Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Olympic men's ice hockey players for Switzerland/archive1

List of Olympic men's ice hockey players for Switzerland

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I based it off the FLs List of Olympic men's ice hockey players for Canada and List of Men's World Ice Hockey Championship players for Canada (1977–present). I wish to have someone review it before I submit it for FLC.

Thanks, Anthony (talk) 21:51, 25 May 2011 (UTC)

Brianboulton comments: A very impressive list, though I think some work is necessary on the prose. Other than that, just a few nitpicks around the tables.

• The prose in the first two sentences is unnecessarily repetitive, and the senetences could be combined thus: "Men's ice hockey tournaments have been staged at the Olympic Games since 1920; the sport was permanently added to the Winter Olympic Games in 1924".
  • Fixed.
• The focus of the second paragraph seems to be on the American/Canadian NHL which is confusing to find in a list of Swiss players. Most of this information should be removed, as it has no bearing on this list. The change in the Olympics from amateur to open competition should be stated as a brief matter of fact; the NHL's private machinations are irrelevant.
  • The thing is, the NHL's involvement changed the Olympics forever, and although Switzerland isn't a hockey powerhouse like the USA or Canada, its involvement is still necessary to be noted. Not to mention that I was basing this off the Canada and US articles, both of which mention the NHL (as they would and should).
• In the Goaltenders table, what does the column headed "WC" mean?
  • Copied it over from a World Championships table and forgot to change it - fixed.
• There is no information in the "Notes" column in this table, so why have it?
  • Because there's a Notes column in the skaters table, and in the future there might be a note to throw in for a goalie, so it's there as a placeholder.
• Skaters table: The column heading "Olympics" is not informative. It should ne "No. of Olympics".
  • Fixed in the table explanation.
• The abbreviations for the Skaters table should be brought to the head of that table, for ease of reference.
  • All other hockey FLs list all the abbreviations up top for streamlining - keeps them all together.
• There are two links to disambiguation pages - see the toolbox on the right.
  • Fixed.

That's all, really. Brianboulton (talk) 23:36, 4 June 2011 (UTC)

• • Hope I addressed your concerns. Feel free to respond. Anthony (talk) 03:32, 5 June 2011 (UTC)