Funerals in Tonga, despite the large Christian influence they have undergone over the last 150 years or so, are still very much a traditional affair and an important part of the culture of Tonga, especially if it concerns the death of a member of the royal family or a high chief.
The influence of Christianity on Anga Faka Tonga (Tongan culture) is seen in the black clothing worn by mourners during the mourning period. The period of mourning, and thus the obligation to wear black, differs depending on how closely related a mourner is to the deceased. For an acquaintance it may be a few days; for a distant relation it may be a few weeks whilst for close relatives the mourning period may last for up to a year. This is irrespective whether a taʻovala is worn or not. For those in uniform a black armband is allowed instead.
Appearing in public during this period a taʻovala (mat tied around the waist) is much recommended, and it should be during that time a mourning taʻovala. And for sure when attending the funeral itself, it is obligatory. What kind of mat is worn depends on the relationship to the deceased. Close relatives who are "inferior", in kinship terms, or "brother's" side, wear old, coarse, torn mats, sometimes even old floor mats. These are the relatives who do the hard, dirty work of preparing the ʻumu at the funeral. Relatives on the "sister's side" wear fine mats, often family heirloom mats. Those who are not related at all should wear fine mats that are fakaʻahu, or smoked over a fire until they are a rich mahogany color.
Over the course mats loose strips of pandanus may be worn, as whether it is a kiekie. This is the fakaaveave (meaning: like an asparagus), and also a sign of respect. In the later days of the mourning period the fakaaveave can be worn alone without the bulky taʻovala.
In the case of the death of a king, everybody is inferior of course, and only the course mats are worn. Some are very huge ones for close relatives.
As soon as the death has occurred all family members will be notified, nowadays often by a radio message and they are supposed to come to the putu (funeral rites), no excuses. For friends or distantly related members it is enough that they come, pay their respect to the dead, bring a small gift for the widow (or whatever the case may be), have their share of food and then leave until the actual burial. The household of the deceased is supposed to provide a meal, or meals if it takes long, to all mourners. In case of a large family this is a huge and expensive operation with big ʻumu, and tons of food.
Closer family will bring huge ngatu and other traditional gifts, and are supposed to stay for the ʻapō (night vigil). Usually a big tent (some companies are specialised in hiring out such tents) is erected in the garden, and there the people sit the whole night singing religious songs. One night, but in case of a high chief the ʻapō can last a whole week.
The burial itself starts with a church service, the number of reverends/priests, the number of their sermons and therefore the duration of the service is proportional to the rank of the corpse. After that all parade to that cemetery where the family has a piece of ground. A brassband may lead the procession. If it is a high ranking civil servant, it will be the police brassband.
Meanwhile men and boys of the family have dug a grave, and the coffin is lowered in there. Nowadays the grave is usually sealed with concrete. After that all leave, although the closest relatives may stay at the grave for the next 10 days.
Death of a king
In Tonga, the monarch is still considered so sacred that no one may touch him. Thus the Haʻa Tufunga clan is charged with funeral duties for though they claim descent from a brother (Māliepō) of the first Tongan king, they are not part of the Tongan ranking system because of their Sāmoan ancestry. It is headed by Lauaki, who serves as he is the royal undertaker, and only his men, known as the nima tapu ("sacred hands") may touch the dead king's remains.
In case of an important chief for 10 days after the interment relatives and friends of the deceased bring food from the ʻumu to its closest family members. Such food is always put in baskets, woven from coconut palm fronds. It is a tradition in this situation not to carry the baskets in the hands, but from a pole over the shoulders. This is called the haʻamo (Compare with: Haʻamonga ʻa Maui).
During the initial mourning period the mourners (especially the women) are not supposed to do their hair, but let it hang loose unattended. At the end of the 10 days it will be officially cut. In pre-Christian time in addition a part of the little finger (or any other finger if the pink was already consumed on earlier occasions) would be cut off. That many people were missing their pinks was directly noted by Abel Tasman in 1643. Even as late as 1865 when Tēvita ʻUnga, king George Tupou I's son, the crown prince, was described as "minus 2 fingers, cut off as a tribute to some deceased relatives" (as well as having lost one eye).
This tenth day is known as the pongipongi tapu (sacred morning) and features a taumafa kava (royal kava ceremony), which is a good time to bestow the chiefly title (if any) of the deceased onto his heir.
The end of the mourning, 100 days later, is marked by the lanu kilikili (washing of the stones), when little black stones (volcanic stones, collected from islands like Tofua) are rubbed with sweet smelling oil are laid out over the grave. (This was originally done inside the grave to replace the by then rotten away skin of the deceased.) This ends the task of the undertaker.
- Brenchley: Jottings during the cruise of HMS 'Curacoa' among the South seas islands in 1865; London 1873.