Alejo & Valentina

*Alejo & Valentina*
Alejo & Valentina
Genre	Animated sitcom
Created by	Alejandro Szykula
Country of origin	Argentina
Original language	Spanish
No. of seasons	4
Original release
Network	MTV Latin America
Release	2002

Alejo & Valentina is an Argentine flash animated sitcom by Alejandro Szykula of LoCoARTS, created in 2002, aimed at teens and "adults with a childish mind". The animation style is very simplistic and the storylines are filled with nonsense humour, running gags and a random comedy tone. The main protagonists are Alejo and Valentina, characters based on the creator himself and his ex-girlfriend. Other characters include Carlitox (a short guy who resembles the Lemmings video game creatures) and El Viejo (The Old Man).

Episodes

There are currently 16 online episodes, divided into two seasons, plus the episodes that are being aired on TV.

Season 1

1-01 - La vida misma (Life as it is, or Life Itself)
1-02 - Mc King (a pun on McDonald's and Burger King, the well-known fast food franchises)
1-03 - Invasión extraterrestre (Alien Invasion, a parody of classic science fiction films depicting alien invasions)
1-04 - Especial de terror (Horror Special, a parody of a number of horror films including The Exorcist among others)
1-05 - La fiesta (The Party)
1-06 - The Matris (a parody of The Matrix)
1-07 - Sucursal 77 (Office 77, a parody of government bureaucracy in Argentina)
1-08 - Volver al futurox (Back to the Futurex, a parody of Back to the Future)
1-09 - Locura extraordinaria (Extraordinary Madness)
1-10 - Almorzando con Carlitox (Having lunch with Carlitox, mocking the Argentine show Almorzando con Mirtha Legrand)

Season 2

2-11 - La vieja y la piedra (The Crone and the Stone)
Kill Rick (a parody of Kill Bill, the second part of La vieja y la piedra)
2-12 - La Pesadilla de Carlitox (Carlitox' Nightmare mocking "Nightmare on Elm Street")
2-13 - La Isla de lo' mono' (The Island o' Monkey, mocking the Monkey Island series. "Mono" is Spanish for "Monkey").
2-14 - Behind The True Celebrities Stories Uncensored Flash (a pun on E! True Hollywood Story and Celebrities Uncensored, episode about the true behind the show and the lives behind the characters)
2-15 - Darth Baston (Darth Cane, mocking Episodes IV, V and VI of the Star Wars saga)
2-16 - Fundación Guillermo Francella (Guillermo Francella Foundation, a special episode about AIDS)
La Isla de lo' mono 2 (The Island o' Monkey 2, the second part of La Isla de lo' mono, unreleased).

Season 3

3-17 - Alejo y Valentina Regresan de la Luna (Alejo and Valentina come back from the Moon)
Que es esa luz?! (What is that light ?!, the second part of Alejo y Valentina Regresan de la luna)
3-18 - Especial de Pizza Birra y faso (Pizza Birra and faso Special)

Uncoming

3-19 - La historia interminable sin fin (The Neverending Endless Story)
3-20 - Robert Power

TV episodes

First season

1 - Alejo y Valentina contra los muertos vivos (Alejo and Valentina Vs. the Undead)
2 - Volver al futurox EXTENDED (Back to the Futurex EXTENDED)
3 - Kill Rick EXTENDED
4 - Expreso a Pilar (Pilar Express- mocking The Polar Express)
5 - The Matris EXTENDED
6 - Termineitor D.O.S (a parody of the film Terminator and the famous operating system, also "dos" means two in Spanish)
7 - Salgamos afuera (Let's go outside)
8 - Recatate soldado Brian (a parody of the film Saving Private Ryan)
9 - El día de Colorín (Colorin's Day)
10 - Liberen a Carlitox (Free Carlitox)
11 - Darth Baston EXTENDED (Darth Cane EXTENDED)
12 - El día que Alejo conoció a Maradona (The Day Alejo Met Maradona)
13 - El Cumple del Viejo (The Old Man's Birthday)

Second season

14 - Raíces (Roots)
15 - El bar de Gregory (Gregory's café)
16 - La carrera loca (The crazy race - mocking Wacky Races)
17 - Volver al Futurox contra los indios (Back to the Futurex vs. the Indians)
18 - Parquepark
19 - El día que las vacas no vuelan más (The day the cows don't fly anymore)
20 - Pinocho (Pinocchio - a parody of Walt Disney Pictures' film Pinocchio)
21 - El X-Orxixta viteh (The X-Orxist y' see)
22 - El regreso del cometa Halley (The return of Halley's Comet)
23 - Las redes nueivas (The new fishnets - a parody of the film Nine Queens)
24 - Un día re-torcido (A Crazy Day)
25 - Alejo vs. Mario Baracus (Alejo vs. B. A. Baracus)
26 - Viaje al fondo de las casas (Trip to the bottom of the houses)

Third season

27 - Dr. Viejaux (Dr. Oddhoux)
28 - Colorin Colorado
29 - Un safari re cajetilla (An Extra Cool Safari)
30 - Alejo y Valentina contra Los Dinosaurios (Alejo and Valentina vs the Dinosaurs)
31 - Es top model viteh (is top model i'see)
32 - Cantalindo (Singsnice)
33 - Ladry Potter y El Prisionero de Batán (Ladry Potter and the Prisoner of Batan - a parody of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)
34 - ¿Que saltás,loco? (What jump, mad?)
35 - Jo Jo Jo Feliz Navidad (Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas)
36 - Locademia de SuperHeroes (Crazyademy of SuperHeroes)
37 - La Maldición del Topo Chicho (The Curse of Topo Chicho)
38 - Titanix
39 - La Fabrica de CuchoMate (The Factory of CuchoMate)

Fourth season

40 - Ghrek (a parody of the Shrek film series)
41 - La verdad de la Milanga (The truth of the Milanese)
42 - El Efecto Mariposón (The Mariposón Effect)
43 - Eso e' todo verso (That and all-verse)
44 - Alejo presidente del Mundo (Alejo, President of the World)
45 - $3,00 (a parody of the film 300)
46 - Hay que tener Sexo (Keep Sex)
47 - Mission Ma-Jodida (Ma-Fuckin Mission - a parody of the Spy-themed films)
48 - Pesadillas Cajetillas (Nightmares Packets)
49 - Carlitox Big Brother (parody of Big Brother)
50 - Floggerfield (a parody of the film Cloverfield)
51 - Garron Ball Z (a parody of Dragon Ball Z)
52 - V de tu Vieja (V is for You Old - a parody of the film V for Vendetta)
53 - Recuerdos con Punch (Memories with Punch)

Main characters

Alejo

Alejo is a 22-year-old man married to Valentina. His favorite football team is River Plate. He is based on Alejandro Szykula, the series' creator.

Alejo always wears a purple shirt and black pants. He has white skin and short black hair. He is patient and inexpressive, always speaking with the same tone and facial expressions. He thinks that he and Valentina have to have sex with their clothes on, unless they are in the bath. When he grows up he wants to be a Playmobil.

Sometimes, he becomes aggressive and violent. This happens in the episodes Volver al futurox (Back to the Futurex), Locura extraordinaria (Extraordinary Madness) - where he transforms into a beast resembling The Incredible Hulk- and Volver al futurox EXTENDED (Back to the Futurex EXTENDED). Sometimes, this happens when he eats ketchup. He also is capable of vast reality warping powers, being able to alter or reverse past events to create bizarre and surreal situations. He is very skilled with a lightsaber swordfighting, during his trip to a Parallel Universe he met his alter-ego. This version possessed high-level telekinesis.

According to a story El Viejo told in Episode 1, La vida misma (Life as it is, or Life Itself), a stork which was going to deliver the baby Alejo was struck by lightning, causing him to fall into a river and over a waterfall. He ended up on a beach where he met Valentina, also a baby at the time. It is never revealed if this story is true or not as in Episode 15 Darth Baston (Darth Cane) and the TV episode Darth Baston EXTENDED (Darth Cane EXTENDED), El Viejo claims that he is Alejo's father. (parodying the scene where Darth Vader tells Luke Skywalker he is his father).

Catch Phrases:

¿Y si vamos a comer comida? (How about we go to eat food?)
La quiero con mayonesa, sin ketchup y con mostaza. (I want it with mayonnaise, no ketchup and with mustard)
¿Y cómo hay que hacer? (And how is it done?)
¡Que vengan todos los putos, loco! (Literally: Let all 'em fags come at me, man! Although a more accurate translation would be: "bring it on, motherfuckers!")
¿Vos Sos Dios? (Are you God?)
Mira la Vieja. (Look the Crone)
¿Te haces el malo, gil? (Do you do bad, gil?)
¡Recatate, gil, ¿eh?! (Chill you, gil, huh ?!)
¡Che Valentinaaaa! (Hey Valentina!)
Me parece una propuesta differente y buenísima. (I think it's a different and awesome proposal)
Me pica el culo (My ass itches)

Valentina

Valentina is a 22-year-old woman married to Alejo. She is 1.75 meters tall (5'9). Her favorite football team is Boca Juniors. Valentina is based on Alejandro Szykula's ex-girlfriend.

Valentina always wears a pink dress. She has white skin, long, dark hair and is inexpressive, speaking with the same tone no matter what the situation. She is skilled at martial arts and proficient in the use of the katana. She's also incredibly strong. She would like to be a dancer when she is older.

According to a story El Viejo told in Episode 1, La vida misma (Life as it is, or Life Itself), a stork which was meant to deliver the baby Valentina was abducted by aliens, leaving Valentina to fall out of the sky and into a rubbish lorry in Papapipa. As the lorry crosses a bridge, a helicopter crashes, destroying both the lorry and the bridge. Valentina falls into a sewer and is carried to the beach where she meets the baby Alejo. It is never revealed if this story is true or not as in Episode 15 Darth Baston (Darth Cane) and the TV episode Darth Baston EXTENDED (Darth Cane EXTENDED), El Viejo claims that he is Alejo's father.

Catch Phrases:

Yo quiero un sánguche. (I want a sandwich)
Hay que tener sexo. (We gotta have sex)
Me tocaron el culo. (Somebody touched my ass)
¡Alejo!

Carlitox

Carlitox is a short 25-year-old with messy green hair. His favorite football team is Rosario Central. He's about 1.55 meters (5'2) tall. He has the ability to float magically. This is later explained in a parody with the Clown from the movie "It" (based on the book by Stephen King) who tells him "Everybody floats...". During the trip to the Parallel Universe, he discovers his alter-ego, a tall, serious, muscular man with red hair, who is capable of high-level pyrokinesis and producing energy blasts.

He stores several things in his garage, including a UFO, which he later exchanged for a X-Wing ship from Star Wars, martial arts weapons, costumes, a time-travelling DeLorean, a machine that allows his to revisit previous episodes, a helicopter, a battery-compass, as well as numerous objects he has never used (see his catchphrases, below). Due to the lack of space he parks his car outside a TV studio garage.

He always wears a blue tank top and black trousers. Usually, he enters people's houses without permission and introduces himself by saying "Hola, vengo a flotar" (Hello, I've come to float). Carlitox is impatient and hyperactive, and most of the time he is up to something. Whenever he has something new and interesting, he likes to show it off.

Carlitox's father supposedly fought in the Malvinas/Falkland War with El Viejo, and died when he saved El Viejo's life. Carlitox lives with his mother and has a blue haired twin brother.

Catch Phrases:

Houla, vengo a flotar. (Heullo, I've come to float)
Houla, vengo a (...). (Heullo, I've come to (...) )
Houla, vengo a revolear las patas. (Heullo, I've come to swing my legs around)
Houla, vengo a romper las bolas (Heullo, I've come to annoy)
Bueno, chau. (Well, bye)
Mirá, mirá, tengo (...), mirá. (Look, look, I've got (...), look)
¡Jo-joo-jo! (Carlitox's trademark laughter)
Ehm, me parece una muy buena idea, pero... (Ehm, I think it's a very good idea, but...)
¿Qué hacemos? (What are we going to do?)
Tengo un (...) en el garaje, nunca lo use. (I have a (...) in my garage, never used it)
Pisé una banana y me fui a la mierda, y después apareció un payaso y me dijo... no me acuerdo lo que me dijo (I stepped on a banana and got messed up, then a clown appeared and told me... I do not remember what I said)

El Viejo

The charismatic Viejo, often called El Viejo del Bastón (The Old Man With the Cane), is an old man who spends a lot of time with Alejo, Valentina and Carlitox. His favorite football team is Chacarita Juniors.

El Viejo wears a grey robe. He often appears spontaneously, and acts wise even though he is not smart and his advice is useless. He is known for his Paraguayan accent, ending almost every sentence with 'viteh' (y'see), a word derived from 'viste' (you see). He seems to have a crush on an older lady named La Vieja, and often impersonates Hattori Hanzo or Pai Mei from Kill Bill. He also claims to know Victor Sueiro personally.

He is able to teleport. He is skilled in magic. He is in great physical condition, and is as muscular as a bodybuilder.

Catch Phrases:

...,viteh. (...,y'see)
Hola, viteh. (Hi, y'see)
Tengo chaleco, viteh. (I've got (bulletproof) vest, y'see)
Pero, ¡¿vos sos loco, viteh?! (But, are you crazy, y'see?!)
Lo que hagas puede tener repercusiones en eventos futuros, viteh. (Anything you do may affect future events, y'see)
Vamo' a matar a los bichos, viteh. (We're gonna kill all them bugs, y'see)

Gregory

He is 20 years old and wears a blue shirt and darker pants. He is a friend of most of the characters in the series, and is the fall-guy of many pranks from the other characters. He speaks with the Argentinian "Cheto" accent (posh or snobby accent). His power is superhuman speed. He owns a bar and is very shy around women. He likes Pop music and often sings in the episodes. He's a fan of River Plate. His role has increased as the series has progressed as he and Matias became more important in the show; he appeared in every episode of the second season as a main character. He is Matias' best friend, despite Matias' often condescending attitude towards Gregory because of his superficial nature.

Catch Phrases:

Uuuy, que divertido. (Ohhh, how fun)
Me tocaron el culo. (Someone touched my ass)
Uuuy, bueno ya, dale. (Ohhh, OK, let's do it)
Che, pónganle algo de onda. (Hey, be a little more cool)
¡Paren las rotativas! ¡Paren las rotativas! (Stop the presses! Stop the presses!)

Matias

He is the sarcastic and cynical main prankster of the series and often accompanies Gregory. He also dated Gregory's sister, much to his companion's annoyance. He has an anger management problem and often starts shooting indiscriminately with his Uzi submachinegun when angry and uses very rude language towards everyone, often ending up his phrases with "boludo" (dumbass). The word "boludo" is also used a term of endearment in Argentina when speaking with close friends. Before the series Matías try to participate in several films but could not participate in the distribution of many because of its obscene language, such as Inspector Gadget which originally formed part. He wears a red shirt and blue trousers.

Catch Phrases:

Me chupa la pija vo' y (...) boludo! (You and (...) can suck my dick you dumbass!)
Boludo! (dumbass!)
¿Entendé' como e', boludo? (You got that, dumbass?)

Recurring characters

Ricardo: A guy in a gray shirt and blue pants. 1.80 m. He is singer Ricardo Montaner. He wears a mask to hide his face, his skin is pale yellow in color, has red eyes and has curlers in his head. He often acts as the main antagonist of the series (although in some episodes acts as a minor character) and people are not loyal to deal with him. It has a mouse named El Ratón that always tricks him and he has a laugh very similar to Muttley's laugh. He jobs to an unseen villain (possibly Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget).
El Ratón: A mouse who never true to dealings with Ricardo, which calls first and instead of making the agreement runs away with Ricardo's money. Seems to be hyperactive or nervous. His dress is white muscular, blue shorts, and brown shoes.
The Wilkinson Twins (Charles & Mike): Two American twins, both porn actors. They both speak very bad Spanish.
El Negro: A stereotypical tramp, representing Argentina's low classes. He has eight brothers, all from different fathers. He is always begging for pennies for the bus, despite the fact that he owns a Ferrari Testarossa.
Carlos el pibe del noticiero: A reporter who appears in most episodes, reporting tragedies or strange occurrences such as alien invasions and massacres in a calm and uncaring way as if they were everyday occurrences.
El Chino del restaurante: a man with a Chinese accent who works in a Chinese food restaurant. He is constantly annoyed by Alejo's random phone calls to place ambiguous orders.
El Pato Bonavides The owner of the "Super TV channel". He appears offering the main characters parts in his TV shows, often giving them contracts to sign. He constantly tries to scam whomever he hires to work on his TV shows.
El Pelado: Or El Pelado Del Samba and El Pelado De La Calesita, varies according to his job. He is a bald man with bad luck. Whenever he operates a ride at Parque Park, something knocks him out or injures him, causing the ride he operates to go out of control and kills the people riding it and people nearby. Those accidents clearly make reference to the ones happened in the former Ital Park of Buenos Aires, that forced that classic park of the 1990s to stop operating due to the death of one girl after something apparently failed in the "Matterhorn".
El pajarito: Is a blue talking bird who appears in the opening of all the episodes. He lives with his wife Negra and his sons and daughter Palito, Bombon and Helado in the tree in front of Alejo's house.
El Gobernator: Actually Arnold Schwarzenegger. In the show he is portrayed in his role as The Terminator, but he is at the same time the governor of the Provincia de Buenos Aires. He is often charged with protecting a member of the gang from different threats, such as Aliens and Robert Patrick. In every episode he is featured, a skeptical, innocent bystander asks what he is doing in Argentina if he is the governor of California; Schwarzenegger will immediately reply by shooting them and telling them to shut up.

Minor characters

Cara de Cocou: a metafictional character that often appears in "Cara de Cocou & Pirín", a show-within-a-show.
Pirín: Cara de Cocou's friend in "Cara de Cocou & Pirín".
Urna: Cara de Cocou's girlfriend in "Cara de Cocou & Pirín".
Cacho: A friend of Alejo and Valentina. He is an impatient salesman. He never seems to lose his cool ("How many zombies can there be...one, two, three zombies...we kill them all, man").
Satan: He is portrayed as a stereotypical nerd, but when angry he will generate a huge cloud of smoke around himself and turn into a huge red demon. Gregory accidentally kills him in the Halloween episode when he and Matias are sent to hell.
El Paraguayo Alternatonto: Appears in the episode "Expreso a Pilar" and in the episode "Behind the Flash" saying "¡Qué drogadicto que sos!" (You're such a junkie!)" .
Kabronero: a parody of one of Alejandro Szykula's friends.
Dumloco: a parody of one of the creator's friends.
Colorín: an alien that speaks through his stomach. His pronunciation is impossible to understand. He is able to warp reality to some extent.
Doctor Socolinski: Alejo and Valentina's doctor, based on a TV celebrity by the same name.
Peronemlins (also Menemlins and Alfonsinemlins): They are Gremlins with famous Argentinian politicians heads: Juan Domingo Perón, Carlos Menem and Raúl Alfonsín.
Panchita: A girl with blue hair who acts as a recurring love interest to Gregory.
El Reverendo Hijo De Puta: A reverend whose name is a pun on the Argentine insult "reverendo hijo de puta" (roughly translated to "freaking son of a bitch" in English). He lives in the church near Alejo's house and constantly asks God to do him favors that he'll "pay back to him...some day...OK, never".
Rafutín: A creature that appears in several episodes as an extra but never has had a major role.
Sebastián: Appears in the episode Recatate Soldado Brian.
Andrés: Appears in the episode Recatate Soldado Brian as Sebastián's lost brother.
Rogelio: A friend of el Negro, his catchphrase is saying the word "re-cajetilla" ("extra cool") for example: "re-cajetilla este (...) loco!"

External links