Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories soundtrack
The soundtrack of the video game Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories is presented as a series of radio stations that broadcast music and information to Vice City, circa 1984. Most of these stations are also featured in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City; however, as Vice City is set two years later, there are many differences between the stations. This provides an additional mini-storyline involving the DJs and personalities who feature in both games. Some stations and radio shows have suggestively ended broadcast by GTA: Vice City 's timeline.
The only time a player can hear the radio is when the protagonist acquires a car (or in the "Audio" section of the pause menu). The station that will be playing when the player gets in is fairly random but it can be changed or switched off if desired.
Besides the radio stations, music can also be heard during the game's intro sequence (Vice Squad composed by Stuart Hart, Steven Stern and Thomas Hirschmann) and some cutscenes.
- 1 Music stations
- 2 Talk stations
- 3 Commercials
- 4 Notes
- 5 External links
- The Motels – "Only the Lonely"
- 10cc – "I'm Not in Love"
- Quarterflash – "Harden My Heart"
- Toto – "Make Believe"
- Elkie Brooks – "Fool (If You Think It's Over)"
- The Passions – "I'm in Love with a German Film Star"
- Foreigner – "I Want to Know What Love Is"
- The Assembly – "Never Never"
- Pat Benatar – "We Belong"
- The Pretenders – "Private Life"
- Phil Collins – "In the Air Tonight"
- Roxy Music – "Avalon"
- Eddie Money – "Baby Hold On"
- Rainbow – "Stone Cold"
- Giuffria – "Call To The Heart"
- Art of Noise – "Moments in Love"
- Dan Hartman – "I Can Dream About You"
Summary: In Vice City Stories, Emotion 98.3 in 1984 features seminal (and very lonely and depressed) host sensation Lionel Makepeace (voiced by Steve Stratton) at the helm, while Grand Theft Auto recurring character Fernando Martínez plays only a minor role as a roving reporter—his first break in radio—roaming the streets of Vice City, looking for love in all the wrong places. Oddly Lionel and Fernando are actually friends, Lionel only questioning Fernando's interpretation of love. Two years later, Fernando would be the DJ on the station. Lionel Makepeace performed by Steve Stratton, and Fernando Martínez, the roving reporter, by Frank Chavez. Ann Dewig, Phil Collins, and Randy Pearlstein provided other voices on this station.
- Ray Barretto – "Acid"
- Pete "El Conde" Rodriguez – "I Like It (I Like It Like That)"
- Tito Puente – "Oye Como Va"
- Bobby Valentín – "Mi Ritmo Es Bueno"
- Celia Cruz and Johnny Pacheco – "Quimbara"
- Héctor Lavoe – "Mi Gente"
- Eddie Palmieri – "Revolt / La Libertad Logico"
- Willie Colón – "El Malo"
Summary: Espantoso still plays much of the same content it plays in 1986, although a few of the tracks such as Oye Como Va will be more familiar to a wider variety of music lovers, as all the music in the list is still listened under the Fania All-Stars record label from New York; which featured a major Latin-Caribbean singing lineup, such as Héctor Lavoe, Willie Colón, Celia Cruz, and Johnny Pacheco. DJ Hector Hernández is a failed telenovela actor (he makes references to the fictional telenovela "Red Hot Stepmom") that is obsessed with returning to the top, even making a deal with Jeremy Robard and insulting Pepe, his successor to the station. Hector Hernández is voiced by Frank Rodríguez.
- Laura Branigan – "Gloria"
- Rick Springfield – "Human Touch"
- INXS – "The One Thing"
- Philip Bailey & Phil Collins – "Easy Lover"
- Scandal – "The Warrior"
- Alison Moyet – "Love Resurrection"
- The Alan Parsons Project – "Games People Play"
- Hall & Oates – "Family Man"
- Pat Benatar – "Love Is a Battlefield"
- Nik Kershaw – "Wouldn't It Be Good"
- Phil Oakey & Giorgio Moroder – "Together In Electric Dreams"
- Talk Talk – "It's My Life" (Extended version)
- Missing Persons – "Destination Unknown"
- Wang Chung – "Don't Let Go"
- Gino Vannelli – "Appaloosa"
- Genesis – "Turn It on Again"
- Blancmange – "Living on the Ceiling"
- Paul Young – "Come Back and Stay"
Summary: Similar to the situation with the earlier version of V-Rock, in Vice City Stories, Flash FM in 1984 features two hosts, with Toni returning and new co-host Teri. Like V-Rock, Teri seems to be in control of the show with future host Toni as her sidekick. It is hinted that Teri, in her mid-twenties, was considered too old to be hosting Flash FM. Both Teri and Toni share a mutual hostility with each other and exchange vicious insults regarding the other's sexual and drug habits, with Toni often gaining the upper hand. It is also implied throughout the show that both are under the influence of large amounts of cocaine whilst on the air.
Fresh 105 FM
- Afrika Bambaataa & the Soulsonic Force – "Renegades of Funk"
- Jonzun Crew – "Pack Jam (Look Out for the OVC)"
- Run-D.M.C. – "It's Like That"
- Planet Patrol – "Play at Your Own Risk"
- Egyptian Lover – "Egypt, Egypt"
- Art of Noise – "Beat Box" (Extended Version)
- Man Parrish – "Boogie Down Bronx"
- Rock Master Scott & the Dynamic Three – "Request Line"
- Midnight Star – "Freak-a-Zoid"
- Whodini – "Freaks Come Out at Night"
Summary: DJ Luke is voiced by Luther R. Campbell, better known as Luke Skyywalker from rap group 2 Live Crew. Fresh FM broadcasts live from a strip club and is technically a pirate radio station, much like Wildstyle in GTA: Vice City. "Freaks Come Out at Night" by Whodini was playing in the Malibu Club during the cutscene for "The Job" in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. The station is bought out by Oliver "Ladykiller" Biscuit between the events of Vice City Stories and Vice City, becoming Fever 105, as hinted by one of DJ Luke's comments.
- Unlimited Touch – "I Hear Music in the Streets"
- Plunky & the Oneness of Juju – "Everyway But Loose" (Larry Levan Remix)
- Geraldine Hunt – "Can't Fake the Feeling"
- Raw Silk – "Do It to the Music"
- Jimmy Bo Horne – "Is It In"
- Exodus – "Together Forever"
- Jackie Moore – "This Time Baby"
- Class Action – "Weekend (Tonight Is Party Time)"
- Gwen Guthrie – "It Should Have Been You"
- Thelma Houston – "You Used to Hold Me So Tight"
- Sister Sledge – "Lost in Music" (Special 1984 Nile Rodgers Mix)
- Donald Byrd – "Love Has Come Around"
- Change – "The Glow of Love"
Summary: Not including station identification, this is not only the first non-stop music radio station since "MSX FM" and the GTA III rendition of Rise FM, but quite possibly the first one since the first Grand Theft Auto game without a DJ. This station does not appear in GTA: Vice City.
Class Action's "Weekend" is featured as a house music remix by The Todd Terry Project in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, appearing on the SF-UR house radio station. Exodus' "Together Forever" is also sampled in Eddie Amador's song "House Music" on the house music station Rise FM in Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories. Likewise, Jackie Moore's "This Time Baby" serves as the basis of Freemasons' "Love on My Mind", which is featured on Vladivostok FM's expanded soundtrack in Grand Theft Auto IV's episodes.
- Marvin Gaye – "Sexual Healing"
- Earth, Wind & Fire – "Fantasy"
- Hot Chocolate – "It Started With a Kiss"
- Rick James – "Mary Jane"
- The Commodores – "Nightshift"
- Wally Badarou – "Mambo"
- Barry White – "It's Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next To Me"
- Sylvia Striplin – "You Can't Turn Me Away"
- Roy Ayers – "Everybody Loves The Sunshine"
- Keni Burke – "Risin' to the Top"
- Teddy Pendergrass – "Love T.K.O."
Summary: VCFL is an abbreviation of "Vice City For Lovers."
The VCFL Logo is patterned after the sculpture at LOVE Park in Philadelphia. DJ Tina Jane is voiced by Pat Floyd. Wil Wheaton, Rob Cross, Nataly Wilson, and Brandi Chaney-Giles call in requests to the station.
- Dio – "Holy Diver"
- Queensrÿche – "Queen of the Reich"
- Kiss – "Lick It Up"
- Dokken – "Breaking the Chains"
- Autograph – "All I'm Gonna Take"
- Accept – "Balls to the Wall"
- Scorpions – "Rock You Like a Hurricane"
- Krokus – "Long Stick Goes Boom"
- Ted Nugent – "Stranglehold"
- Ratt – "Round and Round"
- Judas Priest – "Electric Eye"
- Mötley Crüe – "Looks That Kill"
- Quiet Riot – "Metal Health (Bang Your Head)"
Summary: Couzin Ed briefly appeared in Vice City (his voice sounds different) when he called into V-Rock, angry that Lazlow took his job as DJ. In this game, which takes place two years prior, Lazlow is an intern under Couzin Ed who is constantly antagonizing Lazlow; Couzin Ed apparently extremely dislikes Lazlow because he repeatedly insults him. He constantly lambasts Lazlow for not being a "real man" and on occasion questions his sexuality. On the radio, it is revealed that in 1985, Lazlow enrolled in broadcasting school and then in 1986 (wherein Vice City takes place) takes Couzin Ed's job. In real life, Lazlow did go to broadcasting school, and at one point was a sidekick/intern at Couzin Ed's radio show. Imaging voicing provided by Jimmy "Fish" Fishback, other Voices include: Anthony Carvalho, Franceska Clemens, Kerry Shaw, Lenny Grossi & Sam Roberts. It is mentioned by Lazlow that V-Rock broadcasts live from Red Dick (Reddick), Florida.
The Wave 103
- The Human League – "Love Action (I Believe in Love)"
- Thompson Twins – "Love on Your Side"
- Depeche Mode – "Everything Counts"
- Blondie – "Heart of Glass"
- Frankie Goes to Hollywood – "Relax"
- ABC – "(How to Be a) Millionaire"
- New Order – "Blue Monday"
- Japan – "Quiet Life"
- Kajagoogoo – "Too Shy (Midnight Mix)"
- Heaven 17 – "Penthouse and Pavement"
- Berlin – "Sex (I'm A...)"
- Howard Jones – "Like to Get to Know You Well"
- The Cure – "A Forest"
- A Flock of Seagulls – "Space Age Love Song"
- Yazoo – "Don't Go"
Summary: Similar to the situation with the earlier version of V-Rock and Flash FM in Vice City Stories, Wave 103 in 1984 features two hosts, the British Trish Camden and American Adam First, who have conflicting personalities which lead to much argument on the radio. Adam First would become the station's sole host. Also, the station is named THE WAVE 103, however by 1986 it was shortened to just "Wave 103".
In the Wave 103 teaser on the official site, Trish states her desire to be a VJ, believing that music videos are the future of music ("I'm going to be a VJ. They're important, you know. Who's going to go to the radio to listen to music when you can watch it instead?"). On the station, she frequently mentions her upcoming auditions with an unnamed music television station. Trish is voiced by Anoushka Benson, while Jamie Canfield reprises his role as Adam First.
Both the genre of Wave music and the sexuality of those who listen to it are lampooned in the Station IDs. Two IDs refer to wave music as 're-purposed disco' and 'the bastard lovechild of punk and disco'. Other IDs feature one man referring to himself as sexually ambiguous, and another saying 'I don't care whether you're a girl or a boy, I'll still sleep with you'.
Vice City Public Radio, abbreviated as VCPR, features a variety of radio programs that satirize American culture (just like LCFR in Liberty City Stories). VCPR would move on to feature just one show by 1986, Pressing Issues. Like 1986, the chatter and pledge drives are still run by Freeloader and Montanius. This Station Is Commercial Free.
- Jonathan Freeloader ( Pat Olsen )
- Michelle Montanius ( Kelly Guest )
Note that despite its name, VCPR is apparently broadcast nationwide.
Pressing Issues is a public affairs radio show hosted by Maurice Chavez. Fans of the original Vice City will recognize the show for its irreverent satire on American celebrities and culture, as well as the climax that usually heralds the end of each episode.
- Maurice Chavez ( Philip Anthony-Rodriguez ) – The host of the show and someone constantly frustrated with the selection of his panel. He frequently has grandiose dreams of success after his show was moved from an overnight slot, which came to partial fruition with his show's domination of the VCPR channel 2 years later.
- Martin Graves – A technologist and stereotypical nerd who has absurdly futuristic dreams, many with a high concentration of robots, as well as a variety of strange sexual fetishes. Abhors mainstream religion as obsolete and derides creationism in classrooms. It's also implied that he's a transvestite.
- Bryony Craddock ( Shelagh Ratner ) – A fanatically patriotic "white trash" mother who has had fifteen children and is already pregnant with her next one, and ends up going into labor while the show is taping. She believes that large numbers of American children are the best way to preserve American culture and heritage. She also believes in matriarchy. She may also be a stereotype of a "soccer mom", as she attends numerous PTA meetings, is quite religious, and is quick to try to silence anyone who says something she finds offensive (she joined a successful petition to pull Crows then latest album off the radio, stating that she believes no one should be allowed to hear it.)
- Forbes Waverly III ( Melinda Wade ) – An uncaring and ruthless industrialist from Connecticut whose name and behavior are very masculine, implying that she is asexual, if not also a militant feminist much like Michaela Carapadis from K-CHAT. She is obsessed with the economy and possession. Her acerbic behavior is attributed to her being neglected by her father as a child.
It is implied throughout the breaks in between shows on VCPR and later revealed in Pressing Issues that Maurice Chavez had an affair with fellow reporter Michelle Montanius and impregnated her. She keeps begging Maurice for money to get an abortion. This clearly reveals why she called him an asshole in Vice City.
New World Order
A conservative foreign affairs show hosted by Dwayne Thorn. Each of the show's "reports" is a reflection on each of the negative socio-economic aspects of American influence on the rest of the world during the Cold War. The show also takes in calls from different individuals that predictably shock or puzzle Dwayne based on its subject material. NWO is a satire of the right-wing opinion shows that have proliferated in the American media.
- Dwayne Thorn – The bellicose host of the show, frequently proclaiming American superiority over the rest of the world. He is also a member of the Epsilon Program cult that premiered in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, as revealed when he says its mantra "Kifflom" when describing his religion.
- Bryce Parker – A reporter with a British accent, reporting on the prostitution – and his personal enjoyment – of children and prepubescents in Thailand. Dwayne is apparently far more interested in the latter.
- Chuck Summers – Reports on the stereotypical and abject poverty of India prior to its 21st century economic boom before suddenly coming down with a very violent case of diarrhea.
- John Sickerman – Another reporter with a British accent, John interviews an Ecuadorian drug lord named Pedro on how American money has "transformed" South American society, he also mentions about a woman called Bonnie Knight, the same from the TV show Angel & The Knight, since his voice is the same on commercials. Parodies American corporate influence in Central and South America as well as the funding of Contras and other violent individuals and groups in those regions during the closing stages of the Cold War.
- Heinrich Havelock – A reporter with a German accent, interviewing a tribal chieftain from a formerly forested town in Venezuela that Dwayne cannot pronounce (Dwayne also cannot correctly pronounce Heinrich's name). This interview parodies the cultural assimilation of indigenous peoples due to Western influence.
- A xenophobic customs and immigrations officer who believes that the phrase "Annuit Cœptis" on the reverse of the $1 bill is part of a conspiracy to get every American to speak Latin.
- Thorton, a hillbilly who, inspired by Buddha, tries to achieve "enlightenment" through supposedly easy self-help cookbooks and other material, and threatens Dwayne when he disagrees.
- Michelle, a caller from the Midwest who is sexually obsessed with Dwayne.
The show no longer exists in 1986
Bait and Switch with Larry Joe and Bobby Ray
A fishing show with two stereotypical rednecks and Vietnam War veterans as hosts, taped at the Vice City Boat and Sports Show. They have a feature called You and Your Boat, and include guest Kenny Crane.
- Larry Joe (Lloyd Floyd) – A typical redneck who enjoys beer, hunting and fishing. He's relatively dedicated to his sport, although his methods of catching prey are clearly in violation of generally accepted hunting regulations. His reactions to his co-host's ramblings differ from concern to frustration depending on the content. He gets mad when his co-host calls some prostitutes "sluts" and Larry Joe's wife (Marie Sue) a whore. He yells at Bobby Ray to "stop actin' funny, and I don't mean ha-ha funny!"
- Bobby Ray (Jim Florentine) – lacks a "redneck" accent. Bobbie Ray is actually more violent than his co-host thanks to serious PTSD issues from 'Nam. He readily admits to having killed numerous obese people at a water park while drunk, mistaking them for manatees. It's even implied from his descriptions that he had and continues to frequently engage in homoerotic activities, sometimes with himself if not his co-host or others.
- Kenny Crane (Christopher Murney) – A very stereotypical redneck that the hosts bring onto the show. He presents a form of baiting that involves the use of deer urine, something that Larry Joe is not impressed with.
Lloyd Floyd voiced DJ Hans Oberlander of SF-UR from the Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas soundtrack. He has also done voicework for other Rockstar games: Bully and The Warriors (video game). The show no longer exists in 1986
Gordon Moorehead Rides Again
Episode of a fictional radio detective series originally broadcast in the late 40s. This particular episode is entitled "Gordon Moorhead and the Exploding Breasts", for reasons not made clear at all until the end.
- Gordon Moorehead (Lloyd Floyd) – The main character, a very macho and misogynistic private eye. Moorehead's first and last names are often mispronounced by the announcer during the opening monologue.
- Molly Malmstein (Jen Cohn) – The "delectable yet slightly portly" female lead. Also depicted as the frail damsel-in-distress. Moorehead has the tendency to slap her frequently, often out of the blue.
- Pablo (Lloyd Floyd) – A Mexican stereotype who also appears to be Gordon and Molly's mutual friend. The three meet while looking for the fisherman in the swamp (dubbed "attractive wetland countryside right on your doorstep should you decide to move to our beautiful part of the world") near what would later become part of Vice City, and Pablo offers advice in a very stereotypically Mexican fashion as to how to deal with the mystery, such as offering tortilla chips and tequila.
- Pete Banbury aka the Fisherman (Jeff Steitzer) – The mystery for this show involves this fisherman mysteriously disappearing and begins with his daughter Lily suddenly gunned down. Molly finds him later, claiming, among other things, that Banbury is a communist who's trying to ruin Vice City. At the suggestion of Pablo, Moorehead kills him a "Friendly Napalm" strike.
- Chief (Jeff Steitzer) – The clichéd police chief who is initially reluctant to let the protagonist take the lead in the case but relents, providing him with "Friendly Napalm", a branded product (and respective advertising monologue) that is indicative of the direct sponsorship of many radio shows during that time.
- Announcer (J.R. Horne) – The narrator and announcer for the show. Makes a sales pitch for a Moorehead fan club affiliated with the show's sponsor, Friendly Napalm. (Napalm itself was still in its infancy during the show's purported broadcast year and was certainly not available as a consumer product.) During this promotion he mispronounces the protagonist's name, calling him Gordan Mooreland, Gerald Moorehead, George Moorecock, and Jeremy Moorehead.
The show no longer exists in 1986.
The Time Ranger
Re-run of a fictional radio hero that originally aired in 1938. The show was canceled quickly for obvious reasons.
- Time Ranger aka Ernest Keigel (Bill Lobley) – The stereotypically snarky and fast-talking Time Ranger whose penis is a time machine. When he masturbates he travels through time, ending up in a time and location where he is needed most. He cannot normally be seen and it is joked that he is a eunuch because of his "time machine's" minuscule composure.
- Trixie Lane (Jen Cohn) - The Time Ranger's sometimes lover (when he's intoxicated).
- Richard (Chris Ferrante) – The Time Ranger meets this boisterous child first in the episode, when he travels back to the year 1175. The child, presumably a son of a noblewoman from medieval England, explains that in his time period, "dragons roam the land, and we are also infested with clichés." He also listens as the Time Ranger embarks on a monologue describing the future.
- Mother (Kate Greer) – Richard's uptight mother, and presumably a noblewoman. She seems to be very sexually engaged with the king. She states that the "plague" has already happened, though the actual Black Death would not happen for another 200 years (Although this could be a prod at the cliché of the plague). Despite apparently living in medieval England, both Richard and his mother have poorly concealed American accents.
- Mademoiselle (Jen Cohn) – A shrill aristocratic woman that the Time Ranger meets when he ends up in a stable after travelling to France during its revolutionary period. Her obsession with the phrase "off with your head" implies that she could be a caricature of Marie Antoinette. The episode ends on a suspenseful note, with the Time Ranger engaging in mammary intercourse with the Mademoiselle as the rebelling peasants try to charge the door of the stable.
- Announcer (Anthony Cumia) – Sounds a little bit like the Time Ranger, and narrates the opening, closing and interludes.
The show no longer exists in 1986
Like its predecessors, the radio of Vice City Stories provides a distinct array of commercials satirizing products as well as different aspects of 1980s culture. Many of these commercials contain significant amounts of expletives. Listed in Alphabetical order:
- Ammu-Nation (Ron Reeve) – Grand Theft Auto's famous gun chain is back with another commercial for "protecting your kids rights." This time it advertises a children-oriented Saturday safety seminar as well as potentially lethal ways to determine if a gun is loaded, and even comes with its own mascot, Derek the Dodo.
- Angel and the Knight – Takes on popular police/crime-fighting shows of the day with unlikely pairings and daredevil, physically impossible stunts (e.g. a helicopter that can dive underwater). It is heard in The Wave 103 commercial that Bonnie Knight does oral sex to some guy, which is Pedro, the drug lord from New World Order on VCPR, for information. Vice City, the game's predecessor, has this shows spin-off, Yuppie & The Alien.
- Athena 200's (Jay Wright) – A cigarette that "lasts longer than he does", the 200s referring to its extra length as compared to regular "100s." Possibly a parody of the female-oriented marketing of Virginia Slims. The slogan "The Pleasure is Back" used in this commercial also appeared in ads for Barclay cigarettes in the 1980s.This ad also air in VCFL and Espantoso.
- The Barfs – A spoof of Bratz or the Smurfs and the idea that they promote communism as well as gross-out cartoon specials of the day, and a very patriotic Saturday morning cartoon series. In sharp contrast to the values of the Smurfs, the Barfs "hate sharing" and each possess a firearm. One version of the commercial even lampoons the European (i.e. non-American) origin of the Smurfs as well as their values, referring to them as purple instead of blue. Each Barf is also a cultural stereotype representing the 1980s; the gimp suit-clad "Fruity Barf" ironically seem to be the most popular.
- Camus Jeans – A faux-philosophical jeans brand which seems to relate to cameltoe.
- Double Ought Logger – A new variant of a beer product originally aired in San Andreas, available here in a "shotgun can". This is a reference to the practise of making a second hole in the can so that the beer can more rapidly exit into a drinker's mouth.
- Evacuator (Brian Thomas, Randy Pearlstein) – Part 1 of a movie series whose second part "Exploder" premiered in the first Vice City game, and eventual finale "Special Needs Cop" premiered in San Andreas. Parodies trigger-happy patriotic action movies of the 1980s with muscle-bound heroes, such as Rambo and Commando. It also comes with its own action figure play set, though many figures and props are "sold separately", also a play on the merchandising of G.I. Joe action figures of the time, or possibly the short-lived Rambo toy line.
- Fast-Forward Audio (Alex Anthony) – Advertises in-car audio technology considered long-since obsolete today, as the "future". Has two different commercials, one for cassette tapes and one for radios with only a few channels of graphic equalization.
- Fruit LC – A parody of the original Apple Macintosh (also released in 1984) down to its exorbitant price tag (twice that of the original Mac), though the Macintosh LC was a real model released in 1990. The commercial particularly satirizes Ridley Scott's famous Super Bowl commercial.
- Imponte Insurrection Turbo XRZ5 X-2 – A car advertisement for a V8-powered front wheel drive "chick magnet." The confusingly long trim-line is a parody of the rear-wheel-drive Merkur XR4Ti, released about the same time, though a billboard for the car in Little Havana shows the car's shape is similar to that of a first-generation Mazda RX-7. This is the first advertisement for a car in-game that is not a Maibatsu, though this game is set in an era where Japanese cars had yet to dominate the market. This car could also be the Polaris V8.
- Jock Cranley – An anti-vice advertisement akin to the "Just Say No" campaign, with an eerily similar slogan: "Just say...not for me." In a twist, the campaign is sponsored by an organization called Consider Our Kids Everyday, continuing a GTA tradition of provocatively named morals organizations. Cranley is a high-flying and formerly decadent action star who is depicted on the VCS website as always wearing a helmet, much like Top Gear's Stig.
- Little Lacy Surprise – "Fashion underwear" for children, parodying the continuing trend of suggestive underwear for teenage girls. However, this commercial strongly implies pedophilia and even incest, something that panelist Bryony Craddock denounces on Pressing Issues. This also is a parody of Victoria's Secret and Underoos. This ad airs in Flash FM and Espantoso.
- Mallet to a Maibatsu (Jonathan Hanst) – Rails against encroaching Japanese industry, particularly large family-owned Japanese automotive manufacturers (generalized as GTA's eponymous Maibatsu), with sob stories of employees laid off from the once-glorious "American Motors." These ads particularly reflect the labor troubles that shook up the American motor industry during the 1980s due to stiff competition from Japanese companies such as Honda and Toyota. There was a real car manufacturer named American Motors that was absorbed into Chrysler in the late 1980s due to labor troubles of its own, though similarities to the American Motors used as a model for American industry in general for this commercial might purely be coincidental. The logo for American Motors as seen on the instruction manual for the game is a red-white-and-blue torch, which is similar only to the real AMC's logo only in color scheme. The voice of the evil Japanese executive stereotype is similar to that of Dr. Chank from the Space Monkey VII commercial from Liberty City Stories.
- Push-Up – The Movie (Alex Anthony) – A clear parody of Rocky and other patriotic sports hero movies of the 1980s, based primarily on Sylvester Stallone's Rocky IV (released 1985) but featuring plot elements akin his other film, the 1987 Over the Top. The main Soviet villain is even a caricature of Rocky's famous opponent Ivan Drago.
- Release Gum – A commercial for chewing gum with special jelly filling, with references to oral sex.
- Redwood Junior – Candy cigarettes for kids, spoofing the implied subliminal marketing of tobacco products to underage customers prior to legislation, particularly the notorious Joe Camel. Redwood is a recurring cigarette brand from San Andreas, Liberty City Stories, and Grand Theft Auto IV.
- Robard's Import/Export (Peter Silvestro) – Run by the same implied-shady entrepreneur that released his dubious self-help tapes in the original Vice City. This time, the references to drugs are less subtle, as it is easy to deduce that his method of import/export is actually drug running by boat.
- Twilight Knife – A horror movie that seems to be related to Knife After Dark from the original Vice City and that parodies Friday the 13th Part 3 with the tagline "A New Dimension in Terror" and the narrator saying don't swim or shower alone which is the name of a scene from the movie(Friday the 13th).
Other brands such as Complete the Look, PetStuffers, and Synth & Son can be heard mentioned by radio hosts, and imaging voices during their blurbs.
- Removed from the European version