Unconditional love

Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs. It is a concept comparable to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers. By contrast, unconditional love is frequently used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships. It has also been used in religious context to describe God's love for humankind.

Types

Unconditional love separates the individual from her or his behaviors. The individual is loved unconditionally as a "perfect" child of the Higher Power. However, the individual may exhibit behaviors that are unacceptable in a particular situation. To begin with a simple example: one acquires a puppy. The puppy is cute, playful, and the owner's heart swells with love for this new family member. Then the puppy urinates on the floor. The owner does not stop loving the puppy, but needs to modify the behavior through training and education.

Critical views

Some secular authors make a distinction between unconditional love and conditional love. In conditional love: love is 'earned' on the basis of conscious or unconscious conditions being met by the lover, whereas in unconditional love, love is 'given freely' to the loved one 'no matter what'. Loving first. Conditional love requires some kind of finite exchange, whereas unconditional love is seen as infinite and measureless. Unconditional love should not be mistaken with unconditional dedication: unconditional dedication refers to an act of the will irrespective of feelings (e.g. a person may consider they have a duty to stay with a person); unconditional love is an act of the feelings irrespective of will.

As a level of consciousness

Mario Beauregard of Montreal University used Magnetic Resonance Imaging to study active areas of the brain in people who were most likely to experience unconditional love. Seven areas of the brain became active when these subjects called to mind feelings of unconditional love. Three of these were similar to areas that became active when it came to romantic love. The other four were different, which means that the feeling of love for someone without the need of being rewarded is different from the feeling of romantic love.

Beauregard's study found that some brain areas that turned on when a person felt unconditional love also engaged in discharging dopamine, chemical that plays a role in sensing pleasure.

Teaching and Expressing Unconditional Love

When we set out to teach unconditional love, we must first exam whether or not we know unconditional love ourselvs. Unconditional love is often misconstrued, misunderstood, and mininterpreted to be a love that is only shared with our children. Whereas, unconditional love is a type of love that has no set boundaries, conditions, parameters, or restrictions. We must first know unconditional love in order to have unconditional love or to share unconditional love. If we don't know what it is to have unconditional love, then we will never fully understand how to completely grasp the concept of unconditional love. Unconditional love must first be experienced in order to share with another. If I say I love another, but know not this love, then how can I express it outwardly? Unconditional love forgives all; accepts all; approves all; trusts all; and has a peace that clings to nothing but this type of love.

"Unconditional love isn’t about allowing people to take advantage of your good will and heart. Unconditional love is generous with forgiveness and renewal, but it does not mean we live without personal boundaries or allow our loved ones to abandon their accountability for their actions. You can choose to love someone despite their actions, because people and their behaviors are not one and the same. Everyone makes choices in their life, based on their own level of conscious awareness. We all are on our own unique journey, and the only one walking in our shoes. Our interaction and support of one another is a part of the learning and growing in our journeys. As the giver of unconditional love, you may find yourself offering your support in a certain situations—and in others, step back and allowing your loved one to experience his or her choices fully; independent of your involvement." .

“Author, Dr. Asa Don Brown, once said: 'I have frequently thought to myself, ‘If I can teach my daughter one thing, it will be the love of self unconditionally.’ Unconditional love and peace are obtainable, but they are only obtainable if I can learn to move beyond the conditions that I placed on my life. When conditions are placed on my life and on the lives of others, they ensure that I will never experience the depths of love and happiness.'” .

The New Testament Bible, 1 Corinthians 13 New International Version (NIV) "4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails." .

Religious perspective

Christianity

In Christianity, the term "unconditional love" would be more accurately expressed as Christ's forgiveness. It may also be used to indicate God's love for a person irrespective of that person's love for God. The term is not explicitly used in the Bible and advocates for God's conditional or unconditional love, using different passages or interpretations to support their point of view, are both encountered. It may be considered to be closely associated with another non-explicitly biblical, but commonly encountered saying: "God loves the sinner, but hates the sin".

While the phrase has never been used in its official teachings documents the then head of the Roman Catholic Church, Pope John Paul II was recorded as saying during a homily in San Francisco, in September 1987, that God "loves us all with an unconditional, everlasting love". He explored issues touching upon this theme in his work Dives in Misericordia (1980) in which the parable of the Prodigal Son becomes a framework for exploring the issue of God's mercy. The civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. was quoted as saying “I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality”.

Other religions

Neopaganism in general, and Wicca in particular, commonly use a traditional inspirational text, Charge of the Goddess, affirming that the Goddess's "law is love unto all beings".

Reference works

• Brown, Asa Don, Waiting to Live, 2010, ISBN 1450236723, ISBN 9781450236751, ISBN 9781450236720
• Perrin-Falquet, Joan, and Hay, Louise, I Can Do It Cards, Self-Esteem, 2003, ISBN: 1401900747, ISBN: 978-1401900748
• Kramer, J. and Alstead D., The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power, 1993, ISBN 1-883319-00-5
• Schnarch, David, Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships, 1998, ISBN 0-8050-5826-5
• Schnarch, David, Constructing the Sexual Crucible; An Integration of Sexual and Marital Therapy,
• Schnarch, David, Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems and Revolutionizing Your Relationship.
• Stendhal, On Love: The Classic Analysis of Romantic Love*Tennov, Dorothy, Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love, 1999