Attack of the 5 Ft. 2 In. Women
|National Lampoon's Attack of the 5 Ft. 2 In. Women|
|Written by||Julie Brown
|Directed by||Julie Brown
Eric "Sparky" Edwards
John Robert Hoffman
|Theme music composer||Christopher Tyng|
|Country of origin||United States|
|Running time||82 min.|
|Original release||August 21, 1994|
National Lampoon's Attack of the 5 Ft. 2 In. Women is a 1994 Showtime television film that parodies two sensational news stories from the 1990s: The Tonya Harding-Nancy Kerrigan incident, and the John and Lorena Bobbitt incident. The movie is presented as a double feature, with Julie Brown starring in both segments. The title is a takeoff of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.
The movie is presented as two parts of a double feature, the titles being Tonya: The Battle of Wounded Knee and He Never Gave Me Orgasm: The Lenora Babbitt Story.
Tonya: The Battle of Wounded Knee
Figure skater Tonya Hardly (Brown), desperate to win the gold medal in the Olympics, tries to eliminate competitor Nancy Cardigan (Khrystyne Haje) by hiring someone to injure her; although she only suffers a small bruise. The news story is so tragic and heart-wrenching that all of Tonya's co-conspirators turn themselves in and finger her. Sailing above the scandal, she goes on to compete at the 1994 Winter Olympics, but is undone by her lack of talent and undersized panties.
He Never Gave Me Orgasm: The Lenora Babbitt Story
Lenora Babbitt (Brown), having been recently pardoned for her crimes, tells Dick Langley (Sam McMurray) about the events that had led up to her arrest: She had cut off the penis of her drunken husband, Juan Wayne Babbitt (Adam Storke), because he couldn't satisfy her sexually. After it was devoured by a dog, Dr. Kelloc (Stanley DeSantis) was able to transplant one from a deceased biker. However, Lenora learns that the biker's widow (Anne DeSalvo) now has "visitation rights" to it; thus, when she and Juan perform a re-enactment of the incident on TV, she actually cuts off his new one. He ends up becoming a transsexual, saying on talk shows that he now understands how hard it is to be a woman.
The movie includes animated sequences in which Tonya and Lenora are watching the picture at a drive-in theater. They arrive together in a car at the beginning, Tonya cheers after the first feature, and the two grinning women drive off at the end.
- This TV-movie was promoted on the cover of the September/October 1994 issue of National Lampoon magazine.
- In 2008, Julie Brown was given permission by Showtime to issue this movie on DVD (Showtime had previously only issued it on VHS) and currently sells copies on her eBay and website stores.