Wikipedia:Peer review

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  (Redirected from Wikipedia:Peer Review)
Jump to: navigation, search
Main Current Instructions Discussion Tools Archive
Shortcut:
This page is about editorial review of specific articles. For off-Wiki review of Wikipedia, see Wikipedia:External peer review. For pending changes, see Wikipedia:Reviewers.
"WP:PR" redirects here. For the Public Relations FAQ, see Wikipedia:FAQ/Organizations. For information on Wikipedia press releases, see Wikipedia:Press releases. For patrolled revisions, see Wikipedia:Patrolled revisions.
"WP:Review" redirects here. It is not to be confused with WP:Reviewing.
PR icon.png

Wikipedia's peer review process is a way to receive ideas and feedback from other editors about articles. An article may be nominated by any user, and will appear on the list of all peer reviews. Other users can comment on the review. Peer review may be used for potential good article nominations, potential featured article candidates, or an article of any "grade". Peer review is a useful place to centralise a review from other editors about an article, and may be associated with a WikiProject; and may also be a good place for new Wikipedians to receive feedback on how an article is looking.

Peer reviews are open to any feedback, and users requesting feedback may also request more specific feedback. Unlike formal nominations, editors and nominators may both edit articles during the discussion.

To request a review, or nominate an article for a review see the instructions page. Users are limited to requesting one review at any one time, and are encouraged to help reduce the backlog by commenting on other articles. Any user may comment on a review, and there is no requirement that any comments may be acted on.

A list of all current peer reviews, with reviewer's comments included, can be found here. For easier navigation, a list of peer reviews, without the reviews themselves included, can be found here. A chronological peer reviews list can be found here.

Arts[edit]

Joss Whedon[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because the review will be followed by a nomination for WP:FAC. Before this happens, please bring on the appeals for further improvement. I'll return as soon as possible to review the review(s). Cheers, Glitchygirl (talk) 01:50, 13 May 2015 (UTC)

No review. Archiving now. Glitchygirl (talk) 11:23, 23 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Wednesday 13 May 2015, 01:50 UTC)----


Crystal Pite[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I want to nominate this article for WP:GA and want opinions on how to improve the article before a formal nomination. Thanks, Z1720 (talk) 17:47, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Tuesday 12 May 2015, 17:47 UTC)----


Tank Girl (film)[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I recently overhauled it and successfully nominated it for GA, and intend to nominate it for FAC after peer review. If you have a PR or GAN you would like me to review in return for your review here, just mention it at the end of your review. Thanks. Freikorp (talk) 09:15, 10 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments

  • The soundtrack roll probably needs citations
  • I did a copy edit seen here

Mind reviewing this for me at it's GAN?--Tomandjerry211 (Let's have a chat) 00:09, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

Track listing doesn't need citations, is it the 'Other songs in the film' that you're referring to? Thanks for looking at the article and for the copyedits. I'm going away for the weekend but i'll review your GAN Monday if nobody else does it before then. Cheers. Freikorp (talk) 08:48, 14 May 2015 (UTC)
@Freikorp: Somone already "failed it", so could you mind to review this for me instead
Done. :) Freikorp (talk) 10:23, 18 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Sunday 10 May 2015, 09:15 UTC)----


Boys Don't Cry (film)[edit]

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review to get some more comments before I re-nominate this article for FAC. I've already fixed the problems with the article that people mentioned at the last FAC, so I'm just looking for some comments.

Thanks, BenLinus1214talk 21:26, 9 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Saturday 9 May 2015, 21:26 UTC)----


Citizen Kane[edit]

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because it needs some work to get it ready for FA status.

Thanks, Deoliveirafan (talk) 15:10, 2 May 2015 (UTC)

I've notified WikiProject Film about this and we can consider inviting editors from the volunteer list too. -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 10:10, 15 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Saturday 2 May 2015, 15:10 UTC)----


Captain America: Civil War[edit]

Need a peer review to keep up with GT status of MCU films. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 15:58, 30 April 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Thursday 30 April 2015, 15:58 UTC)----


Capon Chapel[edit]

I've nominated this article for a peer review because I would like to receive necessary feedback that will allow me to further improve this article for submission to a Featured Article review. Any and all guidance would be greatly appreciated! -- Thanks, West Virginian (talk) 21:06, 29 April 2015 (UTC)

Drive-by: Is there any reason why the paras in the lead split like this? I feel they are too stubby and can be merged to a total of three shorter paras, given the article size WP:LEADLENGTH. -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 09:25, 15 May 2015 (UTC)

Ugog Nizdast, thank you for your suggestion! I've consolidated the paragraphs into three per your suggestion. Please let me know if you have any further guidance for this article. Thanks again! -- West Virginian (talk) 10:19, 15 May 2015 (UTC)
Comments by Ugog Nizdast
  • Images: Captions can be shortened. For example, "The church's north sides" can be shortened to "North side viewed from north lawn". Same can goes for east side and other north side image. "Pictured" is again, redundant.
  • Geography and location:"The church and cemetery, located to the east of Christian Church Road, " isn't this already mentioned in the first sentence? all you have to do is add "east" to it rather than mentioning this again. The second para first statement too does this, it mentions "rural agricultural" but also repeats information; do the same there. Then that stubby para can be merged. Makes sense?
  • Chapel vs church: I don't know much of this subject, but I assume referring it as a "church" throughtout the article is because majority of the sources say it right?
  • I'm fairly sure that per WP:HONORIFIC, "reverand" or "dr" aren't used unless the article title uses it.
  • Its affiliation should be mentioned and linked in the lead, see WP:CONTEXTLINK, and maybe even in the infobox if possible.
  • Baptist affiliation: in this section, there is an unattributed POV quotation "was described as a man of solemn dignity, warm address and speaks as on..." Quotations should be only used where prose cannot be, and POV quotations need attribution or can be removed if not relevant. -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 10:48, 19 May 2015 (UTC)
Ugog Nizdast, thank you again for your guidance and suggestions. I've addressed each of these in the article, so please let me know if you see any further changes that need to be incorporated. Since the info box template is the NRHP template, there is not a space for the mention of affiliation but I did include its affiliation in the first sentence of the lede. The quote was removed and while it is named a chapel, it serves as a fully-functioning church in the United Methodist Church. The sources also refer to it as a church. Thanks again Ugog! -- West Virginian (talk) 08:21, 20 May 2015 (UTC)
Okay good. I removed a minor text sandwich between images on both sides; I took some liberty in the rearrangement but feel free to change it in case the context doesn't match with the prose. Oh and no need to ping me, I've been watching this since I posted here. More to come maybe in a few days. -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 09:13, 20 May 2015 (UTC)
Ugog Nizdast, thank you for your rearrangement of the images, and feel free to take as much liberty as you like. I'm looking forward to the rest of your comments and suggestions. -- West Virginian (talk) 08:01, 21 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Section Baptist affiliation: Can the first para be shortened as it talks about the general Baptist history in West Virginia, nothing about the actual topic at hand? Even that mention of other notable people other than Monroe seem to be like this. If you aren't sure of its relevance, then shorten and merge the first two paras. Just curious, does this section summarise any main page? See WP:SUMMARY and WP:DETAIL for how much coverage. Add a "main" header link if it does or a "further" link if it doesn't directly.
Ugog Nizdast, I've incorporated your suggestions by deleting some of the superfluous information and merging the first and second paragraphs of the Baptist affiliation section. Please let me know if this requires any additional edits. -- West Virginian (talk) 15:45, 28 May 2015 (UTC)
  • " allocated 88 and one-half poles" Add the convert template since this is the unit of measurement. -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 10:53, 28 May 2015 (UTC)
Ugog Nizdast, as there is no pole conversion algorithm for the Wikipedia convert template, I made the conversion on my own and used the convert template to render the square meters figure. Let me know if this works. Upon further inspection, this was an area measurement and not a linear one. This measurement was rendered at UnitConversion.org and Online Unit Converter Pro. -- West Virginian (talk) 15:45, 28 May 2015 (UTC)

Doing...

(Peer review added on Wednesday 29 April 2015, 21:06 UTC)----


Chetro Ketl[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because after a successful GAN I would like to get more feedback on the article regarding its current quality in relation to the FAC criteria. I plan to leave this PR open until May 31, so if you plan to review or add comments here please do so several days prior to that date so that I will have enough time to adequately address concerns.

Thanks, Rationalobserver (talk) 21:44, 27 April 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Tim riley[edit]

Comments from Simon Burchell[edit]

Lead

  • In the intro, you've missed a metric conversion for the 1540 ft circumference. Simon Burchell (talk) 16:40, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
Fixed. RO(talk) 17:27, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "exposure to the Sun" - better as "exposure to the sun". Simon Burchell (talk) 16:42, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
I'm pretty sure that in this construction "Sun" is a proper noun that should be capped (see Sun). RO(talk) 16:48, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
I don't think sun is ever a proper noun. And it definitely isn't in this construction.·maunus · snunɐɯ· 16:55, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
Please see MOS:CELESTIALBODIES at MOS:CAPS - outside of astronomy articles, no capital for sun. All the best, Simon Burchell (talk) 16:56, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
But our article on the topic is an FA, and it uses "Sun" throughout. RO(talk) 17:02, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
Which article? Sun? It's an astronomy article, so uses caps as per MOS:CELESTIALBODIES. Simon Burchell (talk) 17:03, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
The CMOS suggests lower case expect in publications in the field of astronomy or science, where it is considered a proper noun, as the name of our star is "the Sun". RO(talk) 17:10, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
That is exactly what Simon is saying and why the sun should not be capitalized here. You are not referring to the star but to sunlight on earth.·maunus · snunɐɯ· 17:13, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
I was agreeing here, Maunus. This is not scientific article, so I agree that lower case is better. RO(talk) 17:15, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
Fixed. RO(talk) 17:27, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
  • I don't think the map in the infobox is particularly helpful to anyone not already familiar with New Mexico - with no labels, and no national map for comparison. Simon Burchell (talk) 17:19, 8 May 2015 (UTC)
Agreed and removed ([3]). RO(talk) 17:26, 8 May 2015 (UTC)

Background

Done. RO(talk) 17:42, 8 May 2015 (UTC)
  • ...developed within the local Archaic population - it would be good to have an approximate date range in brackets for the Archaic period. Simon Burchell (talk) 17:27, 8 May 2015 (UTC)
Done. RO(talk) 17:42, 8 May 2015 (UTC)
When I put in period spans like this (particularly prehistoric period spans), I would normally put: (c. 6,000 to 800 BCE), since the dating isn't precise. Simon Burchell (talk) 18:10, 8 May 2015 (UTC)
Good idea. Done. RO(talk) 18:28, 8 May 2015 (UTC)

Location and alignment

  • "The Continental divide" - this should be "The continental divide". Simon Burchell (talk) 16:46, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
Fixed. RO(talk) 17:27, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
Fixed. RO(talk) 17:27, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Reading between the lines, I understand that the ruins are in the bottom of the canyon - it would be best to state this explicitly. Simon Burchell (talk) 17:09, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
Added some clarification. RO(talk) 17:27, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "Led by the governor of Jemez Pueblo, Francisco Horta, Simpson and the brothers Richard and Edward Kern, an artist and cartographer, respectively, explored the canyon." - this sentence does not read very well and could do with rephrasing, perhaps along the lines of A group led by the governor of Jemez Pueblo explored the canyon; its members included Francisco Horta, Simpson, and the brothers Richard and Edward Kern, who were respectively an artist and a cartographer. Simon Burchell (talk) 17:45, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
How about this variation that makes it clear Horta was the governor of Jemez Pueblo ([4])? RO(talk) 18:39, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
Thanks, that's much better. Simon Burchell (talk) 20:45, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Chetro Ketl's position is symmetrical to Pueblo Bonito - in relation to what? Simon Burchell (talk) 17:16, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
Does this edit make it more clear ([5])? RO(talk) 17:22, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
Yes, much better. Simon Burchell (talk) 17:48, 11 May 2015 (UTC)

Construction

  • Not sure in this one, it might just be down to differences in national varieties of English, but from a British perspective, "and a comparative masonry analysis to assemble a constructional history of Chetro Ketl" - constructional history looks weird, and I would have used "construction history". Simon Burchell (talk) 17:23, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
Yup, that's better. Fixed. RO(talk) 17:25, 11 May 2015 (UTC)

Background and discovery

  • Vizcarra's account is the first historical record of the Chacoan great houses that were, "of such antiquity - there is an out-of-place comma directly before the quote. Simon Burchell (talk) 17:29, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
Removed. RO(talk) 18:39, 4 May 2015 (UTC)

Abandonment

  • "Judge describes it as...", "Fagan states that...", "He cites a study that...", "Windes believes that...", "Archeologists John R. Stein, Dabney Ford, and Richard Friedman believe that..." - all redundant. Simon Burchell (talk) 21:23, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
All of these except the Windes one, which I've removed, are introducing quotes, and the speaker of a quote needs to be mentioned in-line whenever it's not clear. Is that correct? RO(talk) 21:35, 11 May 2015 (UTC)

General comment

  • There's an awful lot of statements sprinkled throught the article along the lines of "Fagan described" or "according to..." I think that such constructions are unnecessary, since the information should be cited to the author anyway. For example According to archeologists Dean and Warren, dendrochronology indicates that "no trees were cut for use [at Chetro Ketl] after 1117" looses nothing by being rewritten as Dendrochronology indicates that no trees were cut for use at Chetro Ketl after 1117. as long as the information is properly cited, and doesn't follow the wording of the original too closely. Simon Burchell (talk) 17:53, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
That's a good point. I'll work on it. RO(talk) 18:35, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
Simon Burchell, if you point out some more specific examples I'll do my best to paraphrase them. Do you think there's now enough detail about the Puebloans and their culture? RO(talk) 19:12, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
There are far too many to list - just following the previous example, and within the same section, there is "Hawley describes", "Fagan described", "In archeologist Edgar L. Hewett's opinion", "Archeologist Mary Metcalf estimates" - all this in the space of 3 paragraphs. Simon Burchell (talk) 21:10, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
Or rather there were - I've just refreshed the page, and it looks like the text changed somewhat from the version I was last reading, but even so there is "In her opinion" etc. All of these expressions are, with very rare exceptions, redundant. Simon Burchell (talk) 21:14, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
I removed two of those, but I thought the speaker of a quote needs to attributed in-line. Is that incorrect? RO(talk) 21:46, 11 May 2015 (UTC)
Simon Burchell, I've made some substantial changes since you last looked. Care to take another? RO(talk) 20:00, 19 May 2015 (UTC)
I'm concentrating on the Maya civilization FAC at the moment, but will try to find time to come back. All the best, Simon Burchell (talk) 21:06, 19 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Maunus[edit]

Comment Doesn't Etymology usually go at the top of an article? It does is in settlement articles I've promoted.♦ Dr. Blofeld 11:38, 13 May 2015 (UTC)

I think it was moved for chronology sake, since Chetro Ketl probably didn't exist as a name until 1849. RO(talk) 21:49, 13 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments by Wehwalt[edit]

I'm going to do this in pieces, since it is fairly long and densely written. Seems generally good.

Lede
  • "dramatic crop failures". I wonder if the word "dramatic" is worth dispensing with.
  • Although the photograph probably makes it clear, it should IMO be stated in the first paragraph what the house was made of.
  • "irrigated farms fields" Farms doesn't work as an adjective in AmEng. Maybe either take off the s or make it "irrigated fields for farming". I'd go with Column B. For similar reasons I think I'd make "fresh-water" into "freshwater". Ditto "In the cliffs" to "On the cliffs"
  • If they call it "downtown Chaco" then shouldn't downtown be capped?
  • Since the fourth paragraph of the lede would normally, I think, be split into two paragraphs except you can't because that would make it 5, I wonder if the lede is trying to do too much.
  • "early 19th century" 1849, I suppose, is marginally more early than it is late, still ...
  • Can kiva be linked for us peons? Variety of coffee, I thought.
Background
  • I wonder at the structure of the article, it seems very linear. Can the sections about the history be grouped under the heading "history"?
  • "At least two groups of transitional Basketmaker II peoples inhabited the San Juan Basin" should it be people rather than peoples?
  • "During the years 1 to 400" This sounds exact, possibly because of the use of the year 1. Possibly it should be made a little more vague: "During the first four centuries CE"?
  • "enabled the boiling" Perhaps "permitted the boiling". Would a "for the first time" be justified?
  • "at least two such communities had been established in Chaco Canyon; the largest and most consequential is known as the La Plata.[7] One of the earliest La Plata settlements," this is mildly confusing. I think of a "community" as a village or neighborhood, perhaps, but this seems to imply a culture with several areas. (also, the use of the "the" before La Plata in one usage and not in the other looks odd, though I am sure it is correct.
  • "when the canyon was home to a few hundred people" this actually sheds no light on the earlier part of the sentence, so I don't know why it is included as a part thereof. Can the dominant theory as to why the village came not to be occupied be stated?
  • " the very first pueblos" you should probably link here to pueblo. A bit about what this shift meant in terms of the kind of structures built might be good.
  • "emigrants from". Not my strong suit, but I think this should be "immigrants from"--Wehwalt (talk) 13:00, 16 May 2015 (UTC)
Thanks for taking a look at this, Wehwalt! I've attempted to address most of your above suggestions with this series of edits: ([23]). As for the others, Lekson coined the term "downtown Chaco", and he doesn't cap it, so neither did I. Taking a quick look at others that use the term I see that they too leave it lower-cased. I couldn't see a good spot to insert sandstone in the first paragraph, so I added it to the mention of how many blocks were used.
RE: I wonder at the structure of the article, it seems very linear. Can the sections about the history be grouped under the heading "history"? Which sections would you make level three? I assume you mean Construction through Excavation?
RE: "when the canyon was home to a few hundred people" this actually sheds no light on the earlier part of the sentence, so I don't know why it is included as a part thereof. Can the dominant theory as to why the village came not to be occupied be stated? I'm not aware of any prevailing theory on why Shabik'eshchee Village was abandoned, but it's likely that the residents moved to a pueblo in the canyon. I mention the population here not as a reflection on Shabik'eshchee, but to give the reader a sense of how many people lived in the canyon before the great house building began. RO(talk) 16:14, 16 May 2015 (UTC)
Some more.
Picking up
Location
  • A sentence on how the canyon came to be, geologically speaking, would not be amiss.
  • Is the external image in accord with policy? Not saying it isn't, just the first time I've seen one.
Construction
  • Unless I'm missing something, you never actually say what the building's made of nor how, in general terms, it was constructed. There's much discussion of trees. Were logs used, or smaller bits of lumber? If the logs were used, how were they transported over rather difficult country? I see discussions of masonry and the images suggest that stone was used, but what do I know? If stone was used, was it local or was more suitable stone brought in from elsewhere if the local rocks wouldn't do? Roofs? (I see at the end of the section, "sandstone blocks" is thrown in, but a bit late to the party)
  • "regular annual intervals" this seems unclear to me.
  • "The population of the great house might have been large enough that laborers gathered structural wood during the agricultural season, or this might indicate that groups of Chacoans were dedicated to tree felling irrespective of the farming season, when most others were busy with field preparation and planting." If I'm reading this right, both alternatives seem to amount to the same thing: there were enough Chacoans that even during the farming season, they had labor they could devote to tree-felling.
  • "Dendrochronology" Not linked on first use. You do link on second use.
Abandonment
  • Why did people settle in the outlying communities? Should be explained, I think.
  • "A haphazardly applied layer of rubble veneer to ceremonial areas in Chetro Ketl's great kiva" Rubble veneer appears to be a technique to construct walls. I gather what happened is they constructed them to shield wall decorations from the elements, but the article sounds like horizontal areas were covered with it.
Re-discovery
  • "The proper archeological investigation" possibly scientific for proper.
  • "after an invitation to survey the canyon" from?
Excavation
  • Why is trash mound piped and the earlier refuse mound not?
  • "prove elusive" perhaps "remain elusive". The situation could change.
Description
  • " twelve round rooms, or kivas" Possibly the description would do more good on first use.
  • "The "long, narrow, curving, hall-like room", which runs along the outside wall" Why is the quotation necessary? Why can't it be paraphrased? Lots of twisty little passages, or so I gather.
Great Kiva
  • "Thirty-nine crypts" Were these used for the housing of remains? They do not seen large enough. Link or explain, I would.
Colonnade
  • Given the build up, I'm surprised no image, sketch, whatnot.
  • I've looked, but I haven't found anything yet. It might have something to do with the fact that it was later filled in with masonry to make more rooms, so it's less than impressive in its current state. I'll be there again this summer, so if I haven't found a good PD image I'll take a few myself. RO(talk) 22:41, 20 May 2015 (UTC)
Agriculture
  • "stone ware" I think "stoneware" is more usual
Purpose
  • "These pilgrims probably assisted in the construction of Chetro Ketl, while "confirming their affiliation with the larger ritual alliance"." I would change "while" to "thus"
  • "Because the Chacoans relied on rainfall to enable their agricultural pursuits in a particularly arid environment, the focus of their ceremonialism was likely "appeals for moisture"" This seems too long winded. I would get to the point with something like "As water was crucial to the success of the Chacoans' farming and their survival, in their rituals, they most likely prayed for rain".
Chacoan system
  • "at the location" which?
Deterioration
  • I would split the second sentence of the first paragraph at the semicolon.
Generally seems pretty good. I'd review whether information on a subject is presented in a cohesive fashion.--Wehwalt (talk) 16:18, 17 May 2015 (UTC)
Wehwalt, thanks for this review! I believe I've fixed all the problems you mentioned ([24]), except maybe for a picture of the colonnade, which I'm still looking for. If you are willing to take another look to confirm or deny I'd really appreciate it! RO(talk) 19:59, 19 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Mirokado[edit]

  • Background
    • crystalize: looking in Merriam-Webster it seems that "crystallize" is the normal American spelling. For "crystallise" they say "British variant of crystallize". It looks as if this one needs the double ell (and zed).
      I've just noticed that is in a quote so if it is like that in the quote I guess we should keep it. --Mirokado (talk) 15:10, 17 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Construction
    • The population of the great house might have been large enough that laborers gathered structural wood during the agricultural season, or this might indicate that groups of Chacoans were dedicated to tree felling irrespective of the farming season, when most others were busy with field preparation and planting. Wehwalt has also mentioned this. There seems no distinction between the alternatives, although it did make more sense once I had read page 239 of ref 28, where it is clear that the distinction is between enough in-house labour even at busy times and the existence of specialized groups elsewhere in the area. Perhaps rephrase this to make it clearer and change the ref to just page 239.
  • Re-discovery
    • Is "Rediscovery" not better? Again looking in Merriam-Webster the entry is a collection of words including the "re-" prefix, but all of them are listed without the hyphen. MOS:HYPHEN says "There is a clear trend to join both elements ... particularly in American English."
  • Excavation
    • who is R. Gwinn Vivian?
    • I didn't understand the reference to "dry hole" in the quote ending "... the notion that Chetro Ketl was a 'dry hole'": the preceding "although" leads the reader to expect the following phrase to have the opposite meaning. This was also clearer once I had read the reference. I think it is necessary to rephrase the paragraph from "Lekson notes that..." on, perhaps without the quotes, clarifying the reference to the later discovery of wooden figures and archaeologists' general disappointment.
  • Great kiva
    • How high was the internal space when the roof was present (one, two, ... stories)? Was the roof a single span or were there supporting posts?
      Still trying to visualise the kiva's height (actually both the internal height of the enclosed space and how high the roof was from the surrounding ground level). --Mirokado (talk) 21:41, 18 May 2015 (UTC)
      I haven't been able to find it yet, but I'll dig it up. RO(talk) 21:48, 18 May 2015 (UTC)
      I found some ceiling height estimates for several other great kivas, but it looks like the exact figure for Chetro Ketl is unknown, but this edit ([25]) should address your point, which was a good one! Thanks! RO(talk) 20:56, 19 May 2015 (UTC)
      Thanks. My imagination was in this case incorrect so the addition will help the reader. --Mirokado (talk) 02:15, 20 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Agriculture and pottery
    • I particularly like this section and its accompanying illustrations. Would it be possible to do something similar for the various types of stonework so the reader can see a picture of each next to the description?
      Excellent new section on Masonry. Thanks. --Mirokado (talk) 21:41, 18 May 2015 (UTC)
      Thanks for the excellent suggestion! RO(talk) 21:48, 18 May 2015 (UTC)

This is about an evocative period of American prehistory and is a worthy subject for a featured article. --Mirokado (talk) 14:55, 17 May 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for taking a look and offering some great suggestions, Mirokado! RO(talk) 21:48, 18 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Jaguar[edit]

  • "Chaco scholars estimate that it required more than 500,000 person-hours" - I would rename this to "man-hours" personally as it's the most generally used term
Person-hours is gender neutral, which I like, but it's also the term used by the cited source. RO(talk) 20:08, 28 May 2015 (UTC)
  • It seems somewhat odd for the Background section to open up with "In 1973" and the rest of the section opens with entries from 200 BCE!
Fixed. RO(talk) 20:08, 28 May 2015 (UTC)
  • I would consider adding a few more links around the article as some sections are looking dry of links — there are some things that a layman wouldn't be able to understand
I'll take a look for potential links. RO(talk) 20:08, 28 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "The harder, tabular stone was easier to shape, so the Chacoan's preferred it" - might sound better as Chacoan's preferred the harder, tabular stone as it was easier to shape
I like that, so I've adopted your language. Thanks! RO(talk) 20:08, 28 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "Good veneer minimized the amount of exposed mortar, which reduced maintenance while maximizing stone contact, which increased the strength of the wall and reduced the possibility of structural failure" - how about Good veneer minimized the amount of exposed mortar, which reduced maintenance while maximizing stone contact and increasing the strength of the wall. It also reduced the possibility of structural failure.
Another fine suggestion. Done. RO(talk) 20:08, 28 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "with third story additions to central kiva G in masonry style V" - should Style be capitalised (as it was before)?
I don't think so, as it's not capped in the source. RO(talk) 20:08, 28 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "The trash mound was" - is there a reason why it's called trash mound? Sounds informal
That's a fair point, so I've changed "trash" to "refuse". RO(talk) 20:08, 28 May 2015 (UTC)
The article doesn't use any online sources per se; those examples are to printed material that is available online via PDF. I might be wrong, but I don't think access dates are required for printed material. RO(talk) 20:08, 28 May 2015 (UTC)

I am afraid that's all I could find due to me coming to the review late, but other than that it looks like an excellent article! JAGUAR  18:23, 28 May 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the peer review, Jaguar! RO(talk) 20:08, 28 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Monday 27 April 2015, 21:45 UTC)----


Everyday life[edit]

Sunday football in Northern Ireland[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I have made it a GA and I was wondering if there were any improvements I should make before taking it to FA?

Thanks, The C of E God Save the Queen! (talk) 09:03, 23 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Saturday 23 May 2015, 09:03 UTC)----


A. R. Rahman[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I want to promote it to GA.

Thanks, RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 06:37, 10 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Sunday 10 May 2015, 06:37 UTC)----


Highland cattle[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I would like feedback as to how it could get up to FA.

Thanks, TheMagikCow (talk) 15:15, 3 May 2015 (UTC)

Comment from Tim riley[edit]

I'm afraid I have limited expertise on this subject, and can't help much with the peer review. The article looks rather on the short side for a Featured Article, but perhaps you have said all there is to say. I'd suggest comparing it side by side with other articles on edible animals: the Aylesbury duck, for example, which has got its FA status. The various topics covered there may give you pointers about fleshing out this article, if there is indeed any scope for so doing. Tim riley talk 12:20, 24 May 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the comments. Could we get somebody with experience from WP:FARM to do review? TheMagikCow (talk) 15:47, 28 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Sunday 3 May 2015, 15:15 UTC)----


Engineering and technology[edit]

General[edit]

2003 Cricket World Cup Final[edit]

A recently promoted GA which I'd like to make an FA. I've no clue as to how to proceed further since we don't have a model FA in WP:CRIC. We do have FAs on Test matches (Ashes) but the degree of comprehensiveness is subject to vary much for a One-day game. Suggestions pertaining to improvement of prose are most welcome. Look forward to your comments and suggestions. Vensatry (ping) 14:06, 27 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Wednesday 27 May 2015, 14:08 UTC)----


2015 Daytona 500[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I want to make this a Featured Article, and I wish to know what I need to do to boost my chances of it being successful.

Thanks, Nascar king 11:30, 18 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Monday 18 May 2015, 11:30 UTC)----


1967 Intercontinental Cup[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I've added significant amount of content and would like a view on what I've done and what improvements/ changes would be appropriate.

Thanks, ShugSty (talk) 14:23, 16 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Csisc[edit]

First, I thank you for your initiative to review the work for the 1967 Intercontinental Cup... The work is important because it describes very well the problems faced by the first editions for this important competition... It gives a very good overview about the situation in which such competitions were held and played and detailed and most important information about what exactly happened. However, I think that this is not sufficient... More information should be efficiently provided...

  • Circumstances: Minor information are provided about how teams had travelled to play the games, where they had lived during the games, how they afforded the expenses of the travels, how they did the physical preparations to play the games... These details are important to see the situation provided to the two teams to play this match. You can use citations from players who assisted to this important match and get some information about this from the references that are cited in this work...
  • Supporters: You can write about sponsors who afforded some money for the two teams to play this important competititon and for the organization of the two games... You can also talk about the reason of the choice of Uruguay for playing the third game... These details are important and can be useful to see the situation of football in that particular period... You can also talk about the supporters and how they had travelled to see the games and how they react after the three games... You can talk about the name of the supporters and their wears and clothes and how these clothes were made and brought... You can talk about supporting songs of the two teams and if they had worsened the situation... So, you have the choice on how to proliferate your work...
  • Objects: You can write about the wear of the two teams and if they were made particularly from the Intercontinental Cup... You can talk about how they were made... You can even talk about the balls of this important competition. You can describe it and even give some further information about how they were designed and the comments of the interested audience about them... This details could be extremely important although there are not the main ones for this important work...
  • Amelioration: You can ameliorate the work by developing the part about the rules of the 1967 Intercontinental Cup by involving more detailed information about the rules for the choice of the place of the third game, the choice of referees for games... You can talk also about the fees of the tickets to see the games, the fees provided to referees... The part about the final third game has to be proliferated and developed by including the reactions of the players during the third game and what they have done in the last minutes of the match and after the match... "After the game, the Scottish dressing room was invaded by Argentinian fans and a battle between Argentinian and Uruguayan (who supported Celtic) fans broke out outside the stadium" should be more developed and the part talking about what exactly happened after the competitions should be proliferated by involving more details about talking more about what happened to players after these circumstances. These details are important and I think that developing them will help you ameliorate the structure of your paper and the coverage of the paper to all the important detailed information of the competition.

Yours Sincerely,

--Csisc (talk) 11:14, 17 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Saturday 16 May 2015, 14:23 UTC)----


MediEvil (video game)[edit]

I'm seriously contemplating submitting this to FAC in the future, any advice considering the prose/organization of the article would be greatly appreciated. Luckily I have a few extra sources for this.

Thanks, JAGUAR  17:56, 29 April 2015 (UTC)

No comments in a month. I'll have to risk this at FAC JAGUAR  20:55, 26 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Wednesday 29 April 2015, 17:57 UTC)----


Geography and places[edit]

History[edit]

Vénus de Quinipily[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to take it up to FAC soon. Looking forward to some constructive criticism on the article based on a statue built around 49 BC. Thanks, - Vivvt (Talk) 00:49, 25 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Monday 25 May 2015, 00:49 UTC)----


Mutiny on the Bounty[edit]

"Mr Christian, come here!" The story of Captain Bligh and Mr Christian is well known and ingrained into modern culture thanks to successful novels and film depictions. But are these accurate to historical events? Only superficially for the most part. The popular accounts commonly depict Christian as effectively forced into action by the incessant cruelty of a psychopathic Bligh towards the crew, but this is not borne out by the evidence—Bligh actually gave out an exceptionally low number of floggings for the time. The real captain's "violence" was one of towering rages and humiliating conversational put-downs, which along with other psychological stressors destabilised Christian to the extent that he deposed his mentor Bligh and seized the ship.

Brianboulton and I hereby present our account of the real life incident, in my opinion a far more complex and interesting occurrence than the simplified version presented in the fictionalised accounts. All comments welcome. —  Cliftonian (talk)  22:07, 22 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Tim riley[edit]

This is a very fine piece of work, and I have precious little to offer by way of suggestion. You might perhaps expand the lists of runners by putting an asterisk against the mutineers, and possibly adding another column saying where/how each crew member died, if known. There are a lot of names for the reader to remember and distinguish between (Heywood and Hayward don't help!)

I actually made a conscious decision to leave this information out here to avoid "giving the ending away", as it were—a more complete list along the lines you describe is at the companion article Complement of HMS Bounty, which is linked from the top of that section. —  Cliftonian (talk)  14:46, 23 May 2015 (UTC)

That apart, there are, to my mind, a few blue-links that didn't oughter be there. We are bid not to link the names of major geographic features and locations, which, me judice, would include the Pacific, Atlantic and Indian oceans and the West Indies.

OK —  Cliftonian (talk)  14:46, 23 May 2015 (UTC)

Prose points, of astonishing unimportance:

  • Lead
    • "Relations between Bligh and his crew deteriorated after he began handing out increasingly harsh punishments, Christian being a particular target for verbal criticism and abuse" – the second part of this sentence doesn't quite fit with the first. "Harsh punishments" are not the same as "verbal criticism and abuse". (We might go into Pedant-overdrive while we're at it and ask what form criticism can take that is non-verbal). I'd be inclined to end the first sentence at "punishments" and roll the rest of it into the following one.
      • I've redrawn to "Relations between Bligh and his crew deteriorated after he began handing out increasingly harsh punishments, criticism and abuse, Christian being a particular target." —  Cliftonian (talk)  14:46, 23 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Crew
    • "Although Christian was willing..." – I'm not sure of the import of the "Although", which seems to deny a causality that I can't spot
  • To Cape Horn
    • "Adverse winds and weather" – aren't winds part of weather?
      • Trimmed to just "weather" —  Cliftonian (talk)  14:46, 23 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Cape to Pacific
    • "he summoned the crew and read the Articles of War" – I take it this is a naval equivalent of formally reading the Riot Act, but an explanatory footnote might be helpful
      • Yes, essentially—the Articles of War were the regulations under which the Navy operated. The notable thing here is that rather than attempting to deal with Fryer's defiance man-to-man, Bligh pointedly made a public spectacle in front of all those Fryer outranked, knowing that Fryer could hardly then refuse to co-operate. —  Cliftonian (talk)  14:46, 23 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Settlement
    • "virtually inaccessible" – but they had accessed it.
      • Hence "virtually" as opposed to "completely". The Admiralty had Pitcairn marked incorrectly so it could not co-ordinate any search mission there. Pitcairn is hard to get to even today. —  Cliftonian (talk)  14:46, 23 May 2015 (UTC)
    • "by 1794 the six Tahitian men" – I think this is the first we've heard of there being six of them, but it reads as if we already know.
      • We say above when they leave Tahiti that there were "20 Polynesians, of whom 14 were women". —  Cliftonian (talk)  14:46, 23 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Cultural impact
    • "an unjust tyrant" – tautology?
      • Have changed to "overbearing" as in lead. —  Cliftonian (talk)  14:46, 23 May 2015 (UTC)

That really is my lot. I learned a lot from this article and am grateful to you both for a most enjoyable and intructive read. – Tim riley talk 10:25, 23 May 2015 (UTC)

DSC 6068-lord-naas-earl-mayo.JPG
In passing, there is a pub in Cockermouth called the Fletcher Christian: it is on the left in this picture of the man who invented salad cream. I often pass it, and I shall adjourn there next month with my brother and drink a toast to the Bounty and its learned historians. Tim riley talk 13:36, 23 May 2015 (UTC)
I shall have to lead an excursion to Cockermouth one day just so I can visit the Fletcher Christian—perhaps as a detour on the way up or back home when Luton play at Carlisle. Thank you for your extremely kind words and the helpful notes, Tim. —  Cliftonian (talk)  14:46, 23 May 2015 (UTC)

Nautical Nitpicks from Cassianto[edit]

Reading through now, comments to follow... CassiantoTalk 10:34, 23 May 2015 (UTC)

Crew

  • "Among these was Fletcher Christian, 23 years old, from a wealthy Cumberland family descended from Manx gentry." → "Among these was the 23-year-old Fletcher Christian, who came from a wealthy Cumberland family descended from Manx gentry."?
  • Why are you quoting gardeners?
    • Because the word would not be used that way today. —  Cliftonian (talk)  14:56, 23 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Third para we introduce Peckover again with "gunner".

Cape to Pacific

  • Do we know why Christian lent Bligh money? Being stuck on a ship in the middle of the ocean, I can't imagine he'd need it for anything?
    • This was during the five weeks they were docked at the Cape of Good Hope. Christian probably wanted some money to spend on shore. —  Cliftonian (talk)  14:56, 23 May 2015 (UTC)

Tahiti

  • "Among the belongings Churchill left on the ship Bligh found a list of names that he interpreted as possible accomplices in a desertion plot—he later asserted that the names included those of Christian and Heywood." There seems to be a comma missing from between "ship" and "Bligh". Also, after the first hyphen, we say "he" which seeing as we speak of both Christian and Bligh, may add slight confusion. Suggest: "Among the belongings Churchill left on the ship was a list of names that Bligh interpreted as possible accomplices in a desertion plot—the captain later asserted that the names included those of Christian and Heywood." Or something like that.
    • I've used your suggested wording—thanks for this —  Cliftonian (talk)  14:56, 23 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "By 1 April the work was done, and on 5 April 1789" →"By 1 April the work was done, and four days later..." or "By 1 April 1789 the work was done, and four days later..." My thinking here is that it could be confused with them leaving the following year as some may think we are still in 1788. It also required me to flick back up the article to remind me what year we were in.
    • Redrawn as you suggest—good catch —  Cliftonian (talk)  14:56, 23 May 2015 (UTC)

This seems excellent so far and I'm enjoying it more on every section, more to come. CassiantoTalk 11:01, 23 May 2015 (UTC)

  • Thank you for all of this so far Cassianto. —  Cliftonian (talk)  14:56, 23 May 2015 (UTC)

Support – Gents, I have now finished reading and I have no further comments. It is beautifully written, thoughtfully illustrated, very well sourced and researched and more exciting than perhaps any book or film that has come since. I can honestly say that this is the best article I have read this year, if not the last two. CassiantoTalk 11:15, 24 May 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for your nitpicks and for these exceedingly generous comments. Maybe save the support for the FAC – more use there, I think? Brianboulton (talk) 14:19, 24 May 2015 (UTC)
Doh! Of course, I became confused with the Carl Nielsen FAC which I was reading at the same time. I shall support nonetheless. CassiantoTalk 15:12, 24 May 2015 (UTC)
Thank you for the offered support and the extremely kind words, Cassianto. I'm glad you enjoyed the article. —  Cliftonian (talk)  15:51, 24 May 2015 (UTC)
Yes, Cass, we'll go for a walk later. No, chilly, dear! Tim riley talk 16:28, 25 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments from the Doctor[edit]

Reading shortly...♦ Dr. Blofeld 11:06, 24 May 2015 (UTC)

Background
  • "Bounty was refitted under Banks's supervision at Deptford". Can you link the full Deptford Dockyard here, and add "on the River Thames", otherwise it looks like a village initially. Also what date was it refitted?
  • Link and Thames added. No dates are given for the refitting work, but by inference this would be during the summer of 1787, as the ship was acquired in May and left Deptford in October. I don't think we need more than this. Brianboulton (talk) 14:16, 24 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "Bligh found himself ashore on half-pay" -do we know what his wages were? Perhaps a footnote?
ah, you do later explain "his lieutenant's pay of four shillings a day (£70 a year) contrasted with the £500 a year he had earned as captain of Britannia". so should be OK.
Mutiny
  • Link cannibalism?
  • I imagine the meaning is pretty widely known? Brianboulton (talk) 14:16, 24 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "There were persistent clashes with the native population, culminating in a pitched battle in which 66 islanders were killed and a large number wounded" -I think this could use some elaboration here and more detail on some of what happened.
  • There's not a lot of information in the sources, except that it was the culmination of constant clashes, mainly over property and women. I've added that bit, but there are no details of the actual fighting. Brianboulton (talk) 14:16, 24 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Link Tahitian language
Retribution
  • Link Portsmouth Harbour

Superb account, very difficult to find anything to mention here.♦ Dr. Blofeld 13:02, 24 May 2015 (UTC)

  • Thanks for these comments, small fixes all done. Brianboulton (talk) 14:16, 24 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. - Dank (push to talk)

  • I copyedited down to "Bounty under Christian". It's a really engaging, gripping article.These are my edits. - Dank (push to talk) 20:47, 25 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Thank you for the copyediting and the kind words, Dan. As always a pleasure to have contributions from you. —  Cliftonian (talk)  02:03, 26 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments by Wehwalt[edit]

Bounty stone, Venus Beach, Tahiti

Always been interested in this story ... very little to comment on

  • What's the whole HMS v HMAV thing?
  • The standard form "His Majesty's Ship" is usually used but "His Majesty's Armed Vessel" occasionally crops up (here for example). The inclusion of both forms right at the start, and "HMS" thereafter, was my attempt to reflect this. —  Cliftonian (talk)  05:11, 26 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Out of curiosity, what do contemporary documents say?--Wehwalt (talk) 10:54, 26 May 2015 (UTC)
  • " captain Lieutenant William Bligh, " the juxtaposition of ranks suggests that a comma might be inserted
Bligh
  • "Captain James Cook's third and final voyage (1776–80)" well, if you are inclined to be picky about things, you might note that Cook didn't make it past 1778.
  • Added a footnote to clarify this —  Cliftonian (talk)  05:11, 26 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "Appointment to Cook's ship, at the age of 21, was a considerable honour, although Bligh believed that his contribution was not properly acknowledged in the expedition's official account." There's considerable jumping around in time right here, and a "had been" may be justified.--Wehwalt (talk) 14:13, 28 May 2015 (UTC)
  • I've attempted to redraw this; is it better now? —  Cliftonian (talk)  05:11, 26 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Is it possible to give the ages of Peckover and Lebogue?
  • Peckover was 39 and Lebogue was 40 (according to Wahlroos). —  Cliftonian (talk)  05:11, 26 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "a community that in due course became celebrated as an exemplar of Victorian morality" Pity that didn't last into the 21st century ... there is a certain irony in your phrasing, beware.
  • I've attempted to rephrase to clarify that this does not extend to the time of the sexual assault scandal of 2004—"a community that over the next century became celebrated as an exemplar of Victorian morality". Is this okay? —  Cliftonian (talk)  05:11, 26 May 2015 (UTC)
  • In the cultural legacy section, I think the Nordhoff/Hall books did much to popularise the story even before the 1935 movie.
  • I've added a nod to these. Hopefully it fits into the prose well. —  Cliftonian (talk)  05:11, 26 May 2015 (UTC)
I think the article lives up to the subject.--Wehwalt (talk) 03:44, 26 May 2015 (UTC)
Thank you for this, Wehwalt—very helpful. I'm glad you like the article. —  Cliftonian (talk)  05:11, 26 May 2015 (UTC)
No problem, will look over your changes today when I am more awake. I sent Brian some photos I took on Tahiti, possibly he will forward them to you.--Wehwalt (talk) 10:54, 26 May 2015 (UTC)
OK —  Cliftonian (talk)  16:32, 26 May 2015 (UTC)
@Wehwalt: Thanks, Gary, for the Tahiti images, and apologies for the delay in acknowledgement – my email is having difficulties firing up. The pics include one of the Bounty memorial stone - could you upload this, as I think it would make a fine image for the article? Brianboulton (talk) 08:52, 28 May 2015 (UTC)
Glad to have them of use. I've uploaded it here.--Wehwalt (talk) 14:00, 28 May 2015 (UTC)
I've looked over the edits and they are fine. I'd more clearly state Bligh's success bringing breadfruit to the West Indies. There are two rather vague references to a second, successful breadfruit expedition, and you and I know what that means but the reader might not.--Wehwalt (talk) 14:14, 28 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Friday 22 May 2015, 21:50 UTC)----


Ladislaus I of Hungary[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because its comprehensiveness and neutrality should be chequed before its FA nomination.

Thanks, Borsoka (talk) 03:43, 12 May 2015 (UTC)

In the lead, "He occupied most parts of Croatia…" is awkward. Was it most of, some of, part of? Unless there are distinct, seperate parts of Croatia which I'm not aware of (I'm only aware of a couple of countries that have such) Gecko G (talk) 08:22, 12 May 2015 (UTC)
Gecko G, thank your for your comment. I modified the text. Borsoka (talk) 11:09, 12 May 2015 (UTC)
But we can't know the exact extent of territory that he gained control of. If he gained the lands south of Drava and north of Gvozd, then it was just northern Croatia (According to Thomas the Archdeacon's chronicle, Ladislaus "occupied the entire land from the River Drava to the mountains called the Iron Alps without encountering opposition".). Unlike today, in the 11th century the centre of Croatia was south around Knin, Biograd, Nin, Šibenik, Solin... not in Zagreb. He intervened in the succession crisis upon the request of his sister with support of a number of Croatian nobles, and after her death he was technically a legal heir to the throne. I would propose something like this: He intervened in the succession crisis in Croatia and gained control over northern parts of it. Tzowu (talk) 17:18, 12 May 2015 (UTC)
Tzowu: First, I take it your comment was directed at the previous section about his occupation of Croatia, and not his father's recieving of the Ducatus, so I hope it's ok that I'm moving it thusly.
Second, I turned to my collection of historical atlas to try to see if they could shed any light on what parts he occupied. I hadn't expected to find much since it was such a narrow window where the borders were in flux. I was surprised at the number of references I did find, but also very surprised to find that my various historical atlas's unfortunately disagree with one another. Cry.png And I didn't find anything useful in other references I had on hand. Looking around the 'net, apparently at the time Croatia did have two "parts" both called Croatia: Pannonian Croatia vs. Dalmatian Croatia, aka the Duchy of Croatia. Croatia proper is a much later term, a little over half of which is in Pannonian croatia, the remainder of which, along with northern Dalmatia made up the Duchy of Croatia. I wonder if that is the cause of the confusion in sources? It seems he conquered Pannonian Croatia (& Slavonia) for sure, but it's unclear how-much, if any, of Dalmatian Croatia he got.
Thirdly, about the center (or heartland) of Croatia at the time being in what is today considered northern Dalmatia, very good point - I found a source confirming such: "A strong state organisation was created in the basin of the Dalmatian rivers Cetina, Krka and Zrmanja, in the hinterland of the Byzantine cities of Split, Trogir and Zadar."[1] At least that's as of the late 9th/early 10th century, I presume it was still so in the late 11th (though apparently by this time Biograd & Nin were Venetian holdings[2], in the case of Biograd at least since earlier in the century[3]), so you are right that that is important to keep in mind.
Fine (1991) [which I cited twice just above] would likely make a good source for just how much of Croatia he occupied, unfortunately the page in question, page 284, is not available on Google Books.
Cheers, Gecko G (talk) 22:48, 12 May 2015 (UTC)
Yes, it was intented for that comment.
We can take 10 historical maps of Southeastern Europe during the Middle Ages and end up with 10 different versions of borders. Contemporary sources are very, very scarce about this time period, the contradictions you found are not unusual. What he definitely conquered was Pannonia. However, Croatian kings didn't really have a stable rule there even before and it was often regarded as terra nullus. It was mostly a swampy area. "Pannonian Croatia" and "Dalmatian Croatia" are names used by (some) historians for two earlier centuries' states, Duchy of Pannonia and Duchy of Croatia, or as names for 2 regions of Croatia in the 11th or 12th century.
I have the whole book and I can quote page 248. According to Fine, he "occupied much of Croatia, including part of Dalmatia", then after the attack of Cumans on Hungary he "pulled out of Dalmatia, but kept inland (Pannonian) Croatia." That territory was given to Almos who ruled there until 1095.
"The Hungarian king quickly intervened to protect his sister's interests (a fine excuse for what were probably his own ambitions) and occupied much of Croatia, including part of Dalmatia. However, some wild people (Pechenegs, according to Sisic, but more probably Cumans as argued by N. Klaic) then attacked Hungary, causing a partial withdrawal of the Hungarians. They pulled out of Dalmatia, but kept inland (Pannonian) Croatia. Between the Drava River and the Gvozd mountain they created a special Croatian banovina ruled by Almos, the nephew of the king. Almos was to hold this territory from 1091 to 1095." Tzowu (talk) 00:02, 13 May 2015 (UTC)
In the early years seciton, I made it clearer that it was the father who recieved the Duchy, not Ladislaus himself. And changed it to the Ducatus—as from my understanding it was not one of various duchies, like say with British or Swedish royal dukedom's or with French apanages, or what not, but rather a distinct, singular, entity. Gecko G (talk) 17:09, 12 May 2015 (UTC)
Two quick clarifications in the duke section, 2nd paragraph: 1st- was the Battle of Kemej the outbreak of the civil war? If not, when it started should probably be mentioned. 2nd- Where did he command the left flank? (at the battle of Mogyoród specifically or was it routinely his command?) Gecko G (talk) 09:32, 14 May 2015 (UTC)
Gecko G, thank you for your review. Sorry I do not know whether he routinely left the left flank or only at Mogyoród, but this information was only recorded in connection with the Battle of Mogyoród and I modified the article. The civil war started with the invasion of the duchy which ended with the Battle of Kemej. Borsoka (talk) 01:19, 15 May 2015 (UTC)
The Battle of Kemej ended the civil war or ended the invasion of the duchy? Gecko G (talk) 19:08, 17 May 2015 (UTC)
No, it was a battle during the civil war (and the invasion of the duchy). Borsoka (talk) 02:32, 18 May 2015 (UTC)
Sorry, I had planned to go over one section a day, but I haven't had the time to maintain that schedule. To help make up for it, I went through 3 sections today. Not sure what the etiquette is, if I should keep this near my other comments just above, or put it at teh bottom after Dank's review to keep it chronological. If the later, then anyone please feel free to move my remarks down.
In the "His reign, consolidation …" sub-section:
However, almost contemporaneous sources contradict this report seems you are either missing an "all" OR it should be "most" rather than "almost"
Thank you. Modified. Borsoka (talk) 02:32, 18 May 2015 (UTC)
In the sentence about Rudolf of Rheinfelden, Perhaps consider working in a link to either the Great Saxon Revolt and/or him being an antiking?
Thank you. Link added. Borsoka (talk) 02:32, 18 May 2015 (UTC)
In the "expansion" sub-section:
all looks good.
In the "Last years" sub-section:
2nd paragraph, 1st sentence. Is it possible to double check the exact wording in the illuminated chronicle in the quote used there, specifically 2 parts: The usage of an "and" rather than a comma between the first two items of the 4 item list, and also is it clarified what is meant by "Britain", since England is part of the physical island of Great Britain (thus that usage is odd).
Gecko G (talk) 19:05, 17 May 2015 (UTC)
I modified the second sentence after this sentence in order to emphasize that the whole story was only a later invention. The chronicler who wrote that sentence obviously did not know geography. Borsoka (talk) 02:32, 18 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. - Dank (push to talk)

  • "Cuman": quote marks here are ambiguous. Add "a Turkic nomad".
Dank, thank you for your comments. I would preserve the question marks, because "Ladislaus's fight with the Cuman" is the traditional name of that legend. I delinked the word and added a short text. Borsoka (talk) 03:21, 16 May 2015 (UTC)
  • " proclaimed king in 1074; however, Solomon maintained control": proclaimed king in 1074, but Solomon maintained control
Thank you, modified. Borsoka (talk) 03:21, 16 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "However, Solomon resisted Ladislaus with the assistance of King Henry IV of Germany. Consequently ... However": "However" and "Consequently" are heavier words than you need here; they reduce readability, especially with 3 occurrences in one paragraph.
Thank you, modified. Borsoka (talk) 03:21, 16 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "Cumans": Don't link the second occurrence.
Thank you, I delinked the first occurence (as per above). Borsoka (talk) 03:21, 16 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Tuesday 12 May 2015, 03:43 UTC)----


70th Infantry Division (United Kingdom)[edit]

Hi, this article has been completely overhauled in the last few months. Requesting feedback before taking the article to GA review. All comments welcome. Thanks, EnigmaMcmxc (talk) 23:33, 1 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. - Dank (push to talk)

  • Hi Enigma, good to see you. I have a few copyediting comments.
  • "The 70th Infantry Division was an infantry division of the British Army, which fought during": See WP:REDUNDANCY, part of LEAD. I recommend: "The 70th Infantry Division of the British Army fought during"
    Yes check.svg Done
  • "It was formed on 10 October 1941, via the renaming": I think "formed" is going to suggest to many readers that something happened other than changing names; even for those who get "via the renaming", there's a garden path here. This suggests that we're talking about a renaming: "On 10 October, for security reasons and in an attempt to confuse Axis intelligence when the division was fully redeployed, the 6th Infantry Division was renamed the 70th Infantry Division".
    I have done some rewording, although i am not sure if it is any better to be honest!EnigmaMcmxc (talk) 23:37, 9 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "would continue post-war": would continue after the war
    Yes check.svg Done
  • " the Australians inducted their British reliefs on life in the fortress.": "reliefs" seems jargony to me, and isn't listed at for instance Cambridge Dictionaries. "inducted ... on" is a rare usage.
    Attempted to address.EnigmaMcmxc (talk) 23:37, 9 May 2015 (UTC)
  • "Besieged, life was uncomfortable": Some say that "Besieged, their life was uncomfortable" doesn't fix the dangling modifier, because it's not "their" that's besieged", it's "they", but I side with those who say it does fix it, with a minimum of fuss. - Dank (push to talk) 00:55, 4 May 2015 (UTC)
    Went with a something a little different, does that work?EnigmaMcmxc (talk) 23:37, 9 May 2015 (UTC)
    I moved the apostrophe over one letter. It looks fine. - Dank (push to talk) 02:15, 10 May 2015 (UTC)
Thanks Dank for the comments. I will get to work on this soon, probably tomorrow. Regards.EnigmaMcmxc (talk) 01:39, 7 May 2015 (UTC)

Comments: looks quite good to me, well done. I have a couple of minor nitpicks: AustralianRupert (talk) 23:07, 9 May 2015 (UTC)

  • In the lead, "The author of the British Official history, as well as William Slim…" -->I’d suggest identifying the author by name here…
    Yes check.svg Done
  • Capitalisation: "2/13th battalion" should probably be changed to "2/13th Battalion" as it is a proper noun, same for 2/15th etc
    Yes check.svg Done
  • Capitalisation: "burden on Henry Wilson, General officer commanding British Troops in Egypt" --> "burden on Henry Wilson, General Officer Commanding British Troops in Egypt" as it appears to be a title in this case
    Yes check.svg Done
  • Capitalisation: "corps commander, lieutenant-general William Slim…" this should probably be changed to "corps commander, Lieutenant-General William Slim" because the rank is being used as a title here
    Yes check.svg Done
  • Capitalisation: “Wingate (now a Major-General) was…” this should probably be changed to "Wingate (now a major-general) was…" as it is not being used as a title here per WP:MILTERMS. * good luck with taking the article further. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 23:07, 9 May 2015 (UTC)
    Yes check.svg Done
Thanks for the comments guys. I have made the adjustments as indicated, or at least attempted to in some places.EnigmaMcmxc (talk) 23:37, 9 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Friday 1 May 2015, 23:33 UTC)----


Natural sciences and mathematics[edit]

Phanerozoic[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I've recently added a lot of info since I realized that this article is rated as Start Class. After adding the "Eras of the Phanerozoic" section, I believe that it's, at the very least, rated GA. If you disagree, don't be afraid to tell me. I'd appreciate your input!

Thanks, Dunkleosteus77 (talk) 23:00, 2 May 2015 (UTC)

I've notified WikiProject Geology about this PR, we could consider inviting editors from the volunteer list too. For GA, the article needs to pass a formal review per its criteria. At a quick glance, I would say the lead section has to be expanded to appropriate length. You can nominate it for GA if you wish to after this PR closes. -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 09:59, 15 May 2015 (UTC)

  • At the moment it would fail WP:DYK which is a pretty low bar. This is because not all paragraphs are referenced. The chances are that other references already used could do for the unreferenced paragraphs. I also think it dos not have enough on what the unit as a whol means, mostly it is taken up with the subdivisions. The boundary section needs boosting considerably, with references included. Also the pictures are focused on ancient animals, we could have something modern as that too is Phanerozoic, and plants could do with a showing. Also missing is history of plate tectonics, amount of carbon dioxide, and oxygen in the air, temperature. Are there any representative sections on the surface of the earth that covers the whole Phanerozoic? Graeme Bartlett (talk) 09:24, 16 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Saturday 2 May 2015, 23:00 UTC)----


Language and literature[edit]

Philosophy and religion[edit]

Social sciences and society[edit]

Montana Vigilantes[edit]

I've asked for a peer review in advance of an FAC attempt. Thanks -- Mike Cline (talk) 14:10, 24 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Sunday 24 May 2015, 14:10 UTC)----


La Martiniere Lucknow[edit]

Previous peer review

Please review this article...

Thanks, Martinian Leave a message! 11:35, 7 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Thursday 7 May 2015, 11:35 UTC)----


Lone Wolf v. Hitchcock[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because I'm trying to take this article to Featured Status.

Thanks, GregJackP Boomer! 19:00, 1 May 2015 (UTC)

Quick comment: WP:IMGLOC says we shouldn't let text be sandwiched between images like how it is in the Background section. Since there's a lack of space, maybe you could group the maps together using a horizontal Template:Multiple image? -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 09:34, 15 May 2015 (UTC)

Done - thanks, I had not thought about that solution. GregJackP Boomer! 13:30, 15 May 2015 (UTC)
I was thinking maybe, use the horizontal template for all three maps and place it in the center of the section...like a sort-of gallery, then the text won't be so stuffed to one side? You have another set (Younger, Elder and Hitchcock) which can be further put in the relevant section. -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 09:24, 20 May 2015 (UTC)
PS: From what I know about WP:GALLERY, this should be permitted. I'm not so experienced in FAs but I'm fairly certain this is allowed. -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 09:26, 20 May 2015 (UTC)
Done, as to the maps, I'm not as sure on the portrait photos. Elder is not connected with the lawsuit (he's in due to his role in the treaties), and when I did a preview with just Younger & Hitchcock, I didn't like the way it looked. I'll think about it some more though. GregJackP Boomer! 14:19, 20 May 2015 (UTC)
Hey it actually solved your problem. No need of doing any further work here, all images are well-spaced with no text sandwich. -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 16:09, 20 May 2015 (UTC)
Comments by Ugog Nizdast
  • Some image captions are sentence fragments but have a period, see WP:CAPFRAG.
  • "Main articles" links have been given for Kiowa people, Plains Apache and Comanche, Little Arkansas Treaty and Medicine Lodge Treaty, and Cultural assimilation of Native Americans. That would mean you need to summarise accordingly (WP:DETAIL) from the subarticles, over here. It doesn't seem to be the case for most of these examples, so you can replace them with the {{Further}} or {{Detail}} headers which don't require you to summarise where that is the case.
  • "By 1854, need for another treaty became apparent, the United States entered into a <second> treaty with the Kiowa, Comanche, and Kiowa-Appache (KCA) at Fort Ackinson, Indian Territory." For copyediting, redundancy should be reduced, these changes can be implemented if any significant meaning isn't altered. Try to find more such cases if you can.
  • "There was an attempt to place some of the tribes on a reservation" but it says previously that the treaty didn't? or did they separately try to do it? clarify. -Ugog Nizdast (talk) 11:39, 20 May 2015 (UTC)
  • Fixed captions.
  • Replaced "Main article" links with "Further" links.
  • OK, I'll look for others.
  • OK, I'll come up with clearer language. GregJackP Boomer! 14:35, 20 May 2015 (UTC)

(Peer review added on Friday 1 May 2015, 19:00 UTC)----


Lists[edit]

WikiProject peer-reviews[edit]



  1. ^ Goldstein, Ivo (1999). Croatia: A History. McGill-Queen's Press - MQUP. p. 17. ISBN 9780773520172. 
  2. ^ Fine, John Van Antwerp (1991). The Early Medieval Balkans: A Critical Survey from the Sixth to the Late Twelfth Century. University of Michigan Press. p. 281. ISBN 9780472081493. 
  3. ^ Fine, John Van Antwerp (1991). The Early Medieval Balkans: A Critical Survey from the Sixth to the Late Twelfth Century. University of Michigan Press. p. 276. ISBN 9780472081493.