Wikipedia:Peer review/Pokémon Channel/archive1

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Pokémon Channel[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to take it to FAC. I haven't had an FA since 2009, and as I've recently returned from semi-retirement and gotten the article to GA status, I think this is a fitting next step. What do you think would come up at an FAC, as the article stands right now?

Thanks, Tezero (talk) 00:30, 12 February 2014 (UTC)

Comments from Nicereddy

  • The references which cite quotes from the game itself should include dates (release date) as well as the publisher (Nintendo). See Cave Story's references for a good example.
    • Done. Tezero (talk) 16:06, 16 February 2014 (UTC)
  • I'm not sure what the policy on this is, but I'd recommend researching and mentioning what languages the game was released in. Probably in the "Development and release" section.
    • I don't know where I'd find that, especially from a reliable source. I don't recall it being official policy or particularly common, either. Tezero (talk) 16:06, 16 February 2014 (UTC)
  • As per WP:INTEGRITY, citing sources in the middle of sentences (which happens throughout the article) is visually unappealing. The citations which occur after semicolons or commas are fine, but I personally think they're most appealing after the ending punctuation of a sentence. Of course, this is only true of shorter sentences as longer sentences with multiple semicolons could end up with a rather large list of references at the end. I'd just use your best judgement, but definitely make sure they're after commas, semicolons, periods, exclamation marks, or question marks.
    • Done. Tezero (talk) 16:12, 16 February 2014 (UTC)
  • Under "Development and release", the following should probably be changed: "The game was first announced at Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) 2003". This is repeated verbatim from the lead section, "E3 2003" should suffice. I would also recommend combining that sentence into one of the following as it flows strangely into later sentences.
    • Done. Tezero (talk) 16:06, 16 February 2014 (UTC)
  • In "Plot" Professor Oak is referred to as "Oak" a number of times. I'd recommend replacing this with "The Professor" or similar as not to be repetitive.
    • Done. Tezero (talk) 16:06, 16 February 2014 (UTC)
  • The article assumes that readers already know about the characters in the Pokemon universe. While this is probably true, it's best to assume they don't. Providing brief descriptions of characters in the Gameplay and Plot sections (e.g. Professor Oak receives no description upon introduction to the article), would likely benefit the understand-ability of the article for the layman. I couldn't find any specific Manual of Style rules on this exact topic, unfortunately. I apologize ahead of time if I'm mistaken about the necessity of describing characters.
    • Done. Tezero (talk) 16:21, 16 February 2014 (UTC)

Hopefully this was helpful, glad to see some nice articles for less popular Nintendo games :D --Nicereddy (talk) 09:19, 16 February 2014 (UTC)

It has been; I wasn't sure the darn thing would ever get reviewed. Tezero (talk) 16:12, 16 February 2014 (UTC)

Question: Do you find the prose awkward and in need of a copyedit? That's come up at numerous FACs of mine in the past, including one that never ended up passing because one copyedit still wasn't enough. I've gotten older and taken both AP English classes in high school since then, but one can never be too safe. Tezero (talk) 16:12, 16 February 2014 (UTC)

I would definitely recommend a copyedit. The article's prose is fine for the most part, but there are some awkward pieces here and there. I can copyedit it a bit myself, but I'd still recommend getting a second opinion on top of my own edits. --Nicereddy (talk) 21:56, 16 February 2014 (UTC)
I've requested one. Feel free to edit it yourself too, though. Tezero (talk) 23:40, 16 February 2014 (UTC)
@Tezero: I've made some edits, mostly in the infobox, and will continue copyediting the article over the next few days when I have time. I just wanted to ask if you had any way of finding the specific peoples involved in developing the game, e.g. designer, programmer, composer, etc? This may be something that comes up in a featured article consideration and I figured it'd be important to mention in the infobox if possible. --Nicereddy (talk) 08:03, 17 February 2014 (UTC)
I've been poking around and haven't found it, not even from an unreliable source. Tezero (talk) 17:57, 17 February 2014 (UTC)

Actually, also: Do you think using GameFAQs for the release dates is going to be problematic? I haven't seen any other sources that include the European or Australian dates. Tezero (talk) 17:57, 17 February 2014 (UTC)

GameFAQs is listed as unreliable by the project: WP:VG/S#Unreliable sources. For European release, PEGI always helped me (see). I checked PALGN, but oddly I found the PAL release on Eurogamer: [1]. I hope it helps. Gabriel Yuji (talk) 01:38, 19 February 2014 (UTC)
I'll use the PEGI site. Thanks! Tezero (talk) 01:54, 19 February 2014 (UTC)