Bjørge Lillelien (29 March 1927 – 26 October 1987) was a Norwegian sports journalist and commentator for the Norwegian Broadcasting Corporation. He was considered to be a popular and engaging personality who commentated on many sports, particularly winter sports and football. It was not unusual for Norwegians to turn off the sound on the TV and listen to him on the radio instead.
Lillelien went to Northwestern University to study journalism in 1948. After going back to Norway for his military service, he got a job in the newspaper Fremtiden. But it didn't take long before he was working for the Norwegian broadcasting network.
In 1963 he began a long-term working relationship with Håkon Brusveen at a cross country ski race at Holmenkollen. The olympic champion from the 1960 Olympics would be standing somewhere by the ski track and give his view on the competitors' performance as they passed. This collaboration would last for the rest of Lillelien's working days. Brusveen continued to work for NRK after Lillelien's death.
Although privately Lillelien was quite reserved and reflective, he developed a gregarious on-screen persona. He always believed "We shouldn't necessarily make a boring radio programme even if it is a boring football match. We should make a sports show that excites people".
He continued to work in broadcasting until just before his death from cancer in 1987.
“Your boys took a hell of a beating”
Most famously he commentated on Norway's 2–1 victory against England in a World Cup UEFA qualifier in Oslo on 9 September 1981. At the end of the match, alternating between the English and Norwegian language, he exultantly proclaimed over televised scenes of jubilant Norway supporters and players in the football stadium:
"We are best in the world! We have beaten England! England, birthplace of giants",
before taunting a roll call of English warriors, statesmen, a boxer and a royal princess, usually quoted in an edited, English-only form as follows:
- "Lord Nelson, Lord Beaverbrook, Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Anthony Eden, Clement Attlee, Henry Cooper, Lady Diana, vi har slått dem alle sammen, vi har slått dem alle sammen! (we have beaten them all, we have beaten them all!). Maggie Thatcher, can you hear me? Maggie Thatcher ... your boys took a hell of a beating! Your boys took a hell of a beating!"
Although the broadcast was initially meant solely for the Norwegian home audience its content soon made its way across the North Sea and became legendary in the history of sports commentary in England.
Full Norwegian/English version
The full Norwegian/English version reads as follows:
- "Vi er best i verden! Vi er best i verden! Vi har slått England 2-1 i fotball!! Det er aldeles utrolig! Vi har slått England! England, kjempers fødeland. Lord Nelson, Lord Beaverbrook, Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Anthony Eden, Clement Attlee, Henry Cooper, Lady Diana--vi har slått dem alle sammen. Vi har slått dem alle sammen.
- "Maggie Thatcher can you hear me? Maggie Thatcher, jeg har et budskap til deg midt under valgkampen. Jeg har et budskap til deg: Vi har slått England ut av Verdensmesterskapet i fotball. Maggie Thatcher, som de sier på ditt sprog i boksebarene rundt Madison Square Garden i New York: Your boys took a hell of a beating! Your boys took a hell of a beating!"
The full version, completely translated to English:
- "We are the best in the world! We are the best in the world! We have beaten England 2-1 in football!! It is completely unbelievable! We have beaten England! England, birthplace of giants. Lord Nelson, Lord Beaverbrook, Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Anthony Eden, Clement Attlee, Henry Cooper, Lady Diana--we have beaten them all. We have beaten them all.
- "Maggie Thatcher can you hear me? Maggie Thatcher, I have a message for you in the middle of the election campaign.[a] I have a message for you: We have knocked England out of the football World Cup.[b] Maggie Thatcher, as they say in your language in the boxing bars around Madison Square Garden in New York: Your boys took a hell of a beating! Your boys took a hell of a beating!"
Parodies and homages
In 2002 Lillelien's words were designated the greatest piece of sports commentary ever by The Observer's Sport Monthly magazine. Such is its place in British sporting culture that parodies of the commentary have been written to celebrate domestic sporting victories, such as the following when the England cricket team beat Australia to regain the Ashes in September 2005:
- "Kylie Minogue! Steve Irwin! Holly Valance! Crocodile Dundee! Natalie Imbruglia! Ian Thorpe! Mrs. Mangel! Can you hear me? Your boys took one hell of a beating!"
- "Dame Kiri te Kanawa, Peter Jackson, Neil Finn, Sir Edmund Hillary, Jonah Lomu - we have beaten them all! Helen Clark, can you hear me? Your boys took one hell of a beating!"
- "King Olaf, Roald Amundsen, Liv Ullmann, Edvard Munch, Vidkun Quisling, Thor Heyerdahl, Henrik Ibsen, Edvard Grieg, Monty Python's Norwegian Blue, Morten Harket, and Anni-Frid from ABBA. You boys took a helluva beating!"
The Deputy Editor of the Daily Record at the time, Murray Foote, since issued an apology for the inclusion of Vidkun Quisling in the quotation:
- "While I naturally assumed Quisling was not one of Norway's favourite sons, I was truly unaware of the deep loathing his name engenders amongst your countrymen.
- Had I been aware of this, I would not have used his name and I apologise unreservedly for the offence it caused."
In advance of the Scotland v Norway game at Hampden on 10 October 2008, a parody was created by Tennent Caledonian Breweries (sponsor of the Scottish National Team) for radio and subsequently animated and posted on YouTube.
Following Manchester University winning University Challenge against the University of Cambridge Pembroke College in March 2012, a commentator for the Manchester student newspaper observed "We have beaten Pembroke College, Cambridge! Cambridge, birthplace of giants. Rab Butler, Clive James, Ted Hughes, William Pitt the Younger, Eric Idle, Peter Cook, Bill Oddie! Bill Oddie, can you hear me? Your boys took a hell of a beating!"
The speech is also parodied in the 2001 British drama film Mean Machine, starring Vinnie Jones. In the film, at the conclusion of the match between the guards and the prisoners at the fictional Longmarsh prison, in a 3-2 win for the prisoners, the commentators, Bob Likely (Jason Flemyng) and Bob Carter (Jake Abraham) quoted "Guards of Pentonville, Guards of Wandsworth, Walton nick in Liverpool, Policemen of Britain, Traffic Wardens, Parole officers, Wheel clampers, your boys have taken a helluva beating today, a helluva beating!" 
- Huang Jianxiang, Chinese football commentator with a similarly memorable match commentary
- Guðmundur Benediktsson, Icelandic football commentator, also with a similarly memorable match commentary
- The election campaign was the Norwegian parliamentary election of 1981, which was held on 13 and 14 September of that year.
- In fact England went on to qualify for the finals, while Norway were eliminated, eventually finishing bottom of the qualification group.
- Aftenposten 22 June -85
- Aftenposten 16 March 1985
- "Bjørge Lilleliens seierstale (tr: Bjørge Lillelien's victory speech)" (in Norwegian). YouTube. Retrieved 13 Oct 2015.
- "Tennent's Scotland v Norway - www.tennents.com". YouTube. Retrieved 13 Oct 2015.
- "Archived copy". Archived from the original on 2012-03-21. Retrieved 2012-03-20.
- "Mean Machine (9/9) Movie CLIP - The Game Winner (2001) HD". Retrieved 2017-07-11.
- Saken er klar! (1985)
- VM-boka. Mexico, Maradona og andre høydepunkter. (1986, with Tor Røste Fossen.)
- Original recording on NRK website
- Observer - The 10 greatest bits of commentary ever
- Tribute (in Norwegian) on NRK website
- Newspaper commentary on the Daily Record article and the inclusion of Quisling (in Norwegian)
- Article describing official apology from Daily Record (in Norwegian, with full apology in English)