nathaniel (the clerks).

Act 3, Scene 3: The Staple Office
The jeerers Shunfield, Almanac, and Madrigal enter the Staple Office. Looking to score a free meal, they ask the clerks if there are any dinner parties being held in town that afternoon. Nathaniel and Thomas tell them about Pennyboy Jr.’s party in the Apollo Room. The jeerers are particularly excited to hear that the party will be catered by Lickfinger, whose skills they praise as at length. Shunfield tells the clerks that they should provide news about current dinner parties on a daily basis in order to make it easier for interlopers to get free meals. As they prepare to close the Office, Thomas tells Nathaniel that he hopes to become an emissary some day. Nathaniel says that he hopes to become Master of the Staple. They exit.

Act 3, Scene 4: Pennyboy Senior’s home
Broker returns to the home of Pennyboy Sr. (Pennyboy Jr.’s miserly old uncle). Pennyboy Sr. demands to know where Pecunia is. Broker tells him that she has gone to the Apollo Room for the dinner party. He also says that the Master of the Staple, Cymbal, is at the door and would like to have a word with him. Pennyboy Sr. tells him to show Cymbal in. Broker exits for a moment and returns with Cymbal. Pennyboy Sr. tells Cymbal that he cannot rise to greet him because he is not feeling well. He also says that it is painful for him to speak. Cymbal offers him half of the profits from the Staple if he will allow Pecunia to spend part of her time at the Office (i.e., he asks for a loan). Suddenly appearing to feel much better, Pennyboy Sr. asks Cymbal about the nature of his business. He says that he prefers certain, straightforward ventures, such as usury. This thought leads him to complain (once again) about the lowered rate of interest. Getting even more excited, he launches into a rant about the profligacy of the present age, which he compares to simpler times when men exercised greater thrift. Cymbal tries to calm him down, but Pennyboy Sr. only gets angrier and eventually kicks Cymbal out of his home.

The Third Intermean: A seating area at the periphery of the stage
The Gossips applaud Pennyboy Sr.’s tough treatment of Cymbal, but theyare generally unimpressed by the play’s stale, overly exotic style of news. Gossip Mirth says that the local, more pedestrian news from Gossip Tattle is much better (an indication of her preference for the older, non-commodified mechanisms for transmitting information). In a comment likely directed to the ‘Office Seal’ affixed to news from the Staple, Mistress Tattle says that she isn’t sure if any of her news stories are true, but “whether it were or no, we gossips are bound to believe it an’t be once out and afoot. How should we entertain the time else, or find ourselves in fashionable discourse for all companies, if we do not credit all and make more of it in the reporting?” (37-41). Gossip Censure says that she believes all of Tattle’s stories. She also says she is particularly wise because she never had a “cunning” (44) teacher, such as a conjuror or a poet—the type of teacher that makes students perform in plays.

Act 4, Scene 1: The Apollo Room in the Devil Tavern, Fleet Street
Pennyboy Jr. has just finished dining with Pennyboy Canter (his father, still disguised as a Canter), Picklock (his lawyers), and the jeerers (Fitton, Shunfield, Almanac, and Madrigal). Fitton (the courtier-jeerer) suggests that they play a jeering game as they relax after the meal. Pennyboy Jr. asks how the game works. The jeerers demonstrate by taking turns jeering the lawyer, Picklock, with the novice jeerer, Madrigal (the poet) feebly trying to play along. Pennyboy Jr. is impressed, but the ‘Canter’ is disgusted. He compares the jeerers to “lepers showing one another their scabs / or flies feeding on ulcers” (35-36). Taking offense, the jeerers begin to jeer at the ‘Canter’, whom they call “a fellow / That speaks no language […] But what jingling gypsies / And peddlers trade in […] And no honest Christian can understand” (50-54). The ‘Canter’ replies that, if a ‘canter’ is defined as someone who uses language that average people cannot understand, then the jeerers, by their professions, are canters as well. He offers to prove this proposition, but he is interrupted by the entrance of Pecunia.

Act 4, Scene 2: The Apollo Room in the Devil Tavern, Fleet Street
Pecunia enters with her gentlewomen: Statute, Band, Wax, and Mortgage. The cook, Lickfinger, enters as well. While Pennyboy Jr. courts Pecunia, Lickfinger and Madrigal (the poet-jeerer) argue whether the proper occasion for cultured discourse is during a meal or over drinks after a meal (this argument refers to rival classical notions of educated conviviality: Atheneus argued for discussion during the meal and afterward, but Plato and Xenophon held that the proper place for discussion was after a meal, with a drink in one’s hand). Arguing for discussion during the meal, Lickfinger easily wins the debate with an impassioned speech on the art of cooking. Meanwhile, Pennyboy Jr. praises Pecunia in overblown courtly rhetoric, comparing her to the sun: “Pecunia shines / More in the world than he [the sun], and makes it spring / Where’er she favours. Please her but to show / Her melting wrists or bare her ivory hands, / She catches still! Her smiles, they are love’s fetters! / Her breasts his apples! Her teats strawberries!” (49-54). The jeerers offer similar praise in an ‘econium on Pecunia’, which is followed by the recitation of lyrics to an (even worse) ode to Pecunia, written by the poet, Madrigal. A fiddler enters with a Boy Singer. Pennyboy Jr. orders Pecunia to kiss the fiddler, the singer, and all of the jeerers (signifying wanton spending). The ‘Canter’ (Pennyboy Jr.’s father in disguise) continues to rail against the extravagant wastefulness of the party. After the boy sings Madrigal’s song, he delivers a short speech against the partiers’ worship of Pecunia (i.e., their money-worship): “Look, look how all their, eyes / Dance i’their heads—observe!—scattered with lust / At sight o’their brave idol” (134-36). The jeerers try to convince Pecunia to “keep house” (164) with Pennyboy Jr., arguing that he will give her liberty to scatter herself amongst them (i.e., Pennyboy Jr. will spend money freely, rather than hoarding it like his uncle). Pennyboy Jr. commends Madrigal on his song and says that he will hire the poet to write verses for Pecunia.

Act 4, Scene 3: The Apollo Room in the Devil Tavern, Fleet Street
Pennyboy Sr. bursts into the Apollo Room, angrily declaring that Broker has betrayed him. Lickfinger (the cook) tells Pennyboy Sr. that Broker is passed out drunk and offers him a cup of sack. Pennyboy Sr. slaps the cup out of Lickfinger’s hand and begs Pecunia to leave “This strange, lewd company” (16). Pecunia refuses. She says she likes Pennyboy Jr.’s company and complains that Pennyboy Sr. treats her like a prisoner (i.e., Pennyboy Sr. hoards his money). Pecunia’s gentlewomen agree that Pennyboy Sr.’s home is like a prison. Pennyboy Sr. curses the gentlewomen: “Why, you whores, / My bawds, my instruments, what should I call you / Man may think base enough for you?” (57-59). With the jeerers’ help, Pennyboy Jr. kicks Pennyboy Sr. out of the tavern. Pennyboy Sr. calls Pecunia a whore and exits.

Act 4, Scene 4: The Apollo Room in the Devil Tavern, Fleet Street
Piedmantle (the herald) enters with a fresh pedigree (genealogical record) for Pecunia. The ‘Canter’ (Pennyboy Jr.’s father in disguise) says that Piedmantle is nothing but a canter (someone who uses specialized jargon to impress and deceive). Pennyboy Jr. reminds the ‘Canter’ of his earlier promise to prove that the jeerers are all canters. The ‘Canter’ says that Piedmantle will prove himself to be a canter momentarily. Piedmantle proceeds to present his pedigree for Pecunia. Just as the ‘Canter’ predicted, his presentation is peppered with exotic, obtuse language, for example: “She bears (an’t please you) argent, three leeks vert / In canton or, and tasseled of the first” (25-26). The ‘Canter’ asks Pennyboy Jr. if he understands anything Piedmantle has said. Pennyboy Jr. admits that he hasn’t understood a single word, but he says that he is willing to pay for it because it sounds good. He orders Pecunia to kiss Piedmantle (signifying payment). The ‘Canter’ proceeds to ‘prove’ that the jeerers are canters as well. He begins with Almanac, the doctor: “When he discourseth of dissection / Or any point of anatomy, that he tells you / Of vena cava and vena porta, / The meseraics and the mesenterium, / What does he else but cant?” (38-42). He continues in the same vein with a speech that mocks the professional jargon of the sea captain (Shunfield), the poet (Madrigal), and the courtier (Fitton). Impressed by the ‘Canter’s’ speech (but totally missing the moral point), Pennyboy Jr. proposes a plan to found a Canting College, which will teach all the insider vocabularies that specialists use to victimize the public. He excitedly makes plans to hire each of the jeerers and Picklock (the lawyer) to be professors in the Canting College (Lickfinger will be the cook). Disgusted by his son’s plans. Pennyboy Canter throws off his ‘Canter’ disguise and reveals his true identity. After angrily denouncing his son and each of the jeerers in turn, he takes Pecunia and exits.

The Fourth Intermean: A seating area at the periphery of the stage
Gossip Tattle says that the Fourth Act was the worst of all. Gossip Expectation says that the playwright is absurd for making the father (Pennyboy Canter) alive again after everyone thought he was dead. All of the Gossips agree that Pennyboy Jr. was a fine gentleman. They also applaud his plans to hire the jeerers as professors at a Canting College. Gossip Censure says that she particularly liked Fitton (the courtier-jeerer). Gossip Mirth asks the Gossips what they would do if they had the power to change the story. Mistress Tattle says that she would like to see Picklock, the lawyer, cheat Pennyboy Canter out of everything he has. The other Gossips suggest various other ways that they would like to see Pennyboy Sr. cheated or tortured by the jeerers, for example (from Gossip Expectation): “let Master Doctor dissect him, have him opened, and his tripes translated to Lickfinger to make a probation dish of” (58-60).

Act 5, Scene 1: Pennyboy Junior’s home (the next day)
Pennyboy Jr. enters wearing his father’s discarded ‘Canter’ rags. In a repentant speech, he calls himself the “Dauphin of Beggars” and the “Prince of Prodigals” (10). Overwhelmed by remorse, he throws himself on the ground, wallowing in misery. Thomas (the Staple clerk and former barber) enters and tells Pennyboy Jr. that the Staple has been dissolved—all of the emissaries and clerks quit when they heard that Pecunia would not come to stay with them. Thomas also tells Pennyboy Jr. that his father (Pennyboy Canter) is in the middle of a legal battle with Picklock, the lawyer: when Pennyboy Canter faked his own death, he left his entire estate in trust with Picklock, with the understanding that it would eventually be transferred to Pennyboy Jr. Now that the death-ruse is over, however, Pennyboy Canter wants to change the terms of the trust in order to disinherit his son. Picklock will not go along with Pennyboy Canter’s wishes. He denies that a trust ever existed in the first place and refuses to return the deed. Picklock enters. Pennyboy Jr. tells Thomas to hide and reassumes his attitude of despair on the floor. Picklock says that he is surprised to see Pennyboy Jr. in rags. Pennyboy Jr. says that his present state is a result of Picklock and Pennyboy Canter’s plot. Proclaiming innocence, Picklock admits that there was indeed a trust between himself and Pennyboy Canter, but he could not bring himself to return the estate because it hurts him to see a son cruelly defrauded by his own father. He offers to help Pennyboy Jr. sue Pennyboy Canter in order to avoid being disinherited. Coyly pretending to go along with Picklock’s scheme, Pennyboy Jr. casually asks if the lawyer has the deed to the Pennyboy estate with him. Picklock says that he doesn’t have the deed on his person at the moment (he keeps it locked up at his house because it is too valuable carry around) but he has sent a porter with a key to his home to tell the cook, Lickfinger, to unlock the deed and bring it at once so Pennyboy Jr. can see it. Pennyboy Jr. says he is glad that Picklock came along when he did because he was just about to send his father a penitent letter. He exits under the pretense of getting the letter (note: Pennyboy Jr. presumably uses this exit to make plans with his porter to intercept the deed from Lickfinger—see 5.3). Thinking he is alone (remember that Thomas is still hiding off to the side), Picklock congratulates himself on a crafty scheme. He explains that, by instigating a drawn-out legal battle, he will be able to force Pennyboy to go into debt to pay his legal fees, so once the case is won, a good portion of the estate will be his. Pennyboy Jr. returns and says he could not find the letter. Picklock says that the legal battle will be long and expensive, so Pennyboy will have to be willing to go deep into debt in order to see it through. Pennyboy Jr. says he will go along with whatever Picklock tells him to do.

Act 5, Scene 2: Pennyboy Junior’s home
Pennyboy Canter (Pennyboy Jr.’s father) enters and accuses Pennyboy Jr. of conspiring with Picklock, his enemy. Pennyboy Jr. denies the accusation. Pennyboy Canter asks Picklock if he will honour their trust and return the deed. Picklock denies that there was ever a trust in the first place. In his version of the story (which blatantly contradicts what he told Pennyboy Jr. only minutes ago), Pennyboy Canter wanted to get rid of his ill-gotten wealth, but didn’t want to leave it to his prodigal son (Pennyboy Jr.), so he gave it outright to his trusted friend and lawyer, Picklock. Pennyboy scoffs at this ridiculous story. A porter enters. Pennyboy Jr. speaks aside with him for a moment (note: at this point, the Porter presumably gives Pennyboy Jr. the deed intercepted from Lickfinger—see 5.3). The Porter exits. Pennyboy Jr. accuses Picklock of deceit and says that, contrary to his most recent testimony, the lawyer in fact admitted that he had a trust with Pennyboy Canter only minutes ago. To prove his accusations, he orders his witness, Thomas, to come out of hiding. Thomas comes forward and recounts everything that Picklock said about the trust and his intention to cheat Pennyboy Jr. out of his inheritance. Despite these revelations, however, Picklock stubbornly refuses to admit that the trust ever existed.

Act 5, Scene 3: Pennyboy Junior’s home
Lickfinger enters. Pennyboy Jr. speaks aside with his father for a moment (note: at this point Pennyboy Jr. presumably tells his father that he has outwitted Picklock and intercepted the deed). Picklock asks Lickfinger for the ‘writing’ (the deed) he was supposed to bring. Lickfinger says that he gave it to the other porter. Picklock has no idea what ‘other porter’ Lickfinger is talking about, but he senses that he has been the victim of a plot. The (rather subtle) details of Pennyboy Junior’s scheme to intercept the deed are brought to light. The trick, which happens entirely offstage, unfolded as follows:

1) Picklock sent a porter (with keys) to his home to tell Lickfinger to unlock the deed and bring it to Pennyboy Jr.’s home.

2) Pennyboy Jr. secretly sent a second porter (with an official badge) to Picklock’s home. Pretending that Picklock sent him, the second porter told Lickfinger that plans had changed and that Lickfinger should give him the deed.

3)The second porter brought the deed to Pennyboy Jr.

Worried that all is lost, Picklock exits. Pennyboy Canter congratulates his son for outwitting Picklock and tells him to take off his rags: all is forgiven. Lickfinger asks if they have heard the latest news: the loss of Pecunia has driven Pennyboy Sr. mad. In addition to almost killing his maid by throwing things at her, the old miser has left his front doors open so that passersby can view the makeshift court he has set up in his house, where he sits as judge with his two dogs on trial. Pennyboy says that he will go to see his brother right away.

Act 5, Scene 4: Pennyboy Senior’s home (he holds court with his dogs on trial)
A Porter tells Pennyboy Sr. that the prisoners (his two dogs) will be brought in shortly. Pennyboy Sr. smells alcohol on the Porter’s breath and accuses him of being drunk on the job. The porter protests that he only had one drink with another porter. Pennyboy Sr. scolds him for wasting money and delivers a notably unhinged rant on the dangers of reckless spending. The Porter exits. Pennyboy Sr. calls the first dog, Lollard, forward and begins to examine him: “Peace! / What whispering was that you had with Mortgage / When you last licked her feet? The truth now! Ha, / Did you smell she was going? [To an imaginary clerk.] Put / down that” (38-41). When the examination is finished, he sends Lollard to prison and examines the second dog, Block, whom he eventually sends to prison as well.

Act 5, Scene 5: Pennyboy Senior’s home
The jeerers—Cymbal, Fitton, Shunfield, Almanac, and Madrigal—enter. They jeer Pennyboy Sr. mercilessly, mocking him for all he has lost. They run away in fear, however, when Lickfinger enters to report that Pennyboy Canter is on his way over.

Act 5, Scene 6: Pennyboy Senior’s home
Pennyboy Canter enters with Pennyboy Jr. and Pecunia, who his accompanied by her attendants, Statue, Band, Wax, and Mortgage. Scoffing at the jeerers' sudden exit, Pennyboy Canter calls them “a poor, affrighted / And guilty race of men that dare to stand / No breath of truth” (2-3). Pennyboy Sr. is amazed to see his brother alive. Pennyboy Canter says that he has come to restore Pennyboy Sr.’s sanity. He returns Pecunia to the old miser, but warns him to “use her like a friend not like a slave / or like an idol” (22-23). Pennyboy Sr. says that he will give Pecunia greater freedom and allow her to marry Pennyboy Jr. Pecunia ends the play with some verses on the prudent use of money:

And so Pecunia herself doth wish,

That she may still be aid unto their uses,

Not slave unto their pleasures or a tyrant

Over their fair desires, but teach them all

The golden mean: the prodigal how to live,

The sordid and covetous how to die;

That, with sound mind; this, safe frugality. (60-65)

External links

• The Staple of News online.