Wikipedia:1000 things not to write your article about

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This page is intended as humor. If you have been sent here by another user after creating an article that might qualify on the following list, you may safely tell them that they sent you to the wrong place. The place she/he/it probably wanted to send you was to Wikipedia:List of bad article ideas.

Shortcuts: WP:1000THINGS WP:NOWRITE

1000+ things not to write your article about

Many vandals and trolls roam Wikipedia. But even more create accounts and create pages about whatever they feel like, without even looking at any of the Wikipedia policies and guidelines. This list is for new users and (hopefully) people looking to create a page about any of these things. Anyone can add to this list, as long it is a reasonable item. Remember to sign your name if you add an item.

[edit] Contributors

123Pie (talk · contribs)
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Dark Halo (talk · contribs)
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Epilogued (talk · contribs)
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Escape Artist Swyer (talk · contribs)
Extr3me (talk · contribs)
Fishamaphone (talk · contribs)
Florentino floro (talk · contribs)
Former Jerrabomberra, NSW, Australia resident (talk · contribs)
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Hailey C. Shannon (talk · contribs)
Halosean (talk · contribs)
HelPinG_ArtIcleS (talk · contribs) 663, 664, 665
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lilpuppy23
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Pippin the Mercury (talk · contribs)
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TenPoundHammer (talk · contribs) and his otters
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Uncle Pludge (talk · contribs)
UnicornTapestry (talk · contribs), too cool
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Vixen525 (talk · contribs) and her dog
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[edit] The list

Please bear in mind that vulgar, insensitive or rude comments written below will result in action taken.

The former first rule of Wikipedia is that you do not write about Fight Club
Barry White's upper lip.
When the cows won the war.
When the carrots took over the army.
Your local shop in the middle of nowhere.
The average air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow.
That dirt road that runs behind your house.
A club that you formed yesterday that has exactly two members.
Stuff that you like.
Your pet.
1,000,000 reasons to hate The Simpsons
Something or someone that you work for.
Your science fair project.
The time you walked under a ladder pouring salt over a black cat whilst entering a mirror-breaking contest.
How much you hate your teachers/friends/parents/pets/significant other.
Your invention that you're going to make when you're 22.
Another Wikipedian, unless they're actually notable.
Your secret recipe.
Your father's mother's brother's cousin's uncle's nephew's former roommate.
What colour your underwear is.
The new word you made up yesterday.
Something that's not even real.
Games that you play.
A lame celebrity who already has a surprisingly good article. The search button is there for a reason.
The vandal you admire.
Your last sockpuppet.
The admin who blocked your last sockpuppet.
Your ex.
Your ex's new boy/girlfriend.
Notable things. Or was that non-notable things?
Your love affair with South Park's Eric Cartman.
Pokémon, Vice-presidents who have shot people, or Natasha Demkina, the Russian girl who claims to have X-ray vision.
Jimbo Wales.
Your growing love for Hannah Montana.
Your growing hate for Hannah Montana.
Your sibling.
Your favorite Stephen King character.
Your favorite High School Musical character.
Your mother-in-law.
Your vacation to Chicago, Illinois.
That time you were robbed.
42.
Your local pool that nobody knows about.
Your karate status.
Your crappy lego model.
Your awkward moment.
Your paranormal experience.
Your life.
The film your friend made.
The extras in that film.
Your street.
Your church.
Your book.
Your professor.
The principal who suspended you for doing something at school you shouldn't have done (like vandalizing Wikipedia on a school computer).
The tree in your backyard .
The roundabout at the end of your street.
Your boyfriend's girlfriend's boyfriend.
How yummy that sandwich you just finished was.
Your company.
Your school.
Your teachers.
Elephants (but only if your name is Stephen Colbert).
Your ridiculously long 300-page iPhone bill.
Desmond Dekker.
That time you won a radio contest.
The huge rock in your backyard.
Your cute poodle.
Your failed math test.
Your rejection on American Idol.
Your birthday.
How long it took you to get a Wii.
How long it took you to get Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
Your trip to a Red Sox game.
That time you saw a Lamborghini, or a Ferrari. or a Bentley, or any other car none of us will be touring in any time soon.
ur txting addiction.
That time you got in a fight with your best friend (who you shouldn't write an article about!!).
Your unpaid parking tickets
Pictures of your cat
Especialy if it's a LOL cat
Your school magazine
Your shopping center
Your bike
Your car
Your friend's book
Your mum
Your artworks
A copy of an existing article under a slightly different title. Really. We're not THAT stupid.
The novel you haven't published.
Characters from the novel you haven't published.
The novel you have published.
100 Characters from the novel you have published.
The "high communist cabal" in your school
The growing tensions between you and the teacher who was mad at you for winning the actual position on the actual lawmaking body over someone related to them, so organized the high communist cabal with your principal and left it in the hands of a "trusted" person, who ended up leaking everything they say at their communist cabal meetings to you.
A premonition you had of the future.
Films that have been announced, but don't actually exist.
Your gaming team.
Your secret plans to kidnap Hulk Hogan.
The benefits of chewing with your mouth closed.
A proposal to your girlfriend.
What a rejected proposal felt like.
Remember rules 1, 2 and 3
Kazimierz Pułaski's mom
Times when you wake up behind an alley garbage can with your pants down.
Help regarding your quest to find that hairy, fat, naked, bald guy who was following you on his bike at night.
Simon Magniti's cat.
High School Musical.
How depressing your life is.
Your Own Blog (also don't add personal blogs in external links).
About "The day your best friend crapped him/her self"
And Never "That was the best time of my life!"
That awesome song by an American Idol contestant.
How dragons are real because you saw this special on Animal Planet!
Your favorite food
Your favorite new ice cream
Your animal rights campaigns or what you learned from any website run by PETA.
Your version of film company logos.
The animated specials Cartoon All-Stars 2000's and Mickey Mouse in a find Ariel, Lilo, and Aladdin.
The haunted house in your neighborhood.
That one time you had sex.
Even if it was incest.
Even if the act was with a long dead notable person and the earth moved for them.
Your amazing talent to play jingle bells on the piano with your nose.
That one time you played chess with a 10 year old. And actually won!
Your personal take on crop circles (even if you visited and explored each and every one of them and have genuine pictures to display).
That one time you sang or played an instrument for school/college/local club, even if you were highly appreciated. Till the time you have sold a million copies of your album or have toured as a guest with an established band/person, don't create an article!
That one time you saw Carmen Electra in the Mall's parking lot. Even if she looked/smiled/waved at you.
That Ringling Brothers Circus, which went defunct 80 years ago, abuses animals.
Zac Efron and how he is so totally hot.
Zac Efron and how he is so totally not hot.
How George W. Bush can't fix the world because the democrats won't get out of his way.
How Barack Obama will destroy it.
How Hillary Clinton will mess it up a bit more.
Dribbling and how it is annoying.
Why Jesse McCartney is hot.
Why Jesse McCartney is not hot.
The color of your carpet.
Aliens and how they abducted you.
The time you beat a girl.
The time a girl beat you.
The time you got hit in the nuts.
The time the nuts hit you.
A countdown to 1/20/09. Please. This has been done before.
How Europeans seeing such an article will cry "there's no 20th month".
A how-to about intercourse (oh, cum on!)
The game which you just lost.
Your mom
Somebody else's mom
Your mother's mom
The stupid computer you're editing on which took you ten days to get it to Wikipedia (even if the OS is from MS).
Megan Duger and the supposed American Girl doll being made of her.
Your Breakfast
Your lunch
Your bed
The "for sale" sign outside your neighbor's house
How the cashier lady in McDonalds was rude to you.
How sad you are.
The guide to find Spiderwick's guide in the library.
Your insecurities about the size of your penis.
How you got a boner the first time you saw the video for Umbrella by Rihanna.
Your quest to find some one who does not believe size matters.
How you're mad because the popular girls all have a date to the dance and you don't because you're ugly!
How you feel like no one cares about you or understands you.
How you're mad at your teacher for giving you an F in her class.
How you're mad at your teacher for not giving you an F after her class.
The police officer who arrested you.
The judge who made not editing Wikipedia a condition of your probation, unless the judge is independently notable.
The squirrel that's jumping around in your backyard now.
How you got in a hot argument with your teacher about whether Wikipedia is reliable or not.
How much you hate your little brother/sister.
How you think all poodles look better painted pink.
How you punched that dragon so hard he breathed fire all over the world and caused global warming.
How you think Wikipedia is stupid, unreliable, inconsistent, and dumb.
How any company is evil because they test on animals.
How the Iditarod was just created to abuse and kill puppies, and how Wikipedia and Anchorage Daily News are biased and written by animal abusers.
How all the Preps are stupid and ran away when you scared them!
How Hot Topic is cool and Abercrombie sucks.
That Fall Out Boy is Heavy Metal.
The time one of the Jonas Brothers kissed you.
Especially if you're male.
How your penis is larger than everyone else's.
How you are mad at Proactiv acne creme for not working and you still have a bad acne problem.
How you are now searching for a new cure for acne.
That time you thought you saw Rosie O'Donnell, when in reality it was just a cow that got loose.
Bigfoot
Why you're mad at your mom.
Why you believe that the entire world is out to get you.
The time you and your friends had a Warheads eating contest and how you won and afterwards your tongue hurt because you ate too many.
The dump you took last night that you SWEAR was the biggest ever!
How much you PWN on Call of Duty 4:Modern Warfare.
How its unfair you get pwned on Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.
The one time you got drunk and you and your best friend fooled around.
How much you enjoyed the time you and your best friend fooled around.
Odd phenomenons you see occur.
When your contributions are deleted.
When you chased down Count Chocula with a really stupid FBI agent .
Inuyasha. Its F'ing Dragon Ball Z for girls!!
That time you and your cousin, brother, and friend got stoned and painted your garage pink and green and purple with hippie designs and somehow convinced your mother that you were sober when it happened.
What he said.
That one time at band camp.
How cranberry juice leaves that dry aftertaste in your mouth.
The characters that are not in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
Why you think Prince William is cuter than Prince Harry, or the other way around.
Your HUGE collection of [insert thing here], unless you have found a place in the Guinness Book of World Records.
Robot Women.
The name of the planet so mysterious that people who have heard it's name, dare not speak it.
How funny Jim Carrey is.
How cool Vin Diesel is.
Even if they insist on humiliating themselves with Disney movies.
How much Disney preys on the lack of intelligence in children and how easily entertained they are, however true or evil
How hot that chick from Ultraviolet is. No she didn't wink at you.
The kid sitting next to you at school with the questionable sexual preference who you saw Google "straight".
How bad you have to pee.
What color you just painted your fingernails.
That time you punched your acne-covered friend and a pimple exploded on your hand.
Barbie fashion designer.
The fascinating production process of pencils.
How much your pet rats smell.
How slow your computer is.
How drunk you were that time you ran into Angelina Jolie on the sidewalk.
How gay Zac Efron is.
Hobos
Seasick Steve
HIM
Your conspiracy theories about aliens, 9/11, the Kennedy Assassination, etc.
How the Jews control the world's banks.
How all Mormons are polygamists.
How you should hate Jennifer Lopez because she wears fur.
How Burberry slaughters bunnies and sheep and is worn by ugly Chavs.
How our mommies and Chinese people kill cute little animals.
That Americans are fat and lazy (see Wall-E).
The fact that Barack Obama is a racist Muslim.
How Barack Obama will behead the next person who calls him a muslim, because he's NOT.
That John McCain is REALLY, REALLY old!
How you hated the new Pink Panther movie and want Peter Sellers' ghost to haunt Steve Martin.
Any useless top ten lists.
A list of 1000 things not to write your article about.
How Doo-Wop music from the 1950s and early 1960s should be listened to by today's kids instead of that meaningless noise they call music.
That kid who sat behind John Lennon in Biology class.
That small lump of green putty you found in your armpit.
What you do at night. We really don't want to know.
The fact that your neighbor's dog barks constantly.
The fact that your grandma is so old she sat behind Jesus in the 3rd grade.
A list of Yo' Momma! jokes. Please, those are SO old.
A list of redneck jokes.
A list of blonde jokes. Those are old too.
Why I can't get that stain out of my bedsheets.
That Avatar, Yoko Ono, and Teen Titans are anime.
How your family sucks, is not smart, is too strict, etc.
How most people can't tell the difference between etc. and ECT.
Why you can not get a girlfriend.
How rap really, really, really sucks and rock rules all.
Why Wikipedia is so good.
Why Wikipedia is so bad.
Your idea why Wikipedia was even invented.
Stories about yourself.
How PS3 is so PWNed by Xbox 360.
Why you failed the math quiz on the February 24, 2054.
The fact that USERNAME has no life.
The reason you hate Democrats.
The reason you hate Republicans.
The reason you hate politics.
The reason you like/hate the number '7'.
The reason you like/hate Bungie.
The reason you like/hate Halo: Combat Evolved.
The reason you like/hate Halo 2.
The reason you like/hate Halo 3.
The fact you LOVE Pimps at Sea.
The fact you HATE Pimps at Sea.
The fact that you absolutely love Vampire Weekend!
How rich you are.
How poor you are.
How much of a beggarman/thief you are.
Your trip to Jamaica, mon!
Why you Love/Hate Hillary Clinton.
What you ate for breakfast three weeks ago.
What your friend ate for breakfast three weeks ago.
What friend you ate for breakfast three weeks ago.
Your plans to take over the world.
Your plans to rob a bank
The bank you're planning on robbing
The bank you're not planning on robbing
How O.J. Simpson really didn't do it (even though he did)
How O.J. Simpson really did do it (even though he didn't)
How rich you're going to be five years from now
About why 2 + 2 should equal 13
How stupid this page is
How you could come up with so many better things to put on this page
That time you went cow tipping.
Your truck
Your farm
How big your TV is.
The color of your eyes
The color of your hair
The new color of your hair
The new color of Dennis Rodman's hair
That one time you bought lottery tickets and got the wrong numbers for the wrong tickets an would of ended up winning millions, starting your own company, getting even richer, marrying a supermodel, going bankrupt, having your wife leave you for your dad, and ended up getting shot.
How you dyed your hair
How much you love/hate Russia
About how you dyed your hair again
The wonderful world of cheese
How you dyed your hair for the 12th time this week
How they can't find Osama Bin Laden
How they can't find Waldo
How you can't find Barack Obama
Quit dying your hair
When you think the world is going to end
Your socks
What color mirrors are
How your little sister won't stop complaining she wants to go outside
How your pet cat won't stop jumping up on your lap when you're trying to type stuff on Wikipedia
Which way the wind is blowing today
How the word Schnifilpufin isn't a real word
Illegal immigrants and how they're ruining the United States
A hole you dug.
What you are going to put in the hole you dug.
How nobody cares about the hole you dug or what you're going to put in it.
How mad you are that nobody cares about the hole you dug or what you're going to put in it.
What you're going to do to the people who don't care about the hole you dug or what you're going to put in it.
What you did to the people who didn't care about the hole you dug or what you were going to put in it.
How bad it was in jail for doing what you did to those people who didn't care about the hole you dug or what you're going to put in it.
How stupid the last seven things are.
How mad you are about the last seven things written.
How you thought I was going to do that again.
how you are so glad that i'm not doing it again
There were two "e"s in rule
How aliens will one day rule the world
Why we should send the aliens back to Mexico
Why we should send the aliens back to Skaro
That your power went out
Stuff you are allergic to
Stuff your friends are allergic to.
Fried chicken and how good it tastes.
Why Barack Obama likes fried chicken
Watermelon and how good it tastes.
Anything saying lies about how fried chicken and watermelon don't taste good.
How your favorite sandwich filling is fried chicken and watermelon.
The Number 4
Why the number 14 is the greatest number ever
Why April is the greatest month ever.
Why April 14 is the greatest day ever.
Why the triangle is the best color ever.
Why red is the best shape ever.
Your theory on why water is wet and not dry like dry things but is wet like wet things because it is wet and wet is not dry but is wet as in wet. WET!
That time you saw the Loch Ness Monster.
That time you rode the Loch Ness Monster.
ɸ
The person who is stalking you
The person who keeps watching you
The person you are watching
Random threats you make to people
The time that the old man across the street stole your ball
The time that you ate a hamburger and farted for days
Your plans for world domination
What kind of toothpaste you use.
The color of the toothpaste you use.
What flavor your toothpaste is.
How celebrities need to wear underwear.
How much money you have in your wallet right now.
Bill Clinton and all the various things he has done in the Oval Office.
Hillary Clinton and all the things she has apparently forgiven Bill for doing in the Oval office.
Really big words that nobody knows what they mean.
Your obsession with editing Wikipedia.
How the world/Wikipedia will implode/explode the instant it does
How crappy this list is.
Anything else no-one knows about.
Fake motels (i.e. The Trucker's Inn in Holmdel, New Jersey)
Why the *bleep* you're reading this.
How long it took to write this.
How 68 can destroy the universe.
And so can 86. Or can it? No.
How your dog truly ate your homework and no one believed you.
Hamilton's restaraunt (yeah, I spelt that completely wrong. Or did I?) in Edinburgh
a non-existent froogle or muppet (whatever a froogle is)
h0w 1337 y0u @r3
Nothing at all! Nothing at all!
The time you were banned from the computer for 20 minutes and how outrageously angry you were that you couldn't finish writi. . .
That time your best friend went Jewish for a day
The huge annoying campervan that is a tremendous eyesore right outside your house
How cool Adriana Dulmage and Ismail Hasaballa are.
How Boronica Metaliaj is a huge turn on.
The fastest guitarist in the world
If you don't remember go check it.
The country you made up.
That one time when you like totally broke a nail!
How this list is never going to be finished.
Really, really, really big numbers.
The color of electricity
What the wind looks like
Nothing
Your poetry
How do we know that blue is really blue?
Why airline food is so bad.
Why Lost is the best/worst show ever.
The game.
Why you just lost the game.
Why you're angry because you just lost the game.
Why thirty minutes isn't enough time to spread the game.
How you're going to make sure you make all of your friends lose the game.
Your not so fool-proof plan to make the whole world finally lose the game so that the game would be over.
Where in the world Carmen Sandiego really is.
Samantha's love for climaxing over Tommy Toolshed and how perfectly scenic Alex's hair is.
Why the sky is blue, not purple, green, turquoise, or off-white.
Why you can't love on yourself
Repeating stuff and making multiple articles.
How bad Girl Scout cookies are.
Rumors you hear about that one guy/gal you've never heard of in class or at the mall or in the middle of nowhere.
The T-man Show
How much you like/hate some show or thing.
sentence fragments.
How you JUST NOTICED that Wikipedia is a project by Wikimedia and that it's powered by MediaWiki
Your dog (did someone already say that?)
Your love for the number 12
Your high score in Lunar Jetman
The rumors of people thinking you're God
How bored you must have been to read all this way down the list.
How long you took to read all the way down this list.
Your list of scrabble vocabulary: words like "equiponderating".
The number before ∞
Pokemon Skuntank
Why you are reading this list right now
Whether Gerard Way is "gay" minus "erardw"
Your growing love/concern for the big tubby girl who lives in a house made of twigs.
1,000 reasons to love The Simpsons
Your love/hate for the girl at the till of the newsagents.
That crazy old lady who always thinks the world will end in 30 seconds.
Writing multiple articles about one thing (or here on this list. ahem).
Why the word "ahem" should be in Webster's Dictionary.
How the word "ahem" is already in Webster's Dictionary.
The fact that there's really very little relevant information and the fact that I'm doing very little for that fact bumbling about things completely irrelevant to this list/article.
Your enemies
Why/How China will conquer the world in 10-25 years.
Officer Nordberg
Corn
Your cat
Egg men
Your love of coffee
Cat ladies and their relation to Toxoplasma gondii
The fact that if you actually bothered reading this article thoroughly then maybe you'd actually find something relevant.
Stupid things like this.
How playing bloody knuckles always leaves your hands hurting
How the PlayStation 3 is the future of all gaming or computer and will destroy Xbox
How the Wii will PWN them both.
Your grief over the passing of your parents, grandmother, hermit crab, etc,...
Your wish to kill everybody who edited this page
How you can't find anything funny enough to write on this page
1000 things not to write your article about
2000 things not to write your article about
Infinite things not to write your article about.
əƏåÅÅøÆ
Your secret love for Patti Smith, and how you want to do her on a giant field of clovers, while smoking a joint.
Any thing that you, as an annoying 15 year old boy, would consider fun.
Anything which you thought of. ANYTHING.
How you pick your nose.
The noises inside your head.
Your views on the Iraq War, the War in Afghanistan or the Clone Wars.
The Doppler effect.
An unimportant event that happens at your school.
How aliens have nuclear missiles in Antarctica.
Me
You
Them
How Macs are better than PCs.
The old man that lives across the street.
That your friends pretend to be Asian rappers.
The political message of Dr. Seuss.
Why you're still typing.
What time it is.
The world.
The day you ate glue.
Wikipedia in general.
The anatomy of a paper airplane.
How your day was.
What your BFF said on MSN.
How March of the Penguins promoted the Colonization of Mars.
The Drew Carey Show
Don King's crazy hair
How you're a big kid now.
That song from Rocky.
How Geox breathes!
Hot Pockets
A random song you wrote.
Iron Eagle, and why it's the best/worst movie ever!
How Red Bull didn't give you wings.
List of 1000 unverifiable facts.^{[citation needed]}
How comfortable your trouser pockets are
How you wasted a minute on writing useless facts.
How bad spelling affects globabl warming.
abOuT SayInG ThAt YoU HavE PoeTiC LiCencE!
Chain letters. Please don't read this. You will get a curse causing your mother to die in 4 hours. BAM, You're cursed! The only way to get rid of the curse is to post it in 47 articles, or you'll have a DEAD MOMMY.
Having everything clickable.
Why the article on References has a lack of citations, according the page itself.
How you just got something for your birthday.
The basic structure of a sandwich.
Your relatives.
Your MySpace/Facebook page and how awesome it is.
How Napoleon Dynamite influenced your taking part in fascist rallies.
Your visit to Italy.
The song you're listening to.
How you made the 500th edit to this page!
The song your friend is listening to.
The reason why you hate your friend.
Why you ended up having sex last night with your friend.
And the long conversation you had when you were drunk even though you never touched beer in your life.
How DukeVampire was able to add 6 things to "The song you're listening to" including this one.
The reason why DukeVampireforgot to make his userpage.
The reason why you have a gay relationship with that random guy across the street.
How the hell DukeVampire was able to go on and on about stuff.
This list
How much time you spent reading this list
How much time you spent editing this list
WORLD OF WARCRAFT!
How to manipulate the fonts to make your text look more important
How funny your Youtube video is.
Wondering why everybody is saying your Youtube video isn't funny.
Why Ernest Saves Christmas should've won that Oscar.
Your growing concerns on how the economy is being affected by three-legged dogs.
Why you love three legged dogs.
Why you love three legged people.
What you plan to do on March 31, 2015, no matter how awesome it is.
What it looks like underneath your underwear.
The practical you did in sex education at school.
The time your granny fell down the stairs.
Including links that are completely offtopic.
The first time in 94 years that you've managed to count to 4.
How cake is better than pie. "ME, NO LIKEY PIE!"
The time your PS2 exploded.
How Homer Simpson managed to fit out of his mom's belly.
The bird is bright. The bird is beautiful. The bird is yummy.
How naughty Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus are together.
The time your girlfriend dumped you after you got plastic surgery.
How you are the best TTCer, YouTuber, and Wikipedia-er.
The time Toontown gave you the blue screen of death for throwing a pie.
How OJ Simpson got away with murder, then wrote a book about it.
How Bill Clinton got away with lying, then wrote a book about it.
The time you were raped.
The time you raped someone.
da tYm eoo pAhsed yeOur SpehLin TehSt.
Classmates and schoolmates known as the DotA boys
The time when your favorite DJ/Radio personality said asshole uncensored on-air
Andi Manzano
How a gay DJ, whose radio name is similar to an evil monkey (see this list, is responsible for ratings death.
Grace Lee's 36D cup size
Anything that involves Foe tha Love of $.
The contents of your Friendster, MySpace, or Facebook account.
The time your friend tripped on their face down the stairs into the Hoover.
The real meaning of maracas.
Repeating normal phrases. Repeating normal phrases. Repeating normal phrases. Repeating normal phrases. Repeating normal phrases. Repeating normal phrases.
How weird your sister smells with all that perfume.
How the Dandy rocks more than the Beano.
What cow piss tastes like.
What a banana does before you peel it's skin.
Why a banana is proof that God exists.
The number after this.
The big birthday party you had after becoming 600 years old.
One skin, two skin, three skin, four...
The big blue screen with white writing that keeps coming up every time you use LimeWire.
A cow goes moo.
How you're the best for having 100 laff points on Toontown and having all noobs adoring you, making you a noob yourself.
The difference between a "noob" and a "nob".
The time you went on Wikipedia and discovered the 'Edit' button.
Your favorite fairy tale.
Your comfy bed.
How brilliant it feels with another boy/girl naked in your bed.
Random gibberish like jsdnsfjklajgkjaklgjkdltkriusifkea;ltklwjkfldmgklskgl!!.
Why Dumbledore likes stripping.
How funny Neil Cicierega's videos are.
The time your account was terminated on Runescape for telling a mod to, "F*** your twanger."
Why Mickey Mouse likes small children.
The TV show that you watch all the time when your sleeping, but not in the real world because it doesn't exist.
Oink
Blobber pie
The time you decided to do a poo, but it missed the toilet, so you had to eat it to hide it.
The time the Teletubbies thought the "Noo Noo" was a vacuum cleaner.
Why Neville Longbottom is not a potato, even though he is a butternut squash.
Why Cookie Monster is in love with Stephen Colbert.
The time you were on camp as a kid and you compared the size of your penis with everyone else's.
Why your mom's Apple Pie is better than everyone else's.
The time the book you wrote was rejected after its very original title and plot.
Your delicious beard.
What you have lost
Your smelly but somehow delicious feet.
Your tiny penis that won't grow
Anything that qualifies for WP:CSD
How sunburns tell stories like, "Hey that guy likes V-necks,..."
A list of email addresses that send you spam.
Darth Vader's love life.
That time you hacked the school computers and looked at pornography.
The time you met that hot celebrity who kissed you.
How fat Britney Spears is.
How hot your teacher is.
The first rule of wikipedia is... ACK! What do you mean that's already been said a looong time ago!?
How you wish your mama was thinner.
How you wish your mom's friend's mother's cousin's stepbrother's fat Great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother that is soooooooooooooo old that she lives in your house, would just die,... or at least lose a few hundred pounds!
How you are so awesome.
How pie is awesome.
How your mom is awesome.
How your mom's pie is awesome.
How your mom's pie's mother should be outlawed.
How you believe Hillery Clinton should die of ugliness (or cameras falling on her).
How your life really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really sucks.
How Suicide is a great alternative energy source.
How retirement is rhetorical.
How the answer to life is actually 47.
How God was made.
How Shiva destroyed the Nazis.
How Adolf Hitler was the most brilliant Dictator, after Fidel Castro, who was the worst.
How life is unfair.
How certain people in your life met terrible ends.
How your conscience hates you.
How your brother met a woodchipper and disappeared.
How your mom went to jail.
How your brother was found, and glued together with superglue.
How mass genocide is funny.
How your family believes that Massive Online Stategy Games are the way of the future.
How so-and-so is extremely awesome.
The fact that we're heading for 1000 this fast and we need it to expand it all the way to 5,000 (or 10,000 if you have bigger ambitions).
The great move of certain articles to "HΑGGĘR?"
Your opinion about Crank That
Your Grandmother's opinion about Crank That
The fact that there are goody-goody-twoshoed people trying to wreck Wikipedia due to its "pornographic" content.
Lucifer
The time somebody asked you to buy a cheeseburger for them.
The time you played Real Muthaphuckkin G's out loud.
The time you shouted, "fuck the police!" when you had a traffic violation.
That song that's stuck in your head
Random numbers.
Crap and curses.
Your genitals.
Someone else's genitals.
Anything "on wheels".
The International Society of Vandals that was founded by Bobby Boulders.
A rare drawing of a man farting from the late 1800s (with the farter is smiling as he broke wind).
Why Stargate SG-1 should never have been cancelled.
How your Motorola KRZR won't work after the, "third fucking time."
How your cat looks like a lolcat. THEY'RE ALL CATS, IDIOT!
That awesome new book you're writing.
Why the hell you've read this far.
How huge your last fart was.
That time you walked up to an employee at Wal-Mart and said, in an official voice, "Code 3", and watched what happened.
How you embarrassed yourself singing karaoke.
How you embarrassed everyone else singing karaoke.
The time you sat on a whoopee cushion.
The time your boyfriend/girlfriend sat on a whoopee cushion.
How you didn't get into college.
How you weren't potty trained, and frequently said bad words, so you didn't get to kindergarten.
How on Earth you couldn't find your mansion. You were sure it had a diamond studded "8" on it.
How much you hate Encyclopedia Dramatica and what they said about your stuff on DeviantArt.
How John McCain will win the election. He's not that far behind, anyways.
Why you can be bothered to type here.
How you at one time thought you laid the biggest crap, only to find, a guy laid one the size of a football the day before.
How you read this entire list, and now you feel you're qualified to make a new entry.
Why gorillas will rule the world again.
How the Beatles will be number one again.
Cartoon characters that could take over the US presidency.
Victims of a crime (unless they give permission), as it may upset them.
The epiphany you had one day upon reading that scene in Atlas Shrugged about the mysterious cigarettes, where in you realized that smoking is in fact a metaphor for the unquenchable fire of the individual human spirit and not, as the warning labels claim, simply a method of developing lung cancer that sometimes has a buzz associated with it.
The perfect lives your electronic people in The Sims are having and how much you envy them.
How you put a Twinkie in the microwave.
Your pent-up angst and how you cut yourself at night because the knife is your friend.
How much you want to be on a game show (and all the trivia you know).
Five dollar footlooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooongs!
The kid at school who vandalized Peter Burnett's page. Check the history.
Dinosaur porn
Pi
Information that is FALSE!
Your love for Ikea and your prayers to the Ikea gods.
Aimee.C of the place called black rock, and why she isnt a reliable source
How you got a license plate with 666 on it and how you believe that you're now going to hell because of it.
Those DUMB IDIOTS that cut you off in traffic!
How much you PWN at Guitar Hero.
LOLCATS and Der Speeks
Britney Spears' derrierre
The word, "fuck"
Your views on Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
How you're from Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu, New Zealand
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
Floccinaucinihilipilification
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
chlorofluorocarbons
Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism
Honorificabilitudinitatibus
How you lost your penis to gangrene because you believed that dude that told you a rubber band was just as effective as a condom.
GarageBand
Chrononhotonthologos
How you've been to Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg, Massachusetts.
How you're from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Wales.
How you're from Muckanaghederdauhaulia, Ireland.
Newtownmountkennedy
Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft
Rinderkennzeichnungs- und Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz
What you did in Ding Dong, Texas last Saturday night.
Bitchfield
No Place
Pity Me
Brown Willy
Blubberhouses
REALLY BIG TEXT.
The Great Cornholio
What you found in the milkshake at McDonalds.
How you just found every episode of Star Trek imaginable on Youtube.
What you dream about at night.
The fact that you are 45 years old and still cry for your mommy, who lives upstairs, every night.
Your receding hairline.
How you killed off all your Sims when you told them to go make toaster pastries and now your life has no meaning.
Your crazy-right-wing cult that worships the teachings of the Teletubbies.
Hell.
How you "curled up and 'died'" in that shop over there.
Freaking lightsabers.
Your level 3,000 Jedi Consular on KotOR.
Your favorite Ctrl+Alt+Del comic.
Your cracked iPhone.
Engrish.com
Rahoi, and how much you think he sucks because you have zero sense of humor. Idiot.
Your yearbook.
How much your yearbook sucks.
How much your yearbook picture sucks.
How much your best friends' yearbook picture sucks.
How much you and your best friend bonded over your sucky yearbook pictures.
How many yearbook signatures you collected.
How you burned your yearbook in a fiery pit of death.
How you drew over your ex-boy/girl friend's picture with Magic! Marker.
the victor zulus
How you got your math license revoked.
Why Ron Paul is God and should be President.
Why Bob Barr is Jesus and should be President.
How or why anything "sucks."
A list of numbers which are always odd.
That Hillary Clinton will be the next President. It's over.
How Hillary Clinton will not be the next President, as she got owned in the primaries. It's over.
Why you're a democrat and going to vote for John McCain because you're bitter that Hillary Clinton lost the primary election.
Why you drink your urine.
Annoying German flight attendants.
Why full grown PS3s are the size of an average hippo, while PS2s are the size of a small dog, yet both systems are almost exactly the same
Why you don't change the litter in your cat's litter box.
Why your house smells because you don't change the litter in your cat's litter box.
Why you don't invite your friends over to your house because your house smells because you don't change the litter in your cat's litter box.
Why your friends are upset because you don't invite your friends over to your house because your house smells because you don't change the litter in your cat's litter box.
Why you are upset because your friends are upset because you don't invite your friends over to your house because your house smells because you don't change the litter in your cat's litter box.
Why you called in sick to work because you are upset because your friends are upset because you don't invite your friends over to your house because your house smells because you don't change the litter in your cat's litter box.
Why your boss is upset because you called in sick to work because you are upset because your friends are upset because you don't invite your friends over to your house because your house smells because you don't change the litter in your cat's litter box.
Why you were fired because your boss is upset because you called in sick to work because you are upset because your friends are upset because you don't invite your friends over to your house because your house smells because you don't change the litter in your cat's litter box.
Why you finally changed the litter in your cat's litter box.
Why that article you wrote that was deleted did not deserve to be deleted without so much as a goodbye.
Stuff that sucks by general consensus.
Badgers. Nobody likes them. Especially when they are accompanied by mushrooms and a snake.
Your pet hamster. Nobody wants to hear about it.
Frying pans
Knights who say Ni!
The band you're in (unless you're pretty much famous, then I guess you could write about yourself, but you really shouldn't).
Ginger Baker
Speculation on why most trolls can't spell, punctuate, or capitalize.
Ron Burgundy
What comes out of it.
How it goes back in.
Why it goes back in.
When it goes back in.
A list of a 1000 people who actually want to know.
A demonstration of how you can recite pi to a thousand digits from memory.
How much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Why wood chucks actually can chuck wood.
Why wood chucks would actually want to chuck wood.
How much so-and-so really likes so-and-other-so, but is a chicken for not asking so-and-other-so out.
Your definition of chicken.
Why you decided to join Wikipedia.
How you decided to join Wikipedia.
How drunk you were when you decided to join Wikipedia.
What Wikipedia is.
What Wikipedia is not
How many pints you had last night.
Fascist beliefs
How you couldn't think of anything to add to the "1000 things not to write your article about" article
Your favorite sex position
How you got a boner reading the above
How if pro is the opposite of con, then the opposite of progress must be Congress.
Britney Spears and her lack of panties.
Boobies
How much you like ]]boobies]].
Anything pertaining to boobies and your fascination with them, m'kay?
Why the Sluts of War refuse to go to your gig as you have no chooons.
Triplicating the flammability of alcohol
Reversing the polarity of the neutron flow
OMGWTFBBQ
How Buzz Lightyear got laid.
Buzz Lightyear's homosexual relationship with Sheriff Woody.
Stuff nobody cares about
Weird sex toys
Fucking, the town.
Your face
That time you swear to God you saw the face of the Virgin Mary in your Alphabet Soup.
Times when you look at semi-naked fat people.
How you almost died half an hour ago.
Children that Michael Jackson has slept with.
Where you think Waldo is hiding.
Don Alverzo's tweezers
Fictional mergers of corporations
How to overcome homosexuality
People that have slept in the Lincoln Bedroom of the White House
People that have slept in the Lincoln Bedroom of the White House with Bill Clinton
People that have slept in the Lincoln Bedroom of the White House with Michael Jackson
People that have slept in the Lincoln Bedroom of the White House with

Wikipedia:1000 things not to write your article about

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Contents

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