Wikipedia:Peer review/Octave Uzanne/archive1

Octave Uzanne[edit]

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Hello. I've been translating this article from eswiki, and I need a peer review because I wantes nominated it for GA (article was also nominated in the Spanish Wikipedia). Article may be translation problems (I am not a native speaker), but I want to help solve it.

Thanks, Jacobo Vásquez talk 02:43, 31 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I never cease to admire how capably many Wikipedia editors write in languages other than their own. That said, this article could do with a few tweaks to make the English idiomatic. I'd be happy to do this if you would like me to, Jacobo. Tim riley talk 11:52, 18 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! Jacobo Vásquez talk 03:00, 19 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I have copy-edited as best I can. In two places I was unable to work out what the text was intended to convey. The first is the de Gourmont 1927 quote box. I have removed the first sentence - though of course put it back if you wish - and I am not sure what the last sentence is intended to mean. The other bit I couldn't make sense of is "in relation to their work on women, Uzanne would not have been of such authors "exalted ragweed without tasting"," of which I can't make any sense whatever. If you can add here (on this peer review page) the original French, I can have a go at translating it into English (with a little help from friends who speak better French than I do). Tim riley talk 07:12, 19 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The first sentence of Gourmont is: « Uzanne s'intéresse à tout, mais à bien le pénétrer, on s'aperçoit que c'est à l'art que tendent ses préoccupations les plus diverses. Il l'a cherché jusque dans l'agencement matériel des livres, jusque dans la toilette féminine. » And the original quote on celibacy and Uzanne comes from this fragment of de Gourmont 1912:

Avant d'entamer l'éloge du célibat, Octave Uzanne en a mené sagement la vie, plus prudent que les poètes qui vantèrent l'ambroisie sans y avoir goûté. Cette précaution suffirait à me mettre en confiance si je n'avais mille autres raisons pour écouter complaisamment ses discours. Un homme parle de ses expériences. C'est une philosophie colorée par le rêve, car où mettrait-on du rêve, si on n'en mettait dans l'amour ?

In eswiki we discussed it, and may need details of writing in English. Jacobo Vásquez talk 17:23, 19 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I chuckled to see how "ambrosia" - the food of the gods - got itself translated as ragweed (from the latter's botanical name.) That was easily fixed, and I've changed it accordingly. The Gourmont 1927 quote is trickier. A translation into English would have to be quite free, as what is idiomatic in French in this passage translates very awkwardly into English. You could say something like "Uzanne is interested in everything, but it is in various aspects of art that he is chiefly concerned. He has focused on the art of producing books and the art of the female toilette." But in all honesty I'd be inclined to leave it out. It doesn't really add much to what is now in the quote box. – Tim riley talk 13:32, 21 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Done. Jacobo Vásquez talk 00:19, 22 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

OK. I'll go through the text again and copy-edit. Give me a day or two. Tim riley talk 18:13, 22 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hello. I feel sorry for not reading your message: I've been busy in eswiki. Jacobo Vásquez talk 05:11, 5 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]