Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Unblock Emails

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The Wikipedia unblock request list gets a lot of e-mails. Sometimes, they're legit requests for people whose school/workplace/military base has been blocked, and they'd like an account to edit with. Other times, they just don't get why they've been blocked. And then, there's the ones that make people scratch their heads in puzzlement. These are those e-mails. All names have been changed, but the rest is unaltered (except for sigs and the like).

"RTFM"[edit]

Date: Tue, 27 Feb 2007 19:47:25 -0500 (EST) Subject: [Unblock-en-l] I've been unfairly blocked

  • Your Wikipedia account name (if you have one): I don't have one
  • Who you were blocked by: Netsnipe
  • The exact reason given above for your block:

If you wish to edit, please disable Google Web Accelerator for this website.

You yourself are not personally blocked. However, in order to prevent abuse by vandals and other banned users, editing Wikipedia using this accelerator is currently disallowed. For instructions on how to disable it, please see here.

  • Your IP address (as provided by this page): 64.233.173.85
  • An explanation as to why you believe your block is unfair: I have

never had a wikipedia account before


ED: Unfortunately we regularly have people ignoring the solution to their problem which is right in front of their eyes and emailing it back to us.

"Cash for Unblock Scandal?"[edit]

date Apr 10, 2007 2:08 PM subject [Unblock-en-l] Please unblock my account, I must get out soon!

Dear sirs,

I am a deposed prince from the West African nation of Niger. I use my wikipedia account to help me find foreigners who may help me get my numerous and millions of funds out of country before the government controlled mob in my country can get me. My wikipedia account was unblocked as spamful. If any of you may unblock and help me, I will transfer 200 thousand of american dollars to your bank account, after the completion of a small, 200 dollar account transfer from you to me to prove the account exists. I thank you rapidly for your attention in this manner, Mr. Wikipedia.

-Mgumbe


ED: It was later revealed that this was somebody checking to see whether unblock-en has a spam filter.

"School of hard knocks"[edit]

Date: Fri, 4 May 2007 10:09:39 -0400 Subject: [Unblock-en-l] educational purposes!

I am trying to teach my students that Wikipedia, while good for some purposes, isn’t a primary resource due to the “anyone can edit” feature of your site.

My school IP address is therefore blocked.

Please assist me in my endeavors.

<name withheld>

Ninth Grade English


ED: Looks like the lesson has been taught!

Wikipedia doesn't need shipping[edit]

Date: Thu, 17 May 2007 16:32:34 +0300 Subject: [Unblock-en-l] (no subject) KIRGHISTAN – KAZAKHSTAN – UZBEKISTAN – TAJAKISTAN –IRAN – IRAQ – SYRIA RAILWAY TRANSPORTATION SER Dear Sirs,

We as the <company name removed> have been providing international forwarding , customs clearance and storage services to import and export companies since 1986. Our company was located in Turkey.

Our company offers continuous transport services by road , rail and sea , as well as project forwarding, container shipping services and transhipments via IRAN , especially to Turkish Republics,Iraq,Middle East. Russia, Europe and, the Far East, America and the rest of the World.

Our primary goal is comprised of complete forwarding services free from delays and damages. In order to pursue our aims, we have established a liaison office in Asgabat/Turkmenistan in 1992.

Similarly , our agencies in Iraq,Iran and Ukraine assist us in the follow up and completion of all forwarding and shipping procedures in order to eliminate any possible delays.

We are capable of fulfilling all services of importing and would like to offer forwarding , customs clearance and storage services to import and export companies.

Please find below all of our references for our above activities.

REFERENCES

<various companies and countries withheld>

We would like to have mutual beneficial business opportunity with your respectful company. So, we propose you to take place in your transportation with our quality service and competitive prices if you need transportation on the following routes.

The details of routes: Azerbaijan, Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Armenia, Georgia, Russia, Jordan, Lebanon, Iran, Iraq, Afganisthan. Furthermore, we are able to provide transportation service to the European Countries and Balcan Countries.

Please take into consideration that our mission is to provide our customer first class service with competitive prices and prompt delivery.

We are looking forward to hearing from you soon.


Best Regards , <name redacted>


"Greatest vandal ever"[edit]

Subject: [Unblock-en-l] bla bla bla

Date: May 20, 2007 10:28:28 AM PDT

Why did you block me!! The greatest vandal ever to strike Wikipedia has never gotten blocked!!!! I swear to you by the name of Zeus that once the block is lifted I will screw up as many articles as is humanly possible!! Long live credible encyclopedias!! Death to Wikipedia!!


"Pwetty please"[edit]

Subject: [Unblock-en-l] (no subject)

Date: Mon, 21 May 2007 13:11:10 +0100

Please unblock us? Pwetty please SEOKHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (pronounced in a high nasal tone)


"Who you gonna call? Wikipedia!"[edit]

Date: Sun, 27 May 2007 10:59:20 +0200

Subject: Re: [Unblock-en-l] Succubus & Incubus

Hi I would like to know more about these demons. And how can one get rid of them? Please can you help me as I am desperate. <name withheld>


ED: For some reason, having a wikilink in the title makes this look funny; if you don't get the joke in the title of this section, see Ghostbusters#Music.

Bigger than...[edit]

Date: 9 June 2007

  • Blocking admin: TexasAndroid
  • Block reason: Vandalism-only account
  • An explanation of why your block is unfair: its not my fault your from texas