Wikipedia:Peer review/Ah Boys to Men/archive1

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Ah Boys to Men[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I wish to promote this to GA-status, if not FA. I believe it is of far better quality than GAs like Money No Enough and I Not Stupid. I also wish to get helpful feedback so I would know what to improve and further work on.

Best, ☯ Bonkers The Clown \(^_^)/ Nonsensical Babble ☯ 13:38, 15 February 2013 (UTC)

Comments by Blofeld[edit]

  • Lead needs to be expanded to reflect the whole article.
Enhanced overview by adding home media release dates, background, music and the part on Dolby Atmos surround sound. ☯ Bonkers The Clown \(^_^)/ Nonsensical Babble ☯ 10:49, 13 March 2013 (UTC)
  • Plot is too long and bloated to read, part 2 is insufferable. Try to make it easier to read and use more paragraphing
Trimmed it a bit, and allowed for appropriate paragraphing. I have tried my best to shorten it; plot is bit lengthy as the film is considerably long. (But part one's plot is in fact longer then part two's!) ☯ Bonkers The Clown \(^_^)/ Nonsensical Babble ☯ 10:49, 13 March 2013 (UTC)
  • Cast appears disorganized, we don't usually add summaries of characters, some content might be suitable to a casting/production section
I have organized it a bit more, by unbulleting minor characters, but I feel it won't hurt or compromise the content by adding cited summaries of the character or the real life actor within the "Cast" list. ☯ Bonkers The Clown \(^_^)/ Nonsensical Babble ☯ 10:49, 13 March 2013 (UTC)
  • Themes, too short, haphazard arrangement of short sentences. The readability of the article is really affected by this sort of thing later on, some long paragraphs interspersed with paragraphs which are too short.♦ Dr. ☠ Blofeld 14:29, 9 March 2013 (UTC)
Made it more readable by consolidating into one paragraph of data ☯ Bonkers The Clown \(^_^)/ Nonsensical Babble ☯ 10:49, 13 March 2013 (UTC)