The Beasts of Suburban

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The Beasts of Suburban
Released 20 July 1992
Recorded Atlantis Studios March-April 1992
Genre Alternative rock
Length 31:43 (original release)
49:06 (1997 rerelease)
Label Shock Records
Producer Tony Cohen
TISM chronology
Gentlemen, Start Your Egos
(1991)Gentlemen, Start Your Egos1991
The Beasts of Suburban
Australia The Lucky Cunt
(1993)Australia The Lucky Cunt1993

The Beasts of Suburban is a 1992 EP by anonymous Australian band TISM. The title is pun on the name of another Australian band, Beasts of Bourbon. TISM's producer for this album, Tony Cohen, previously worked with that group. At the ARIA Music Awards of 1993, he was nominated for Producer of the Year for the track, "Get Thee to a Nunnery".[1] This is the first TISM release to feature Tokin' Blackman (then known as Tony Coitus) on guitar, having replaced Leek Van Vlalen. The track, "Morningtown Ride", was listed as one of the 10 Greatest Songs About Melbourne by ToneDeaf's Corey Tonkin.[2]

Track listing[edit]

On the cassette version of the EP, the same program is repeated on both sides of the tape.

No. Title Length
1. "Michael Jackson's Conveyor Belt" 3:04
2. "Bishop = Handjob" 2:25
3. "Get Thee to a Nunnery" 2:41
4. "Father and Son" 2:29
5. "Lillee Caught Dilley Bowled Milli Vanilli" 2:41
6. "If You're Ugly, Forget It" 3:41
7. "Morningtown Ride" (Followed by a short interview between a child and Tony Cohen, before a TISM member calling Shock Records with the credits and 5 minutes of silence) 10:51
8. "Loser, Losing, Lost" (The song was mastered to a very low volume. To listen to it, turn up your volume or normalise it in a sound editing program. It is also unlisted.) 3:55

The silence on "Morningtown Ride" was reduced to one minute in the Collected Recordings version. On the re-release with the Australia the Lucky Cunt EP, the silence was moved to the end of "Recorded by JJJ, 23/01/93, Melbourne Showgrounds" with "Loser, Losing, Lost" merged to the track, giving it a total length of 11:53.

"Bishop = Handjob" actually dates back to the Hot Dogma era, where it was written in 1988, alongside many other songs from that album, as "You Think I'm a Shining Wit, but Really I'm a Whining Shit".


Feminist groups in Australia criticised TISM as sexist for their use of Sophie Lee in "Get Thee to a Nunnery". The song allegedly protests the use of sex to sell a product via Lee's appointment as a presenter on Australia's Channel 9 Looney Tunes cartoon show, which is infamous for her often highly suggestive wardrobe: "Urban myth has it that middle-aged men used to rush home from work in time to watch Sophie throw to Bugs Bunny cartoons." Lee described it as "a boring song by a boring bunch of bourgeois boys." [3]


  1. ^ "17th Annual ARIA Awards". Australian Recording Industry Association (ARIA). Archived from the original on 23 February 2004. Retrieved 6 June 2015.  Note: User may be required to access archived information by selecting 'The History', then 'By Award', 'Producer of the Year' and 'Option Show Nominations'.
  2. ^ Tonkin, Corey (22 August 2014). "The 10 Greatest Songs About Melbourne". ToneDeaf. Archived from the original on 22 July 2015. Retrieved 31 July 2016. 
  3. ^ Karen Fletcher. "… and ain't i a woman?: No to a nunnery". Green Left Weekly. Archived from the original on 2 February 2009.