Wikipedia:N things not to write your article about

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This page is intended as humor, or comic relief. If you have been sent here by another user after creating an article that might qualify on the following list, you may safely tell them that they sent you to the wrong place. The place they/he/she/it probably wanted to send you was to Wikipedia:List of bad article ideas.

Shortcuts: WP:1000THINGS WP:NTHINGS WP:NOWRITE

Many vandals and trolls roam Wikipedia. But even more create accounts and create pages about whatever they feel like, without even looking at any of the Wikipedia policies and guidelines, even if their article is on how Wikipedia is missing a few puzzle pieces on its logo. This list is for new users and (hopefully) people looking to create a page about any of these things.

The list originally started as a list of, "1,000 things not to write your article about." Of course, knowing how things on Wikipedia work, we attained 1,000 entries several years ago, and continued to grow beyond 1,000, and eventually to 2,000. So we've renamed the list to, "N things not to write your article about." Those of us that originally started the list think it jumped the shark quite some time ago (either 1,000 or 2,000, depending who you are), but apparently, there are lots of people that have apparently been kidnapped by a band of crazed, hungry Hamsters that are forcing them to write various and sundry mind-numbing entries here. So, if this is the case, then feel free to add new items to the end of the list.

Keep in mind that we've all seen a gazillion entries for variants of your mom, comparisons between all of the celebrities that are popular among tween girls, reasons why you, your relatives, or someone in your class is gay, cow tipping, squirrels, reasons why you hate your geometry teacher, overly spammed memes, times you went to the bathroom, and entries about how you should be finishing some sort of school project instead of editing this page at 2:58 am. Entries about Michael Jackson are also getting a bit old, so perhaps it's best to bury his corpse before it starts to smell bad,...

The list is also monitored, and personal attacks will be swiftly removed. Editors who continue to violate Wikipedia's policies will be ~~killed and eaten~~ banned.

For those that wish to continue developing their humor writing skills elsewhere on our wonderful Wiki, check out the Department of Fun. You might also be interested in Wikipedia:Alternative outlets.

Remember to:

Avoid severe profanity (aka Things you wouldn't hear on prime time television).
Read the above guidelines on what to enter. This space is for originality, not test edits.
Mind your own business. Don't tamper with existing entries that have lasted. You can mess with your own edits.
Not edit war. If an entry doesn't fit the aforementioned criteria, it is likely to be deleted.
Add to the bottom of the list, but above the category (DO NOT add to or edit the previous complete lists of 1000; add to the last section).
Make sure stuff you put hasn't already been put down.
Have fun!

[edit] The Original List: The Stuff of Legends

The first rule of Wikipedia is that you do not write about Wikipedia.
The second rule of Wikipedia is that you do NOT write about Wikipedia.
How the cows won the war.
Your treatise on why bird droppings look like Ranch dressing.
When the carrots took over the army.
Any chemical reactions you have when you use the restroom.
Places where you itch.
Your local shop in the middle of nowhere.
The average velocity of an unladen swallow (African OR European).
That dirt road that runs behind your house.
A club that you formed yesterday that has exactly two members.
Stuff that you like.
Your pet.
1,000,000 reasons to hate The Simpsons
Something or someone that you work for.
Your science fair project.
The time you walked under a ladder pouring salt over a black cat whilst entering a mirror-breaking contest.
How much you hate your teachers/friends/parents/pets/significant other.
Your invention that you're going to make when you're 22.
Another Wikipedian, unless they're actually notable.
Your secret recipe.
Your father's mother's brother's cousin's uncle's nephew's former roommate.
The new word you made up yesterday (try Urban Dictionary instead).
Something that's not even real.
Games that you play.
A lame celebrity who already has a surprisingly good article. The search button is there for a reason.
The vandal you admire.
Your last sockpuppet.
The admin who blocked your last sockpuppet.
Your ex, or their new love interest.
Notable things. Or was that non-notable things?
Your love affair with South Park's Eric Cartman.
Pokémon, Vice-presidents who have shot people, or Natasha Demkina, the Russian girl who claims to have X-ray vision.
Jimbo Wales.
Your growing love or hatred for Hannah Montana.
Why you can't always trust links will take you where you want them to.
Your sibling.
Your favorite Stephen King character.
Your growing love for meerkats.
Your mother-in-law.
That time you were robbed.
Your vacation to Chicago, Illinois.
42.
Your local pool that nobody knows about.
Your karate status.

Your awkward moment.
Your paranormal experience.
Your life.
The film your friend made.
The extras in that film.
Your street.
Your professor.
Your strange aunt.
This line has nothing to do with the rest of the article.
The principal who suspended you for doing something at school you shouldn't have done (like vandalizing Wikipedia on a school computer).
The tree in your backyard.
The roundabout at the end of your street.
Your boyfriend's girlfriend's boyfriend.
The ingredients of and instructions to make that sandwich you just finished.
The instructions on how to sit down in a chair.
The power source for your computer that makes it run faster.
Your solution to Windows Vista's issues.
Your school or your teachers.
Elephants (but only if your name is Stephen Colbert).
Your ridiculously long 300-page iPhone bill.
Your romantic crush for Desmond Dekker.
That time you won a radio contest.
The huge rock in your backyard.
Your cute poodle.
Your failed math test.
Your rejection on American Idol.
Your birthday.
How long it took you to get a Wii.
How long it took you to get Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
Your trip to a Red Sox game.
That time you saw a Lamborghini, or a Ferrari. or a Bentley, or any other car none of us will be touring in any time soon.
UR TXT ADXN W UR BFF, JILL.
That time you got in a fight with your best friend (who you shouldn't write an article about!!).
Your unpaid parking tickets.
Pictures of your cat.
Especially if it's a LOL cat.
Your school magazine.
Your shopping center.
Your bike.
Your car.
How Windows Vista is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very stinking slow.
Your artwork.
A copy of an existing article under a slightly different title. Really. We're not THAT stupid.
The novel you haven't published.
Characters from the novel you haven't published.
The novel you have published.
100 Characters from the novel you published. You could write about some of the characters that might be in your novel, but don't be too keen. Don't add info about things that are private to the character!!!
The high communist cabal in your school.
The growing tensions between you and the teacher who was mad at you for winning the actual position on the actual lawmaking body over someone related to them, so organized the high communist cabal with your principal and left it in the hands of a "trusted" person, who ended up leaking everything they say at their communist cabal meetings to you.
A premonition you had of the future.
Films that have been announced, but don't actually exist.
Your ultimate frisbee team.
Your secret plans to kidnap Hulk Hogan.
The benefits of chewing with your mouth closed.
A proposal to your girlfriend.
What a rejected proposal felt like.
A picture of what you suspect is a ganglion cyst on you left index finger, so that you can try to get random Wikipedians to diagnose it for free.
Kazimierz Pułaski's mom.
Times when you wake up behind an alley garbage can with your pants down.
Help regarding your quest to find that hairy, fat, naked, bald guy who was following you on his bike on your way home from Neverland Ranch the other night.
Your obsession with High School Musical (or your intense dislike for it).
How depressing your life is.
Your own blog (also don't add links to personal blogs in external links sections).
About that day your best friend crapped him/her self.
Instructions for how to fix your computer.
That awesome song by an American Idol contestant.
How dragons are real because you saw this special on Animal Planet!
Your favorite food.
Your favorite new ice cream flavor.
Animal rights campaigns or what you learned from any website run by PETA.
Your version of film company logos.
Your obsession with penguins and why they should run your computer.
Why Ubuntu is way better than Windows or Mac and why Ubuntu can do everything better and faster than a PC can and why Ubuntu has more features than Windows or Mac has.
The haunted house in your neighborhood.
That one time you had sex.
Even if it was incest.
Even if the act was with a long dead notable person and the earth moved for them.
Your amazing talent to play jingle bells on the piano with your nose (I would recommend not posting this to YouTube, either, though it's probably already been done).
That chess game you won against a 10 year old child.
Your personal take on crop circles (even if you visited and explored each and every one of them and have genuine pictures to display).
That one time you sang or played an instrument for school/college/local club, even if you were highly appreciated. Until the time you have sold a million copies of your album or have toured as a guest with an established band/person, don't create an article!
That one time you saw Carmen Electra in the Mall's parking lot, and she looked/smiled/waved at you.
The animal abuse acts of the Ringling Brothers Circus, which went defunct 80 years ago.
Zac Efron and how he is, "so totally hot",... or not hot, or even gay!
The shoe that was thrown at George W. Bush.
How George W. Bush can't fix the world because the democrats won't get out of his way.
How Barack Obama will destroy it.
How Hillary Clinton will mess it up a bit more.
Dribbling and how it is annoying.
Why Jesse McCartney is hot or not.
How your latest crush has been dead for 200 years and counting.
The color of your carpet.
Aliens and how they abducted you.
The time you beat a girl by hitting her with your nuts, or that time a girl beat you by hitting you in the nuts.
Left-handed scissors.
List of all of the misconceptions about Wikipedia that you have had until now.
How many Monsters you can drink before you have a heart attack and die.
A countdown to January 20, 2009, if you're a Democrat, or a countdown to January 20, 2013, if you're a Republican.
Your obsession with Ontario.
A How To guide about intercourse, or a map of instructions on how to get to Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
The Game which you just lost.
Your mom, somebody else's mom, or your mother's mom.
How the world is going to end on December 21, 2012.
Redlinked junk.
The stupid computer you're editing on which took you ten days to get it to Wikipedia (even if the OS is from Microsoft).
Your clown car.
Your breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
Your bed, and how many different men/women have slept in it.
Crabs and the people you think have them.
The "for sale" sign outside your neighbor's house.
The cashier lady in McDonald's that was rude to you when ordering lunch today.
A list of things you found while googling yourself.
The guide to find Spiderwick's guide in the library.
Your insecurities about the size of your penis.
How you got a boner the first time you saw the video for Umbrella by Rihanna.
Your quest to find someone who does not believe that size matters AND who's not 900 years old living in another galaxy.
Why you're mad because the popular girls all have a date to the dance and you don't because you're ugly!
Your feelings that no one cares about you or understands you.
Your resentment for your teacher for giving you an F in her class (or not giving you an F in her class).
The difference between five and three.
The police officer who arrested you.
The judge who made not editing Wikipedia a condition of your probation, unless the judge is independently notable.
The squirrel that's jumping around in your backyard now.
The argument with your teacher about whether Wikipedia is reliable or not.
Your hatred for your little brother/sister.
Your plans to paint all poodles in the world pink, because they would look better that way.
That time when you punched that dragon so hard that he breathed fire all over the world and caused global warming.
Why you think Wikipedia is stupid, unreliable, inconsistent, and dumb.
How any company is evil because they test on animals.
How the Iditarod was just created so that Sarah Palin can abuse and kill puppies, and how Wikipedia and Anchorage Daily News are biased and written by liberal animal abusers that hate her.
How all the preps are stupid and ran away when you scared them!
Why Hot Topic is cool and Abercrombie sucks.
That Fall Out Boy is Heavy Metal.
The time one of the Jonas Brothers kissed you (especially if you're male).
How to make a Spam sandwich.
Your cell phone's capability to translate Klingon.
Why you are mad at Proactiv acne creme for not working and you still have a bad acne problem.
Your research into a new cure for acne.
That time you thought you saw Rosie O'Donnell, when in reality it was just a cow that got loose.
Why the Large Hadron Collider is going to end life on Earth as we know it.
Why you're mad at your mom.
Why you believe that the entire world is out to get you.
The time you and your friends had a Warheads eating contest and how you won and afterwards your tongue hurt because you ate too many.
The dump you took last night that you SWEAR was the biggest ever!
How much you PWN on Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.
How it's unfair you get pwned on Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.
That one time you got drunk and you and your best friend fooled around.
The size of your computer monitor and why it's bigger than everyone else's.
Odd phenomenon that you observe, such as Ann Coulter's Adam's apple.
Smilies :-)
When you chased down Count Chocula with a really stupid FBI agent .
Inuyasha. Its F'ing Dragon Ball Z for girls!!
That time you and your cousin, brother, and friend got stoned and painted your garage pink and green and purple with hippie designs and somehow convinced your mother that you were sober when it happened.
Utah's plans for independence and founding its own intergalactic empire.
That one time at band camp.
The dry aftertaste that Cranberry Juice leaves in your mouth.
The characters that are not in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
Why you think Prince William is cuter than Prince Harry, or the other way around.
Your HUGE collection of [insert thing here], unless you have found a place in the Guinness Book of World Records.
Robot Women.
The name of the planet so mysterious that people who have heard it's name, dare not speak it.
How funny Jim Carrey is.
How cool Vin Diesel is.
Even if they insist on humiliating themselves with Disney movies.
Disney's evil plans for world domination by preying on the lack of intelligence in children and how easily entertained they are.
How hot that chick from Ultraviolet is. No she didn't wink at you.
The kid sitting next to you at school with the questionable sexual preference who you saw Google "straight".
How bad you have to pee after drinking 42 bottles of root beer at the White House.
What color you just painted your fingernails.
That time you punched your acne-covered friend and a pimple exploded on your hand.
Barbie the fashion designer.
The fascinating production process of pencils.
How much your pet rats smell.
How slow your computer is.
How drunk you were that time you ran into Angelina Jolie on the sidewalk.
Real-life experiences with the Ghostbusters.
Your theory on how Moe was the best stooge.
HIM.
Your conspiracy theories about aliens, 9/11, the Kennedy Assassination, etc.
How the Jews control the world's banks.
How all Mormons are polygamists.
Why you should hate Jennifer Lopez because she wears fur.
How Burberry slaughters bunnies and sheep and is worn by ugly Chavs.
How our mommies and Chinese people kill cute little animals.
Why you believe all Americans are fat and lazy (see WALL-E).
The fact that Barack Obama is a racist Muslim.
A petition to impeach President Barack Obama because he won't show us his birth certificate.
A list of lawns that John McCain tells people to get off of!
Why you hated the new Pink Panther movie and want Peter Sellers' ghost to haunt Steve Martin.
Useless top ten lists.
Why you can't believe it's not butter.
How Doo-Wop music from the 1950s and early 1960s should be listened to by today's kids instead of that meaningless noise they call music.
That kid who sat behind John Lennon in Biology class.
That small lump of green putty you found in your armpit.
What you do at night. We really don't want to know.
The fact that your neighbor's dog barks constantly.
The fact that your grandmother is so old that she sat behind Jesus Christ in the third grade.
A list of Yo Momma! jokes, redneck jokes, blonde jokes, Polish jokes, or other such list of jokes we've all heard one million times or more.
Why Red Bull makes people hyperactive.
Your strange habit of shampooing your pubic hair and gluing it to your pet Furby.
Why I can't get that stain out of my bedsheets.
Your comparison of the anime of Avatar, Yoko Ono, and Teen Titans.
How your family sucks, is not smart, is too strict, etc.
How most people can't tell the difference between etc. and ECT.
Why you can not get a girlfriend.
How rap really, really, really sucks and rock rules all.
Why Wikipedia is so good or bad.
Chain vandalism.
How you once thought the world's highest-grossing film ever was GROSS!!!!!!!!!!
Stories about yourself.
How PS3 is so PWNed by Xbox 360.
Why you failed the math quiz on February 24, 2054.
The fact that USERNAME has no life.
The reason you hate Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, Greens, or <insert political party here> (or why you just hate politics in general).
Your show on your university's low-power radio station that no one listens to.
How John Lennon is Vladimir Lenin's secret love child conceived with Marilyn Monroe.
The reason you like/hate the number '7'.
The reason you like/hate Bungie.
The reason you like/hate Halo: Combat Evolved, Halo 2, or Halo 3.
Why the Pink Panther is eating your computer screen.
Why GTA4 is cool, not cool, or should be banned.
The fact you LOVE/HATE Pimps at Sea.
The fact that you absolutely love Vampire Weekend!
How rich or poor you are.
Who you voted for and why you didn't vote for the other guy.
What you did in Las Vegas, Nevada (remember, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas).
Your trip to Jamaica, mon!
Why you Love/Hate Hillary Clinton.
Hiding spots that you've used to hide from Michael Jordan, Bugs Bunny, and the blue wiggle.
What you or your friend ate for breakfast three weeks ago.
What friend you ate for breakfast three weeks ago.
Your plans to take over the world.
Your plans to rob a bank.
Your favorite Tekken 3 character.
Fan club of Ryunosuke Kikuchi (who?).
How O. J. Simpson really did or didn't do it.
The mysterious ninth planet name Zquegmumfugug that is always exactly behind the Sun which is why we don't know it exists.
How rich you're going to be five years from now.
About why 2 + 2 should equal 13.
Great culinary uses for toenails.
Reasons why various individuals have more personality and feelings than a box of rocks.
That time you went cow tipping.
Your truck.
The farm you sold to Mr. McDonald.
How big your TV is.
The new color of your eyes or hair.
The new color of Dennis Rodman's hair
Ice cream flavors that you've invented containing vegetables.
That one time you bought lottery tickets and got the wrong numbers for the wrong tickets and would have ended up winning millions, starting your own company, getting even richer, marrying a supermodel, going bankrupt, having your wife leave you for your dad, and ended up getting shot.
Forgotten classmates from your primary school and their likely whereabouts.
Forty ways of committing homicide with a single piece of chewing gum.
The wonderful world of cheese.
How they can't find Osama bin Laden, Waldo, or Barack Obama.
Why you laugh at people named Dick, even though it's not funny (except for Dick Cheney).
Dogs that you have the ability to telepathically communicate with.
How there would be no point searching for what the key unlocks, which we don't have.
How you think that Pikachu really killed your father with a wooden knife on a Saturday night when you were six months old, but Mommy Jackie said he died in a car crash, and how you miss the TARDIS and that Time Lord person, and how you seen your real father in a parallel universe, who is actually someone named Pikachu!
Your socks.
What color mirrors are.
The nephew of the owner of the sister of the mother of the goldfish of the daughter of the son of the wife of the friend of the grandma of the father of the author of a book hardly anyone's read.
How your pet cat won't stop jumping up on your lap when you're trying to type stuff on Wikipedia.
Which way the wind is blowing today.
How the word Schnifilpufin isn't a real word.
Illegal immigrants and how they're ruining the United States.
A hole you dug.
What you are going to put in the hole you dug.
The nation you invented.
The ingredients that Garth puts IN the burgers.
Bragging about why you're using a superior web browser than everyone else.
Your predictions on when Abe Vigoda is finally going to die.
Telling everyone why Best Buy's Geek Squad sucks because they found the child pornography on the computer you took in to have repaired.
Your exciting new career as a fry cook on Venus!
A list of alternative uses for a DeLorean DMC-12.
Your continued letters to Santa Claus in North Pole, Alaska, which should have been sent to Santa Claus, Indiana.
The car chase you saw in Hazard, Kentucky.
Your theories about why Paradise and Hell are both in Michigan.
How aliens will one day rule the world.
Why we should send the aliens back to Mexico.
Why we should send the aliens back to Skaro.
The reason that your power went out while you were trying to vandalize Wikipedia.
Stuff you and your friends are allergic to.
Why hot dogs come in packages of 10 and buns come in packages of 8.
Fried chicken and how good it tastes.
Barack Obama's obsession with fried chicken.
Watermelon and how good it tastes.
Where you can go to get good weed.
Your experience at the Hooters in Jugtown, Maryland.
A list of people that have changed their name to GoldenPalace.com, or have had that name tattooed somewhere on their body.
A list of 50 fun things to do in a Wal-Mart.
Your thoughts on why certain U.S. Presidents resemble chimpanzees more than others.
What is inside Britney Spears's head.
A list of people that are in need of a good UFIA.
The history of golf according to Robin Williams.
Your theory on why water is wet and not dry like dry things but is wet like wet things because it is wet and wet is not dry but is wet as in wet. WET!
That time you rode the Loch Ness Monster.
An entire article on why sugar should not be used during sex, added to the list of things to use for sex, and why it should always be placed on the list of things not to use while having sex.
The person who is stalking you.
The person you are stalking.
Your theory that dreams are actually real and are actually other dimensions or alternate realities!
Random threats you make to people.
The old man that ran across the street and stole your ball and told you to get off his lawn.
The time when you ate a hamburger and farted for days.
Your plans for world domination.
What kind of toothpaste you use.
Why you believe that Jimbo Wales is, in fact, the second coming of Jesus Christ.
Your recent trip to Lake Titicaca and why you never found any breasts, feces, or T.P. for your Bung-Hole.
Why the first name on your driver's license is B-O-L-O-G-N-A, and why the car you drive is shaped like a giant hot dog.
Your obsession with TV's Patrick Duffy.
Conspiracy theories centered around different ways to fold a dollar bill.
Why celebrities need to wear underwear.
The amount of money you have in your wallet right now.
Bill Clinton and all the various things he has done in the Oval Office.
Hillary Clinton and all the things she has apparently forgiven Bill for doing in the Oval Office.
Really big words that nobody knows what they mean.
Your obsession with editing Wikipedia.
A list of all the fun places that AIG is taking its employees on trips with your money.
Why you wish you could edit Wikipedia using a color monitor.
Anything else no one knows about.
Fake motels, such as The Trucker's Inn in Holmdel, New Jersey.
The love affair you had in a past life with Ima Hogg.
Your recent experience with smoking banana peels.
Your theories about what the internet would be like if it were invented in the People's Republic of China instead of the United States.
Your theory that Al Gore is, in fact, a secret Chinese spy.
How your dog truly ate your homework and no one believed you.
Hamilton's restaraunt (yeah, I spelt that completely wrong. Or did I?) in Edinburgh.
A non-existent froogle or muppet (whatever a froogle is).
h0w 1337 y0u @r3
Nothing at all! Nothing at all!
The time you were banned from the computer for 20 minutes and how outrageously angry you were that you couldn't finish writi. . .
That time your best friend went Jewish for a day.
The huge annoying campervan that is a tremendous eyesore right outside your house.
What Sarah Palin is going to do in four years.
Why Facebook is better than MySpace.
The fastest guitarist in the world.
Your theory on why the second derivative of Pi will have some significance in Barack Obama's presidency.
The catfight between Kate Gosselin and Octomom.
That one time when you like totally broke a nail!
Why you're going to die when this list is finally finished.
Really, really, really big numbers.
The color of electricity.
What the wind looks like.
Nothing.
Your inspirational poetry.
How do we know that blue is really blue?
Why airline food is so bad.
Why Lost is the best/worst show ever.
The game.
Why you just lost the game.
Your not so fool-proof plan to make the whole world finally lose the game so that the game would be over.
The secret base in Antarctica where they keep the second Stargate.
Why the dyslexic insomniac stayed up all night wondering if there's a dog.
What you're going to do with all the Heineken you just looted after the Hurricane in New Orleans, Louisiana.
Where in the world Carmen Sandiego really is.
Why you're dissatisfied with your man boobs.
Why the sky is blue, not purple, green, turquoise, or off-white.
Your latest addiction.
Repeating stuff and making multiple articles.
How much you love/hate Girl Scout cookies.
Rumors you hear about that one guy/gal you've never heard of in class or at the mall or in the middle of nowhere.
The T-man Show.
Your obsession with Nasal sebum.
sentence fragments
A list of how high the tallest buildings are measured in Smoot units.
Why the urinal in the men's room is talking to you.
Your love for the number 12.
Your high score in Lunar Jetman.
The rumors of people thinking you're God.
How bored you must have been to read all this way down the list.
Why Sporks are the greatest invention ever concieved!
Your list of scrabble vocabulary: words like "equiponderating".
The number before ∞.
Pokemon Skuntank.
Russia's plans to destroy the Earth.
Why you hate kittens.
Your growing love/concern for the big tubby girl who lives in a house made of twigs.
Your list of reasons why you love The Simpsons!
Your growing infatuation for French news anchorwomen.
That crazy old lady's theories about why the world will end in 30 seconds.
Writing multiple articles about one thing.
Why the word "ahem" should be in Webster's Dictionary.
How the word "ahem" is already in Webster's Dictionary.
The fact that there's really very little relevant information and the fact that I'm doing very little for that fact bumbling about things completely irrelevant to this list/article.
Your enemies.
Why/How China will conquer the world in 10-25 years.
Officer Nordberg's obsession with Jennifer 8. Lee.
Your speculation on what Jesus H. Christ's middle name is.
Your new religion and how you've been touched by His Noodly Appendage.
Egg men.
Your love of coffee.
Cat ladies and their relation to Toxoplasma gondii.
A list of Rock Paper Scissors Champions.
Stupid things like this.
Your obsession with playing the game, Bloody Knuckles, despite why it always leaves your hands hurting.
Why the PlayStation 3 is the future of all gaming or computer and will destroy Xbox!
Why the Wii will PWN them both!
Your grief over the passing of your parents, grandmother, hermit crab, etc,...
Your wish to kill everybody who edited this page.
The War on Cavities.
Wild Amish parties.
Tom Cruise's arch nemesis.
Infinite things not to write your article about.
Your church.
Your secret love for Patti Smith, and how you want to do her on a giant field of clovers, while smoking a joint.
Anything that you, as an annoying 15-year-old boy, would consider fun.
Anything which you thought of. ANYTHING.
How you pick your nose.
The noises inside your head.
Your views on the Iraq War, the War in Afghanistan or the Clone Wars.
The Doppler effect.
An unimportant event that happens at your school.
How aliens have nuclear missiles in Antarctica.
Me, You, and Them.
Your theories about what really caused the sinking of the SS Lesbian.
Stupid wars.
Why Macs are better than PCs.
How the game of Chess became a full contact sport.
Your secret desire to be an Asian rapper.
The hidden political messages of Dr. Seuss.
Why you're still typing.
What time it is.
What God would need with a Supercomputer.
The day you ate glue.
Why people from Michigan need their own special directions.
The anatomy of a paper airplane.
How your day was.
What your BFF said on MSN.
How March of the Penguins promoted the Colonization of Mars.
Your plans for celebrating Festivus.
Don King's crazy hair.
How you're a big kid now.
That song from Rocky.
How Geox breathes!
Why there is no Year zero.
A random song you wrote.
Your plans for solving the Year 10,000 problem and how you're documenting it in your TPS Reports (with the new cover sheets).
Reasons why you didn't get that last memo.
List of 1000 unverifiable facts.^{[citation needed]}
How comfortable your trouser pockets are.
Why you live in Kentucky or West Virginia today, but wish you still lived in Virginia.
Your theories about how bad spelling affects globabl warming.
Your journey back to reality.
Chain letters. If you don't add something to this list within the next two hours, you will get a curse causing your mother to die in 4 hours. BAM, You're cursed! The only way to get rid of the curse is to add another 47 items, or you'll have a DEAD MOMMY.
Having everything clickable.
Why the article on References has a lack of citations, according the page itself.
How you just got something for your birthday.
The basic structure of a sandwich.
Your relatives.
Your MySpace/Facebook page and how awesome it is. Or epic.
How Napoleon Dynamite influenced your taking part in fascist rallies.
Your visit to Italy.
The song you or your friend is listening to.
Why the Chicago Cubs still haven't won the World Series.
The reason why you love/hate your friend.
Why you ended up having sex last night with your friend.
And the long conversation you had when you were drunk even though you never touched beer in your life.
How do you consummate your love for a mermaid?
Why the Soviets drilled a hole to hell.
How everything in the world can be summed up in terms of the Big Mac.
Your mathematical proof that one plus one does and does not at the same time equal two.
Empty legal threats from your lawyers.
A list of people that have been beaten to death by the ugly stick.
Gozer's Destructor.
Short-lived cable channels.
Your World of Warcraft character.
Instructions on how to manipulate the fonts to make your text look more important.
Your boring Youtube rant.
Your infatuation with Sonya Thomas, and why you want to see her eat your hot dog.
Why Ernest Saves Christmas is the best movie ever and should've won that Oscar.
Your growing concerns on how the economy is being affected by three-legged dogs.
Why you love three legged dogs or people.
Why German cooking is work, French cooking is art, but English cooking is a disaster.
What men/women really want.
What you plan to do on March 31, 2015, no matter how awesome it is.
What it looks like underneath your underwear.
The practical you did in sex education at school.
The time your granny fell down the stairs.
Including links that are completely offtopic.
Your amazing ability to count to four.
How cake is better than pie, or pie is better than cake.
The time your PS2 exploded.
How Homer Simpson managed to fit out of his mom's belly.
Why the bird is bright, beautiful, and yummy.
How naughty Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus are together.
The time your girlfriend dumped you after you got plastic surgery.
Why you are the best person on the interwebz.
The time Toontown gave you the blue screen of death for throwing a pie.
How O. J. Simpson got away with murder, then wrote a book about it.
How Bill Clinton got away with lying, then wrote a book about it.
Your cheap thrills on a Friday night.
What total darkness looks like.
Your desire to be the first human to have sex in space.
Classmates and schoolmates known as the DotA boys.
The time when your favorite DJ/Radio personality said, "asshole", uncensored on-air.
Your attempts at producing Unobtainium.
Why we all need to rush out and buy a tin foil hat.
Grace Lee's 36D cup size.
Anything that involves Foe tha Love of $.
The contents of your Friendster, MySpace, or Facebook account.
The time your friend tripped on their face down the stairs into the Hoover (put it on YouTube instead; it's funnier there).
The real meaning of "maracas".
Repeating normal phrases. Repeating normal phrases. Repeating normal phrases. Repeating normal phrases. Repeating normal phrases. Repeating normal phrases.
How weird your sister smells with all that perfume.
How Rick Rolling changed your life.
What cow urine tastes like.
What a banana does before you peel it's skin.
Why a banana is proof that God exists.
Your club.
The big birthday party you had after becoming 600 years old.
What you want to do with your nose grease.
The big blue screen with white writing that keeps coming up every time you use LimeWire.
Your personal experience with having Maple syrup urine disease.
How you're the best for having 100 laff points on Toontown and having all noobs adoring you, making you a noob yourself.
The difference between a "noob" and a "nob".
The first time you went to Wikipedia and discovered the 'Edit' button.
Your favorite fairy tale.
Your comfy bed.
How brilliant it feels with another boy/girl naked in your bed.
Random gibberish, like jsdnsfjklajgkjaklgjkdltkriusifkea;ltklwjkfldmgklskgl, or anything that comes out of George W. Bush's mouth.
Dumbledore's strange desire to strip.
The first rule of Pillow Fight League is that you do not discuss Pillow Fight League.
The time your account was terminated on Runescape for uttering random obscenities to a moderator.
Why Mickey Mouse likes small children.
The TV show that you watch all the time when you're sleeping, but not in the real world because it doesn't exist.
The reason that there are no Tenth Symphonies.
Blubber pie
How the CIA is listening to you.
Your advertisements for Alien abduction insurance.
Why you think that Neville Longbottom is not a potato, even though he is a butternut squash.
Cookie Monster's undying love for Stephen Colbert.
The time you were on camp as a kid and you compared the size of your penis with everyone else's.
Why your mom's Apple Pie is better than everyone else's.
The time the book you wrote was rejected after its very original title and plot.
Your delicious beard.
What you have lost.
Your smelly but somehow delicious feet.
Your tiny penis that won't grow.
Anything that qualifies for WP:CSD.
How sunburns tell stories like, "Hey that guy likes V-necks,..."
A list of internet addresses that send you spam.
Darth Vader's love life.
That time you hacked the school computers and looked at pornography.
The time you met that hot celebrity who you wish had kissed you.
How fat Britney Spears is.
How hot your teacher is.
Your plans for celebrating Towel Day.
Your plans for celebrating Pi Day.
Why no one knows how to spell Acetylseryltyrosylseryliso...serine.
How awesome you are.
Bushisms that we've all heard a million times before.
Obamaisms that are not funny because President Obama is the messiah.
Why you lost when playing human chess.
Why the Legend of the Octopus has to do with the Detroit Red Wings, and not a famous mother of octuplets.
How you want Hillary Clinton to die of ugliness, or just for her pantsuit to strangle her.
How Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter and ate it, but later died of melamine poisoning.
How suicide is a great alternative energy source.
How retirement is rhetorical.
How the answer to life, the universe and everything is, in fact, 47, and was just miscalculated.
How God was made.
How Shiva destroyed the Nazis.
How Adolf Hitler was the most brilliant Dictator, after Fidel Castro, who was the worst.
How life is unfair.
How certain people in your life met terrible ends.
How your conscience hates you.
How your brother met a woodchipper and disappeared.
How your mom went to jail.
How your brother was found, and glued together with superglue.
Your experiences with your strange new hobby.
How your family believes that Massive Online Stategy Games are the way of the future.
Why you can't stop playing with your food.
Your ambitions to become an Admiral in the Great Navy of the land-locked State of Nebraska.
The great move of certain articles to "HΑGGĘR?"
Your opinion about Crank That
Your Grandmother's opinion about Crank That
A list of lame names for French Fries.
How to bake a cake that looks like Pee-wee Herman.
Why People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals doesn't want you to eat a cheeseburger.
Why you're going to eat a damn cheeseburger anyway.
The next thing that the Democrats are going to tax.
That song that's stuck in your head.
Your autistic obsession with random numbers and how it gives you the tendency to curse at everyone.
Your theories about dropping the soap in a prison shower.
The two words that Calvin Coolidge spoke during his entire Presidency!
A secret language created between you and your friends.
Anything "on wheels".
Your worship of the Patron Saint of Eunuchs.
Plans for bombing homosexuals back to the Stone Age.
Why Stargate SG-1 should never have been canceled.
Why your Motorola KRZR won't work after the, "third fucking time," that you dropped it off a cliff.
How your cat looks like a lolcat.
That awesome new book you're writing.
The new War on Emus.
How huge your last fart was.
That time you walked up to an employee at Wal-Mart and said, in an official voice, "Code 3", and watched what happened.
Your well-formed opinion on who made the best "James Bond".
How good your skills at programming are, while your skills at kissing suck.
The time you sat on a whoopee cushion.
The time your boyfriend/girlfriend sat on a whoopee cushion.
How you didn't get into college.
How you weren't potty trained, and frequently said bad words, so you didn't get to kindergarten.
How on Earth you couldn't find your mansion. You were sure it had a diamond studded "8" on it.
How much you hate Encyclopedia Dramatica and what they said about your stuff on DeviantArt.
How John McCain will win the election. He's not that far behind, anyways.
Why you can be bothered to type here.
The size of the dump you took.
How you read this entire list, and now you feel you're qualified to make a new entry.
Why gorillas will rule the world again.
How The Beatles will be number one again.
Cartoon characters that could take over the US presidency.
Victims of a crime (unless they give permission), as it may upset them.
The epiphany you had one day upon reading that scene in Atlas Shrugged about the mysterious cigarettes, where in you realized that smoking is in fact a metaphor for the unquenchable fire of the individual human spirit and not, as the warning labels claim, simply a method of developing lung cancer that sometimes has a buzz associated with it.
The perfect lives your electronic people in The Sims are having and how much you envy them.
How you put a Twinkie in the microwave.
Your pent-up angst and how you cut yourself at night because the knife is your friend.
How much you want to be on a game show (and all the trivia you know).
Five dollar footlooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooongs!
The kid at school who vandalized Peter Burnett's page.
How you wish they would bring back Execution by elephant.
Information that is FALSE!
Your love for IKEA and your prayers to the Ikea gods.
Your original emo poetry about why this makes you angry.
The license plate you got with 666 on it and how you believe that you're now going to hell because of it.
Those dumb idiots that cut you off in traffic!
How much you PWN at Guitar Hero.
LOLCATS and Der Speeks.
Britney Spears' derrière.
Why scissors should be considered lethal weapons.
Your views on Antidisestablishmentarianism.
How good Tina Fey is at impersonating Sarah Palin, and why Chuck Norris will beat both of them up!
About that one time at band camp last summer,...
Your first experience eating Hummus.
Evil DDR arrows that will haunt you forever.
Places in the world that you've seen Elvis Presley or Michael Jackson, together, after they died.
A list of strange things to do with Brie cheese.
The creatures living in your beard.
How it's not that hard to edit Wikipedia, unless of course you're a WP:VANDAL, have a WP:COI, don't follow the WP:MOS, have a personal problem with WP:JIMBO, or hate acronyms.
Your favorite song from your neighbor's garage band.
How great your first time was.
How you lost your penis to gangrene because you believed that dude that told you a rubber band was just as effective as a condom.
Your recent vacation to Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg, Massachusetts.
A treatise on whether Donald Duck can kick Mickey Mouse's butt.
Your computer's evil plans to destroy you, hijack the internet, and take over the world.
A stub about helping wikipedia, "expand this stub about stub expanding".
Your secret love affair with your favorite Marx Brother.
Your obsession with the word "obsession".
What you did in Ding Dong, Texas last Saturday night.
A list of lists of jokes.
The most popular thing to do in and around Pee Pee Creek.
How to make a cat float (you need ice cream, root beer, and a cat!).
How much better black is than any other color because it's not a real color.
Why being a dyslexic nazi would confuse you.
Your plans on solving the Middle East Crisis by merging Pakistan and Iran into a country called "Iranistan"!
Why life is like a box of chocolates.
What you found in your milkshake at McDonald's.
How you just found every episode of Star Trek imaginable on YouTube.
What you dream about at night.
The fact that you are 45 years old and still cry for your mommy, who lives upstairs, every night.
Your receding hairline.
How you killed off all your Sims when you told them to go make toaster pastries and now your life has no meaning.
Your crazy-right-wing cult that worships the teachings of the Teletubbies.
Your trip to Hell.
How you "curled up and 'died'" in that shop over there.
Freaking lightsabers.
Your level 3,000 Jedi Consular on KotOR.
Your favorite Ctrl+Alt+Del comic.
Your cracked iPhone.
Adding external links to Engrish.com.
Why you injured yourself taking a dump.
Your yearbook and how much it sucks.
How much your best friends' yearbook picture sucks.
That speck of dust on the third door of car number 1346 of the District Line.
A list of incidences of public urination on the statue of Vladimir Lenin in Red Square.
Things that confuse you.
How this list jumped the shark at #1.
How you drew over your ex-boy/girl friend's picture with Magic! Marker.
Your imaginary alien friend Hubert.
How you got your math license revoked.
Why Ron Paul is God and should be President.
Why Bob Barr is Jesus and should be President.
How or why anything "sucks."
A list of numbers which are always odd.
Your obsession for Panda pornography.
How Hillary Clinton will not be the next President, as she got owned in the primaries. It's over.
Why you're a democrat and going to vote for John McCain because you're bitter that Hillary Clinton lost the primary election.
Why you drink your urine.
Annoying German flight attendants.
Why full grown PS3s are the size of an average hippo, while PS2s are the size of a small dog, yet both systems are almost exactly the same.
Your obsession with watching weasel's fight.
Why your house smells because you don't change the litter in your cat's litter box.
Consider a world in which cows are spherical,. . .
What the world would be like if pigs could fly.
Your recent experience cow tipping.
Why vegetarians smell bad.
Why someone would make a product for vegetarian cannibals.
McWords that you McMadeUp.
Who won the Cola Wars.
Why that article you wrote that was deleted did not deserve to be deleted without so much as a goodbye.
Stuff that sucks by general consensus.
Your obsession with Badgers that you don't stinkin' need.
Your pet hamster.
Your obsession with frying pans.
What you think you see through beer goggles.
The band you're in (unless you're pretty much famous, then I guess you could write about yourself, but you really shouldn't).
Why you like fish sticks.
Speculation on why most trolls can't spell, punctuate, or capitalize.
Why someone would build the Cardrona Bra Fence.
Why you should be studying instead of vandalizing Wikipedia.
How to pronounce LOL, ROFL, LMAO,... ad absurdum.
The squabble your best friend's sister and your best friend got in after making mad, sweet love with Erik Estrada.
Yourself. If you're notable enough to write about, someone will have already done it for you.
A list of a 1000 people who actually want to know.
A demonstration of how you can recite pi to a thousand digits from memory.
How much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Why wood chucks actually can or want to chuck wood.
Things that make you horny.
How much so-and-so really likes so-and-other-so, but is a chicken for not asking so-and-other-so out.
Your definition of chicken, and why everything tastes like it.
Reviews for movies/music/books/etc.
How drunk you were when you decided to join Wikipedia.
What Wikipedia is not.
Where Mercury retrograde aspects your north node in your astrology chart.
How you think Russia invaded the U.S. state of Georgia, and not the ACTUAL country.
How many pints you had last night.
Your Fascist tendencies.
Why you suffer from Humor Deficiency Syndrome and can't think of anything to add to the "1000 things not to write your article about" page.
Your favorite sex position.
How you got a boner reading about the above.
If "pro" is the opposite of "con", then the "progress" must be the opposite of Congress.
Britney Spears and her lack of panties.
How much you like teh boobies.
A character that appeared for three seconds in a single episode of Beavis and Butt-head.
Your account of Big Bird's death by trying to put a condom on.
Why the border between Sweden and Finland is a little weird.
How to Triple the flammability of alcohol.
How to reversing the polarity of the neutron flow.
OMGWTFBBQ!
How Buzz Lightyear got laid by Sheriff Woody.
Politically incorrect resistor mnemonics you find on Google.
Stuff nobody cares about.
Weird sex toys.
Why you like pie.
Your face.
That time you swear to God you saw the face of the Virgin Mary in your Alphabet Soup.
Your infatuation with semi-naked fat people.
Why you almost died half an hour ago.
Children that Michael Jackson has slept with.
Where you think Waldo is hiding.
Don Alverzo's tweezers.
Fictional mergers of corporations.
How to overcome homosexuality.
People that have slept in the Lincoln Bedroom of the White House with Bill Clinton, Michael Jackson, Sherlock Holmes, or Steve Martin.
Your ex-girlfriend's phone number.
Your annoying neighbor who wakes you up at 3:00 am every day with a phone call asking where her husband is.
How talented Joan Rivers daughter is, or not.
The contents of Santa's "Naughty" and "Nice" lists.
Why the Los Angeles Lakers or <insert other hated athletic team here> suck.
Your new vacuum cleaner.
Your ex-boy/girl friend, who is a psychopath.
How you stuck your iPhone in a blender per the video and now have no iPhone.
Flatulence.
Your life story, when you're only 16 years and so-and-so months old.
How or why you think you are running the show, but it is actually run by a Chia Pet with an evil plan to destroy the universe.
The dinky little theater where you are running the show.
The star of the show.
The other idiot who just thinks he runs the show.
When the show is.
Your plans to invade the Republic of Molossia.
People who were born on February 30.
The new War on Hyphens.
Why your dog won't stop pooping in the yard.
How to cuss people out in Latin.
The angry boy with spiked hair who used to play the green trumpet in Lisa Simpsons' school band prior to the last, and lamentable, opening sequence makeover.
Why Lord Voldemort looks good wearing black.
Spreading rumors about famous celebrities.
The religious epiphany you had last night while eating ramen noodles and watching Adult Swim, and how you are now planning to convert the world to your beliefs.
Your screams of anguish.
Dear Ursula, your local advice column: Screwing with your love life for 15 years and counting.
Members of the Flat Earth Society.
Sufferers of Foreign accent syndrome.
Complaining why your tea wasn't brewed to ISO 3103 standards.
iPod? No, uPod.
World War XI 1/2.
101 ways to close the heart and douse the spirit.
Your anguish over what you thought was a long term junior high relationship – you made it from third period ... to seventh.
A play you wrote during the summer for school.
Your recent experience shooting a chicken gun.
The monkey in your closet.
The booger in your nose that's oddly-shaped like a penis.
How cool nunchucks are.
Your accident with your brand new nunchuks.
Michael Jackson's multiple noses.
Jimmy Carter's underpants.
George H. W. Bush's thong.
That time you saw Elvis.
That parody of high school musical you and six friends made up and how bad it was.
How you're trying to tell someone what a Jesus nut is without laughing your ass off.
How your friend's dad only remembers your street name because it's named after beer.
Anything aboot Canada.
Your growing hate for Vincent Price.
What you like about your street.
Sherlock Holmes's homosexual relationship with Dr Watson.
How it feels to auto-fellate.
Steve Martin's nose hair.
Whether or not you can kick it. (yes, you can)
How Sherlock Holmes got laid.
Your growing hate for Basil Rathbone.
How funny Steve Martin, or some parody, or Epic Movie is.
A critique of Battlestar Galactica vs. Stargate SG-1 vs. Star Trek: The Next Generation vs. Star Wars.
That one time you got Rickroll'd.
Your growing love/hate for Horror films.
That fat History Teacher you had in 7th grade.
Any biography that could possibly include the phrase anal leakage.
Fictional islands filled with paleontologists using pictures from real archeology articles as proof.
Why your computer will be taken away if you don't clean up your room by 3:00 pm on Friday.
Your annoying tendency to use smilies :) after every other ;) word, because :0 that pisses :P people off :(
How much you love your knee.
How to make a Dalek from things lying around your home.
How much the mockingbird in your backyard annoys you at night.
The shooting star you saw last night.
The reason why you spilled soda on your computer while you were typing on Wikipedia.
The ice cube you tripped on.
The cicada you ate last Tuesday.
Your bizarre sexual fetish for lists about what not to write a Wikipedia article about.
Who you think framed Roger Rabbit.
That blue things always smell like DVD players, except in a leap year.
How you are the true Pharaoh, even if you are.
How your sister is the high priestess of Isis, even if she is.
How everyone must bow down to you.
Anything above and below this list. Even if it is what's currently under your computer desk and not on the screen.
Music my audio world; Movie my video paradise; Walk my personal life; Dream my fantastic dream; or anything else that doesn't make any sense whatsoever,...
The weekly meeting at the local pub where you and six other people discuss soccer.
What you would have done if you did it.
How that admin banned you just because you pwned them.
How you rejoined the next day and teamkilled him repeatedly until you were permabanned.
Your obsession with lip synching into your computer.
How you really did read all the preceding entries to qualify for adding to this list.
How you once lit a firecracker in your mouth only to spit it out at the last second, on a dare, regardless of how close or how awesome it was.
Ryan Stiles' shoe size.
A detailed sub article about Bill Gates detailing how he really should have spend that $60 billion on you.
A new "That's What She Said Joke" that you just heard. Even if it was amazing. That's what she said,...
Your desire to make mad, sweet love to Clippy.
A dissertation on "Who Put the 'Bop' in the 'Bop-shu-bop-shu-bop'" and which 'bop' they, in fact, added.
Definitely not about how nihilists have threatened to cut off your Johnson.
How you worship Satan.
How Rock & Heavy Metal have changed your life.
How your McJob sucks, but you are forced to work there because no one else would hire you.
How gas prices continue to hurt.
How you love pain.
How your teacher told you not to use Wikipedia for your research project and you end up getting 75% of the information from Wikipedia anyway.
Your infatuation with owls.
Why LOL is or isn't real punctuation.
How subliminal messaging works.
How high an elephant's eye is.
Why using an elephant's eye is a bad practice by which to measure the height of corn when a tape measure will do.
That new awesome meme.
Your new awesome meme you thought you just made up, but in reality, people have been posting it to usenet and other discussion groups since the late 1980s,...
How your addition to this list is hella funny.
The etymology of the word "Radda".
An in-depth and somewhat over-analyzed dissertation on the clothes of your favorite fictional character.
How J. J. Abrams stole the idea for Lost from the novel you've been working on for the last 6 years.
A strongly-worded letter to the editor.
Why you hate oatmeal.
Why you think they could have found a better name for a planet than Uranus, or the character Moby Dick.
The time you thought you saw David Beckham, but you really didn't.
That time you thought you saw Victoria Beckham, but you really didn't.
The time when you thought you saw Britney Spears, and actually did!
That really funny joke you made up that you can't remember the punchline to.
Why 1000 things not to write your article about is going to end up with more than 1500 items.
How the 3G iPhone has/is going to revolutionize your life.
A list of every fictional food that has ever appeared on Chowder.
A list of lists on Wikipedia.
Numbers that are Numberwang.
Anything involving Mudkipz [sic].
Anything having to do with that restaurant in Manistee, Michigan that is now an A&W but used to be a Burger Chef, and is across from a Movie Gallery that used to be a Hardee's... and is next to a Family Video that used to be an A&P,...
. . . or the long-since-abandoned Kmart about a half mile down the road.
. . . or the Big Boy even further down the road that got torn down for a Walgreens.
Why you lost your boyfriend/girlfriend.
How you plan to win them back.
Your reaction to just seeing goatse, tubgirl, or 2 Girls 1 Cup for the first time.
Why you want to run away from home.
How many licks you think it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
Your favorite flavor of ice cream.
Your favorite lolcat.
How bottled Chinese toilet water changed your life.
Your obsession with doughnuts.
How happy you are and why.
How you made a line of ketchup leading to the girls' bathroom in Wal-Mart.
A list of mean things to do to people.
Why you love or hate reality tv shows.
How long you think it will take to finish this list.
Why you believe (or not) that the world will end in 2012.
How you plan to march around with signs saying the world will end in 2012.
Why the world will not end in 2012 because the LAST time the world was supposed to end, the world didn't end.
How it'll actually end sometime in August 2008, so there.
Why you spend your time reading ridiculously long lists of ridiculous things people write about.
How you used a Magic 8-Ball to make a life-changing decision.
How the Magic 8-Ball has ruined your life.
What the fluid inside a Magic 8-Ball tastes like.
That web series that you might produce some day.
Your new eco-friendly calculator.
When Jesus and the Devil got in a fight where Jesus used love-guns and the Devil ~~played a fiddle~~ set poobags on fire on Jesus's porch and rang the doorbell.
How the only thing worse than being Irish is not being Irish.
How Cthulhu WILL RISE AGAIN!!!!
How to tell a [wiki] from a wiki.
Why your printer is on fire.
That the metric unit of coolness is a megafonzie (abv. MFZ) which is 1,000 times the coolness of hitting a jukebox to make it work.
Your sexual obsession with Jessie the Cowgirl.
That the above made you say "ew" fairly loudly.
Anything related to adding even more red links (like this one and this one) to Wikipedia.
How a certain song by a country pop group reminds you of fellatio.
Anything involving Wilford Brimley rapping about The 'Beetus.
Your new paraphilia involving Magic 8-Balls.
Get-rich-quick schemes.
Cooking for the paralyzed.
Understanding people you'll never meet.
Why Hawaii and Norway are not near each other.
A girl you haven't seen in a while, but love.
How I gave up hope and died and it worked.
How to organize a tupperware gangbang.
How the Loch Ness Monster stole your tree-fitty.
How you are going to make a musical verison of Slap Shot and cast The Jonas Brothers as the Hanson Brothers.
How much Chuck Norris kicks ass.
How Bruce Lee is totally better than Chuck Norris. I mean seriously, I saw them in Way of the Dragon and Bruce Lee POUNDED Norris!
How you're going to get your $2.50 from some suicidal teenager who's madly in love with some girl that doesn't even know he exists.
How you lost your virginity to the Loch Ness Monster, and why you encourage everyone else to do so.
Why as you get older hair stops growing on your head and coming out of your ears.
And although you've came this far, there are STILL eighteen more miles, kilometres and acres to go! Get to work!
How you're writing this article just to get to some pointless milestone – YAY!!!! The 1 BILLIONTH swiftly deleted article ever!
How you agree with the previous editor. Me too. And me. And me.
Your first ride on the Chicago 'L'.
That long nine hundred and eighty kilometer jog.
Your obsession with Sailor Moon and Octomom and how you want to see them naked in a large bowl of citrus.
This wonderful website you have that will enable us to get tablets to increase wang size for minimal cost, or free porn, or Russian brides for $1.50 per text!
Your theory of how the Great Depression was caused by a lack of Zoloft; a recession occurs when there is only a shortage.
Things that are hilariously funny in Chinese, but on normal monitors show up as [] [] [][][] [][] [][][] [][][].
That awesome new drinking game that you invented while watching last night's infomercials.
How you recently bought a pig to fight crime and power your car.
Your weird sexual fetish involving toothpaste, a bowl of Hot Pockets, and a pair of Speedos.
Your dog's plans for secretly taking over the world.
How twelve dingles don't make a dangle when there's a sausage in your custard.
How your manga-obsessed pet hamsters, lead by one named "Toronto", got into your cupboard on Friday and forced you to vandalize Wikipedia.
How you wish Seven of Nine hooked up with Wesley Crusher on Star Trek.
How you wish YOU hooked up with Seven of Nine from TV's Star Trek: Voyager.
Why you wish Seven of Nine was a character on a real show like Star Trek: Deep Space Nine or Battlestar Galactica, instead of a crappy show like Star Trek: Voyager.
Why you drink Earl Grey Tea because you think Jean-Luc Picard is a sexy, bald, French Captain,...
Gee Gee Gee Gee Baby Baby Baby Gee Gee Gee Gee Bab Bab Bab Bab Bab Bab
A list of every song that you have stored on your iPod.
That rumor that he said that she did that he said he did to her that she said,...
How you PWN3D this guy in Civilization IV.
How the guy you just pwnzrd in Civilization IV destroyed your Modern Armor with a Longbowman.
That time you discovered that whole new world between your thights, which lead to your secret crush of Pee-wee Herman!
That one time you made the perfect that's what she said joke.
WhY tYpInG lIkE tHiS gEtS yOu ThE dEaTh PeNaLtY iN mOsT cOuNtRiEs.
How in Soviet Russia, Wikipedia edits YOU!
Why they call that energy drink Bawls.
The reason you hate this person so much... No personal attacks!
Why you hate the New York Yankees.
Why you think Bill Gates is the AntiChrist who will join forces with Hillary Clinton and take over the world.
Resisting the Cabal.
Another list of 1000 things not to write your article about.

[edit] 1001-2000: The Next Generation

How despite the fact that this list was only supposed to be only 1000 entries long, it is now beyond 1000.
Why you are still reading this list.
Why you are still considering posting something to this list.
Owhay o-onenay onway ouryay ockblay ancay underway andstay enwhay ouyay eakspay inway Igpay Atinlay andway etherwhay atthay isway away oodgay ingthay orway otnay.
What Wikipedia is not but should be.
What Wikipedia is but should not be.
The nth article in a series of articles that go on forever.
The (n + 1)th article in a series of articles that go on forever.
All the ∞ articles in a series of articles that go on forever.
The (∞ + 1)th article in a series of articles that go on forever.
How to solve the 3x3x3x3x3x3x3x3x3x3 Rubik's cube(?!).
How to throw the 3x3x3x3x3x3x3x3x3x3 Rubik's cube out of the window.
Why your monitor acquires a strange green tinge when you hit it with a hammer.
Why your hammer acquires a strange scratch on it when you hit your computer with it
How Windows Me Sucks hard concrete.
How gay Comfort Wipe is
How the wait for the Windows 7 Launch seems forever
What sunblock tastes like.
How Bendaroos, GarageBand, and Brand-name Celery changed your life.
Mauve waffle irons.
That one time a guy with a chicken on his head offered you a banana and told you how piped links are misleading.
Lists of explicit instrumentals.
Your obsession with yourself.
Your favorite episode of Good Eats.
Your favorite episode of Pokémon.
Your favorite Smosh short.
Cow tools.
The sandbox in your backyard.
Why you think Van Halen should be considered a cover band.
Your favorite episode of VeggieTales.
The epic fight between Peter Rabbit and Rayquaza.
The Man of Mystery Who is Everywhere Yet Nowhere at the Same Time.
That 96-way version of Rock, Paper, Scissors that you invented while on jury duty last year.
Your favorite Yu-Gi-Oh! card.
Your own rendition of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.
Why, if they were people, the QWERTY keyboard would own the AZERTY keyboard at an arm-wrestling match.
Your interpretation on the religious purpose of nectarines.
The History of the Talking Inflatable Nose- and Ear-hair Trimmer.
An argument of why PWN should be spelled "pone", as the latter is a real word.
Big brand names and how they affect society.
How Paper Mario isn't made of paper.
Eating paper.
A guide on how to eat a shirt.
The time Barney came into your room.
How the interwebz pwn.
The vampire in your basement.
The highest level you got to on Pac-Man without dying.
The time you thought you were playing Fire Emblem but you were playing volleyball.
Your favorite episode of Land of the Lost.
Eat Prego!
Making random links just for the pretty blue letters.
tHE cAPS lOCK kEY.
Obscure presidents.
Your favorite episode of the BBC World News.
How Forza Motorsport is a pretentious spin-off of Gran Turismo 4.
If it exists, there is porn of it.
Your neighborhood sledding hill.
Azerbai jamaic america.
How long it took you to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Your favorite beer and why it should be in every tap around the world.
√-0
How 2+2 does not, in fact, equal fish.
Give me back that Filet-o-Fish!
Your brand-new video game and how hi-tech it is.
How you sabotaged your local football team's homecoming game by eating the ball.
Understanding quantum physics in 3 easy steps.
Your favorite episode of MythBusters.
That one guy who breakdanced when he won big on The Price Is Right.
Especially if that guy was you.
Where to find a good arsonist.
A day-by-day account of your family trip to nirvana.
How to summon a basic demon for under $20.00!
Extremist ideas to take down the enemy and make Wikipedia official supreme world dictator! (Thanks, but no thanks)
Your stuffed feline and how it keeps mugging you.
The time you saw your very own face in those strange spots you get when you rub your eyes.
The guy who wished he invented bagels.
A list of heirs to the American Throne.
A list of all Presidents of the United Kingdom.
Your epic poem lamenting the loss of New Coke.
Your favorite episode of The Tonight Show, no matter who was hosting it at the time.
A biography on the presidency of David Rice Atchison.
Your rivalry with the System Idle Process.
Oz, mayte!
What You've Done.
Simply Red's 3-second appearance on Family Guy.
Your reason why you're home late.
A list of ideas for tweets you might make someday.
A dissertation on why, since crackers are better than nothing and nothing is better than peanuts, crackers are better than peanuts because when you put the statements together that's what you come up with OH IM SO SMART!
About the things that you like but others do not and the things that others like but you do not!
If Dracula can spread HIV/AIDS.
How long it took you to obtain Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
The longest ditch you ever dug.
How you tried to sue your reflection for copyright infringement.
That fun little game you invented.
That guy that killed your master.
Your village idiot.
Why everyone should/should not read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
How much your principal looks like Henry Kissinger.
The game of Wii Tennis that the System Idle Process PWNED you at.
Your desire to marry a bag of pretzels.
How many sharks you can jump on your bike.
The first time when you heard a comic strip's name and how it made you think of naughty things.
Why you really think you're Turning Japanese.
The PlayStation 6.
The business that repaired your windows.
People in your class who you suspect are Death Eaters.
Your favorite episode of Total Drama Island.
The fence in your backyard.
How your pen pal's backyard fence got destroyed.
Anything that leads to this.
Things that make you go "Hmm...", "Ouch!", "Meh?", "Kaboom!", etc.
Your efforts to bring Digimon back.
The thumb-wrestling match you entered with the System Idle Process.
Anything comparing rice to maggots.
Millard Fillmore's inferiority complex.
A page of spammery, such as EFEFEFEFEFEFEF..., or anything that noobs say on RuneScape.
That jam session your band had where you must have played for, like, 11 months straight without eating, dude!
You and your eight little friends.
How many gumballs you can fit in your mouth.
The time that guy threw a cup Coffee at you tought his car window, and no one belived you.
The reasons why one country's army is better than another country's army.
Anyone named "ShaBreeze".
Wizards in politics that nobody knows about.
That time the moon tried raping you, but the giants stopped it from doing such horrible things.
A somewhat obsessive semantics essay on the difference between a "nerd", a "dork", a "geek", and a "dweeb".
Ain't gonna be nuttin' with no bad grammar, y'all hear?
The way the cookie crumbles.
How the werewolves in Harry Potter OWN compared to the ones in that ridiculous Twilight series, or vice versa.
The first man to bike around the moon.
Stuff you wrote in the sandbox.
.sdrawkcab nettirw selcitrA
What would have happened if Germany had won the French and Indian War.
Your imaginary friend's real acquaintances.
What Shaquille O'Neal can't do. (We don't need any stubs XD)
How you need a patch to help with your addiction to letters.
Your local nerd shelter.
What you got for becoming a vampire
20 things not to do with a tongue depressor.
Stuff that you don't know about.
Your favorite episode of Everybody Hates Chris.
What The Electric Company has to do at all with utilities.
Your recent messy divorce with your mom.
Stuff caked onto the back of your refrigerator.
The time you ate the above.
How big your hospital bill was after doing the above.
The milky aftertaste that Black Cherry Tootsie Pops leave in your mouth.
Your personal political party.
The cop that pulled you over for texting while biking.
Your growing hate for non-Kyrgyz things.
Songs that are on Rock Band but should be on Guitar Hero, and vice versa.
A starred review of this list.
Your new house on Two Googleplex Drive.
How, as long as Chuck Norris is alive, the world will still have Weapons of mass destruction.
Your life as an assassin.
Who you're going to assassinate next.
Joseph Conrad's little known sequel, Spleen of Darkness.
How you flunked a history exam because you called that French general by the wrong name.
Your recent experience making beefalo burgers.
Why all the new Macs are named after big cats.
An etymology on "O SNAP!".
Why you blame all your problems on AC/DC.
Why AC/DC deserves it.
Your chemistry teacher.
How the Pittsburgh Steelers will only be at the next Super Bowl as spectators.
How the System Idle Process stole your girlfriend.
A list of 100 things nobody thought they could smoke.
The color you get when you close your eyes.
The opposite of "nose".
What in the freak System of a Down means!
How al-Qaeda ruined your plans to make a name for yourself as a mass vandal, who would be known for graffiting the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.
Bill Clinton's saxophone.
What one could make with the hair of the Edgar Winter Group.
What dying feels like, and why everyone should try it.
How long it takes to come up with one entry on this list.
Your town on Animal Crossing
Why The Onion hates Minnesota.
Your remix of the T-jingle.
Things that give you gas.
Stubs about real-life stubs.
Why you know the germans always make good stuff.
What not to write articles about on Wikipedia.
Why dryer sheets tick you off.
How you've stopped blaming AC/DC and have now starting blaming Steven Tyler.
Theories on how the System Idle Process and Steven Tyler are the same person.
The time Darth Vader was your subsitute teacher.
Your secret recipe for fart juice.
The music video you made.
Sarcastic names people call you.
Why entries about cow tipping appear twice on this list prior to now.
Your secret desire to become a catcher in the rye.
Why Mick Jagger does/does not rok your sox.
Your plans on making Artemis Fowl: The Musical.
Your plans on making a sequel to Artemis Fowl: The Musical.
About how the cake is not in fact a lie.
????
PROFIT!
How you are inferior to Jacob.
How SpongeBob SquarePants couldn't get to sing backup to Rush.
Jon Stewart's strange habit of coating himself in cactus jelly, getting into a Toyota Yaris, and driving backwards while singing ZZ Top in Polish.
What happened when you killed the System Idle Process.
That crazy, rich, fat man.
Elves in politics that nobody cares about.
How dark chocolate is gangsta that way.
The fact that you were the one chasing A Flock of Seagulls.
How much mad skillz you have.
Why Tulsa spelled backwards is what it is.
If rapists are subject to eye-for-an-eye punishment.
Your job at the Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company.
The fact that some people can believe it's not butter.
How a stop sign makes a good frying pan.
Whether or not you stole the cookies from the cookie jar.
A list of every creature that has ever appeared on Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.
What Willis was talking about.
Your recent trip to a Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem concert.
The time you were disappointed when you found out Adolf Hitler has no commemorative statues of him for you to urinate on.
An essay relating The Mamas & the Papas to The Offspring.
Bellatrix Lestrange's failed attempts to seduce Voldemort.
Insignificance.
The cult you founded.
Reasons to join said cult.
The beliefs of your cult.
Your cult in pop culture.
How much money you have under your mattress.
Your favorite television channel.
A list of groceries that you wrote last week.
Reasons you do not have a girlfriend including but not limited to the amount of time you spend on World of Warcraft and how leet your character is.
SpongeBob's questionable sexual orientation.
Your campaign plan to become president of Palau.
What Jimbo does for fun.
The crumbs that get stuck between the keys of your keyboard when you eat while editing Wikipedia for hours on end.
Famous jaw-harp players.
Your experiences at the Burning Man Festival.
Joseph Stalin's mustache.
Whether or not you are turned on by Mr. Clean
Who Bill Clinton thought was a saxophone.
Reasons why you knew Alec Baldwin was a space alien even prior to the ad.
The healing properties of Arby's sauce.
Things that are wildly popular in Cardiff, but have no relevance anywhere else.
30 ways to kill with a pillowcase.
What Wikipedia would be like if it was a Japanese invention.
A list of things that have nothing to do with Japan.
How your LOLcat is more than that, it's an ROTFLcat.
What you put on your Subway sandwich.
Why mayonnaise sandwiches are amazing/disgusting.
How Chuck Norris won the Game.
How fun it is to vandalise.
How fun it is to ban vandals.
An advice column on how to feed a sponge properly.
Your motorcycle gang.
New Wikipedia pages with names like "Wikipedia: I like food", "Wikipedia: How to be annoying", and "Wikipedia: Wikipedia sux bad".
How you are the illegitimate child of Santa Claus, even if you are.
How you are the Heir of Slytherin, even if you are.
What makes Top Gear so dang funny.
Your story on how you were a lonely yak herder in Mongolia until one day when Wikipedia hit you on the head falling from the sky and now you have a life, at least in the eyes of your Wikifriends.
Irrelevance, or for that matter, irreverence.
How one little detail about something related to Star Trek was missed in its wikipedia article. No one else gives a crap.
Fred The Monkey, except for the platypus because he's actually a platypus. I think that's an effecient answer to about everything.
How hot you friend's sister/mom/any other random family member I'll never meet is.
The benefits of chewing with your mouth closed.
How you find Dr. Frank N. Furter sexy.
How mice are the smartest species on Earth.
How dophins are the second smartest species on Earth.
How the human race is the third smartest species on Earth.
What Brian Boitano would do if he were here right now?
How Black Moth Super Rainbow is the greatest band ever and are twelve times better than other legendary bands like The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and I Set My Friends On Fire.
How Chuck Norris will start a jam band with Jesus Christ and Jack Black.
Who is hotter, Megan Fox or Joan Rivers.
Stephen Colbert's space treadmill that NASA is using in Outer Space.
Why you can't get a date that's not completely insane.
When the whole world will end and how we will be left in a post-apocalyptic environment like the movie Mad Max 2 or The Terminator.
Why Whoopi Goldberg isn't that funny anymore.
Your experiences in The Hunger Games.
How many statements that are funny when the phrase "in my pants" follows them.
Why Eminem is the only reason we have white rap.
Why it's not good to shake Polaroid pictures.
Why we shake them anyways.
Your theories on where the middle of Wikipedia is.
Your local cultist supply store.
The country which your latest mosquito bump looks the most like.
Your friend's LOLcat, which he claims is a LMAOcat.
Why butter is not a schoolbus.
How fun it is to use dijon mustard for purposes not intended
The bus stop on the corner.
How many people you know that have been mugged there.
How we should all turn Leon into a democracy.
Delicious earwax.
1,000,000 reasons to disagree with the above.
Ronald vs. The King. It's always a draw.
The first small celestial body to head the United States Supreme Court.
The color you just invented.
Peanut brittle as a weapon in pop culture.
Instances of fishing off of a giraffe in Idaho.
The time a fireball chased you from Bratislava to Shanghai, despite you wearing your fireball-repellent shoes that day.
The forecast today.
The fool, and why you pity him.
What you're currently smoking.
Why Dominicans play good baseball.
How hard it is to balance your jobs as a philatelist, a pro BASE jumper, and a corn dog vendor in Chicago.
The stupid thing you got when you went somewhere.
Perverts you know and trust.
How the clown only eats you if you are awake, so you should stop worrying.
How this vermouth you bought for $39.99 was a complete ripoff.
The Gypsies that stole your car to sell it to Mexicans, or that's what you think.
How a Mr. Mime slapped you down.
Things that are just plain embarrassing.
How you believe the USA is run by several more presidents than you think.
Slang terms popular in your hometown, but nowhere else.
Blank pages the result of hitting the "Enter" key over 1.87•10^485⅜ times.
How we should execute those who do the above.
P♦o♥k♣e♠r and how amazing it is.
How when most horsies get hurt, we give them shots.
How you are an SPCA member and plan on arresting the above contributor.
How you are an admin and plan on reprimanding the above contributor for personal attacks.
The oddness of Lego Rock Band.
Where you were the day the music died, especially if you drove your Chevy to the levee when the levee was dry, where good old boys drank whiskey and rye, saying "This'll be the day I die", or anything similar.
Your strange yet peaceful cult that believes that the music died, and on the third day it rose again.
The time you got OM-NOMMED on RuneScape.
Danish people, and how they'll take over.
The other Danish people, and how they'll take over.
Your plan to go out this Halloween dressed as Flavor Flav.
How much you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain.
how vitamin water thinks they're so clever by putting quasi-humorous paragraphs on their bottles in all lowercase.
Why you don't like green eggs and ham, and how you will not eat them in a house, with a mouse, etc.
How you got fired from your job at the power plant.
When Dr. Seuss met Keith Moon and wrote Horton Hears The Who.
How your computer is being ravaged by H1N1.
What Bleach has at all to do with hydrogen peroxide.
Your homebrew sequel to the movie 9, entitled 10.
The US's war against England in 2074, caused by England crashing Monty Python's Flying Circus into Willis Tower.
How SpongeBob SquarePants couldn't even sing backup to an obscure prog band like Coheed and Cambria, because his voice is too high.
Your fear, and why you need counseling.
Your inexplicable sudden feeling of mutual friendship towards Spiderbait.
How long it takes to milk a capybara.
How to milk a coconut.
Coconut cheese, coconut yogurt, or any other coconut dairy product.
Your habit of yelling "Giggity!" whenever the postman comes.
How you came all this way to make an entry about leet, but now that you've got there, you can't freaking think of anything!
Deficit.
Why Admiral Stockdale should become president.
Why Tarzan should be vice president.
Why Darth Maul should be Secretary of Housing and Urban Development.
How you thought the Wright Brothers were a band at first.
Your trip to Y, France.
How James Bond sucks since he is only the seventh best at his job.
Why your userpage should be a featured article, since you are so interesting.
What Wikipedia wishes deep down that it wasn't.
The time your GPS exploded when you asked it to find Carmen Sandiego.
How long it takes for a rock band to get to Mars.
The time you used MapQuest to find how to get to Sesame Street.
What Mickey Mouse's cabinet would be if he had won the presidency.
Things that are there to simply be hilarious, unless properly labeled as such.
The time the ghost of Woodrow Wilson came to your house, and asked to borrow your lawnmower.
Your favorite episode of Dexter's Laboratory.
Steven Tyler's wheelchair.
Mathematical proof that 1 really is the loneliest number.
Complete and utter nonsense!
Elite Four Karen.
How you get free tickets to see The Mars Volta every year, since the guitarist is your cousin's friend's friend's cousin.
How you have a fetish for watching a Möbius strip.
Your loathing for Larry the Cable Guy, since he never actually fixed anything.
Your favorite fast food restaurant.
ur pwnag spelin
The difficulty of finding the "Space" key on your keyboard.
How this article is a "disgrace to the Wikipedia community."
Your phobia of socks.
Seriousness.
How fish are friends, not food.
The fact that rawrimadino isn't in the Oxford English Dictionary.
The time Vincent Price joined the Bee Gees.
The most violent MMORPG.
Your hobo house.
The time you exploded after eating at KFC.
What Wikipedia secretly aspires to be.
Jack Black vs. Jack White. Whoever you say wins, you'll be called racist.
Your favorite kind of salad.
Passersby shocked by the enormous quantities of blood.
What the ghost of Ed McMahon is trying to sell you on now.
Being tangled up in any color besides blue.
The time you were Martin Scorsese for a day.
Truthiness.
Luscious chocolate fingers spinning slowly in the school.
Your amazing ability to pretend to remove your thumb.
The dumb WoW stunt you pulled.
Special Achievement Academy Award for Strangest Uses of Roller Skates in an Animated Film: Monsters vs. Aliens!
Lists of places where you can buy Wikipedia official licensed merchandise.
DRAMATIC PEOPLE!
Users who you suspect are ghosts.
What would have happened if Heidi Landgraf met Bob Marley.
Cruel jokes about Ethiopian cuisine.
How Tropic Thunder was the best meta-comedy ever!
Why you found WALL-E insulting.
The political leanings of the citizens of Liberal, Kansas.
The suggestive hidden messages of Toy Story 2.
Cars that ought to be deemed unsafe at any speed.
Making lame list entries.
A debate over whether the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup or not.
How Wikipedia is a legitimate substitute for Facebook, etc.
A full documentary of SpongeBob's unsuccessful stint in progressive rock.
The Spanglish Inquisition.
Ernie Sanders, that one guy from high school with a growth on his head shaped like a Buick.
How many pages are on your watchlist.
How often you check your watchlist.
The fact that there are too many redlinks on the User List.
That one joke when Hugo Chávez, Rainn Wilson, Barbra Streisand, and Ulysses S. Grant were on an airplane and...
How John Mellencamp is a masochist.
What the tapes could have been used for.
Why you think that "LOL" should be included in every English dictionary, and every usage thereof.
That crazy dream last night, that, um, hold on... aaaaaw, how did it go? Ah, well, I can't remember, but I do know it involved clouds.
Why Austria will never return to the Eurovision Song Contest.
The fact that Michael Schumacher will never return to Formula 1.
Your ancestral hometown.
The conspiracy plot in which the Michelin man, Crackle, the Energizer bunny, and the Kool-Aid man attempt to assassinate Joe Biden, George Lopez, and that glove from the Hamburger Helper commercials.
How many times you've watched The Incredibles.
Voice actors in Mexico. Unless you're one. Or at least a fandubber.
That Michael Palin and Sarah Palin are secretly related.
How nothing can kill The Grimace.
Why Drew Pickles is really, really, really, really gay!
Entries number 465-529 on this list, or entries 102-153, or entries 1294-1336, or for that matter all the others.
That mysterious powder that just appeared in your wallet, and you don't know why.
How to make an emoticon Boeing 787.
The fact that redlinks are pretty.
Why USA Today/New York Times/The Onion/your town newspaper is the most reliable news source around.
The 46,023,487,105,108,662,199^th amendment to the United States Constitution, in which buttering your nostrils is punishable by law.
How you can prove all science null and void with a quart of pistachio ice cream and a nine-iron.
Your Honda Civic that has 34 million miles, gets 3,990 miles per gallon, and has no upholstery.
How to delete the Main Page.
Why non-conforming is conforming, and how by being alive, or by being dead, we conform. No one cares. Sorry.
Boomchuck, your imaginary woodchuck.
Why you think Michael Jackson is was gay.
Why CCSVCHST is really, really, really starting to tick you off about now.
Any kind of cruft.
The fact that the Mayans predicted Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann winning in 2012, hence the downfall of society.
Your all-time favorite manga.
How you ran for election in '96, and lost to SpongeBob SquarePants, who most notably didn't exist at the time.
How Toki Wartooth and Skwisgaar Swigelf are accurate depictions of Scandinavian Americans.
The weather in London.
Your version of this page arranged in alphabetical order, for people with OCD.
The fact that there is never, ever a prize at the bottom of the box.
Your growing jealousy of Jimmy Neutron.
How, despite all this, you still have chicken.
How the Thai will team up with Uruguay and PWN everyone in World War XI½.
Where the beef is.
How Helena Bonham Carter murdered Gary Oldman, who is secretly her cousin, at least in the movies.
What you're going to do now that this page is 100 kilobytes long.
Why Owl City is getting on your nerves.
Your professional opinion on Robin Hood: Men in Tights.
How you can always depend on kumquats to cheer you up on a stormy day.
Your favorite book.
How you are afraid that Mel Gibson will kill you as you sleep.
How much it rained/snowed/hailed yesterday.
Your boat.
How Seth Rogen absolutely crushed his career by being in Pineapple Express, or for that matter why you think it did the opposite.
Why you're proud to be a Sealander.
What Wikipedia would be if all the admins died.
How Eric Cartman's rendition of Poker Face is more popular than Lady Gaga's version.
Your opinion on the beta.
Biographies of Algerian rock bands that have a fanbase of around nine.
How it's sad that popular female-led bands are putting more skilled obscure bands in their shadow.
Your inability to know which way is up.
Why you love Porygon and think that it sucks that it will never be seen again because of one little flashy sequence, even though if you watch it, it's clearly Pikachu's fault.
How we're really all just doing it for the show.
How you believe the balloon boy hoax was a result of the Obama administration.
The time you told your science teacher about the girl you like, and your feeling of "I should have not done that" later.
YOU!!
Why Michael Stipe likes orange soda.
Your plan to get into the village stocks.
Why your butt is numb from sitting at the computer all day.
How Martha Washington was a smokin' hot mama.
Your intense dislike for rich Jews.
When 21=19, 5=3, and 2=1.
How when the the Governator says he'll be back, he means it.
Useless proxy pages to simply de-orphan an article.
The money, and why you need it shown to you.
Why Lego video games POWN (sic).
Franz Kafka's nightmares, in which he wakes up to find he has been turned into a children's nonfiction author.
How, if b=√(4/c), and the coefficient of y is c−7, then SpongeBob SquarePants does indeed live in a pineapple under the sea.
How you wish that you could hang out with Ben Bernanke.
What happened to the Woz.
Who you're voting for in 2010 to be on the Nebraska state house.
How Kurt Cobain died from not having enough espresso.
Weird Al Yankovic's secret connection to Steriogram.
Why plastic fruit is good for you.
That song from Rocky III.
Inside jokes you and your buddies from band class have.
Why Teen Titans is not an anime.
Your favorite Thomas the Tank Engine character, unless you can give a neutral point of view on the matter.
That one time you shot the sheriff, but the deputy went and told on you.
How Jeff Dunham is funnier than Jeff Foxworthy, who is in turn funnier than Will Smith, who is funnier than Ronald Reagan, who is funnier than Mel Gibson, who is not funny at all.
That video of your dog that got put on America's Funniest Home Videos, even if you won first place.
The swearing on the Finding Nemo audio commentary.
That round of Mario Kart you played 40 seconds ago.
How it sucks that Columbus Day is not recognized at your über-conservative school district, which believes the world was created in 1776.
Propaganda pushing your religion on us defenseless Wikipedians.
People who pronounce it "Wick-uh-pee-dee-uh".
The price of the joint you're smoking.
A list of palindromes.
Proof that Chester Alan Arthur is a figment of your imagination.
Kooks with nukes and their Holocaust-denying friends.
The guy who sung the Jigglypuff song on American Idol.
The potential results of Chris Daughtry singing the Jigglypuff song.
Your dog.
How much you love gummy bears.
A boy you know who sings a song better than the actual singer. No, it is not Joe Jonas.
The squirrel in your backyard.
How you got points taken off your history quiz because you called that '20s gangster Al CaPWN.
What your Patronus takes the form of.
Your favorite episode of The Andy Griffith Show.
How Barack Obama is like Charles Barkley, and thus should not be president any longer.
That one really, really, really confusing level on Kingdom Hearts.
The time you completed RollerCoaster Tycoon, and nobody believed you.
Your love ~~for~~ messed-up ~~wiki~~ ~~text~~.
Mudkip is EVERYBODY'S favourite Pokémon.
How you were one of the people who was part of the Wikipedia Elephant stunt.
How the Mystery Machine was confiscated by the DEA.
St. Johnny, the patron saint of fiddle players.
The idiots who keep putting your stapler in Jell-O.
Racist jokes.
Michael Bloomberg's unexplained hatred for good radio.
Bite my shiny metal ass!
Your left toe. ~~That already has a topic.~~
How to discreetly add entries to this list just to up your edit count to become an autoconfirmed user so you can vandalise easier.
Not reading the past entries on this list (see entry 876).
Your magic carpet.
How there is not a Holiday Inn in Cambodia, but there is a Hanoi Hilton.
This list on the Simple English Wiki.
How you have no article edits, and thus can be considered a newbie.
A brief history of nothing.
Your habit of randomly quoting Young Frankenstein.
The rabbits that stole your Nintendo DSi for their sacrificial altar.
Users who you think may be celebrities.
Your autographed eyeballs.
The fact that Mr. Krabs loves his thermostat.
Your new bot account, Shazbot.
Your collection of Magic: The Gathering cards.
The undeniability that Steven Chu knows everything.
Your worship of Shel Silverstein.
Your experiences at debate class.
Trivia, especially unsourced opinions.
How sucky a game console by Apple would be.
The fact that nobody can verify how old you are for the Arbitration Committee Elections. You could be six years old, for crying out loud.
Why your teacher is better than another teacher.
Your freaking frustrating K'Nex model that took 3 hours to build and takes up too much space.
The International Yelling Society, founded by Mick Jagger, David Lee Roth, and Steven Tyler.
Your IQ.
Why that game is called Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days.
How big tonight's homework assignment is.
Things you can do with a MissingNo.
That time you went to China and every product said "Made in USA".
How all of your school computers have been blocked from Wikipedia.
The little man inside your computer.
When memes evolve: "so i hier u liek marshtompz".
Things to do in and around Conjunction Junction.
That time you filibustered.
Why you suspect that SNL staff roam Wikipedia.
Your theories on the results of Video's grisly murder in a state with capital punishment.
The time O. J. Simpson was in your fridge.
Your love of blue popsicles.
What Wikipedia hopes it doesn't become.
The anticipation of waiting for Jimmy Clausen to accept your friend invitation on Facebook.
The number of zeroes in a gazillion.
Your skin condition.
The fact that 3D Ultra Lionel Traintown shows up as a Killers album when put in Windows Media Player (see here).
The Great Pie War.
The time your house was eaten by nematodes.
Anything involving Arsenio Hall in golf clothes.
How much you loved the 90's.
Your phone number, address, e-mail address, or anything else to try and get people to be your friend.
The time you drowned in a vat of Cherry Garcia.
What she said
Random phrases that pop into your head when you're on drugs.
The fact that Eric Clapton is not on cocaine.
The time Percy ran over a lady tied to the track.
How you plan to have a Zelda game with F. Scott Fitzgerald as the last boss.
Your job at a nursing home, and how much it sucks to give old people sponge baths.
The wall you broke.
Cowbell fever.
How much you were overcharged to buy a song on iTunes.
Gavin Sutton, the likeable Papua New Guinean.
Jono's massive ego.
How your friend's name is Abeer Khan (get it: A beer can, ha ha ha).
How "P.K. Chewing Gum" stole your initials. And your Dad's.
The time you fought off zombies that looked like the members of Weezer.
Games that don't exist...yet.
Your astigmatism.
How to catch defish. _{(with debate!)}
What not to wear to church.
Why The House at Pooh Corner promotes Nazism.
The time Jiminy Cricket stole your soul.
A non-notable Disney cartoon from the 1930's that you think had your name written in it somewhere.
Snerfing the albot norfuzz beneath a mognid wudlee.
How you actually understood the above statement.
The love life of any of the individual reindeer that pull Santa's sleigh, even the most famous of all.
Why you fear the Reaper.
Why SHAZAM should be in the Oxford English Dictionary.
How Jerry Seinfeld is a big whiner.
The bird from Up.
Why Shrek 2 should be Film of the Decade.
How to become a millionaire.
Why, if there were an American object called a crumpet, it would most definitely be called a "cookie" by the British.
Why you should have claimed entry 1600 on this list!
How all your base are belong to mudkipz.
A list of places that sell kung pao chicken.
Your boss.
Why Keystone Kops is the epitome of sophisticated humor.
How much you wish Howie Mandel would grow an afro.
Craters on the moon named after professional wrestlers.
How Wikipedia brainwashed you.
Your friend's crappy internet radio station.
Your friend's brother's love of old women
Your gibberish username.
A defense saying your username isn't gibberish.
The secret ingredient to your secret ingredient soup.
The time you were stampeded by Piloswine while eating fondue at Target on a Wednesday.
How Al Capone is the real OG.
Your grandpa, who was an extra in Gandhi.
That creepy guy with a periscope.
The new Force-Action Lightsaber.
The time you joined Organization XIII.
Your crayon collection.
Speculation on if the Pilgrims invented Puritan's Pride brand vitamin supplements.
How entries about squirrels appear at least twice prior to now.
How excited you are to sit on Santa's lap.
Wikipedia's European Vacation.
How to speak Engrish.
The time Burt Reynolds joined CCR.
Your favorite Metroid game.
People you know who can accurately imitate Mel Gibson's evil glare he gave that one guy in Braveheart before he killed him.
How to win the Game, watch the Show, read the Book, or anything else that's vague.
Your favorite character who doesn't even exist on its own fictional TV show.
The amorphous blob of dough that was your kid's meal at IHOP.
Quaylisms that are hilarious, but irrelevant.
How much you wish Cheap Trick would come into your house.
Why nobody puts Baby in the corner.
How cool it would have been for Harrison Ford to marry Geraldine Ferraro.
Your favorite episode of Bob the Builder.
The Rorschach test you recently took.
The Snickers bar you're currently eating.
Your all-time favorite Samuel Beckett play.
The time Alistair Cooke was possessed by Russians.
Your crazy Uncle Tim.
The all-time suckiest point in your life.
Your pimped-out signature.
The time you put your Scion on hydraulics.
The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song.
The time your cousin dreamed she was trapped in an item box from Mario Kart.
Why you wish school was over.
A list of reasons why you're not worthy.
Where you buried the treasure.
Popular culture.
Your imaginary planet made of pancakes.
Is eating eggs evil?
How Chevy Chase is a god to the people on other distant moons.
Why Herbert Hoover should have committed suicide.
How to be properly Hanged, drawn and quartered.
Reasons you love Uncyclopedia!
The massage you're currently receiving.
How Glenn Beck is secretly a Liberal.
What happened when you left your printer on too long.
The time the world ended on April 11, 1964, and nobody noticed.
Why you suspect Fall Out Boy is insulting you. Or maybe they're complimenting you. Who knows, nobody can understand what they're saying anyways.
The first rule about the Def Leppard fan club, in which there are no rules.
What you smell like.
How handy Wikipedia would have been during World War II.
Why your bum is on fire.
What's for breakfast.
Why Libertarians are to blame for the Great London Fire.
Your favorite type of cookie.
That time when you reached 10,000 pageviews on your crappy website.
Links that lie about where they take you.
Why you like Ike.
Jelly doughnuts.
Anything that doesn't already have an article about it. Wait, wha...?
Your uncomfortable computer chair.
Suggestive euphemisms you thought of.
Your fat gym teacher who sits and blows a whistle all day long.
Why anything is "tight".
People who have died by Wikipedia.
Barack Obama and the pope losing the game!
What the Foo Fighters have to do with foo.
Why the Wikipedia spherical puzzle would be hard to put together, but amazing to own.
How much you loved ¡Three Amigos!.
Your first article.
How attempting to do the above initiates a causal loop, unless you ain't a newb.
The time you choked on your own tongue because you had a seizure prior to 1988.
Why Family Guy is better than American Dad!.
Why The Office is better than both of them combined! Hahaha...
The haunted house down the road filled with ghosts of Peter Sellers characters.
The gum stuck under your desk.
Your helicopter that runs on alternative fuel.
Chicken fried, cold beer on a Friday night, a pair of jeans that fit just right, and the radio up.
A list of people who have died from lawn darts.
Why the History Channel doesn't show any history.
Why TLC should thank short people, tall people, fat people, and big families.
How hard it is to obey your thirst.
The banana peel you just slipped on.
That time in algebra where you fell asleep with a joint in your mouth, and got three extra credit points on your test for some reason.
Something you just put on 4chan.
Why the owl should be our national bird.
The grouse you poached.
Your belief that James Brown and James Taylor are alter-egoes of each other somehow.
Why we should fear what Wikipedia may become.
Your town petting zoo.
How many enemies you've slain using Tron's combo attack on Kingdom Hearts II (although, there may be someone who wants to know).
Why you fear Sexually transmitted diseases.
Why you don't fear STDs.
Your ritual of brushing your teeth in traditional Mexican attire, while smoking a roll of nylon, listening to Pat Benatar CDs, in your kitchen sink, while the air reeks of cucumbers, in order to ward off evil spirits (or anything similar).
That kid across the room who's currently picking his nose.
An exchange rate table of all fictional currencies.
Improper uses for Hamburger Helper.
Your foosball table.
That time when you were about to pwn a greifer in Halo 3, but the power went out, and everyone thought you left the game because you were losing.
Why you think that Stegosaurus breathed fire.
Primeval Series 5 rumors (OMG! DID YOU HEAR THAT A FIRE BREATHING STEGOSAURUS WILL APPEAR? MY BEST FRIEND'S FRIEND'S FRIEND TOLD ME ON MSN LAST NIGHT! LOL!)
That one time you saw a Bigfoot using the bathroom!
A article dedicated why you think that Dragons are Dinosaurs.
Your pet cat, who killed a baby bird, then proceeded to drop it on the welcome mat.
Made up Pokémon episode summaries
A hard math problem you can't solve, and you put it on Wikipedia because you think that someone is going to edit the correct answer in.
Your anger at the article about the math problem being deleted.
Your anger at the article about your anger at the article about the math problem being deleted.
How Pokémon MUST be banned because it teaches Evolution!
A forum that banned you for trolling.
An article about how to bomb Viacom's headquarters because they sued YouTube. (Don't even think about it)
That myth they busted on MythBusters but you want revisited.
Why you abandoned the fire breathing Stegosaurus theory, and now you think that Parasaurolophus breathed fire because you went on this website that said so!
Why you got a 10% percent on your math test.
Why you blame Wikipedia for the 10% percent on your math test! (Hint: nobody cares)
That time your mother had sex with your uncle, who married your teacher who had an affair with your headteacher, who impregnated your grandmother who had twins who had sex and the baby was retarded and wouldn't get into preschool and the teacher was a crackhead and tried to stab you when you went to pick up your brother but then you kicked her but then you got mugged and raped by your ex and Jerry Springer wouldn't believe you.
Speculation on if everyone's mother makes a different potato salad.
How you've been misunderstanding a key policy and bolding everything.
That time you got locked out of your house, and couldn't cook supper, so you had to get fast food.
An article about your attempts to find an Atari Jaguar in Wal-Mart .
An article about all the edits you made on Wikipedia .
That time where you spray painted all over a fence, it's best to keep that a secret.
Why licking the floor at the 'Dome gives you cancer.
How hungry you are after watching Over the Hedge.
The time your girlfriend turned into a mermaid, and won't turn back, no matter how many IMs you send her.
Theories on why Minute Rice takes 5 minutes to cook.
Why FOX News is worthy of worship.
Why MSNBC is even more worthy of worship.
Your favorite Fullmetal Alchemist volume.
Your obsession with Bob Seger's left lung.
Lithium-flavored ice cream.
Dead puppies.
Repetition.
Repetition.
The first time your granny had Mountain Dew.
Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, Spam, and Spam.
The time your evil cousin threw a football helmet at you and missed, and you laughed.
How you died and lived to tell the tale.
How you think Pokémon is gay and for little kids even though you just played Pokémon Platinum five minutes ago.
List of war crimes commited by Harry Potter
The time you stole the last Cookie from your freind in Science.
Why do people want to know anyway¿
Why in america is owning a gun legal before drinking¿ now thats just mad
How the insane people that edit this have gone insane and edited this with random things
That kid next to me that loves Wiki.
The person who can't find this page.
Right.... what is this page really for? and what to write.
Why do you get people kicked by Admin.
How entries 1126 and 1395 are being violated as we speak...
Your hair.
The group of bandits that held you up on the way to school asking you for HD Radio.
Your plan to combine the Shamwow and Slap Chop into one product.
Your totally awesome level you made on LittleBigPlanet.
How you Don't have any friends.
How all toasters toast toast, but some toast bagels
How well your farm is doing in FarmVille.
How hot Robert Patterson, Justin Bieber, or Taylor Lautner is
Mudkips
How many people you herd liek mudkips
For that matter, don't talk about Slowpoke, Jigglypuff, or Pikachu
Your obsession with Rastafarian jellyfish.
Bands you can eat.
How, like... you know.
The fact that your granddaddy fought in the Mexican-American War.
How much you had bet that the previous entry would involve the Revolutionary War.
The time that the article on Knuckles the Echidna was longer than the articles on echidnas, Sega, and the Revolutionary War combined. (Not too far from the truth here).
Exploding Whales, or indeed Exploding Wales, or even Exploding Wales.
The fact that you were once Time's Person of the Year.
The movie that you watched earlier that you think should win a Golden Raspberry Award.
)
A list of all the mistakes in Star Wars.
Definitely not about the Bumbling José, the Twitching Man, Gumption, or their connection to any box method game.
How much weight you can bench-press
101 things that are wrong with How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
The sad truth that everything you know comes from watching daytime television.
People who think that every Noun on this List needs to be a capital Letter in order for it to get to the Article it needs to Link to.
Freakin' 593, that's what!
What Clay Aiken does in his bedroom (it ain't nobody's bidness).
A funny slogan you read on a T-shirt.
What could have happened if Nemo had not been found.
The time you passed out riding the kiddie ride.
How many girls that have slept with James Bond.
Andrew Shepard.
The theme song from The West Wing.
How some vandal deleted your user page so you got angry and blocked him but it turned out the vandal was George W. Bush, so he came to your house with WMDs, and you died, and that's how you ended up playing Chinese checkers with Walt Disney and John Wilkes Booth in limbo.
Your trip to Margaritaville.
The crazy banner ad that's scrolling across your other internet window right now that distracted you from editing!
Why it's time for Wikipedia to enter the 19th century.
That Soylent Green is people!
The bloodstained dagger you carry as remembrance of that fateful night.
Why everybody should know about that fateful night.
Your local tavern that Keith Richards got drunk at.
How to survive a nuclear explosion.
Why ELO shouldn't bring you down.
How bad you soiled yourself when you saw Alien, Braindead, Friday the 13th, and Howard the Duck.
Why that same film gave you nightmares.
Plastics.
How you trapped your sims in a room until they peed themselves and died.
That time you looked up at the sky and and bird pooped on your face.
Turning right to go left.
The relationship between Peanut Butter Jelly Time and Miller Time.
...And if you throw Hammer Time into the mix, it's just confounding.
...Don't even think about mentioning Howdy Doody Time!
The one time Travis Barker wore a shirt!
We liked Ike, and he likes golf, so do we all like golf as well?
Sleeping ideas, especially green ones that are sleeping, and not if they're colorless, and most definitely not if they sleep furiously.
The Royale with Cheese.
Your experiences at the British Television Advertising Awards. (They are great, non?)
More propaganda trying to get people to write about the British Ad Awards. (That doesn't mean you can't write about them. Feel free!)
A list of glitches in Final Fantasy II.
Stupid cookie-cutter style families that leave Oreos out for Santa Claus.
A list of Latino people that celebrate Kwanzaa.
Why Hayley Williams really didn't mean to brag.
What the f*** was going on in 1987.
That time Eddie Vedder was haunted by the ghost of Kurt Cobain and was told that Pearl Jam isn't a grunge band before being strucked in the head with a copy of Nevermind.
Conspiracy theories about the similarities of Pearl Jam, Creed, and Stone Temple Pilots.
How the Na'vi are just Smurfs on steroids.
Edit warring.
Songs about Wikipedia.
Why you think the Giant Enemy Crab is after you.
A made-up cheat code you thought of on the top of your head.
Your plan for a Guitar Hero game centered around The Wiggles.
That song about 1985. It probably has an article.
The graffiti you scratched into your game case of Jak X: Combat Racing.
Japanese Shovel Surfing.
What you would do If U Seek Amy.
That time you pushed the "Delete" button on your computer and deleted your laptop.
When you saw the Sopranos series finale and called it a piece of...
What you're going to do if Joe Lieberman filibusters.
Reasons why you never see the neighbor's face on Home Improvement.
Your retarded neighbor who sold his amputated prostate on Craigslist, and used the funds to pay for Good Charlotte's potential galactic tour.
Your unexplained, sudden, and quickly fleeting obsession with Joan Jett.
How cool the Trans-Siberian Orchestra is.
Your favorite episode of The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack.
The fact that Tonga doesn't exist.
That one time where you did something with that one guy and then, like, yeah.
RIDGE RACERRRR!.
Why Oprah Winfrey and Glenn Beck should both stop crying.
Why you think Wikipedia is a Ballroom Blitz.
How Kenny keeps dying and coming back to life on South Park.
What would happen if Master Chief and Samus Aran were married.
The amazing voice actors of the Kingdom Hearts series.
How the world will end in 2012 because Obama will get reelected.
Why anybody would invent a political party against government. It's beyond me.
Things that are wrong with Sarah Palin's life (you'd crash the servers with such a big list XD).
The fact that there is water at the bottom of the ocean.
Soviet-era Cowsmonauts (they couldn't afford people).
Why Ferraris look good in red.
Who would win in a fight, Rocky or Rambo.
Your rant about why Mystery Science Theater 3000 is the best show ever and why it should be back on television.
Thedifficultyoffindingthespacebar.
The fact that nobody can identify the Bill of Rights, Ukraine, or Michael Anthony.
Who doesn't want to be a millionaire.
The connection between the Thirteen Days, the Hundred Days and the 358/2 days.
Your obsession with people named "ShaBreeze".
The fact that nobody in their right mind would name their kid ShaBreeze, Rusty, Osama, Hubert, or Dick.
People you know who have children with all the above names (unless they are famous already).
Black priests...CAN I GET AN AMEN?!
Anything that has qualified for WP:DAFT.
Why you clicked on WP:DAFT thinking it was something about Daft Punk.
How Brian Griffin's and Seth MacFarlane's voices sound the same.
Spoiling the ending to six feet under... they all die.
Where the guy from The Clash finally decided to go.
Green Day fanatics near you.
Where to find cheap ham.
Your plans to make the biggest balloon, with the Wikipedia logo on it, at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
The fact that nobody knows the difference between an edit war and an edit conflict.
Your cousin's fax machine number.
More entries involving non-humorous pop-culture references that we need like a hole in the head.
Your teapot.
The time you roasted marshmallows in Centralia, Pennsylvania.
Hardcore soaps.
Humorous AfD debate results: "speedy flush", etc.
How fat someone's mother is.
How hard it is to find the Any key.
How your dogcow won Best in Show at the Internet Pet Show (since the latter is nonexistent).
Why your relationship ending was not your fault.
Why your compass broke.
Statistical proof that only the good die young.
Why catching STIs are easier than catching Pokémon in 2010.
How Chavs will kill all of the Emo's some day.
That guy that killed your father.
The impermeable smell of stir fry that pervades and pleasantly wafts through your school.
How to kill with a knork.
That rascal that stole your steamboat!
A chart organizing each engine on the Island of Sodor by the number of times they pulled passengers. Put that kind of thing on your own fansite.
A list of standing statues in Fallen Monument Park.
Why terrorism plots make good material for deadpan comedy skits.
The category: Colleges with statues of hands on their grounds.
The wild keg party your neighbors are keeping you up with, and how you're browsing Wikipedia to pass the time, and why you wish you could have been invited.
People who have been called "sandwich brain".
Your mansion.
Why this page has a table of contents.
Why this is "infotainment".
The fact that Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
How far Santa would get before being shot down by NORAD.
Nazi laundromats.
Why your pet may be smarter than you.
Why to never let the noob operate the drill.
Your stuffed Dr. Phil doll.
Evil Bob's (whose?) hands.
Why I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids.
How to rule the world.
Why articles about random Pokémon species like Meowth or Snorlax keep popping out of nowhere.
How to clone Pokémon using methods that involve submerging your game cartridge, hooking your DS up to a substation, and giving somebody your PIN.
The time a Dadaist came up to you riding a pig, pointed a trombone at your face, and demanded you give him all your patio furniture.
How little green men would most certainly be hated by the KKK.
Your toothless neighbor who calls lawn mower racing "NASCAR".
Pete the Buzz-cut kid (again, who?)
Why Ed is the best Ed, Edd n Eddy character ever, followed closely by Plank.
Your government teacher's bad haircut.
Why TurboTax is the greatest RPG of the modern era.
Cheat codes for TurboTax.
Why flour is very dirty.
Your favorite episode of The Fairly OddParents.
Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense.
Democracy™
Höw tö gïvë yöür hëävÿ mëtäl bänd thät Gërmän fëël.
How much you hate those idiots who think the world is going to end in Dec. 2012.
The fact that you actually read this entire article.
How hard it is to tell if Dr. Katz has a Seizure.
How much weight you have recently lost.
What happens to anybody who doesn't read the rules from now on!
The bloodthirsty chess cult that sacrifices shrews to Bobby Fischer.
Your jealousy of how long Sephiroth's sword is.
How U2 moves in mysterious ways.
People you laugh at for attempting to research nonexistent bands you made up.
Better titles for an animated film than How to Train Your Dragon.
Theoretical TV sitcoms bearing similar names to your local retirement community.
Your great-uncle's personal ads.
Keith Urban the pro wrestler.
How much stuff you could get with two red paperclips.
How unfair it is that you got suspended for editing Wikipedia at school, but the teachers browse for Russian brides all day long.
How you dressed up in a skintight bodysuit and acted like a living gold statue for a measly $50.
The fact that George Carlin is narrating your life.
Random 〈 shapes ∆ found ⋈ in ∇ the ∂ math ∗ section.
The underpaid guy dancing on the street corner to advertise a tax service.
List entry writer's block. (If you have it, get out of here right now!)
How you thought your name was weird, until you met this guy.
Your painful fetish for lava lamps.
Aging secretaries who say "Kiss my grits" way too often for comfort.
The librarian across the room who is obsessed with her sandwich, to the point of keeping it for three weeks.
Chickety China and the Chinese Chicken.
What we don't need.
The fact that you ate them all.
How cool it would be to see Robert Byrd beat John McCain at a fist-fight.
How you know when you are going to lose your job.
The fact that Richard Nixon got away with breaking the law by wearing a disguise.
Your favorite candy.
The Beard Liberation Front's death threats to prevent you from shaving.
Conspiracy theories involving The Play.
How you nearly died from the chubby bunny.
How to cure insomnia.
Hraejudafhngaksh.
The T-shirt you saw your friend wearing today.
The T-shirt you saw yourself wearing today.
Your plans to be the first person on the Moon.
The 1970's.
How whiny kids are when they play Mario Super Sluggers.
Your best friend's Communist tendencies.
Times you've spotted Lady Gaga in regular clothes!
Why nobody understands what XD means.
How you never knew that Alice Cooper was a man until too late...
Memories of your Bicentennial party.
The Janitor's Ghost (yet again, who the heck?).
How Evil Bob, Pete the Buzz-Cut Kid, and The Janitor's ghost formed a band and gave it a very original name.
...Stop asking for MTV already!
How Reaganomics robbed you of money.
Where you edit Wikipedia at night.
The fact that there's a -0, but nobody believes you when you tell them.
How often you rehearse your evil laugh.
Big Brother.
[1985] How you're still living in 1985, and you are thusly confused about everyday life, such as finding out that Mötley Crüe is now classic rock, as well as many other things, so you take a Prozac everyday to prevent yourself from sinking into utter depression, and obsess about Duran Duran and Wham!, and whittle your meaningless life away until you can make time go back to that simpler era before Nirvana, when there was still music on MTV, and reminisce until your high-schoolers tell you that you're uncool.
A list of 150 people who are cooler than Mitt Romney.
V.F.D.
A list of citizens of Argleton.
Why you still laugh when Republicans get married.
Extremely stupid wars.
However bad he was as President, you can't deny George W. Bush was a casual fellow.
Your favorite superhero.
Fighting with The Bus Uncle.
Your obsession with unusual articles.
Conundrum: Is this entry a fictitious entry?
How you laugh at people who think SpongeBob's voice is too high for progressive rock.
How you finally made up with the System Idle Process.
Your favorite episode of any TV show, since it probably has and article about it already, and if not, it's not worthy to write about.
How the world never ends when it's supposed to.
The undeniable, everpresent, blaring fact that this list is the BEST!

[edit] 2001-3000: The Modern Era

How you dispute the above fact and think you're a "rebel"
How someone can dispute a fact.
The meaning of life.
How you have no friends.
How you think you have friends.
How you used to watch the show Friends.
How you cried during the series finale.
How you later cried at the death of Tony Almeida.
How you had a party when you found out he was alive.
And how you committed suicide when you found out he was bad.
And how can still post after committing suicide.
And how this list, like the world, should end at 2012.
how you dont got no good gramar nor aint got spelin eether
The Grandfather Paradox.
What the future holds.
Fearing the demise of satin
Your discovery of how when you turn on NumLock and hold Alt while pressing numbers, you make funny symbols.
Why your favorite band is your favorite band
Reasons why any edits beyond 2000 are shark-jumping.
The reason we've brought the list beyond a nice, even 2000.
How you vandalize Wikipedia every chance you toast.
How Wikipedia has an article about James Bond, but not you!
What your girlfriend really is.
That one time in the shower when you poured custard all over your body while wearing a tuxedo.
Noobs (i.e. those who edited this list after 2020, and those who continue to edit beyond HERE).
A list of cheats for Driver Parallel Lines.
How its unfair you get banned from a site for doing something thats not even against the rules.
That one time you thought you say Miley Cyrus at Home Depot and ran up to her and asked for her autograph,but in reality it was just a stray boston terrier.
How John Lennon REALLY died.
IP users and their connection to evident periodphobia.
How much your friend brags about his new space heater.
When and when not to cross the streams.
Jimbo's lack of an afro.
Who you want to win the Super Bowl.
Mass linking confusion caused by reorganizing Pokémon lists.
Your growing fears of Charlie Sheen's bad shirt collection on Two and a Half Men.
AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAA!!
Your favorite Super Bowl ad ever.
The fact that Pete Townshend should play the guitar, and not sing!
Why there's a piped link to James Bond that reads James Bond on both sides. (Honestly, and you expect us to believe that noobs aren't taking over?)
Why Saints Row 3 still isn't in stores yet.
Why it's a bad day to be a fish if a milk truck falls in the river.
How many boys at your school want to get laid with Megan Fox
How n00bs use piped links to go to a completely random place other than the one stated.
The benefits of using good grammar.
How chillaxing died before it entered the dictionary.
One word to describe what it would look like if the Edgar Winter Group were black.
Your obsession with afros.
A list of people who have mistaken you for Bob Hope.
How offended you are that monkeys, bums, and high/drunk/exploding college kids are the only remaining editors of this list besides yourself.
Why Stefan Raab will win the Eurovision Song Contest 2010.
Your undying love for the Eurovision Song Contest (whatever it is...).
How most people are unaware of what an ellipsis is.
Your favorite episode of Recess.
How to properly keep 'em separated.
Your Darth Maul finger puppets.
How you bought Animal Crossing: City Folk a year ago and haven't played it yet.
Your time machine.
Your son.
What we used to do to vandals.
Why your cow needs earrings.
How many phone numbers you know by heart.
Why your grandmother's father's grandchild's daughter/son is so awesome. (Yes, you!)
How many links Wikipedia can make.
The many reasons why your entry is the most ... (fill in) on this list.
Your tryst with Spiderbait.
How the above ruined your life.
Internationally banned Pokémon Contest strategies.
Your obsession with Tenacious D, Relient K, and all other band names with a letter.
Bette Davis' eyes.
How your cat is gay.
Holland.
How asymmetrical you are.
The time Tom Morello committed PWNage on you on Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock.
The bully that stole your lunch money.
Lars Umlaut, from the cover of Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock, who your uncle swears is Slash's brother.
The remix of an annoying song you made.
How you don't practice Santeria.
Your long, hot shower.
A list of Republican Asian country singers with an overbite and a divorce.
Your ex.
How Obama is from Kenya.
Why all comedy programs are run by Democrats: the only jokes Republicans seem to know involve bashing other people.
The time you sat on a Professor's Cube.
How you bought stock in AIG, thinking it was a good idea at the time...
How much you love(d) Enron.
How much you STILL love your ex even though he/she ripped your heart out and ignores your very existence to this day.
The advantages of listening to Blink-182 while showering.
Your ownage Hot Wheels set.
How he treats you like men, by letting you wear earrings.
How you made a band called Czech Republic and called it Prague rock, get it? :)
The colloquial name for lowest possible passing score on the U.S.Dental-Dermatology medical board exams: "By the skin of one's teeth".
Where you should go if you want this list's evil counterpart.
Why you wondered this was a list of 1,000. Instead its 9,000.
How you appear to be unable to count.
The spy who loved you.
How nobody at school knows who Cheap Trick is.
Why (insert Facebook app) is the (insert superlative) app on Facebook.
Piped links
Why Benedict Arnold was just a misguided idiot, and how you kick people who say that.
How Obama is a piece of demo crap.
How entry 2083 doesn't need a citation...just read this list.
How Family Guy beat Sarah Palin.
The time a brawl turned into an impromptu drum circle.
CN's beard.
Why you shouldn't blink.
Mr. Wilson's Very Special Christmas.
Spoilers about the above: he gets arrested (again).
How upset you are about the spoilers.
The profane, comedic animé fan that sits next to you in pep band.
How gay the Hamburglar is.
Who he is gay with.
How Loki is awesome, and how sad you are you can't make an article about how awesome he is, and you don't have an account so you can't talk about how awesome he is, and how when you clicked on talk, you got to calamari.
How you now want calamari.
Your intense raging passion of your soul mate.
How you think the grammar on that last one was incorrect.
Heimdall, and how you want him dead in one hour or else... Dun dun DUNNN...
Muahahahaha... I have edited Wikipedia and how you want that to be played on television every hour.
How your keyboard is weird and you think it may be posessed by a ghost.
How vampires totally PWN ghosts, except for the Twilight vampires, who suck, and not blood.
How you hate the new singer of Nightwish, even though everyone should and Tarja Turunen should come back.
Your love of stupidity.
How totally totally totally is.
Fighting Cats
How Heimdall totally pwns Loki
What stops you from writing on this list.
The bizarre entity that murdered you with one glance.
Times your house was invaded while watching Access Hollywood (either at 4 or 7).
Your daughter.
The number 1,930,530,430,501.
Your friend on Mars.
How you dyed your skin white-ish with glitter, went outside with a nametag that read "Edward", and got mauled by 37,000 teenage girls.
How surprised you are that Robert Pattinson hasn't experienced this yet.
A list of the world's most expensive T-shirts.
Your obsession with making bizarre, suggestive, and dark jokes about fast-food mascots.
Who you think is God
How to re-toast your toast.
How not to re-toast your toast.
How not to toast your mom's toast
Various YouTube lets-players and game reviewers
People's obsessions with calamari and Twilight.
Said Xemnas: "Oh yeah...".
A list of all-too-generic words {i.e, pie, banana, noodle, monkey) that should be banned.
How you agree to disagree with all other editors.
How disappointed you are with your school's mascot.
How your web browser PWNz all other web browsers, and all people who disagree with this statement must be Republicans.
Why Betty is waaay hotter than Veronica.
Why Veronica is waaay hotter than Betty.
Why Jennifer is waaay hotter than Bailey.
Why Bailey is waaay hotter than Jennifer.
Why Ginger is waaay hotter than Mary Ann.
Why Mary Ann is waaay hotter than Ginger.
Why Jessica Rabbit is waaay hotter than any of the above.
The great spam-fest of '10. (see above).
The likelihood that the list of similar edits above weren't made by the same editor.
Reasons people care anyway.
Reasons you don't care about (insert controversial topic here) and never will.
How nobody believes you that there's a song called "Cows" that you didn't make up.
How hesitant you are to link "Cows".
The time you sang "Cows" constantly to your friends, who eventually shoved you in a bag and dumped you in the river.
How you managed to escape.
The fact that you haven't been kidnapped by a band of crazed, hungry hamsters who forced you to put sundry and mind-numbing edits to this list, when the fact is that you can come up with various sundry, trite, corny, generic, dull, bizarre, and overall soul-crushing entries by yourself.
Jay Leno playing Grover Cleveland. As predicted.
How you have the shivers right now.
Who you'd like to thank.
Stop! Wiki time.
Nailing oatmeal to the wall.
Your favorite ChapStick flavor.
Goths: and their effects on safe oral hygiene.
The fact that list entries are becoming too short so you plan on making long ones even if they make no sense and just ramble on and on and on and on.
The spam you sent out to Iraq. [and how moldy it is]
That time you read all 2172 entries on the thousand things not to write a wikipedia article article, which at this moment has 1,172 more enries than it is purported to have.
Why this list has ~~1172~~ 1173 more entries than it originally was intended to.
Kanye West's obsession with Beyonce.
Suivandalism (or the process of vandalizing your own ~~ahwuehpaeahwot@!#$ihaweroth~~ content).
How you are secretly hannah montana. And how you are dating Justin Beiber.
William Shakespeare's influence on the ouevre of Mel Brooks
How when (insert boy name) left you for no apparent reason you felt exactly like Bella Swan in New Moon.
How Julius Caesar died 2054 years ago today.
The metric unit of fanboyism: the kilofan, equivalent to 1000 times the amount Steve Martin enjoys Wings.
What this links to
How this list offends you.
Your obsession with the phrase, "How now, brown cow" and all the trouble it got you in.
The ghetto-style Buffalo Wild Wings that charged you a fortune for a beverage.
How you brought politics to this list. Thanks a lot, punk.
WEhjsatr hjaspopowemnas wehgernb yuoiiu jhuity 21 nbiuytytoimnas sart trhgre assamnwe troimnew. (What happens when you hit 2 buttons at the same time)
The fact that fish sticks.
The fact that root beer floats.
How your editor with a really deep voice ran off to sing bass for The Temptations.
Your obsession with drawing pictures of dinner parties attended by the members of Dream Theater, waited on by Rodney Dangerfield clones, and hosted by HAL.
The bad habit you tried to quit.
How you relapsed after quitting your bad habit.
How all the arrows on your browser got changed to dollar signs for no reason.
Your thoughts on who they named selenium after.
Interviews with dead celebrities that you hosted.
Muslims are terrorists.
The tendency of your computer-programming colleagues to change each other's password to "THECAT".
A list of things that Boba Fett's ship looks like.
The move "Super Glitch".
How you complain that "GLIT#CH" keeps messing up your game.
Your love for making random video game references.
Why All Jews carry secret bags of gold with them at all times.
That Dog that winked at you
Cheryl Cole and Selena Gomez's Hotness
Why you are running out of ideas for things to put on this list, as most your ideas have been already used.
Why You're Gay
The fact that there's a period at the end of a sentence.
Your secret formula for humorous list entries.
People who abbreviate Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep as BS.
The creators of the aforementioned game.
The difference between no and NO
Bush-league hedge clippers.
How the Ice Climbers were abducted by the Freemasons.
Pretty much anything that is yours.
The average age of the list editors.
How rock and roll music taught you everything about math: 2+2=5, 1+1=3, and fourteen comes after three.
What a cool person I am.
What a cool person you are
What a cool person YO MAMA is
What a un-cool person I am
What a un-cool person you are
What a un-cool person YO MAMA is
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me! I don't see anyone else here...You talkin' to me?
It's your move. It's your move. Make your move.
LAST HA HA!
How you decided to edit after the "last".
Anything Peter Griffin has done at any given time.
The weird music video you got lured into at the supermarket.
How all these articles keep dying.
How you died and came back.
How after you died and came back, you decided to add to the list.
Your new pet lion, tiger, and bear, oh my!
How Godzilla beat King Kong in a secret ending
How kldfjf your ddds Keyboard hjfdhkdfhd is ajdj not working fdhsdfj and is typing ssdkjldlsj random letters fjfldj and you can't jhkhk delte fjfdkl them.
Quotes from man-date movies (Pineapple Express, The Hangover, Step Brothers) that you thought were awesome.
The time you did the Macarena at a Proclaimers concert.
Amadeus.
Bicyclists who stalk you.
Why we should all bow down to the Ayatollah. But only in Iran.
John McCain's non-maverickosity.
Reasons not to have anal sex. No matter how funny the conversation you had at lunch with your girl-friends was.
How you thought doing the above made children.
Yelling "Woo-hoo!".
What drives you to think death is to be laughed at. Death is not funny. Except for Death on Family Guy.
Your favorite episode of The Honeymooners.
Your least favorite episode of The Honeymooners.
How your sister wanted you to edit this page in Wikipedia because she is so bored and how very annoying it is
How your guinea pig keeps staring at you because SHE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE THINKING
How much you hate it when you type a great big long paragraph to someone on facebook and they just put 'lol'
How much you hate it when you try to have a conversation with someone on facebook and all they say is 'lol'.
Your Facebook status.
How Justin Bieber sings so weird.
The time you went to the pub.
Whoa! Userbox Overload!
Things you could possibly perceive as funny.
The time God sold His Escalade...
..and how Billy Joel bought it and called it a Cadillac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac...
...and then how Bruce Springsteen bought it and painted it pink.
Why you like big butts.
That one guy who won the 1983 World Series of Poker with a Joker, a Get Out of Jail Free Card, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
That one micronation that virtually no one knows about...yet, or any non-notable micronation for that matter.
America's love for hamburgers, why the allies can't compromise on anything, or Ukraine's breast size.
...Not to mention Canada's invisibility.
How you hate the Mysterious Visitor from the East.
Why you are like the guy who plays Obama on Saturday Night Live.
Those games that massively vary in popularity from region to region.
Those games that have a massive change in an area that causes massive protest.
Why you like using the word massive so much.
That language you invented.
The time you the time you the time you...overloaded Wikipedia with articles on the time you did stuff.
That one building you built.
Why you hate that your building got an unnecessary name change.
The pole in your backyard.
How your pen pal's backyard pole got destroyed.
How you believe that a ghost forced someone to make entry 1001 on this list.
That red-haired guy who always calls Peter Griffin a big, fat phony!
Body bags filled with Cheetos.
DUN dun DUN dun dun DUN dun dun DUN dun dun dun DUN DUN dun dun DUN DUN DUN HE HE HE
Doing the above WHILE shooting TIE fighters and why it lowers your accuracy.
How many Family Guy references you think this list can make before everyone gets irritated. (answer: 336)
Why you don't care that some people are irritated by the lot of Family Guy references on this list.
Why some things should be banned during solar storms.
Why you don't have to go to school.
Your daily routine, and why it's so exciting, like, seriously!
How your refrigerator runs.
How to get 100 Trillion Dollars.
What you're going to buy with your 100 trillion dollars.
Why you're mad that you can't buy anything with your 100 trillion dollars.
How many times you didn't laugh at something on this list.
How to properly search for treasure.
How war was beginning, and how your base then became the property of someone else.
How there is no bubblegum in Bubblegum Crisis.
How many hours you spent reading this list.
Ways to stop conversations about Twilight, such as how it's about a girl's choice between bestiality and necrophilia.
David Bowie's package.
Or your wishes of his lack thereof.
How your punk band is so defiant, it doesn't play punk.
Your cavities.
Your poisonous fillings.
Queer types of car wax sold primarily in Portugal that smell suspiciously of pot and have profane pop culture references written underneath the ingredients.
How to win American Idol, America's Next Top Model and America's Got Talent in one year.
Test drives of the Nissan Midget-Mauler.
Those new chicken sandwiches at KFC (whatever it may be).
John he.
George Lopez's preferred snack cracker.
Mr. Noodle.
Mr. Noodle's cousin Mr. Noodle.
Things that annoy you.
Your favorite Death Note character.
Why you're not posting something to this list.
The reason Ovechkin hasn't won a stanley cup yet.
Why Wikipedia humor is terrible.
Your Last Report Card Grade.
How Awesome Your Computer Is.
How much RAM your computer has.
How much Hard Drive Space Your computer has.
Music-influenced hairstyle trends of preteens in the 13th century BC.
Your contributions to MfD debates without having a clue of what it's about.
Internet-based friends and enemies.
Phi, and what it's useful for.
How close Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet is to naughty films.
How ordinary Luhrmann's version of that same film is.
[2,323] 23.
The funniest helicopter you have ever seen.
Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series. Or, for that matter, any abridged series in general.
The time you broke your glasses.
The feelings of the kite that was gobbled by the neighbor's tree.
When your friend beat you at Chinese Checkers last Tuesday.
How your family doesn't love you anymore since you became obsessed with this stupid page.
Or how you don't love them and instead love this page.
Why you hate school exams.
Or why you love school exams.
What image is on the socks that your wearing right now.
The new shoes you wear with those socks.
The time you won a Xiaolin Showdown against James Cameron.
How noisy teenagers are at movie theaters.
Why kindergarteners are sexist.
iHow iYou iAre iObsessed iWith iPods, iPads, iMacs, iAnd iOther iWords.
Carnivorous shoelaces.
Anything on a stick.
About the last time you've seen a grown man naked, or your trip to a Turkish prison.
Entering random numbers, like "4 8 15 16 23 42", just because you think the world is going to end if you don't, or something,. . .
Some repeating code.
The time animals went Over the Hedge to find Nemo.
Or the time were somebody went Up and met an incredible family.
How bad your handwriting is.
How you kicked your football into the garden hedge five times in one day.
What you are scared of.
Your musical campaign against fried chicken.
How you plan to get in the last word on Wikipedia (Hint: you never will).
How much you suck at football.
The "Replaced content with" tag, and why it makes you laugh.
That one time you were tempted to vandalize Wikipedia a bit and have some fun.
#Whatwill ^{[disambiguation needed ]} happ'en i_{f you're notareful w''it<small>h'' wik</small>i}_text.
Your pet's life (or yours)
Bacon. Definitely not.
How you completely wasted your life writing in the comedy section of Wikipedia.
How, when people are laughing at you for editing the humor section, they're laughing at God.
Your secret hate club on Queen Bitch at school.
How the birth scene in Breaking Dawn made you want to throw up.
Stewie Griffin's confusing sexual preferences.
Your plans to shoot out your school in hope of attention
How everything is Canada's fault
How long you took thinking of something funny to put at the end of this list but ended up trying to be clever instead.
The alarming number of E's on this page.
The alarming number of Pokéwalkers you've witnessed in public.
A Freudian analysis of Dinosaur Train.
Your summer school instructor, and how they are a (insert profane noun).
List of people residing on planet Earth.
Your millionth edit.
A day in the life of a Wikipedian.
Chronicles of when you played Wii.
The history of your Wikipedianship.
Why the left podium (or right if you are a contestant) is best on Jeopardy!.
This list.
Space Eels!
The deli on your block.
Your fanscript for Toy Story 4.
How to say "You lost the Game" in every known language in the world.
A band that doesn't even exist yet!
Farting in Ireland
That time when the pope drove all the way to Draffenville, Kentucky in a jalopy to strangle your dog with a garden hose.
That time when I drove all the way to Draffenville, Kentucky in a jalopy to strangle the pope with your dog. (note: see above)
The time you shot Joe.
The time your friend shot Joe.
The time you shot Joe with a knife.
The time Bobby shot the sheriff.
The time somebody shot J.R.
All those times you shot the President.
The time Charlton Heston shot you!
Scathing reviews of FOX season premieres.
Canceled FOX programs.
The United States' two-front nuclear war on the American Southwest and small islands in the South Pacific.
How you actually stole that from The Onion and won't give them credit for it.
This list's current inability to make anyone laugh (sheds single tear).
Obama's basketball prowess.
Due Date, and how the excessive previews on FOX gave you the illusion that you already saw it.
...But seriously, folks, how about PC, eh?
Sus intentos de traducir al español de esta lista, pero ya que no saben español, que utiliza el traductor de Google en su lugar.
Complaints that you don't know Spanish either, and think Spanish profanity may be concealed in the above entry. (No worries, go translate it yourself).
How your hoe is so much better than your bro.
How bros should go before hoes.
The time you got high.
Other edible bands you know. (see entry 1774)
Seriously, now.
Nickelback.
Dimefront.
The exact calculated probability of a flipped coin landing on its side.
Why Zelda is a whore, because "zeld" is the Hylian word for prostitute.
How many people thought there might be a clever follow-up pun here.
ZELDers, or zeldERS.
How that last one was the clever pun.
Inside references.
What's telling you to kill them all the time.
Why UMG and WMG are ruining the freedoms of Youtubers.
Why some things on this list got skipped (See 2101)
Your favorite stunt-performing list.
Your theory behind just why toasters toast toast.
O p i n ions
Why Y'golonac should be made an honorary Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the Bath.
A list of obviously recurring themes in this list.
Your obsession with awesome things.
A list of obviously redundant things in this list.
A list of obviously ridiculous thongs in this list.
A list of sacked editors in this l-
Why you think war is fantastic.
Your theory that the Fatman from Jake and the Fatman is the same character as Fatman from Metal Gear Solid 2.
Your theory that Jake from Jake and the Fatman is the same character as Jake from Adventure Time, but you're not about to argue which is lesser.
The truth of the proposition that while mares and does eat oats, little lambs eat ivy.
Why you are Team-Jacob
Why you are Team-Edward
The hilarious joke you made up at school yesterday
Highly disabled children whose skill at a classic style of mechanical arcade game is far above average.
How you rigged the 1984 United States presidential election using a dead cat and a bottle of whiskey.
How the entire year of 1984 was rigged in general.
Why you are Team-Wilford.
How the new subtitles screw up many different entries in this list and why you are ranting about it (for example, 1776 and 2323)
Why you think war ISN'T fantastic.
The number, and potential transferrability, of balls possesed by the current U.S. Secretary of State.
The possibility of David Lynch and Berke Breathed collaborating on a film entitled Outland Empire, and why they should do so.
Why Oprah is about to rule TV.
How Friday Nights have NOTHING on.
What your poo looks like.
What A. A. Milne's Pooh looks like.
The time you went to a Clippers game and the Clippers weren't even there.
A list of the youngest persons on earth, updated each time a person is born, and listing the length of time each person held the title of World's Youngest Person.
The war between Old MacDonald and McDonalds.
The war between Jack MacDougall and MacDougall's.
How much older you are than Wikipedia, and why that gives you the rule of seniority, and therefore you are more right than Wikipedia.
Physical visual evidence that Count Dooku may be considered a pirate.
How you can get high off this list.
The one-act play you wrote, directed, produced, starred in, and attended.
Even if you did so all at the same time.
How ugly James Carville is.
Bloodthirsty zombie pyromaniacs on ice!
Similarities between "Fool in the Rain" and the theme from Rugrats.
How this list is wasting your time.
A censored version of this list with all the inside jokes filtered out. (Actually, feel free. Make one)
Your surplus of racist lawn art.
The number of seconds in a year.
The money in your couch.
That time when you arrived three hours early to your arraignment and found the judge watching a porno on his iPhone.
How you lost your virginity to SpongeBob SquarePants.
A eulogy for SpongeBob SquarePants, who you hope really is dead now.
Whether or whether not Jay Cutler quit.
A list of Wikipedia articles.
A list of cuss words.
Who would win in a war between the Viagra guy and the couple in the Cialis bathtubs.
Cam Newton's dad.
Why the Chia Obama is racist.
How much you loved ER, and how it made you go to the ER.
Why everybody should listen to Minus the Bear, Iron & Wine, They Might Be Giants, Better than Ezra, Them Crooked Vultures, or any other mildly obscure musical act with an odd name.
Why you don't call your fraternity a frat.
Why everybody should listen to Plus the Stoat, Copper & Vodka, They May or May Not Be Giants, Worse than Ezra, Them Straight Buzzards, or any other non-existant musical act with an odd name.
Products that should never merge.
The Twilight team you made up, like Team Anderson.
Carrot Top's Carrot Bottom.
Why Franktown Rocks.
How Google ruined YouTube since they bought it in 2006.
Dora the Murderer.
Not blinking.
That time when your English teacher confused Wilkie Collins with Jackie Collins and you had to write a book report on The Stud.
Why your recent edits were deleted.
The cursed goat.
How Chuck Norris scares the Boogey Man.
How Chuck Palahniuk scares the Bogey Man.
The time you seriously thought puppies could have kittens.
How people misspell Bogeyman.
The proof of $1 + 1 = 2$ .
Post-colonialist perspectives on the historical, psychological, sociological, cultural, counter-cultural, horticultural, and agricultural significance of David Lloyd George's left eyebrow.
Wumbology.
ORT.
The fact that you have frequent Deja Vu.
A guy named Jim Jom Jew.
The fact that you have frequent Deja Vu.
Writing an article within an article within an article within an article.
How you must go deeper than that.
How when you continuously scroll up on this list, you can't help letting your head slowly turn upwards.
How you pause whenever scrolling up on this list and an entry is more than two lines long.
How you are starting to realize that about 2500 of the entries on this list wouldn't even start to be considered being made into an article (which, in fact, sort of ties into this article).
How although the number 2012 on this list has something to do with the end of the world, number 666 has nothing to do with the devil (although a few entries before it does).
How you once accidentally gave your professor a piece of bellybutton lint instead of a term paper, and it received an A-.
How to prove $1+1\not=2$
Anything from Uncyclopedia
The reasons to believe Uncyclopedia and not Wikipedia.
How to prove $W i k i p e d i a > U n c y c l o p e d i a$ .
How your painful charley horse reminds you of Charlie the Unicorn from the Internet.
Your ska supergroup, Less than the Bandits of the Mighty Mighty Reel Big Streetlight -22's.
A meticulously detailed account of what you caught your roommate and his girlfriend doing in the back of your car, complete with logistical and biomechanical diagrams.
How $e^{i\pi}\not=-1$ if $π = 3.141592654589793238...$
How this page lacks references.
How the page references lacks references.
How bored one must have to be to edit this page anymore.
Sometimes, a person might put down a full sentence, such as this one, for a list entry. You should not write an article about that sentence.
How Venomoths are moths
Or how Weepinbells are bells
And definitley not how Turtwigs are twigs.
Your crush on Justin Bieber
Your complaints about how bad of an actor Jean Claude Van-Damme is.
Your crush on Justin Martyr
How you used sodium azide to kill your partner
How you tested sodium azide on your pet
How you are sicker than Graham Young
How Graham Young is sicker than you
The uses of Skewe's number-54.56 in modern south-Bangladeshi lemon farming.
How Osama got pwn'd by Obama
How FOX News thought Obama got pwn'd by Osama.
A bunch of blue which could never be an article so you just link it to something that has nothing to do with that, then boast that there is an article about it when it really just links to-well, why the heck not make YOU have to figure that out
How much your tight 'fro has grown in volume each day.
A list of newest tricks, to complement this list
A disturbingly elaborate list of parallels between Teletubbies and the works of the Marquis de Sade.
How you met Mickey Mouse
10,000,000 reasons why you hate SpongeBob SquarePants
When you purposefully wore a diaper
How you beat New Super Mario Bros.
The upcoming Chinese video game console that nobody has heard about.
The iPad 7
A top secret goverment weapon that nobody has heard about (and nobody should have heard about).
How you beat your friend in a belching contest
The time machine, shrink ray, or other science fictional nonsense.
A prank you played on your next-door neighbor.
A prank your next-door neighbor played on you.
How your mad about that prank your next-door neighbor played on you.
How you ate a giant hamburger.
The fatest cat you have ever seen.
The cult you started in your basement to worship the Great Polokus.
How a crossover between SpongeBob SquarePants and Fish Hooks is entirely possible despite the different channels they're on because Jimmy Neutron and Fairly OddParents did the same thing, and they weren't even the same animation style!
The first time you shot a deer with your rifle.
The first time you shot a person with your rifle.
The first time you disposed of a dead body.
How you tried to read your five-year old nephew a bedtime story, but somehow ended up broadcasting Goatse on national television.
Peach in a Cup - because true adherents wish the purity of our great religion to be preserved eternally. Plus it is rather difficult to maintain neutrality regarding Its Radiant Perfection.
Your favorite Regular Show catchphrase.
How Regular Show is hilarious and creepy at the same time.
YouTube videos about characters from preschool shows killing each other.
Stupid shirts featuring small sparrows on a background of dark green, usually bought by people's grandparents.
Redundant entries that are redundant.
How upset total freaks get when links which are blue turn purple after they're clicked.
Links that take you to a completely random place.
How number 2502 is, in fact, wrong. Britney Spears is the devil and the world is not going to end in 2012.
How you actually read all these, you legend... lol
How simply reading 2500+ lines of text doesn't qualify one as a "legend" except in certain circles.
The fact that most entries now have something to do with the list itself.
How you impersonated as a minority.
How you impersonated Tom Cruise in Minority Report.
What two cans of paint thinner and a German weightlifter have anything to do with Pokémon.
How nerdy one must be to put the accent on the é in "Pokémon".
Where one can go to comment on this list.
cheese. that was a joke. i was joking. sorry.
Therman Merman
Thy cup runneth over!
Jackson Road, and no matter how many relatives it contains.
How you've actually written articles about everything on this list.
How you've set the world record for most speedily-deleted articles.
How you can get away with writing at least 137 of these without them being speedily deleted.
How there is evidence of a wolpertinger in the wild.
Why radiation is healthy.
Your favorite song.
How dancing around a fire naked doesn't make you cool.
How dancing around a fire clothed makes you awesome.
How you're adding tens of hundreds of entries to this list to make the 3001-? section.
How you're supposed to be writing but think this is more fun.
Why creative writing should be an appropriate form of payment.
That one time when you took care of your mom's neighbor's cousin's friend's mother's grandson's aunt's untrained dog.
How to successfully get dog stains out of your carpet.
How to unsuccessfully get borscht stains out of your carpet.
The time you spent $30,800,000 on a book you didn't read.
Why working from home is ultimately a bad idea.
How you don't get over half the jokes on this list.
The time you wrote an article that was actually something that this list told you not to write about, but since it's categorized as humor, you deny the invalidity of your statement.
The most common beginning word of list entries.
Sir Chubby's Xylophone Ranch and its validity in real-life calculus diagrams.
What you hate about this list.
What pressing Ctrl-Alt-Shift-8 does on an iMac.
How you freaked out when you first played a Nintendo 3DS.
The StarCraft fansite that your neighbor vandalized.
The real way John F. Kennedy died.
Getting shot in the face.
The agony of surviving a shot to the face. (We don't want to know)
A list of games for the Wii U that you have created.
How you don't understand the point of Angry Birds.
The fact that only angry birds dislike Angry Birds.
Your favorite list entry/Your least favorite list entry.
The crack cocaine you put inside the World Cup trophy.
How video games are addicting and should be banned.
How Charlie Sheen is losing...
The time your face was on the front side of some multimedia commentary periodical.
The album you just stole.
How Mountain Dew is way better than Sun Drop, or vice versa.
People who don't know what "vice versa" means.
C'mon, we know you're just skimming these. Since you won't read this one, the password is "6 billion Popsicle doors with red inversions".
How you tried entering that password somewhere even though it was made off the top of some IP user's head.
6 billion Popsicle doors with red inversions.
Making Fight Club and Russian Reversal gags at the same time. (In Soviet Russia, Fight Club doesn't discuss you!)
Ric Ocasek's dental insurance policy, and how insufficient it is.
Why you hope California breaks away from the rest of America.
Why you hope Minnesota breaks away from the rest of the world.
People you know from California or Minnesota who are ready to sue for libel.
How nothing is popular anymore.
The fact that you've been to Neuschwanstein castle too many times (Same Schloß, different day).
How reading this list from the bottom up makes less sense, but is funnier.
How you drop it like it's hot.
How you drop it like it's cold.
How you drop it like it's warm.
How you drop it like it's cool.
How you drop it like it's lukewarm.
How you drop it like it lacks temperature.
How to successfully hide Easter eggs all over the site that immediately lead back to a user subpage where there's a massive Wikipedia party.
The number of jokes you can create that begin with "knock knock."
The potato robots. They live.
Undisputed evidence of the WikiPuma.
Disputed evidence of the WikiPuma.
Undisputed evidence of Grandma after getting run over by a reindeer.
Why staring at somebody doesn't make you weird.
Every single time you've accidentally broken a stick.
A play-by-play of the memorial service for the sticks you've broken.
An article that says "Holla!" 1,047 times.
An article within an article within an article.
A short story featuring the characters from your unpublished novel.
More about Franklin Pierce, the fourteenth president of the United States of America.
How not linking to anything makes you cool.
How they're always watching you, even when you sleep.
The most adorable lineart you've ever seen.
Why Katakata x Erkala is the sweetest literary couple ever.
A website you think would be cool but that doesn't really exist.
Every paradox that has ever been thought up.
How many times you blink in a week.
Why middle school is possibly the worst time of your life.
More about Franklin Pierce. He's so awesome, he deserves three Wikipedia entries.
How to defeat the great Tabuu, even his butterfly attack.
Good names for post-apocalyptic cities.
Bad names for post-apocalyptic cities.
Your appearance in miniscule, glorifying detail.
A picture of yourself to compare to the article above.
An article that is just the longest word in the world.
How since the longest word in the world has two hyphens and a zero, the honor should be passed down to pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
How to deal with your hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia after reading those past two articles.
Why somebody hasn't written about the lyngbakr already. JUST MAKE THE ARTICLE YOURSELF!
On how making a whole article yourself is hard work, you hypocrite.
On how "you hypocrite" wasn't exactly the right word to describe what you were trying to say.
Your stuffed animal collection, complete with animal, coloring, name, and manufacturer. Don't forget pictures of your favorites!
The number of subpages in the Wikiverse.
The Wikiverse.
The hierarchy of the Wikiverse.
The flora of the Wikiverse (since we have fauna.)
Why the WikiPuma section of the WikiCat page should be deleted.
How to make a WikiFauna page. Oh wait, PLEASE make that page.
Anything else about the Wikiverse. That's my job.
Why a certain website is evil because a user gave you malware twice.
Storybird.
You blinked again.
How you're so much of a rebel you dispute all the above facts.
The spitting gargoyle.
The other forms of gargoyle.
Why taking little balloons that have names of graduates on them is not the same as stealing their identities.
The one time you were such a rebel you released a balloon that it said not to release.
Your favorite Old Navy jingle. Mine is Vay-Cay Shway.
On second thought, it's Those Tied Shorts You're Wearing.
Or maybe It's Your Neighborhood Hottie.
Or perhaps The Ankle Show.
The person who's watching you from afar.
The person who's watching you from a close range.
When you drove a car on a dare at age ten.
Why you should come pick my roses.
Why you should NEVER look up pictures of Mosskit or Badgerpaw.
Why Honeyfern is a bad idea too.
Your dream where a six-year-old kid shot you to death with a rifle.
How stopping at 2700 would have made you such a rebel.
How cool you are for writing 62 of these in fifteen minutes.
Chocolate rain.
The forest spirits that you saw in your pool.
The end of Wikipedia. It is only a myth, sweetie. Now go back to sleep.
Kat Skratch, femme rapper on the rise.
The secret... Kat Skratch is actually a WikiPuma!
Your visitor.
Bahama llamas, yet another myth of Wikipedia.
The Book of Wikipedian myths. That's my job!
The Hall of Tortured Souls hidden in Microsoft Excel 1995. Nobody should know.
Wiki-Heaven. Nobody should know about this either.
I has a squawel.
The members of your fraternity.
The members of your sorority... wait, nevermind.
How number 2720 is not jumping the shark... it's jumping the dolphin.
How Uncyclopedia is better than Wikipedia. This is because it is a lie.
The bad reasons to replace every disambiguation and redirect page with a picture of longcat.
The good reasons to replace every disambiguation and redirect page with a picture of longcat.
The excellent reasons to replace every disambiguation and redirect page wiht a picture of longcat.
The day that you replaced every disambiguation and redirect page with a picture of longcat.
The 432 things that you wanted to post here but didn't because you didn't want your writing to be edited, used, and redistributed at will.
The story of every single tooth you have ever lost, complete with the day and time down to the jiffy.
Why a jiffy is a real unit of time.
Why a jiffy and a zeptosecond are the same thing.
A compare-and-contrast for Fonzie and Fozzie Bear.
Your word-cloud created with Wordle.
WikiLore, the official title for the Book of Wikipedian Myths. We don't need an article about something within our site.
The poll that you made on SurveyMonkey.
The inner evilness of Dora the Explorer.
Every swear word in the English, German, and Czech languages.
2 + 2 = 5. We've been over this already.
Why you shouldn't join the Wikipedia Department of Fun.
Your great-gramma's chocolate chip brownie recipe.
Your nephew's brother's grandmother's best friend's cousin's niece's roommate's dog's nose.
How by clicking the "Save Page" button, you agree to the Terms of Use, and you irrevocable agree to release your contrbution under the CC-BY-SA 3.0 License and the GFDL.
How you also agree that a hyperlink or URL is sufficient attribution under the Creative Commons license.
How long you stared at your computer in blankness after reading the past two articles.
How thinking up 100 of these makes you a legend. I AM A LEGEND!
Why you should, DANCE MONKEY BOY, DANCE!
The time that you shook them maracas while dancing like a fiend.
I'm guessing that you blinked again.
The disparaging lack of blue links in this particular part of the list.
About why you has a sad.
The sheer mind-blowing awesomeness of Daniel Tosh meeting Matthew Inman and Joel MacHale. I'm still working on that; you can make it then.
How angry you get when entries in this list say "I."
Who might be responsible for those entries listing "I".
That time you went to jail and learned nobody actually plays harmonicas.
The pros and cons of a subpage featuring all of these suggestions.
How quickly you can go from number 2639 to 2750 without batting an eye.
Just kidding, you blinked a lot.
How if you get 100,000,000,000 and above on your Wikipediholism test you aren't a liar; you just love Wikipedia a little too much.
How the Dvorak keyboard just PWNED the QWERTY keyboard.
The place you know where the grass is REALLY greener.
That Hawk Harrelson phrase you really love.
When you went to a birthday party and there was no cake.
Where u iz in and what u iz doin in it.
Airplane food, Canned Bread, No Vertebra, Jellyfishing, and so on.
How Courage the Cowardly Dog is effing creepy!
Why we shouldn't be judged if we blink or not: to blink is human. Even Blink-182 is human.
Interrupting somebody who's editing Wikipedia to ask them how a water heater works.
Going to KFC and stealing all the sporks, cuz that's how ghetto you are.
Using present participles as formulas for list entry material.
Your red hooded sweatshirt.
How skateboarding is not a crime.
How all your edits now consist of writing on this list and how you classify yourself as a WikiLoser.
How you wasted all your time on Wikipedia and ended up in a van down by the RIVER!!
The dream you had when you squirted grafitti in someone's face, then you made love with Patrick Star as The original version is playing in the background.
How gay that last post was.
Random spam.
How you thought you'd found Stephen Hawking's long-lost evil twin using a state-of-the-art genetic database, but on closer inspection it turned out to be just a mutated green bean.
How even though America's economy is worse than ever everyone STILL wants to move there from wherever the *boop*, even places like Sweden.
[[Special:Random|Redlinks within bluelinks.]]
How your ergonomic keyboard never leaves you bored.
How the "eleven herbs and spices" in KFC's Original Recipe chicken are probably salt, pepper, and MSG
The collection of pet rocks you found in your mother's basement.
The collection of pogs you found in your mother's basement.
The collection of stolen political signs you found in your father's doghouse.
The time you liberated a pumpkin and it was chopped up with a hatchet.
How Alan just ate sofa pizza.
How Allen just ate Sofa Landver.
How Steve Jobs is secretly a wizard.
The epic city you built in Minecraft.
How a creeper destroyed a part of the epic city you built in Minecraft.
How two adolescents you met online who have an addiction for a 40-year old gameshow that you watched at your grandmother's place read the first 1000 of these and were cracking up at #832.
How those two pain in the necks who read the first 1000 of these in a Skype call have wasted precious time reading the next 1000 the next day and proving once and for all that geeks have no lives.
Why are you reading this? Because the Geoff Peterson suggested it on air!
The time you called the Guinness Book of World Records and got Guinness beer instead. Instead of finding out if reading all 2,791 of the above is a record, you drank 2,791 bottles of beer.
The hangover you got after drinking 2,791 bottles of beer.
The drunk texts you sent after drinking 2,791 bottles of beer.
An apology to the girls you sent drunk texts to after drinking 2,791 bottles of Guinness beer.
An apology to Wikipedia to putting the apology to the girls on there since they don't believe in Wikipedia.
A play-by-play of the latest episode of Yo Gabba Gabba.
Your Welsh professor's luxurious mustache.
Your angry marching band teacher.
His lack of mustache, but luxurious beard.
Why WordPad totally pwns Notepad in ever way possible.
How the Pick 'N' Save Monopoly game ruined your life.
How long you can drop it like it's hot (164 entries).
How long you can drop it like it's cold (same amount of time).
How long you can drop it like it's cool (same amount of time).
How long you can drop it like it's warm (same amount of time).
How long you can drop it like it's lukewarm (same amount of time).
How long you can drop it like it lacks temperature (same amount of time).
A disambiguation page that has links to entries 2639, 2640, 2641, 2642, 2643, 2644, 2803, 2804, 2805, 2806, 2807, and 2808.
How you had to replace that last disambiguation page with a picture of longcat so that it remains so.
A sad face. Those are not allowed here.
Why Paul Revere would warn the British.
Why John Quincy Adams abolished slavery.
The Bordernese dog, quite possibly the cutest dog hybrid to ever exist.

They are coming...
Why we should protect Wikipedia from the LOLcats.
Why we shouldn't protect Wikipedia from the LOLcats.
Why we should just make an LOLcat wiki already.
A list of unlikely voices of reason: Stephanie Pratt, Lindsay Lohan, and Greg Kelly.
The Greg Kelly angry face.
Describe the hazard.
How inside jokes make you feel bad about yourself.
The scary guy on CNN.
The scary nurse who doesn't like gloves.
A comparison of Sharon Fairless from Ma's Roadhouse and the scary nurse.
Why the people behind Erin Hunter deserve to give you all the books in the Warriors novel series because you want to be the ultimate fan.
Why Time Warner Cable deserves to give you HBO and Showtime free all the time because you're missing out on True Blood, Game of Thrones and Dexter and don't feel like getting them from Netflix.
How it's improper to laugh at the number of blue links in the last article that were not intentional.
How a blue link on a Wikipedia article can, in fact, be unintentional.
Big Brother's family: Big Mother, Big Father, Big Sister, Big Baby, Big Aunt, Big Uncle, Big Cousin, and Big Grandpa Who Became Depressed After Big Grandma Died.
How clapping with cup hands is not a good idea when you want to be heard.
The scary people on the Family Feud video game.
The lack of humor in these entries.
I'm sorry!
I'm so sorry!
OH GOD I'M SORRY!
The path of No Name the blue jellyfish.
YO PAPA.
How yo mama is so stupid that she married Justin Bieber.
How this list has only one picture.
How the metric system pwn'd the US customary system.
How watching Rugrats convinced you to become a fascist.
How Verizon says it has more coverage than AT&T.
How AT&T says it has more coverage than Verizon.
How one of them has to be lying.
How the guys who make the ads for the liar should be sued.
How your best friend told you that coverage doesn't really matter.
How the only exception to the above statement is if coverage would be your private part.
How you don't even know what coverage is.
How this list has 1516 entries in a row which begin with "How".
Whew! Finally no more "how" entries.
How you should forget the above statement.
how stupid wikipeedia is:):):):):):)
about the ugley :):0:(:{:};0;[;];);(:8;8:3!!!!!
How to give your butt cheeks six-packs.
How to turn YouTube into MeTube.
How to modify a modification.
How to eat doo-doo balls.
How to cook doo-doo balls.
How to digest doo-doo balls.
How to write a story about doo-doo balls.
How to turn into a doo-doo ball.
How to do anything involoving doo-doo balls.
Do NOT do doo-doo balls.
How the previous entry has bad grammar and ridiculously huge text.
A bomb which explodes with one click.
If Wikipedia was that bomb.
What Obama would be like if he was a Republican.
How there is exactly one zillion ways to get arrested by the cops.
How one zillion is not a number.
How two zillion is a number.
What World War III will be like.
How no one's gonna team up with the USA during WWIII.
How Switzerland is gonna be neutral...as always.
The fact that most of these entries can't physically be made into an article because they don't make sense.
Why you don't care.
The number of "how"s on just the third section of the list: 307, excluding the h-o-w's in other words.
What a stick of dynamite divided by 8 is.
How you're so unconventional you're using absurd fonts!
How Comic Sans MS is by no means "absurd".
How writing in Wingdings would be absurd.
That one time you were in an edit conflict with yourself.
How you memorized OVER 9,000!!!! digits of pi.
How you can't memorize any digits of pi beyond 3.14 because your brain doesn't have any more room and is filled completely with memorizaton of this list's entries (which is continuously getting harder in several ways so you better be fast...)
How you're extremely funny but never on purpose.
Why 99% of Wikipedia uses British English.
Your plans on how to split the English Wikipedia into American & British versions.
How American English has more speakers than British English, and how Jimbo, Wikipedia's founder, is American, and how Wikblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
How "Wikblah" isn't a word.
How you put that word in the dictionary you invented, so that it's a word now.
How your best friend is called Wikblah.
How Wikblah is a redlink in Wiktionary.
How you just created that entry.
How the Wikblah entry got deleted.
How you got blocked after that.
The fact that "Wikblah" is a cuss word in your secret language.
How you were Born on the Fourth of July.
How you died on the Fourth of July.
How adding weird list entries is part of your religious mandate, and is required to achieve a state of inner peace.
The lack of recurring gags in this section.
What your username says about your politics, preferences, disposition, age, race, origin, medical history, economic standpoint, intelligence level, gender, habits, sexual orientation, employment history, mental health state, or anything else of that effect.
How most usernames don't tell you much about the person they represent.
What your IP address says about your politics, preferences, disposition, age, race, origin, medical history, economic standpoint, intelligence level, gender, habits, sexual orientation, employment history, mental health state, or anything else of that effect.
Your tendency to string themes of list entries together.
How desperate you are to reach entry 3000.
How disappointed you'll be if it's a gag about Andre 3000.
Big numbers, and how you can't make any gags about them like you could with numbers like 1984, 2012, 42, etc.
Speculation on the next time Russell Brand will take a shower.
Speculation on the next time Katy Perry will take a shower.
How those two occurrences are likely to coincide...
How you hacked into LulzSec.
Some inside gag about The Regular Show that only about 35 people might get.
How much you want Ted Danson and Jimmy Fallon to appear on said show.
How much you want the protagonists of said show to appear on the respective shows of said existent TV stars.
The fact that "said" is an adjective.
The Mike Rowe Doomsday/Catapult Joint Theorem and your extensive thesis on it.
How you got said doo-doo balls confused with the Goo-Goo Dolls and now have that song from City of Angels stuck in your head.
When you watched The Demented Cartoon Movie so many damn times that you think the minute you say BLAH you will lose your head or if you say Zeeky Boogy Doog, an H-bomb will blow up. Then again, you need to be crazy or under 18 to watch it this many times.
How you test-edited this page.
How this list is almosty at 3,000.
1,000,000 reasons why Elmo is stupid.
How Elmo doesn't wear any clothes.
How you like to randomly stick YO MAMA! into sentences, like YO MAMA!
Why entry #2968 has a typo.
How bull doo-doo makes great candy.
How you dispute the above fact and think you're a "rebel"
How the above entry is the same as #2001.
The worst jinx you ever got into.
How the banana peel is way yummier than the banana gut.
How banana guts are what monkeys eat.
How you don't know what a banana gut is.
How that explains the redlink above.
How banana guts don't go to the bathroom.
as34w^b vw&w4e57n ^*(WWAE)_T V(Q#$YQ#$i yQi ?QE$y0q?$OY QE$WOpy W$PYOTNB {+ET UQKWP$^ Yikwq4y5ph'
How the above statement means "How you make so many typos that nobody knows what it means without looking at the next entry".
How ghetto you are.
How to become a millionaire by pressing a button.
How to become a zeroaire by pressing a button.
How "zeroaire" isn't a word. We've been over this already.
How to become a trillionaire by pressing a button.
How this list is still the best, even though the last 9 entries have been wasted.
How thanks to the above heading, the contents just got ridiculously wide.
/* How much you failed to make something look like a section edit */
The fact you were once king of this list, but this is your first edit in the new section.
How all text that you did not write yourself, except brief excerpts, must be available under terms consistent with Wikipedia's Terms of Use before you submit it.
How you dispute the above heading; you created the list and know that it's yours.
Dominatio tua lingua latina.
Quam stultus es.
How Latin is a dead language, but it is not the language of the dead.
How awesome Pig Latin is.
Hversu gagnleg sjálfvirkri þýðandi er.
How irritated people get when you write list entries in Icelandic.
How not everything is chrome in the future.
How funny it is the number of entries in these lists that have to do with SpongeBob SquarePants.
How screaming "AGUA!" when you want water only works in marching band.
How water clings to your marching band teacher's luxurious beard.
How you aren't in a marching band.
How your dead brother could have been in one.
How to remember all the above points and still write about them.
How interesting is your cell phone number and how easy is it to remember.
Your Poker Face.
Captain Underpants and the Epic Endurance Of The Egg Salad.
Apple Juice.
Blueberry Juice.
Fruit juice in general.
~~Fifteen~~, ~~Fifty~~, OVER 9000! paragraphs of dummy text written completely backwards.
Who's responsible for not including the word "who" in this section.
Over-editing on this pointless has-been gag page to the point that you speak in fragments and see flying pound symbols whenever you close your eyes.
Highly controversial parking maneuvers.
Fairly controversial draft evasion maneuvers.
Darkened orchestra maneuvers.
How to correctly spell "maneuver/manoeuvre".
Why the @%#$ there are entries that consist of simply a blue link. Wouldn't the point be that the entries don't have an article about them, and never should??
How you sold your soul to the creators of the list.
Why this list only works in English.
What a Spanish fish does.
How it took 20 minutes just to think of this entry.
...I got nothin' more. Sorry.
How the people at universities won't shut up during the opening ceremonies for ANYTHING, and how you got so bored you started to edit this page out of pure survival technique.
How the people at universities eat children.
How the people behind you are laughing because this is the funniest thing they've seen in your boring lecture session.
How having no life pales in comparison to a lecture at college.
How suddenly interesting the little lever on the bottom of swivel chairs has become.
How when people yell "Big Money" on Wheel of Fortune, they usually go bankrupt or lose a turn.
How on Wheel of Fortune whenever people really do get "Big Money", they lose it on the next turn.
How most of us have no lives, and prefer to keep it that way.
How pissed you are that you cannot edit people's entries on this specific page, how you wanted to put the link to the article about unemployment over the entire last entry, and how you suddenly remembered the rule.
How by being over 2,000 ahead of our original goal, we should be tired of jumping sharks and should be spending our time finding something else to jump over.
Why you deserve your own reality TV show.
The best job ever: pretending to write a novel in your parents' basement with five glasses of vodka and an imprisoned Ke$ha forced to sing your favorite songs while in reality you're editing this list.
The worst job ever: actually writing a novel. For kids.
Teh 1 time dat it was yur best friends bachlurette par-tay and u got drunk n tryd out da strip pole n fell n then puked schnapps n nachos nto da bartenders eyz. TGIF!
The dangers of excessive alcohol the night before a wedding.
Your favorite costumes at the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 midnight premiere: a stick for a wand and a marker-lightning bolt on the side of the head.
How amazingly messed-up we all are to already be at number 3055 and still be going strong.
The day you lived in the present, right down to the millisecond.
How ridiculous that it is that the number 9000 receives so much more attention than 1337.
Gags about jumping the shark.
What you did last Friday night.
Why cannon rushing in Star Craft 2 gives you the title as "douche bag".
Grenades, including this one.
Stating how you think you have the "moves like Jagger".
Your dream you had last night.
Just forget this one.
How some of the Kidz Bop Kids aren't even KIDS anymore.
Giving secrets away.
Chuck Norris knows that you're typing right now.
Why you're glad the "Friday" music video was taken off of YouTube.
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Actually knowing that the long word above is the longest word in the English language.
Knowing that the word above has 1,909 letters and its meaning.
Believing that it actually took 30 minutes for me to type this.
Why you think it's great to feel like a woman.
Why you think Justin Bieber is dating Selena Gomez.
How the third-last entry in this section is completely wasted by skipping a countdown number.
How this entry stinks.
Why this is the last entry of this section, and you wasted it,. . . again.

[edit] 3001-Present: A Species Evolved So Far That The Creators Have A Hard Time Recognizing That It Is Their Product

You have a birthmark because you were born that way.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T WANNA GO HOME, JUST GO AWAY!!!
Why your date won't stop talkin' that "Blah blah blah."
What your "teenage dream" would look like.
How to Love.
Why you think Justin Bieber is a weirdo.
Saying "never say never" because it's just hypocritical.
You want you want your "baby" back after being in a bad romance.
Why you don't have a Wikipedia account because you think you're cooler than me.
Why it's taking so long for Dr. Dre to release Detox.
What you're going to do tonight.
How you want to be a billionaire so freakin' bad!
Your anger at that annoying flumph being immune to everything you used on it's invulnerable top side in a D&D game.
Why you don't like how lots of entries in this section are about music.
The language of the Siberian Wolf-Dogs in a video game idea that you came up with and are trying to pitch to Ubisoft.
How you don't like the color blue and therefore reject Wikipedia links.
The extent of your Wikipediaholism to the point where you have a red-link funeral in your backyard.
The answers to last week's crossword puzzle in The Onion.
The horrible grammar used in entry number 3,101.
Fierce whacking.
The joy you get from saying "I'm lying" to everyone.
This entry, the entry before this entry, the entry before the entry before this entry, the entry before the entry before the entry before this entry, the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before this entry, the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before this entry, the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before this entry, the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before this entry, the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before this entry, and the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before the entry before this entry.
How nerd actually means an octopus's penis
How you came up with at least thirty new song ideas by just making songs about football teams with the team's colors in the title.
Steve Jobs' love of fonts.
The time that you confused your seventh-grade gym teacher for one of the students.
S u c k i s h t e a m s .
How you can't change those entries, but Chuck Norris (You: LET'S GO METS!)
How the period in that same entry is a link, also explaining for this one.
Why YOU are the greatest person in the world and no one meets up to you.
The mismanaged record store that gave you At Fillmore East instead of your favorite All That Remains CD, and you sat by the stereo wondering when "Whipping Post" would ever end.
Tito Jackson's job at McDonald's.
The new air-freshener themed RPG you released.
How it is not a good idea to eruct what you have just imbibed.
Any article which has N in the title in reference to an unknown number but is not an article about math (im looking at you, this article!)
REDLINK.
How someone just made an article about REDLINK.
How urban the first sentence in the last section of the artile about REDLINK. is.
How a Redline appears if you type in REDLINK. on Windows XP Professional, same for Redline.
Bluelink malfunction.
:-O===8 (no porn on Wikis please.)
How YOU are the 4,000th entry, explaining why I want YOU to enlist in the WikiArmy.
310,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, flavors.
There are 31 zeros in that last entry.
Chuck Norris's sudden love for this list.
Big.
How much more sophisticated you are than USERNAME.
Why people think making redlink jokes is so funny.
The fact that YOU'RE WINNER !
How you laughed at this entry which tells you not to laugh at it.
Why you continue to read, edit, or think about this list.
Why horizontal lines should be used sparingly.
How you thought that Volapük was some perverted dance rehearsal studio.
What you learned from reading every article this page is linked to.
A list of articles in the Francias Wikipedia.
Your hump (we don't wanna know!)
The fact that Futbol is better than Soccer, and your world famous argument with Harry S. Truman about it.
Invisibility...
The speed of dark.
The speed of silence.
The speed of a Volkswagen Rabbit.
Unicornpower.
What makes you wanna take the backroad.
Every word in the Urban-Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
The Amish Heater.
Bleeping Hamburgers.
Bacon.
Canadian Bacon.
French Bacon.
Russian Bacon.
The time you ordered soft serve on a Whopper Jr..
How with each episode, 123 Sesame Street is turning into 666 Racist Road.
How you happen to live on 667 Racist Road.
2013.
How the people in Castle live in a castle.
Diet Cocapepsi7updewcrushfantaspritea Cola.
Regular Cocapepsi7updewcrushfantaspritea Cola.
Stupid jokes like that.
How YOU were the infant that the baboon nursed to health at the Brookfield Zoo, and a play-by-play of your thoughts.
How parrots are robots designed by the Chinese.
IDK
How the Green Bay Packers and the Detroit Lions are the only two teams in the NFL without any losses.
How entries 96 and 1259 are unintentionally identical.
How Microsoft Word freezes up if you try to paste this list into it.
How much a hen weighs.
How much a fen weighs.
What a fen is.
Why you should just go to bed already, I mean look at you, your eyes are bloodshot, your face is pale, and there's probably nothing interesting beyond this point. Sorry.
Why you're not in bed yet.
The quality of your bedsheets.
What you do under said bedsheets (read comic books, of course).
How making list entries is a good sleep aid.
Or maybe it's the copious quantities of oxycotin that are relaxing you.
Your plans to create tabloid rumors about Jeff Tweedy and submit them to Star magazine.
Who's Jeff Tweedy, anyway?
How you were talking about the Pokemon Chingling with some Mexicans and they appeared to be angry with you all of a sudden.
What's this?
How every other entry is seeming to be a question.
Or is it?
No, it's not a question. And not a very sensible entry either.
How much you enjoy watching American Horror Story
The origins of Garlic
Your honeymoon at Schrute Farms
Your favourite episode of the Gleeful Podcast
Gerbilling
How Bubbles is the baws of all monkeys on the planet.
How Charlai LOVES Chris Brown muahahaha ^.^
Julia's theory on how people who smoke marijuana are basically cockroaches who won't die out or go away.
How you cant say IRISH WRISTWATCH really fast! --Viktor
How this list is not the same without Chuck Norris.
How I AM BACK!
How YourLIA.
The Dinosaurus.
When you drove your Chevy to the levee but the levee wasn't dry.
BLUE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN OF KUNTUCKAY!
How you can't deny the randomness of the last entry.
What symbol would be on the Wikipedia globe if it was an ENTIRE globe.
The similarities between the main characters of Auction Hunters and Flip Men.
How at first you thought Flip Men was men flipping off other men.
Why on earth your d*ck is in a box, and why it should stay that way.
The Google Earth glitch: There is a ROAD on the top of the Field Museum!
How ABC Family isn't for families.
Why half of Food Network is spin-offs of Chopped.
Moo.
The subliminal message on your box of Kleenex.
Jumping the shark ON a shark.
The letter J.
Random blurts.
Beatboxing.
How you used to think domestic battery was throwing a battery at someone.
Once Upon A Time...
The realistic future, Yoda, and a trizigabyte.
What a trizigabyte is.
How you don't care what a trizigabyte is.
People who know how to post videos to Facebook?
WWI V. WWII.
The tragedy that would occur if Nick Jr. was dominated by six-pack abs.
Why you're not above submitting random references about other people you know that nobody else that edits the list knows, and the inside jokes that entail it.
Explanations of the above entry, like Mr. Wilson's Crazy Christmas, Spirals, the Original "Soldier Boy", Mustaches from All Quiet on the Western Front, Awkward Tag, or anything else.
The health benefits of beatboxing.
The 8 songs on your iPhone.
Wild cocaine orgies thrown by Mensa scholars.
Your monopoly on writing list entries.
How it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of rationality.
How long it's been since you've heard a good song by Staind.
The fact that it is hard to edit this list in the dark while listening to Blue Monday, which ended up being 4 minutes longer than you expected.
More fun facts about Franklin Pierce, by far the most important president in the history of the list.
Why Daniel Stern is a great voice-actor.
Why Howard Stern is a great radio host.
Your modest proposal to end overpopulation and boost the economy.
Bands that are so obscure today that they're really funny if you have heard of them and someone references them, like Widespread Panic, or even The Fixx.
The dangers of cabin depressurization.
Real men/women write on this list. (I think)
Who, when writing this list, really gives a ---- about the CC-BY-SA 3.0 License and the GFDL.
How you thought the above and the next day ended up hung by your thumbs in a dungeon filled with wolverines.
Why random animals make good names for neo-folk bands.
Mick Jagger. There, I said it.
How most of this user's entries involve history, geography, science, Cartoon Network, Pixar, inside jokes, movies, and mostly music and you shouldn't expect anything different.
An unexpected reference to Epic Meal Time, even though this user has never seen it.
Your ongoing celebration of Beerparty's return.
How Beerparty has probably made the most entries on this list.
Seriously, can we just SHUT THE F--K UP ABOUT BEERPARTY?!
People who have tasted Play-Doh, and thought it was good.
The absurd noise heard before StickyKeys goes into effect.
Articles that are full of typos like thid onre or thos ome.
The day your friend was abducted by aliens.
Farmers who grow food in radioactive soil.
People who eat americium buttons for dinner.
People who fall over and crash into a bin of plastic clotheshangers.
LittleBigPlanet™ 3.
Articles that are totally misspelled like thiz dext or dis tecksd.
How Thor's favorite element is thorium.
People who say Uranus is made of uranium.
How 2+2, of course, does not equal fish.
The element before hydrogen.
The square root of ∞.
The last digit of pi.
How BIG the universe is.
The moment before the big bang.
How Cosmo tripped over a bug.
How Dora is dumb.
Super Man's new home planet, called Rubidium.
Your sequel of 24, called 25.
Your DNA.
Your butt.
Your friend's butt.
George Washington's butt.
How dumb Yo Gabba Gabba is.
How dumb the Wonder Pets are.
Why Clifford is silly.
Blue's Clues.
Ni Hao Kai Lan is just silly.
How many made-up places, climates, and living things you can find on Go Diego Go!
/-/ /-\ 1 1 0 \/\/ 3 {- /\/
The CNO cycle reversed.
Schrödinger's Cat.
The restaurant you went to last night.
Who do you get when you cross a differential equation with a vampire?
Count Calculus!
The number after -∞.
Why Caillou is a big, fat, stupid, dumb, crazy, silly, psycho brat.
Why Bob the Builder is a big, fat, stupid, dumb, crazy, silly, psycho brat.
How many redlinks like this one or even this one are on the Wikipedia.
Your science fair project.
How entries 15 and 3,317 are identical.
How awesome Nyan cat is
Its over 9000
Why people are entering so many entrees
How I spelled this word wrong ^^^^^^^
How the 8th-22nd entries above this one are FALSE.
A hooker you met on Google Maps.
The Sims 8.
Duke the Wolf
How the past 20+ entries were so unoriginal and repetitive you don't want to edit until you forget about them but still refuse to delete them.
How the entry before this was more repetitive and unoriginal than any other entry before.
How these entries are just wasting your time to tell you that when Justin Bieber marries Dora the Explorer in December of 2012 the apocalypse will happen.
Supercalifragilistexpialidocious.
Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengsellschaft.
The opposite of praseodymium: puimydoesarp (Rp).
The opposite of rutherfordium: muidrofrehtur (Fr).
The spammed Periodic Table.
The opposite of tin: nit (Ns).
The total number of subatomic particles in the ²⁹⁴Uuo atom.
The opposite of astatine: eniatsa (Ta).
The opposite of tantalum: mulatnat (At).
Pi backward.
The last digit of e.
The number e backward.
Unhexennium.
Why neodymium is lightweight when it is a heavy element.
The opposite of lead: deal (Bp).
How the rare earths aren't rare.
The guy who spammed the Periodic Table in the first copy of a science encyclopedia and messed up today's edition of the book, for example element 43 is listed as...
How that proves once and for all why there shouldn't be tables on this list.
The Endless Antarctic Radioactive Movement.
How you SOLEMNLY SWEAR you saw a Harry Caray Chia Birdhouse!
Why you suck crap at NHL2K10.
What entry this is.
How this WAS entry 7.2 until we discovered a tragedy.
The guy who got banned from Kayak.com for life.
How the people editing these are running out of ideas.
An AfD entry for this list (gasp!).
Seriously, we are almost out of ideas.
Jean-Paul Sartre, Pakistan, Stairway to Heaven, Zinedine Zidane, and kohlrabi. There, we referenced everything.
How you thought Goodbye Cruel World wasn't that bad of an album.
The element of surprise (Su).
A Freudian analysis of why people on this list don't like Dora the Explorer. We know you didn't mind it...
How you think you're so smart because you read Hark! A Vagrant.
How office life is kind of funny. Sometimes.
How nice and clean this list is since those multi-entry entries are gone. Quality over quantity, y'know.
Any page beginning with The Lord God, Almighty, followed by your name.
How everyone just lost The Game
Evidence that Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds was a direct reference to the Kennedy Assassination, and how was directly responsible for the New World Order and...Illuminati,
A list of jokes involving children's TV shows, such as Dora The Explorer or Barney the Dinosaur. Seriously though, we're all adults here, right? ..... right?
Spam.
Or this Spam.
Or maybe this Spam?
Or, to a lesser extent, this Spam.
THE FACT THAT WHEN THIS PAGE GETS REALLY LONG, THIS ENTRY WILL CATCH YOUR ATTENTION WHEN YOU SCROLL DOWN THE PAGE.
How to walk into Mordor.
A list of funny jokes found on this page (a.k.a. the shortest Stub ever.).
An essay saying how much you hate Wikipedia. ....Because that would be vandalism. .....and vandalism is wrong...
Polymascotfoamalate.
A list of colors. Oh wait, we have that.
When Trogdor comes. which is in the NNNNIIIIIGGGGGHHHHTTTTT!!!!
How you think you're cool because you can type a cross with your keyboard. (††††† YAY)
List of reasons why some peculiar celebrity is winning.
List of reasons why students at (insert school here) are superior.
How I am the creator of this page and I typed out the first 100 things. Which happens to be true! This has gone so far!
Why Lycans are actually not the same thing as Werewolves (so get a clue, folks!), and if they were ever allowed to breed with Vampires their offspring would certainly take over the world. We humans cannot allow that to happen. Ever!
How the curtains were blue.
About what college your mom goes to.

Wikipedia:N things not to write your article about

Contents

[edit] The Original List: The Stuff of Legends

[edit] 1001-2000: The Next Generation

[edit] 2001-3000: The Modern Era

[edit] 3001-Present: A Species Evolved So Far That The Creators Have A Hard Time Recognizing That It Is Their Product

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