User:Ye Olde Luke

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Ye Olde Luke is currently:
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For those obsessed with humour and parody, Ye Olde Luke also has a User Page on Uncyclopedia.
Barack Obama.jpg This user supports Barack Obama for President.
User:Dtbohrer/Userboxes/Stargate
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This user loves the Land Before Time, yep yep yep!
STAR TREK Ye Olde Luke is a fan of Star Trek: The Original Series. TOS
DOGGY! This User enjoys reading the webcomic Freefall.
Shakespeare2.jpg This user has read 17 of William Shakespeare's plays.
Federal Reserve.jpg This user thinks 76.117.247.55 should not get an account.

I am Ye Olde Luke; hear me roar.

At least, you would hear me roar if I had the credibility to roar. Unfortunately, as I became a user a mere two minutes ago, I have no eligible reason to be roaring any more than an extra in a movie, in the sense that roaring in such a situation would only call attention to oneself and usually result in the unfortunate (yet utterly unimportant-to-the-plot) death of the ambitious newcomer.

Why this is, no one can say, except that in many a situation I have found that, when one is not the main character, it is a good idea to keep one's mouth shut, as is shown in the following situation:

NOTE: As of late, someone seems to be editing the below scenario. While I enjoy his additions, it seems to detract from the overall point of the diatribe. For this reason, I am leaving an editable version that anyone may contribute to if they feel like doing so. Please make your changes there!

[Six good guys are infiltrating the bad guy's fortress, in the hopes of capturing him.]

Main Character: All right, team, we're going in. A, B, take the left fork. C, D, you're with me through the right fork. E, hang back and cover this entrance.

[The men nod and spread out like Main Character said to. Main Character, C, and D head down a hallway.]

Main Character: Hmmmmmm... We haven't seen to have been attacked yet.

[Bad Guy minions come running down an adjacent hallway.]

C: Main Character! Look!

[Immediately after saying this, C is shot and killed by the first bullet fired. A gunfight ensues, and Main Character single-handedly shoots and kills all the minions.]

Main Character: All right, let's go.

[Meanwhile, E is busy guarding the front gate.]

E: Tra la la la la la la...

[The Bad Guy sneaks up from behind and slits his throat. He falls dead. Meanwhile, Main Character and D are sneaking through hallways. Suddenly, Main Character's radio beeps. He puts it to his ear.]

B: Main Character, this is B. I've infiltrated the enemy base, and I think I've discovered- Huh? What's that? Oh no! AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Main Character: Hello? Hello? B? Are you there?

[No answer. Main Character starts running really fast down a hallway to find B. Eventually, he meets up with A.]

Main Character: Take us to whatever B found.

[The three run and end up in a big room. Bad Guy is waiting for them.]

Bad Guy Bwahahaa... You cannot defeat me!!!

A: I'll kill him for you, Main Character!

Main Character: No, A! Wait!

[But it is too late. A charges Bad Guy and Bad Guy instantly kills him.]

Bad Guy: You have no chance of defeating me!

Main Character: You'll never get away with this!

Bad Guy: Why don't you try and stop me?

Main Character: Fine, I will.

[The two have an epic duel and Main Character eventually kills Bad Guy while simultaneously doing something that will cause the entire base to explode.]

Main Character: Let's get out of here!

[Main Character and D escape the fortress and fly away as it blows up behind them. The world is saved yet again!]


As you can see, every extra that opened their mouth died soon after. D, apparently an experienced background character that is been through a few movies already, knew to keep his mouth shut, and survived because of it.

If you remember why I am telling you all this, it was to show you why I am not currently roaring. However, now that I have been a registered user for three hours and forty-seven minutes longer than when I started this explanation, I think I have been a user long enough to justify my roaring. So please disregard everything you have just read, since I now give my self permission to roar.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

Hello let me help my buddy tell you who I am,,, Wikraptor 19:16, 16 July 2007 (UTC) /Subpage