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Twisted Christmas is a humorous Christmas album recorded by Bob Rivers and his Comedy Corp. It is the first in a line of Christmas-themed parody albums from Rivers, with later entries including I Am Santa Claus, More Twisted Christmas, Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire, and White Trash Christmas.
- The Twelve Pains of Christmas (3:36)
- Parody of "The Twelve Days of Christmas." Sung as a normal Christmas carol, with each verse comedically recited by a participant in a painful or undesirable activity.
- The Chimney Song (2:06)
- Original song, sung by a young child (or impersonator). The song describes the ensuing months after Santa Claus gets stuck in someone's chimney.
- We Wish You Weren't Living With Us (0:44)
- Wreck the Malls (2:02)
- A Visit from St. Nicholson (4:30)
- Parody of "A Visit from St. Nicholas" by Clement Clark Moore, with actor Jack Nicholson (in a parody of his movie roles portraying disturbed maniacs) appearing instead of St. Nicholas. Spoken-word piece with no music.
- O Come All Ye Grateful Dead-Heads (1:23)
- I'm Dressin' Up Like Santa (When I Get Out on Parole) (3:06)
- The Restroom Door Said, "Gentlemen" (1:33)
- Parody of "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen." Sung by an all-male a cappella chorus. The subject has apparently been subjected to a prank in which someone flipped the Mens and Ladies signs to the restroom, which leads to his being assaulted by the women (ironically all of professions stereotypically considered compassionate: nuns, old ladies and a nurse) inside.
- Foreigners (2:07)
- Joy to the World (1:22)
- Hard rock instrumental version of traditional song.
- A Message from the King (2:18)
- Spoken word piece by an Elvis impersonator. Depicted as Elvis being up in "rock 'n roll heaven" and giving a special message about the importance of Christmas while stuffing his face with various foods.