List of 8-Bit Theater characters
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The events in the webcomic 8-Bit Theater center on four major characters — the Light Warriors — and a number of minor ones. Many of the characters are based on characters, enemies, and classes from the original Final Fantasy as well as Dungeons and Dragons, but are highly satirized and parodied, most of them being comically foolish and inept.
- 1 The Light Warriors
- 2 Other main characters
- 3 Major enemies
- 3.1 The Dark Warriors
- 3.2 The Cultists
- 3.3 The 4 Fiends
- 3.4 King Astos of the Dark Elves
- 3.5 The Ordeals
- 4 Other characters
- 5 References
The Light Warriors
Collectively known as the Warriors of Light (or simply "the Light Warriors"), Black Mage, Fighter, Thief and Red Mage are the main characters of 8-Bit Theater. Their names and appearances are based on four classes from the first Final Fantasy game. Despite composing the "classic" heroic party, they are, for the most part, incompetent, dysfunctional, have few redeeming traits and tend to do more harm than good. As the author, Brian Clevinger, stated "I'm not sure why the Light Warriors worry about obstacles or monsters standing in their way. They are nothing compared to the obstacles and monsters within the party."
Black Mage is an evil wizard and a nexus of magical power in human form. He delights in being evil to the point where even his conscience is split not between his good and evil side, but between his evil and his atrociously evil side, and has a "kill list" that includes only two entries: "Everyone I know" and "Everyone I don't know". Black Mage is frequently shown to be overweight and carry poor social and hygiene habits. Being physically weak, Black Mage usually relies on an array of destructive magic spells, most prominently a beam of destructive energy he calls the Hadoken, which he wants to use often but can only cast once a day. He gained the spell by sacrificing nine orphan children to his dark gods, and reveals to Red Mage that it is powered by siphoning off love from the universe, literally turning other people's happiness into focused destruction; he's not sure of the exact amount, but is given to under stand that the divorce rate goes up with each use.
Black Mage keeps his face hidden; according to him, it is so "contrary to Euclidean geometry" that no one can look at it without going mad, demonstrated by driving a young boy (Later revealed to be Sarda) insane.
First Appearance: Episode 001: We're going where?
Sprite: Warrior (Final Fantasy I, NES); Class Change: Knight (Final Fantasy III, Famicom)
Fighter is a warrior specializing in swords and master of a style called Zodiac Kenshido, capable of wielding more than two swords at once and, after his class change, blocking anything with his swords. Fighter is extremely resilient towards physical damage in general and easily recovers even from lethal injuries (most often demonstrated with Black Mage's tendency to repeatedly stab him when he gets fed up with his idiocy). Fighter is the inventor of sword-chucks, a weapon that combines swords and nunchaku by linking two swords with a chain that is often referred to as more dangerous to the wielder than to enemies.
Skilled as he is, he is also extremely naïve, childlike and has an almost single-minded sword fixation. Fighter firmly believes the Light Warriors to be archetypes of heroes that do good deeds wherever they go and remains oblivious towards their often cowardly and villainous actions. His innocence endears him to many characters that dislike the other Light Warriors, such as White Mage and Sarda, and despite his ordinarily ignorant disposition he occasionally shows surprising bursts of intelligence. Fighter is later revealed by his patron deity, Dr. Swordopolis, to be the Enlightened Warrior destined to save the world from destruction, except said event comes to pass without him.
First Appearance: Episode 004: Fight heroes, fight!
Sprite: Thief (Final Fantasy I, NES); Class Change: Ninja (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Thief is a sneaky, greedy and cunning Elf and the Prince of Elfland. His main assets are his skills at thievery and his wits; Thief claims to be able to steal anything that isn't both nailed down and on fire, including intangible objects such as souls, secrets, and things that aren't there. In addition, he manipulates people with legal contracts and, in fact, became the Light Warriors' contractual leader by talking Fighter into signing such a contract. Before his class change, Thief rarely engaged in physical combat, preferring to hide and let the others do the work. After becoming a Ninja he gained the ability to throw any object, including his teammates (and somehow himself) and tends to use kicks and punches in combat.
Thief originally tried to conceal his Elven heritage from the Light Warriors, but was forced to reveal his true identity when an Elven court threatened the group with execution. It was subsequently revealed that Thief originally left his kingdom in secret in order to raise money for a cure for his dying father, though having no actual moral qualms about stealing he continued stealing even after his father was cured. Thief, like all Elves, is incredibly arrogant and considers all non-Elven races, particularly Dwarves, to be below him. He regards the other Light Warriors as little more than his lackeys (and at times fair game).
First Appearance: Episode 034: Introductions Are In Order
Sprite: Red Mage (Final Fantasy I, NES); Class Change: Red Wizard (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Red Mage claims to be the last surviving member of an ancient order of Red Mages and as such is the most knowledgeable and versatile, yet also the most delusional, of the Light Warriors. He firmly believes the world runs according to the rules of tabletop role-playing games (such as Dungeons & Dragons) and actively tries to use knowledge of these rules to his own advantage. While this enables him to fight as well as use both White and Black Magic, he often bends the rules to absurd degrees and has, for example survived normally lethal injuries by "forgetting" to write down the damage he suffered. After his class change Red Mage gained the ability to mimic his teammates' actions.
Red Mage is the main "strategist" of the group. His plans, however, are usually overly complicated and bizarre. While in accordance with logic on a certain level, his plans frequently include obvious flaws, such as a plan to construct a "cold fission" reactor entirely from ice. Most of the time Red Mage's plans fail horribly as the laws of physics get in the way, but his stratagems have proven surprisingly successful a number of times, most notably in the Light Warriors' battles against the first three Fiends. Either way, Red Mage tends to be overconfident about his plans and believes them to be foolproof.
Other main characters
White Mage is a priestess who specializes in healing magic and who is on a mission to restore order to the world "after a great evil has swept across its surface." She was originally a candidate to be one of the Light Warriors, but was rejected by the group in favor of Red Mage. Afterwards she still followed them on their journey for most of the comic's history. There is ongoing tension with Black Mage's lustful attraction to her, usually resulting in White Mage hitting him with her hammer, although she regularly heals his wounds out of sheer devotion to her position.
White Mage often questions her purpose in the world and fate itself for choosing a group of people to be Light Warriors who spread destruction wherever they go. She often blames herself for the results of the Light Warriors' actions. However, in the end she manages to fulfill her mission and destroy Chaos himself. As a result of a time travel accident, White Mage is also the creator of the universe.
Black Belt is an extremely skilled martial artist with an all but non-existent sense of orientation and the ability of defying the laws of physics simply by misunderstanding them, which rendered him capable of Munchausenesque feats such as walking across a pit on a rope that, unknown to him, had been untied at both ends. Early in the comic, Black Belt shows up as White Mage's loyal bodyguard, but he is later killed in the Light Warriors' battle with Kary, the Fiend of Fire.
Black Belt's teachers (who resemble Ken and Ryu from the Street Fighter video game series) identify the fighting style they and Black Belt use as Wu Xia. Black Belt himself described the prevailing theory of his school as the credo that an opponent who is too broken to move is an opponent who is defeated.
Sarda the Sage / Chaos
First Appearance: Episode 041: It Just Got Weird in Survivor 8-bit Style Part 6 (as a child) / Episode 300: The House Always Wins (as Sarda) / Episode 1180: The Next Stage (as Chaos)
Sprite: Doga (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified (adult) / Onion Kid (Final Fantasy III, Famicom) (child) / Fomortiis (Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones) (Chaos)
Sarda, the self-proclaimed Wizard Who Did It (in reference to the common cop out "a wizard did it" as an explanation for inconsistency and plot errors), is an evidently omnipotent wizard who is able to effortlessly manipulate reality itself and will readily do so out of sheer boredom. For example, the world of 8-Bit Theater used to have 36-hour days, but Sarda reduced them to 24 simply to make everyone hurry up. He never stops to think about the consequences of his actions, citing that he wouldn't be the Wizard Who Did It if he did.
Sarda plays a much more vital role in the comic than in Final Fantasy, where a character named Sarda only serves to let the player explore one dungeon. In the comic Sarda drives the Light Warriors to recover the four Orbs, often by force and at no time concerned with the Light Warriors' chances of survival. He repeatedly sends them on suicidal missions providing them with wholly inadequate supplies, most prominently the ever-same shaky vessel of transportation, the "deathtrap." For obvious reasons, the Light Warriors harbor a strong dislike for Sarda, but choose not to argue with him for fear he will "unmake [them] before [they] were born".
Towards the end of the comic, Sarda is revealed to be a time traveller who plans to kill the Light Warriors, whose actions during the entire story led directly to his first exposure to black magic as a young child and the death of his biological family as well as several foster families. However, after absorbing the magical energy of the four elemental orbs as well as Black Mage's concentrated evil energy, he loses control and his body is possessed by Chaos, the evil Demon King that the Light Warriors are questing to defeat the entire comic. Chaos himself is eventually defeated in a deliberate anticlimax by four White Mages, a twist that was described by Brian Clevinger as "probably the longest ranged call back attempted by a webcomic."
The Dark Warriors
The Dark Warriors are major enemies the Light Warriors have defeated separately in the past who teamed up to take revenge. With the exception of Drizz'l, they are based on antagonists from the game; Drizz'l is the son of Astos, who is based on a game character.
Garland is the first major enemy faced by the Light Warriors and a former military leader of Corneria. Despite his best attempts to become an evil villain, he is a nice and caring person who enjoys cooking and treats the Light Warriors more like guests rather than prisoners during their imprisonment in his castle. After his first failed encounter with the Light Warriors, he forms the Dark Warriors and begins a propaganda campaign against the Light Warriors.
Bikke the Pirate
First Appearance: Episode 208: Look Who's Back
Sprite: Thief (Final Fantasy I, NES), modified
Bikke is an incompetent and dim-witted pirate captain and the second member of the Dark Warriors. He is known for his intense body odor and his tendency to speak in a clichéd pirate accent. Bikke managed to let his entire crew almost die from scurvy after feeding them nothing but Cheetos, which led directly to his defeat. Although he is a pirate captain, he cannot swim and, despite having two perfectly normal, functional hands, desires to be called "The Claw". He is completely illiterate and unable to comprehend simple arithmetic.
Prince Drizz'l of the Dark Elves
Drizz'l, a Dark Elf and the son of King Astos, is the third member of the Dark Warriors. His name, a parody of the name of Drizzt Do'Urden, roughly translates from Elven into "The Relentless Scourge." Drizz'l is a sword master equal to Fighter and controlled a pack of giant spiders before he was defeated by the Light Warriors in Marsh Cave. Drizz'l considers himself the most intelligent of the Dark Warriors, although his inherent Elven arrogance often gets the better of him.
Vilbert von Vampire
First Appearance: Episode 366: Evil Has a Name
Sprite: Scholar (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
First Appearance: Episode 523: The Doom That Came to Ice Cave
Sprite: Black Wizard (Final Fantasy, NES; modified)
The Cultists are a doom cult whose true name "cannot be said or written without driving you mad." and who the Light Warriors have encountered and defeated twice. They dwell in extremely remote areas and worship ancient beings that are reminiscent of the ones found in H. P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos. The Cultists induce new members by beheading them and implanting the larva of an "Old One" in the body, where it matures, giving the Cultists the appearance of a humanoid being with long tentacles in the lower half of their faces; their look and method of reproduction makes the Cultists resemble illithids or Mind Flayers, fictional monsters from the roleplaying game Dungeons & Dragons. The Cultists take pleasure in disturbing paraphilia (especially those that carry taboos). All of the Cultists have names that are pronounced similarly to female names, such as L'zlhe (Leslie), Lv'rn (Laverne), or Suh'zahne (Suzanne).
Among the ancient entities the cultists worship is Ur, the Fiend of Water. After the Light Warriors defeated them, they accidentally used the cultists' ancient "end of the world formula" and summoned Ur by invoking his true name, Jnn'efur (Jennifer).
The 4 Fiends
The Fiends are evil elemental beings, far stronger than regular monsters. They guard the orbs the four elements are tied to. After their defeats, all the Fiends entered Hell one by one and gathered there until they were eventually summoned back, only to be killed shortly afterwards.
In the Final Fantasy video game, the Fiends served as major bosses. They consisted of Lich (Earth), Kary/Marilith (Fire), Kraken (Water) and Tiamat (Air/Wind), and each of them also had to be defeated twice, once during the normal course of the game and once in the game's final area.
Lich, Fiend of Earth
First Appearance: Episode 380: Introducing...
Sprite: Black Wizard (Final Fantasy, NES; modified)
Lich is an undead, immortal wizard and self-proclaimed "Master Bonecraftsman" who believes all things live to die and that the dead exist to serve him. He confronts the Light Warriors after they defeated his son Vilbert and kills Black Mage. During the battle, the Light Warriors discover Lich has stored his soul in the Earth Orb, rendering him immortal. He is eventually defeated when Thief "steals" his soul out of the Earth Orb and Black Mage, who emerges as the new ruler of Hell, banishes Lich to the underworld, where he promptly ousts Black Mage from his position and takes his place as the ruler of Hell. Lich's departing words were "Death is but a door, time is but a window; I'll be back", a direct quote from Ghostbusters II.
Kary, Fiend of Fire
First Appearance: Episode 466: Trigger Happy
Kary appears as a woman with six arms and the lower body of a snake. She guards the Orb of Fire and is extremely hot-headed, demonstrated by her killing all her minions with little, if any, provocation. During her battle with the Light Warriors, she kills Black Belt, but is defeated when the Light Warriors manage to stuff her into a bag of holding and cast Ice-9, an enormously powerful Ice spell that causes all thermodynamic activity in the universe to cease (and a reference to the Kurt Vonnegut novel Cat's Cradle) into the bag.
Ur, Fiend of Water
Ur, the Fiend of Water, is an ancient entity worshiped by the Cultists that Fighter accidentally summons by invoking his true name, Jnn'efur. Initially it appears as a large chaotic mass of sticky tentacles that engulfs Red Mage just before he can reveal the Fiend's weakness. However, Ur is defeated rather anticlimactically when, just before he can bring about the apocalypse, Red Mage cuts his way out of him with a sword.
Muffin, Fiend of Air
Muffin, the owner of both the flying Sky Castle and the Orb of Air, is a dragon who Dragoon considers his "pet parrot", having never seen a parrot or a dragon before, and believing her lie about her species. Muffin had established the order of Dragon Knights ten thousand years ago in order to kill the other dragons, allowing her to take their powers, treasure, and knowledge. Afterward, she slaughtered the dragoons so they would not learn of her plot. When the Light Warriors attack Muffin's Sky Castle, Dragoon kills her with a spear through the head.
Muffin is the comic's version of Tiamat, the Fiend of Wind from Final Fantasy. She is never directly referred to as Tiamat, but Dragoon indicates that Muffin may not be her real name.
King Astos of the Dark Elves
Astos, originally a boss in the first Final Fantasy game, is the father of Drizz'l. He planned to drive Elfland into a civil war by overthrowing the currently ruling Elven clan, using the alias "Chancellor Usurper of Clan Sahn'ta" to get close to the king and Prince Elf (Thief). He had the king poisoned and put into a coma to this end.
In a stroke of luck, Thief and the Light Warriors overheard Astos dictating his plot to himself. The next day, the Light Warriors confronted Astos. They never got around to an epic battle, however, as Astos was killed by a bad pun from Black Mage. He turned out to carry both Matoya's Crystal Eye and the formula for an antidote for King Elf.
First Appearance: Episode 608: Teleporting never screws anyone
Sprite: Kraken (Final Fantasy III, NES; Greed), Dracocotta (Final Fantasy III, NES; Sloth), Black Mage (Final Fantasy, NES; Atrocity), Spirit Naga/Grey Naga (Final Fantasy, NES; Pride), Lunasaur/Lunasaurus (Final Fantasy IV, SNES; Zombie Dragon)
In the Castle of Ordeals, each of the Light Warriors had to deal with a manifestation of the worst flaw in their personality, three of them being one of the seven deadly sins. While Fighter had to contend his Sloth, Red Mage his Pride, and Thief his Greed (although being teleported forced Black Mage to face it instead), Black Mage encountered a doppelgänger, as the only thing that could represent his evil was himself. The final Ordeal was a giant Zombie Dragon, to which Red Mage comments that "a giant Zombie Dragon has little relation to facing one's own inner struggles". As in Final Fantasy, defeating it earned the Light Warriors a Rat's Tail, which they exchanged for a class change.
First Appearance: Episode 052: Meanwhile...
Sprites: Aria (modified) and Princess Sarah (both Final Fantasy III, Famicom)
The daughter of King Steve and Queen Jane and the heir to the Cornerian throne, Princess Sara, had already been kidnapped about six times by the time Garland got to her. Her rescue is the first mission that King Steve gives to the Light Warriors. Although she appears to be a respectable princess, Sara hides a calculating and bloodthirsty nature and uses her time as Garland's "prisoner" to coach him into becoming a proper villain. After her "rescue", she resumes life in Corneria, later turns down an offer to join the Dark Warriors, declaring them hopeless, usurps the rulership of the Kingdom from her clueless father and runs the kingdom without his knowledge.
First Appearance: Episode 058: Government At Work
Sprite: Prince Alus (Final Fantasy III, NES; modified)
King Steve is the father of Princess Sara and the completely innefectual and delusional ruler of Corneria. He recruits the Light Warriors to rescue his daughter, Sara, from Garland. Steve initially sends hundreds of "light warriors" on his errand, surmising that the chosen ones, being destined to save the world, would prevail and those who were not the chosen ones would die off; he was oblivious to the many deaths this would cause, and once informed was still dismissive of this fact. Steve is a capricious and entirely delusional despot with only a tenuous grip on reality who, among other things, has devastated his country in an attempt to drill for mana (a reference to FFVII's mining for lifestream), believes to have invented inventing, believed he was running for election against a length of string (ignoring the fact that Corneria is a monarchy), made a coffee stain ("Rodney") his right-hand man, and wears shoes made from baby skin. Following the conclusion of the Sara kidnapping arc, Steve has not been involved in the main story, but he continues to make frequent appearances in the comic, his adventures often serving as a sideline to the main story.
Dr. Swordopolis is the very incarnation of all things sword. He appears to Fighter in visions, taking the form of a bespectacled sword and bringing cryptic and often-ignored advice. His secret agenda throughout the comic is to bring Fighter to kill Black Mage in order to prevent the latter becoming a portal for Chaos to enter the world, a plan the naive Fighter never quite catches on to.
First Appearance: Episode 172: The Inhabitant of the Cave
Sprite: White Magic Seller (Final Fantasy, NES; recolored)
Matoya is a blind witch who sends the Light Warriors on a side-quest to regain her magic eye after feeding them poisoned nightmare-inducing cookies, promising them an antidote if they return with it. Due to her poor hearing, she also grants Fighter the Armoire of Invincibility, instead of the Armor of Invincibility Fighter was actually searching for (although Fighter did not seem to notice or care). She is almost as greedy as Thief and once almost tricked Thief into paying her the entire kingdom of Elfland in return for his father's cure. Matoya has an overtly sexual relationship with Bahamut, the Dragon God-King, much to the disgust and horror of the Light Warriors.
The Other Warriors
The Other Warriors are a band of adventurers based on Dungeons & Dragons character classes who travel the world. They occasionally met the Light Warriors on their journey, were involved with obtaining the Orb of Air and were eventually killed by Sarda.
Generic Half-Elven Dual-Class Ranger
Ranger is very poetic and adventurous, as well as extremely friendly and trusting, though a bit naïve. He is capable of firing multiple arrows at once with uncanny accuracy and is able to use four bows at once, being a dual-class ranger/ranger. Ranger's heritage combines elven, human and orcish blood.
First Appearance: Episode 437: Companion
Sprite: Viking (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Berserker is a dwarf with two distinct personalities, one civilized and gentle and the other a raging, furious warrior. His calm side is characterized by polite and eloquent conversation and wearing a monocle; when entering a rage, the monocle falls off and he begins swearing and shouting incoherently while mauling whoever happens to stand nearby. He seems unaware of his split personality and unable to remember his actions in the respective other state.
A "miracle shopper" who makes deals with the gods. In order to keep an open market, Cleric prefers not to devote himself to one single deity and is, in fact, an atheist. His use of divine intervention is often faulty and unreliable. Cleric made a deal with a Trickster God named Raven to bring Thief back to life; in return, Raven bestowed him with a "healing shiv", which has shown its worth in bringing Thief back from the very brink of death.
Like Thief, Rogue is constantly scamming people, including his own teammates. However, unlike Thief, who conducts his business through contracts and legal loopholes, Rogue relies on a network of shady contacts, one of whom is Thief himself. His catch phrase is "I may know a guy..."
First Appearance: Episode 569: What Dragon?
Sprite: Bahamut (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Bahamut is the God-King of Dragons who was awakened by Black Mage, although Fighter was blamed for doing so. He offered to give the Light Warriors "the power of self-realization and the power that comes with it" in exchange for the tail of the dreaded Dire Rat. When the Light Warriors brought him such a tail from the Castle of Ordeals, he granted their Class Changes. It later turned out that the reason Bahamut desired a rat tail was that rat tail soup is a potent virility drug, to be concocted by his girlfriend, Matoya. According to Muffin, Bahamut will slumber until the prophecy of the Enlightened Warrior (later revealed to be Fighter) is fulfilled in order to usher in the end of the world. Red Mage thus suspects that in attempting to save the world, they may have accidentally endangered it.
The Dark God
The only one of the Dark Gods Black Mage worships to appear to him, the Dark God made his class change effective. The Dark God's name, if any, has not been revealed, so Black Mage himself makes up the name "Darko, the Dark God of the Dark" in an attempt to convince his friends that he had really met a dark god. His official title is "Executive Assistant to Chaos", being one of many middle management deities in the organization of evil, and his plan was to guide Black Mage to overload himself with magic energy to the point where he'd become a portal for Chaos to enter the world. Thanks to Black Mage's incompetence, the plan failed.
First Appearance: Episode 787: Course change
Sprite: Dragoon (Final Fantasy III, Famicom), modified
Dragoon is the last of the Dragon Knights, an elite group of spear-carrying warriors who attack by jumping high in the air and coming down on their opponents. Dragoon uses this technique as a travel method, but is unable to perform these jumps without having a target. His usual target is Black Mage, although he does not harbour any ill will against the Light Warriors. In fact, he is extremely polite towards them, remaining oblivious to the considerable pain his travel method causes. Dragoon has encountered the team several times, mostly in passing. Like the Light Warriors, he was looking for the Air Orb that the Other Warriors seemingly stole from him and which he means to use to rebuild the Order of Dragon Knights. He had since been seen with White Mage and Sarda's younger self, before being teleported to the Moon by Sarda. Sometime in the following years, he joined Red Mage's support group for lone survivors of secret societies (Sects Buddies) after returning from the moon.
First Appearance: Episode 986: 1/64
Sprite: Warmech/Death Machine (Final Fantasy, NES)
Warmech is a robot and was the Sky Castle's guardian until it was blown up. He wants revenge on the Light Warriors for ridding him of his job, but his own incompetence prevents him from doing so. In his insanity, he follows the Light Warriors in a very transparent disguise as a human, but is outwitted again.
In Final Fantasy, the Warmech/Death Machine was the strongest regular enemy and a precursor of later games' superbosses. The title of the episode in which he first appears refers to the chance of encountering one in a certain area of the Sky Castle/Flying Fortress dungeon.
- Brian Clevinger (Kurosen). "Nuklear Power Forums, thread for episode 686". Retrieved 2006-05-06.
- Clevinger, Brian (2001-03-02). "Episode 001: We're going where?". 8-Bit Theater. Nuklear Power.
- Clevinger, Brian (2001-09-25). "Episode 081: It's Another One of Those Weird Episodes". 8-Bit Theater. Nuklear Power.
There are places of power. Places of destiny. Holy places where ley lines cross and the surrounding countryside surges with magikal energy. [...] He who possesses a nexus, it is said, holds the power to shape the world. [...] But what would happen if a nexus was not born as a place... but as a man?
- Clevinger, Brian (2002-08-14). "Episode 186: Everyone Has a Good Side. Sorta". 8-Bit Theater. Nuklear Power.
- Clevinger, Brian (2006-01-31). "Episode 655: Switcheroo!". 8-Bit Theater. Nuklear Power.
- Clevinger, Brian (2009-02-10). "Episode 665: Analysis". 8-Bit Theater. Nuklear Power.
Fighter: He's so fat. Kinda like you, Black Mage.
- Clevinger, Brian (2004-07-08). "Episode 439: Everything is Fighter's Fault". 8-Bit Theater. Nuklear Power.
Black Mage: I don't get it. What's that jerk got that I ain't. / White Mage: You mean besides a grasp of grammar? / Black Mage: Me talk good! / White Mage: Well, let's see. He knows the difference between right and wrong. Morals. A complete understanding of the theories and practical applications of personal hygiene. Friends. A face. The respect of his peers.
- Clevinger, Brian (2001-06-20). "Episode 045: No Extra Title for Survivor 8-bit Style Part 10". 8-Bit Theater. Nuklear Power.
- Clevinger, Brian (April 12, 2001). "Episode 015: A little intellectual conversation". 8-Bit Theater.
- Clevinger, Brian (May 13, 2004). "Episode 420: Be Excellent to Each Other". 8-Bit Theater.
- Clevinger, Brian (June 30, 2001). "Episode 049: What Else Would He Think About?". 8-Bit Theater.
- Clevinger, Brian (August 5, 2004). "Episode 449: Speak Friend and Enter". 8-Bit Theater.
- Clevinger, Brian (January 13, 2007). "Episode 795: Language Barrier". 8-Bit Theater.
- Clevinger, Brian (March 11, 2001). "Episode 004: Fight heroes, fight!". 8-Bit Theater.
- Clevinger, Brian (September 12, 2001). "Episode 077: And Now Thief is Back". 8-Bit Theater.
- Clevinger, Brian (November 7, 2002). "Episode 212: GTAFF: Pravoka City". 8-Bit Theater.
- Clevinger, Brian (May 19, 2001). "Episode 031: Legal Mumbo Jumbo". 8-Bit Theater.
- Clevinger, Brian (December 28, 2002). "Episode 230: The Cycle of Senseless Violence?". 8-Bit Theater.
- Clevinger, Brian (February 18, 2003). "Episode 250: Is That Plot Thickening I Smell?". 8-Bit Theater.
- Clevinger, Brian (May 26, 2001). "Episode 034: Introductions Are In Order". 8-Bit Theater.
- Clevinger, Brian (February 19, 2005). "Episode 517: Ice-capades". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 024: "She's a White Magic Woman."". 8-Bit Theater. 2001-05-03.
- "Episode 047: The Last of Survivor 8-bit Style Part 12". 8-Bit Theater. 2001-06-24.
- "Episode 495: Set into Motion". 8-Bit Theater. 2005-01-01.
- "Episode 074: Guest Appearances By..." 8-Bit Theater. 2001-09-02.
- "Episode 041: It Just Got Weird in Survivor 8-bit Style Part 6". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 300: The House Always Wins". 8-Bit Theater. 2003-06-26.
- "Episode 1180: The Next Stage". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 556: The Gang's All Here". 8-Bit Theater. 2005-05-28.
- "Episode 687: Graphic Detail". 8-Bit Theater. 2006-04-25.
- "Episode 984: So Totally Safe". 8-Bit Theater. 2008-04-26.
- "Episode 971: Just Talkin' 'Bout Sarda". 8-Bit Theater. 2008-03-27.
Dragoon: What is a Sarda? / Thief: Seriously. Jackass covers that one.
- "Episode 972: Department of Un-History, Item D-36". 8-Bit Theater. 2008-03-29.
Thief: The thing about Sarda is that the more he talks, the more chances it gives him to unmake you before you were born, so no one would know you were alive.
- "Episode 295: Why Would He Write That". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 483: Clue, Wayne's World, and Rashomon". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 631: What Goes Around, Comes Around". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 976: He Has One For Every Occasion". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 1171: Threat Assessment". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 1181: Of Loyalty". 8-Bit Theater.
- Clevinger, Brian (February 23, 2010). "A Few Things". 8-Bit Theater. Retrieved 23 February 2010.
- "Episode 052: Meanwhile..." 8-Bit Theater. 2001-07-07.
- "Episode 336: Elves Love Talking". 8-Bit Theater. 2003-09-30.
Thief: ...some local political posturing between the ruling class and a disenchanted ex-military leader, okay?
- "Garland". Nuklear Power forums.
- "Episode 208: Look Who's Back". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 268: Out on a Web". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 366: Evil Has a Name". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 523: The Doom That Came to Ice Cave". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 526: The Unnamable". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 968: A Spear In The Head Is Worth Two In The Bush". 8-Bit Theater forums. 2008-03-18.
- "Episode 1098: The Pop In". 8-Bit Theater. 2009-02-24.
- "Episode 1123: Endgame". 8-Bit Theater. 2009-06-08.
- "Episode 380: Introducing..." 8-Bit Theater. 2004-02-05.
- "Episode 466: Trigger Happy". 8-Bit Theater. 2004-10-15.
- "Episode 753: Day of the Tentacle". 8-Bit Theater. 2006-10-07.
- "Episode 764: Red October". 8-Bit Theater. 2006-10-07.
- "Episode 754: He's Gone To A Better Place". 8-Bit Theater. 2006-10-10.
- "Kraken/Ur's name". Nuklear Power forums.
- "Episode 907: Animal Companion". 8-Bit Theater. 2007-10-16.
- "Idoun is Muffin". 8-Bit Theater forums.
- "Episode 916: Getting To Know You". 8-Bit Theater. 2007-11-06.
- "Episode 962: Clearly, they do not". 8-Bit Theater. 2008-03-01.
- "Episode 245: Wheels Within Wheels". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 298: A Natural Response". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 608: Teleporting never screws anyone". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 058: Government At Work". 8-Bit Theater. 2001-07-20.
- "Episode 478: King Steve, You So Crazy". 8-Bit Theater. 2004-11-04.
- "Episode 083: A Shout Out to All You Web-Heads Out There". 8-Bit Theater. 2001-10-03.
- "Loose end?". Nuklear Power Forums.
- "Episode 172: The Inhabitant of the Cave". 8-Bit Theater. 2002-07-13.
- "Episode 635: Secret Ingredient". 8-Bit Theater. 2005-12-15.
- "Episode 435: He's a Fighter, Not a Diplomat". 8-Bit Theater. 2004-06-29.
- "Episode 804: Origin Of The Ranger". 8-Bit Theater. 2007-02-03.
Red Mage: A dual-class half-elven ranger who's also a quarter Lefeinish? What's the final quarter? / Ranger: Half-Orc.
- "Episode 437: Companion". 8-Bit Theater. 2004-07-03.
- "Episode 446: "Stand Up Next to a Mountain..."". 8-Bit Theater.
Berserker: I had readied them with an official seal of my family, Axinhed, so they could travel without fear of being struck down by the populace.
- "Episode 577: So Many Warriors". 8-Bit Theater. 2005-07-16.
- "Episode 578: One More Look Into The Mind Of Fighter". 8-Bit Theater. 2005-07-19.
- "Episode 808: "Who Else?"". 8-Bit Theater. 2007-02-13.
- "Episode 569: What Dragon?". 8-Bit Theater. 2005-06-28.
- "Episode 917: Let Sleeping Dragons Lie". 8-Bit Theater. 2007-11-08.
- "Episode 654: Ominous". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 1083: Not One Single Portent". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 787: Course Change". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 899: Don't Mention The Dragon War". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 894: Jump To Conclusions". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 812: And He Has A Lovely Singing Voice". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 904: The Doors Had No Bass". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 897: So This Is What It's Like When Doves Cry". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 1005: Of Hardships". 8-Bit Theater. 2008-06-14.
- "Episode 1011: Better than L2". 8-Bit Theater.
- "The Epilogue". 8-Bit Theater. 2010-06-01.
- "Episode 986: 1/64". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 987: Compensation". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 989: Like Riding A Bike". 8-Bit Theater.
- "Episode 1001: I can't believe someone was asshole enough to make more than 1,000 sprite comics". 8-Bit Theater.