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Made in China, land of the snot rocket.
Made in china.jpg

Facebook-like-button.pngGuess What? Nobody really gives a shit what you like.
Ain't dat the truff?
Pffffft.gif The word for today is Formication

Portrait Of A Baboon.jpg I may not be on Wikipedia often if at all in the near future due to a serious medical condition. It appears I have developed a rather large, and possibly fatal crack in my ass. If not medically treated this crack will grow and I may split in half. I have been placed on the ass-transplant list. Mike :(15:59, 16 September 2012 (UTC)

Please read:

A personal appeal from

an author of 3,647,328 Wikipedia articles

Send this
Wikimedia's servers are housed in this garden shed
From Wikipedia author Mike

On Wikipedia, I’ve created 3,647,328 articles. All of them for FREE.

I’m a poverty stricken headcase from NYC systems consultant, working with very large-scale financial computer systems. If the time I’ve spent on Wikipedia were converted to money, it would add up to $9.69 ONE BILLION DOLLARS for me. I can sure use ONE BILLION DOLLARS because I need stuff like a new pair of underwear from K Mart. But money is not the incentive here. You deal in a different currency on Wikipedia, called EGOS (pronounced: E-goze). Google might have close to 3 billion servers (Holy crap!!!, that's a lot). Yahoo has something like 273,647.3 staff. Wikimedia has 6 servers in a garden shed with a leaky roof in Jim Wales backyard in Florida, and they're maintained by Luigi the gardener and Frank the paperboy.

At Wikipedia you get biased, inaccurate information, organized in a sloppy fashion, poorly-documented, usually un-referenced, and rarely up-to-date, whenever you want it, ALL FOR FREE. So why don't you stop being a greedy, selfish self-centered bastard and show a little WikiLove (whatever that is) and send some Cash.

The sooner you pony-up the cash the less time you have to spend looking at those scary-looking people at the top of the page saying I CAN HAZ MONEY? every single time you click on Wikipedia. Thank you.

Farts make me laugh, boobies make me smile

Useful links[edit]

  • The National Library of Medicine (NLM), on the campus of NIH in Bethesda, Maryland, is the world's largest medical library
  • The National Institute of Health : Free access to published articles: journal list. "The NIH Public Access Policy ensures that the public has access to the published results of NIH funded research. It requires scientists to submit final peer-reviewed journal manuscripts that arise from NIH funds to the digital archive PubMed Central upon acceptance for publication. The Policy requires that these papers are accessible to the public on PubMed Central no later than 12 months after publication".
  • The British Medical Journal, archives are free to registered users, registration is free
  • Medscape free articles for registered users, registration is free

Mein fotos[edit]

Mein fotos are taken with mein crappy cell phone camera

Verrazano-Narrows Bridge. Picture was taken while waterskiing across Upper New York Bay while wearing a purple Speedo.
Madison Street in Manhattan. I took this picture while hanging upside down from the Manhattan Bridge and eating a banana.
Staten Island Ferry approaching Manhattan; viewed from Battery Park. Picture was taken while eating a burrito and standing in some weeds.
Bethlehem Steel viewed from St. Michael's Cemetery on South Mountain.
A view from the Manhattan Bridge.

Monkeybusiness (no mein fotos)[edit]

What are you staring at ugly?
Got balls?
I enjoy juggling my balls, I have five balls just like mi amigo Doc James, who is seen here juggling his balls.
Hey!!!!, the latest edition of Playboy!!!

Petty ego section[edit]

The Tower of Hanoi is useful in testing for cognitive planning deficits. I invented it.
  • West Nile virus: I did this one because I think an infected mosquito bit me in the ass.
  • Suicide: I redid the whole article and tried to delete most of the b.s. on there, the crap still on there like the garish picture of 'le suicide' and the termites blowing themselves up crap I tried to delete too,no such luck. I added the section on treatment, prevention, screening, the role of medical problems causing 'psychological symptoms' etc. There are treatments that work, there are things that can be done. I added that in an effort to help people {nice ones). Unfortunately even with the knowledge a person would need money, often someone to help them and advocate on their behalf and then actually trying to find a competent medical professional.
  • List of suicide crisis lines: Human interaction even via telephone has a positive effect on the human brain and depending on location some crisis lines may be able to give information on various resources. So it figures some lard-ass person on Wikipedia wanted to delete it.
  • Depression (differential diagnoses): A lot of people - a conservative 10% have an undiagnosed medical condition causing their 'psychiatric disorder', upwards of 50% have an undiagnosed medical condition, which if not the primary cause of their psychiatric symptoms, is exacerbating it. (that translates into millions of people who are getting the shaft, because they can't get a proper diagnosis) Another person wanted to delete this article. (a psychiatrist no less, proved my pointed).
  • Hemoglobin Lepore syndrome: I did this to piss off the person, (doctor) who started it with one sentence and misnamed to boot but then felt bad because there is not enough information in one article, so I made one, (aww Mike you are so nice).
  • Silent stroke: is a precursor to major stroke, at least 10% of adults over the age of 40 have had one and children can also have one - around 30% of children with sickle cell disease have had one. Another Wikipedia user wanted to delete this article.( a doctor). If it would have been deleted by a doctor then other doctors wouldn't have been able to plagiarize it, si? or no? Portions of it were copied verbatim in a medical journal, a research article that is published in three other journals, various neurology groups in the U.S. and Australia, two stem cell research centers, an assisted living facility, a cardiologist in Manhattan, a medical supply company etc. etc.
  • Planning (cognitive): It's cognitive process necessary to function in all facets and various stages of life especially in adulthood. This crap doesn't work for me (poor, poor Mike, woe is me, ohhhh the humanity!!!).
  • Cognitive Remediation Therapy: a type of therapy that actually works for various disorders.
  • Cognitive flexibility: is the term used to describe one of the executive functions; a function which is an important component of human behavior; the ability to switch behavioral response according to the context of the situation.

Green Red Blue
Purple Blue Purple

Blue Purple Red
Green Purple Green

Stroop Test
Naming the color of the first set of words is easier and quicker than the second set. A test of cognitive flexiblity. I invented this too.
  • Anorexia nervosa: I did a lot of it, including Anorexia nervosa (differential diagnoses) (which sucks and needs to be redone). People starving themselves to death read this, I heve seen segments of the article on variuos blogs and chatboards frequented by people suffering from it. What is written and how it is written can have either a positive, negative or a deleterious effect upon them.
  • von Willebrands disease: My interest in von Willebrands is due to medical incompetence and misdiagnosis. A doctor who went to Case Western University and Columbia University and was the head of department for pediatric hematology and oncology in a major hospital in the northeast U.S., made an erroneous diagnosis of von Willebrand's disease. I proved him wrong; no brilliance on part he had made incredibly unprofessional and egregious errors. What a major incompetent dickhead.
  • Pituitary adenoma:I did a large part of this article. About 20-25% of people have one. Generally considered 'benign', a meta-analysis of the available research shows that there are few studies that support that assumption, and they are of poor quality. What is known is that there is a high incidence of pituitary adenomas found at autopsy in suicide victims - these are referred to as incidentalomas, which means holy shit! I found a tumor. It is incredulous that giving the astronomical prevalence rate and the link to suicide that more research is not done in this area.
  • Cerebral hypoxia: A majority of this one. There are various medical conditions and scenarios which may result in either hypoxia or anoxia with long term deleterious consequences for the patient, such as a protracted delivery process during birth or a heart attack.
  • Intrauterine hypoxia: by no means complete but it gives the gist of. Something else which is never inquired of in the 'mental health' field.
  • Skull fracture: It's not complete, but it gives the gist of it, plus this neglected fact: Neurological deficits in skull fractures:
The presence of a concussion or skull fracture in trauma patients without intracranial hemorrhage or focal neurologic deficits was indicated in long term cognitive impairments and emotional lability at nearly double the rate as those patients without either complication.
In a study of emergency room patients suspected of having suffered closed head injuries, neuropsychological testing and computerized tomography (CT) scans came back with normal results. The patients did not differ in Closed head injury (CHI) scores as measured by the Glasgow Coma Scale (GCS).
Those with a skull fracture were shown to have "neuropsychological dysfunction, even in the absence of intracranial pathology or more severe disturbance of consciousness on the GCS".
Simple question, never asked in the 'mental health' field: Have you ever had a skull fracture?
  • Pine Ridge Indian Reservation: These people are suffering out there. I did a majority of this article. One in four children is born with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. People on the resrvation have the lowest life expectancy in the Western hemisphere except for Haiti. The article recieves 10,000 hits more after it was redone.
  • Foster care: I was raised in foster care by people who treated me like crap (even though I looked so fabulous and had marvelous hair - the bastards). I wrote a large part of it so other people like myself know that there is a sound scientific basis for what 'problems' they may be experiencing in life. Foster care actually causes neurological damage right down to the cellular level affecting various processes such as neurogenesis (foster care also gave me gas).
  • Terrell Peterson: this is what we let happen to children in the United States, he shouldn't be forgotten, and his case is indicative of untold thousands more. The family court system and 'child protective services' in the United States is an abomination. Many of those drawing a salary and tasked with protecting children do the exact opposite and nobody deems to give a rat's ass, about innocent kids.

Just because[edit]

Plus these[2]. Plus like three million other articles, actually I wrote all of Wikipedia (the good articles, other people write the crap). I don't care if people copy what I wrote on Wikipedia because it strokes my bruised and damaged ego. Just not on for-profit websites, especially a doctor claiming my text for his own. Just say no to plagiarism (unless there is cash involved).

Judging people[edit]

Don't judge anybody unless they're mean, then eff them.

My other accomplishments[edit]

  • Once during a Fart lighting competition I had a three foot flame shoot out of my ass. (I won)

Moral of the Story[edit]

Just because you have flatulence and fart a lot does not mean you are a stinky person, well actually you do stink but you can still be somebody...somewhere.

References for later[edit]

  • The Neurobiological Basis of Suicide[3]
  • BDNF and Suicidal Behavior in Adolescents[4]
  • Higher expression of serotonin 5-HT(2A) receptors in the postmortem brains of teenage suicide victims PMID 11870006
  • Brain-derived neurotrophic factor and tyrosine kinase B receptor signalling in post-mortem brain of teenage suicide victims. PMID 18611289
  • Brain-derived neurotrophic factor and suicidal behavior. PMID 21051476