The Stoned Guest is "the premiere recording of the Half-Act Opera by P. D. Q. Bach", the pseudonym used by Peter Schickele for parodic works. It was released on Vanguard Records in 1970. The title is a play on Dargomyzhsky's opera The Stone Guest.
- Entire fiasco under the supervision of Professor Peter Schickele
- The Orchestra of the University of Southern North Dakota at Hoople Heavy Opera Company under the direction of John Nelson
- Marlene Kleinman, mezzanine soprano (Donna Ribalda, a high-born lady of the lowlands)
- Lorna Haywood, off-coloratura (Carmen Ghia, a woman of ailing repute)
- John Ferrante, bargain counter tenor (Don Octave, an itinerant nobleman)
- Bernice, houndentenor (Dog)
- Will Jordan as Milton Host
- Bill Macy as Paul Henry Lung
- Amateur Musica Antiqua of Hoople
2. Half-Act Opera: The Stoned Guest, Part One (P.D.Q. Bach)
- Aria: "Let's face it — I'm lost"
- Recitative: "Boy!"
- Aria: "Now is the season"
- Recitative: "Gesundheit!"
- Duet: "Woe"
- Recitative: "Hark!"
- Aria: "Look at me"
- Recitative: "That's the end"
- Trio: "I'm sure I'd be"
3. Intermission Feature: Opera Whiz
4. Plot Synopsis
5. Half-Act Opera: The Stoned Guest, Completion (P.D.Q. Bach)
- Recitative: "I hate to interrupt"
- Quartet: "Don Octave"
- Finale: "O saviour"
6. Two Madrigals from The Triumphs of Thusnelda (P.D.Q. Bach)
- "The Queen to me a royal pain doth give"
- "My bonnie lass she smelleth"
P.D.Q. Bach: The Stoned Guest