Wikipedia:WikiVampire

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
There is no Cabal
WikiVampires love to feast on the newbies!

A WikiVampire (not to be confused with a WikiZombie) is a wiki user who loves to bite the life out of newcomers. They are extremely hostile in regard to Wikipedia’s policies and guidelines. They do not tolerate horseplay and nonsense even if you only registered 5 minutes ago. They will never take your edits for the sake of good faith even at the expense of offline sources. Encountering one may lead to a feeding frenzy where they suck the energy out of their victims to a point that the fallen individual will never edit again, or worse, transform into a WikiVampire themselves.

Common Victims[edit]

Common victims of WikiVampires include, but are not limited to, WikiPuppies and WikiDodos.

How to identify WikiVampires[edit]

Effects of a WikiVampire's bite. Note the sad face of a newcomer.

They normally disguise themselves as normal Wiki editors. WikiVampires prey on their victims by patrolling newly created articles. Upon spotting a victim, WikiVampires show off their vast knowledge of Wikipedia policies to belittle the victim and crush their soul until they lose the heart to edit Wikipedia; in some cases this has led to the editor leaving editing forever. There have been occasions in which these WikiVampires bite their victims so hard that the victims turn into WikiVampires themselves, scouring Wikipedia for an unsuspecting victim, then sucking the life out of them, and the vicious cycle goes on. Most of the evidence left by the mess they've caused in their feeding activities has already been cleaned up before the light of dawn comes.

A userbox for a WikiVampire to use is:

20pix
I am a..
WikiVampire
and want to drink your blood!

How to kill a WikiVampire[edit]

Dealing with them is quite tricky as some of these WikiVampires are administrators or know people in high places. These individuals are known as their minions which helps the WikiVampires cover up the unfortunate events that took place in Wikipedia. So the best way to destroy one is to keep in mind that WikiVampires are like all vampires in that they cannot stand the rays of the sun or other extreme forms of light. An example is making. Into






That.

Make sure that you carry vast knowledge of the articles you create, and inline citations should be at your disposal at any given time. Explore any loopholes in the system imaginable and rebuff their attacks with referenced prose of enlightenment. Hopefully that will be enough to ward them off. It also helps if you have a wiki-friend. Specifically, look for WikiOtters and WikiGryphons to assist you in battling the cursed creatures. If you are lucky you might influence them to see through this light and change back to their mortal form.

Other methods of killing WikiVampires is to criticise them in where they are going wrong in regard to the policies and guidelines, this leaves off sparkling light surrounding you and can push the WikiVampire back. Finally, you can even shine a giant lightbulb at one.

WikiVampire Slayers[edit]

If by any chance you despise WikiVampires and would like to join the quest in ending their reign of tyranny in Wikipedia, please feel free to join the cause and add any of the userboxes below into your user page:

20pix
I am a..
WikiVampire Slayer!
and vow to end their tyranny!
20pix
I am a..
WikiVampire Slayer!

References[edit]

"...Unfortunately all evidence has been deleted"