User:Reaching nancy
Kristina Ann Falgoust, born April 26 1985, lives in New Orleans, Louisiana, but grew up in the humble town of South Vacherie, Louisiana. Most contemporary historians now consider her the greatest human being ever.
Life
[edit]
Not much is known about her life, other than that she was born at 11:53 AM on a gentle Tuesday in a seedy hotel room right outside Amelia, Louisiana, where the polluted bayou water saturates the air, dirtying everything in this nearly brown haze, what some mistake for airborne feces.
Strangely, according to some reports, she was born as a poor black boy called "Busta Loose."
Aside from the detailed records of Dr. Hornicker--who investigators later determined to be a Listerine-inebriated Don Knotts--facts remain unsubstantiated.
She is known to hide a ziplock bag full of panties on her person at all times.
Favorite Movies
[edit]Thoughts on Poop
[edit]To Kristina, these are private matters.
Love Life
[edit]She now dates an indolent, poop-obsessed, fledgling writer named Burt Reynolds--The Sequel. He has plans to host a talk show on Oxygen next fall.
Dance
[edit]Oh, she wants to dance with somebody. She wants to feel the heat. Yeah, she wants to dance with somebody. Somebody who loves her. Somebody who, Somebody who...
Scientific Discovery
[edit]Finally disproving the long-held theory that a fetus shoved into a cow’s womb will give the child special beastly powers--such as talking to a dirty tiger, befriending two rascally ferrets who sleep in a pouch near your groin, and (should this happen) making the most awful sci-fi adventure movie ever (only later to film a sequel with a lady who looks like one of the characters in Designing Women)--Kristina stunned the scientific community.
If herpes did not exist, would you have a one-night stand with Brett?
[edit]Yes.
Additional Commentary
[edit]Two thumbs up for chocolate.
(This page is in-progress.)