Characters of Sluggy Freelance
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- 1 Main characters
- 2 Supporting cast
- 3 References
A hapless freelance web designer and an incorrigible punster, Torg is the protagonist in most storylines, having appeared in more than half of the site's comics at last count. He is impulsive and not so bright, and yet he sometimes comes up with surprising but clever solutions to problems.
Torg is also marked by his amiable personality and his unwavering loyalty to his friends, which sometimes causes him to act in selfless (and sometimes reckless) ways. He has taken on an increasingly heroic and deep personality as several of his adventures have taken him far away from friends for long periods of time in ever more lethal situations. He was emotionally shattered after spending much of 2004 in the middle of a demonic invasion of a parallel universe. Despite being a thin young adult, Torg is a highly skilled marksman, and often displays unusual athleticism in dangerous situations, and his fighting skills greatly improved after many years of bizarre adventures (to the point of apparently even impressing Bun-bun). He also has a strong spirit, evident when he easily beat K'Z'K to a pulp in his own mental dimension.
Torg seems to have problems with steady or stable relationships, as most of the women with any romantic designs on Torg have generally found themselves dead, emotionally traumatized, or generally not very well-off. For example, when Torg gave Zoë a necklace found in a lost Egyptian pyramid, it turned out to be cursed and turned her into a camel. This pattern of girlfriend-destruction itself can even be seen as self-perpetuating, since one of the reasons Torg has not actively pursued a relationship with Zoë (or broken it off when it got too intimate) is that he fears that if he lets her become close she too will fall victim to one of the many weird dangers that Torg constantly finds himself surrounded by. This fear was increased after Alt-Zoë was killed in front of him in 2004, but after confronting this fear in the shadow world during the Wayang Kulit adventure, he has moved past it. He is now attempting to track down Oasis and sort things out to remove any danger to Zoë. After Riff's Mark 19 explodes and Zoe and Riff are thought dead. Torg recruits Sam, Sasha, Bun Bun and Zombie Head on a Stick to work for the Minion Master.
Torg was a freelance web designer for many years before his business went bankrupt. Since then he has had little success with jobs. This difficulty is partly due to his many adventures drawing him away from home. He also has a severe problem with a regimented work schedule or the very concept of having to be up before 9 a.m. He started working for Adversion Advertisement in May 2005, but was fired in January 2007 for constant absences from work.
Not much is known about Torg's past. He says he has some Viking heritage, which may explain his name. His family has never been shown, but he has been friends with Riff since grade school.
Astute readers will note that Torg's trademark eternally plaid shirt is always filled with a series of neat vertical and horizontal stripes. Pete Abrams, who has demonstrated increasing artistic acumen over the years, appears to deliberately ignore all rules of perspective when drawing the shirt, so that overlapping folds of fabric or bending of the arms have no impact on its stripes. Crossover artists often imitate this design trait when drawing him.
Following the "That Which Redeems" storyline, Torg has taken to wearing a slightly wider repertoire of shirts. During the Wayang Kulit storyline, the plaid shirt appears to be associated with 'old Torg' or 'happy Torg', while the solid red shirt is associated with his increasingly heroic role in adventures (It is sometimes referred to as the "hero shirt" by fans). The white t-shirt, on the other hand, is associated with cowardice - Torg attempting to put on a face to hide from the problems which have begun to take a heavy toll on his psyche. The shirt and tie - Torg's "work clothes" - in this storyline seem to represent an attempt to escape his problems as well, or to deal with his problems by violence rather than coming to terms with them.
Genius inventor and "freelance bum" whose creations almost always bring mayhem and destruction in their wake. Riff is much more introverted than much of the cast (especially in contrast to his best friend Torg), and seems to often have difficulty expressing his feelings beyond just a shrug or nod. As a result, he has difficulty maintaining a steady relationship. Besides Gwynn and Sasha, he seems to have had a number of girlfriends his friends and the readers have not even heard about as he avoids discussing such things.
Riff's inventions have been extremely varied (though he has a love for heavy firepower), and often play key roles in plot lines. Among his inventions have been the Dimensional Flux-Agitator (a device used for moving matter between dimensions), a time machine (not Y2K-compatible), and a gigantic mecha-style robot featuring enough firepower for a modern army with an AI cribbed from an old See-'n-Say. Their unpredictable (and usually destructive) effects generally lead to Riff uttering his catchphrase, "Let me check my notes."
His biological mother was revealed early in the strip to be Dr. Lorna, a Dr. Laura-esque radio personality whom he blames for ruining his life. She disowns him after his mechanical duplicate (operated by Bun-bun and Kiki) causes problems at one of his mother's parties. His father's identity is Wilcott Wilden, who seems to be an Indiana Jones-esque archaeologist. Riff primarily lived with his father and stepmother since the age of ten, and even Torg did not know the truth about his real mother until it came up early during the events of the comic. (The story "A Carnivorous Smurf for Kimmy Sue Hasenpfeffer" contradicts the last claim by featuring Dr. Lorna as known by Torg to be Riff's mother in the eighties.)
Riff also was a former freelance talent for the evil corporation HeretiCorp, but eventually aided in reducing the company to shambles when he discovered the reports he had sent in were being used for very sinister purposes. Afterward, he took an office job and was transferred to Alaska where he set up a company making anti-vampire weapons. When his accountant managed to bankrupt him, he returned to freelance bum work.
Riff usually wears a trench coat and his face is never seen without his sunglasses. In one Clay Yount strip, he is sleeping with a blinder, and turns away when he reaches for his sunglasses, but in Pete Abrams strips he even sleeps with sunglasses on. He has a fear of clowns and the Department of Motor Vehicles. He had a self-esteem problem when he was going through high school. His "translator" says random phrases designed to stroke his ego.
According to novelist John Ringo, who has corresponded with Pete Abrams while doing a crossover, Riff was originally based on a deceased friend of Abrams' named Paul Kilzer. This connection is touched upon in "The Sluggite Koan".
Half-Korean friend, housemate, and occasional camel, Zoë Bean is probably the sanest one of the bunch, often acting as the voice of reason. More often than not, she gets swept up in the group's adventures either entirely by accident or against her will.
Zoë is originally from Nebraska, where she also eventually graduated from college. Her family includes her younger sister Min (who is now in college herself), her father (who works as an English teacher and looks vaguely similar to Torg), and an incredibly overprotective mother. She has given up a long time ago on trying to be honest to her mother about her life since meeting Torg and Riff ("No mom, I'm not on drugs!")
There is a great deal of unspoken romantic tension between Zoë and Torg, which has been the cause of many a fan's frustration (as well as a great deal of hilarity). Of the two, Zoë seems not to be explicitly aware of what feelings she might have for him. Torg, on the other hand, thinks he is in love with her, but has been unable and sometimes unwilling to act on these feelings due to various circumstances over the years, ranging from her dating someone else to fear that Oasis would kill her out of jealousy. Anything resembling a resolution on this issue is yet to take place. On July 27, 2009, while being attacked by Oasis, she finally comes to realize that Torg is indeed in love with her.
A magical necklace, a gift from Torg, has somehow become attached to Zoë, and now manifests only as a tattoo based on its original shape. The presence of this necklace causes her to be transformed into a camel on the magic word "Shupid" and restored on the word "Kwi".
Zoë has found constant work in radio, most recently as an intern on KBLAM's Broadman and Midget Show. Put on the air as Leslie Bean (her real last name was later revealed to be Bean), "The Flakey Intern", her appearances brought in high ratings as she began talking about her bizarre home-life situations on air, eventually gaining her an own show with "Midget" (there known as "Jetski"). However, her friends were upset to hear her talking about them on the show. Consequently, she was forced to move out of the mansion and has started living with Torg. As of December 2006 her radio career had alienated her from everyone bar Torg, including her family, and on 16 February 2007 she appeared to be trying to leave her job. Since then she has made amends with her friends and moved back in with Gwynn and Aylee. She helped Gwynn get her soul back after she nearly cost the two their souls. It was revealed on the 29 January 2009 strip that she had been fired without notice on the previous day.
Zoë first appeared on September 23, 1997. It is revealed that she was born in 1979 on December 8, 2004. She was presumed to be dead after being transported to another dimension with Riff. However, she was seen alive but in a horrifically burned condition in an alternate dimension with Riff. By clever trickery, Riff managed to restore Zoë to her pre-burned condition.
Bun-bun is a mini lop rabbit that was bought by Torg to be the strip's cute, talking, furry animal, a role he fills well enough. Unfortunately, he is also manipulative, violent, amoral, easily angered and extremely vengeful. (When Torg complains to the individual who sold him Bun-bun, the man notes that, technically, Bun-bun is physically cute, and he does talk, even if the things he says and does are not at all cute.) Bun-bun, though physically a small rabbit, is more powerful than much of the cast, possessing great strength disproportionate to his size (he fought Aylee to a draw) and being, for the most part, very cunning and devious. A running gag, particularly early in the strip, is that incidental characters who are themselves dangerous will mistake Bun-bun for a harmless victim, which annoys Bun-bun sufficiently for him to violently disabuse them of that notion — often in a fatal manner. Bun-bun often switches between roles in the comic, and has been the protagonist, the antagonist, the contagonist, and many other roles and jobs, including a narrator. He has a liking for alfalfa-margaritas and Baywatch; he went into mourning when the series was cancelled, and tried to kill everyone when his extensive tape collection of the series was accidentally wiped (even when Torg bought new tapes). Despite wearing no clothes, he typically carries a switchblade that he can produce seemingly out of hammerspace at will. Like Riff, he has a fairly extensive collection of weapons, his second favorite after the switchblade being a Glock handgun. Bun-bun has a violent hatred of telemarketers that is significantly stronger even than his typical hostility towards anyone who gets in his way or who simply crosses his path. While he goes out of his way to track down and slay telemarketers who call him, he typically kills any and all telemarketers in general, whenever the opportunity presents itself.
Most of his origin is currently unknown: Bun-bun himself has stated that many of his memories prior to meeting Torg are hazy, at best. The only certainty is that his mother was murdered when he was very young. Certain scenes have pointed towards the rabbit being quite old and possibly immortal; he was present when the second Deus Ex Ovum was used. The exact point in time when this occurred is uncertain, but dialogue points towards it being a very long time ago, far longer than a rabbit (and probably humans) should ordinarily live. However, his presence at the use of the second Deus Ex Ovum may be the result of time travel after leaving Timeless Space. The 18 April 2013 comic suggests that Bun-bun or one of his ancestors, or in any case a mini lop, was worshiped in some part of ancient Egypt as a god.
Bun-bun has had a long-running war with Santa Claus, the exact nature of the origins of this feud being uncertain (even to Bun-bun, due to his clouded memories). During one of his escapades, Bun-bun accidentally slew the Easter Bunny, and assumed the role for a time. His distaste for being forced to fulfill the requirements the role of the Easter Bunny conferred, as well as his cruel and aggressive nature, and his feud with Santa Claus, led to open warfare between Bun-bun and all the other holidays. After an abortive attempt to take over all the world's holidays, Bun-bun was tossed out of time by Santa. He wound up in Timeless Space, and took residence inside the Obsidian Teknokon's head. In this guise, he tracked down the younger version of himself from the first time he had been thrown into the void by Santa. After losing his ship to himself in a gambling match (deliberately), and being tossed overboard, Bun-bun followed himself to find out how he originally escaped. After a climatic battle above the Oceans Unmoving, the pair encountered Uncle Time who returned Bun-bun to Brie Meighsaton House in the present and sold his past self, who was suffering from amnesia after being hit on the head by his future self, to Torg for his first appearance in the strip.
Bun-bun is aware that he has been tossed out of time before, but is not sure whether or not Santa did it (even though Mrs. Claus suggests that he threw Bun-bun "into the void" before). While his vendetta against Santa continues, his only action against him that year is to fire Kiki at his sleigh, causing presents to fall all over a highway.
He is rude to all the other members of the group, shows no concern for their feelings, and has made it clear on numerous occasions that he has no interest in helping them, even when their lives were at risk, unless helping them coincides with some selfish personal interest (greed, or often, revenge, as the individual or group threatening them often does something to annoy him.) He denigrates the other members of the group and exploits his relationships with them for personal gain. Yet, despite his constantly expressed contempt for the others, after every one of his adventures, he always seems to gravitate back to the group—possibly because they are the only people willing to put up with his constant abuse. He has helped them on several occasions, though, as previously noted, he usually stood to gain in some way. The only times when Bun-bun displays actual sympathy and compassion towards others are when he has drunk massive amounts of rum, which he usually does around New Year's Eve.
Bun-bun's closest relationships in the group are with Torg, who often still seems to regard Bun-bun as his pet, despite clearly having no control over the rabbit, and Kiki, who seems very fond of Bun-bun and often tries to play with him (something Bun-bun finds to be massively annoying.) Despite constantly denigrating them (he calls Torg "nerd-boy" and Kiki "tube rat") he has tolerated the two of them for years, although he expresses hostility and annoyance with their behaviors on a near-constant basis. Kiki in particular has managed to live despite annoying Bun-bun to a degree he would surely tolerate from no other creature; this might indicate that he has a soft spot for her (though he would surely deny it, and seriously harm anyone who suggested it.) Bun-bun has expressed a grudging respect for Riff's destructive tendencies on more than one occasion; he will occasionally work with Gwynn if he thinks he stands to gain by it (such as using her black magic for some goal of his.) He and Zoe do not particularly like each other, but seem to have grown to tolerate each other over the years. However, out off all the main characters, Aylee seems to have the most healthy relationship with Bun-bun, with the latter being more manipulative than aggressive towards her. The reason of this is because, very early on the webcomic, Aylee earned his respect by battled against him to a draw, making him to realize that Aylee is a worthy opponent (he even apologised for cutting off her arm). Also in the chapter "Aylee", Bun-bun openly acknowledged to Riff that he is more fond of her than the rest of the cast. However, this genuine amount of respect and company usually is not enough to spare Aylee from his greediness or demeaning attitude.
Bun-bun first appeared on August 31, 1997.
It is slightly unclear whether the name should be written as "Bun-Bun" or "Bun-bun", since in the comic itself most text is entirely in capitals; however, in the few places where it is not (such as in the sub-chapter title "Bun-bun's Revenge"), the second B is not capitalized. In a message typed by Gwynn in one comic, the entire name "bun-bun" is lower case.
In other media
A parody version of Bun-bun appears as a minor character in John Ringo's Council Wars series. This version of Bun-bun is an artificial intelligence designed to act and look like Bun-bun, without explicit reference to the source.
Bun-bun appears with several other cartoon characters as a monster in the card game Munchkin.
In season 2, episode 9 of the Showtime show, Penn and Teller's Bullshit, a rabbit is mimed being killed. Penn indicates that the rabbit's name was Bun-bun.
Aylee is an alien refugee from another dimension capable of changing form to adapt to current circumstances. She first appeared looking like a Xenomorph and attempted to eat the entire crew of a starship in a science fiction parody. Riff and Torg were the only survivors, and she followed them into their world. Stranded in an alien world, she found herself at a loss what to do, and she eventually became Torg's secretary, though Riff never trusted her.
In spite of her ability to adapt physically into virtually any environment and with Earth's own peculiarities and its rules against just eating everything that moves Aylee had great difficulties fitting into complicated human life on Earth. This is the source of much of the humour related to her. She is naive and childlike and largely unable to control the appetites associated with her various forms, such as the inclination to eat humans when she is carnivorous. Though this topic is usually treated lightly, it is also the source of serious conflict. Riff especially fears that Aylee may yield to her species's instincts to destroy and consume, and even as she grows closer to her human friends over the years, he expects he may have to destroy her in the end to save everyone else.
Aylee's shape-shifting ability seems to have almost no limits other than that she sometimes needs to cocoon up for a time to perform a more difficult shift. Her forms over the years have been numerous and quite different from each other, though they often have elements reminiscent of a dragon or a Xenomorph. Usually Aylee's changes signal a plot point in the story, as she reacts to something significant or takes on a form that affects events in itself.
Pete Abrams had first not intended Aylee to change forms. The publisher of his books warned Pete there could be problems in continuing use of Aylee because of her resemblance to H.R. Giger's alien, and so Pete came up with the shapechanging ability.
Aylee first appeared on October 14, 1997.
Riff's ferret; A former lab animal brought to the strip to serve as a more traditional cute animal. She is hyperkinetic, has a microscopic attention span, and has a dark past as Dr. Crabtree's test animal. She belonged to Sam for a time after Bun-bun took over the lab and released the animals, then came into the care of Riff. Kiki is like a small child in many respects. Even though she can be annoying at times, most of the other characters, including Riff, Sam and even Bun-bun (who tends to be more condescending than hostile to her, labeling her a "tube rat" and often manipulating her), seem to have a soft spot for her, and will help her in times of need. She has a deep love of shiny things matched only by the shortness of her attention span. After some Halloween strips, Kiki was occasionally fed candy, which for the first time showed her ability to move at supersonic speeds. Bun-bun on more than one occasion has taken advantage of this to weaponize her (the ferret-bazooka), as when sugar-powered, she moves fast enough to penetrate solid brick walls. She also enjoys karaoke, often to the rest of the cast's dismay. Her deepest fear is mangled toast.
Kiki seems particularly fond of Bun-bun, and often tries to converse with him, play with him, and otherwise engage him (which irritates Bun-bun to no end.) Oddly, though Bun-bun has attacked Kiki on more than one occasion when she irritated him (not a difficult thing to do) he has never followed through on any sustained effort to do her serious physical harm. As the gang has moved over the years, Bun-bun and Kiki have lived in the same house, apartment, etc., on and off for several years; the mere fact that Kiki is still alive after spending years in Bun-bun's company might indicate that Bun-bun has a soft spot for her (though he would surely deny it, and inflict tremendous pain on whomever suggested it.)
Kiki was also the main character in the "No Content on Saturdays" filler which ran on most Saturdays during 2007.
Kiki first appeared on December 15, 1997.
Another friend and housemate; she is as blind as a bat without her glasses. Although she is sardonic, selfish, often violent, and will manipulate people at the drop of a hat, she has proven her loyalty to her friends several times, usually in periods of crisis. She and Riff have dated in the past, and she is also psychologically conditioned to thump guys who act like jerks. Following a long stint as a worker at AyleeOrgNet, she spent a long period bitter and unemployed with her lowest end being pocketing the money from the gang's Halloween party during a financial crisis and claiming that the guests had claimed refunds in the absence of a demon (she was the only housemate present- Zoë and Torg had vanished and Riff had gone after them). She recently worked at Zomblebee's restaurant. In recent times, she came to regard the rest of the cast as not being her friends and has admitted she believes everyone will hurt her at some point, and that is why she may try to hurt them first. Through seeing a psychiatrist, she has come to regard the others as a surrogate family. She has gained an antagonistic attitude towards Torg, caused by her false belief that he hates her.
After a confrontation with one of her Zomblebee's co-workers, who was an actual zombie, she gives Torg a video game and as he declares it, the entire household was friends for a while.
She is a practitioner of black magic with heavy ties to both the Book of E-Ville and the demon K'Z'K. Having been possessed twice by the Voweless, she attempted to drop magic but circumstances keep drawing her back in - manipulation by Bun-bun, her own pettiness, dangerous situations, and the fact that the Book does not want to leave her, once mentally contacting her and telling her it loved her. She had attempted to use magic to cure her eye problems, but this failed when the essential ingredients, monkeys, were eaten by a zombie. She tried to cure hair problems with magic, resulting in the near loss of souls of most of her friends.
Gwynn first appeared on December 28, 1997.
aka "Sam da man": a rather dimwitted wannabe ladies' man with an overinflated ego. Sam was turned into a vampire in an early adventure, and he leaves the main group shortly after due to Riff's mistrust. He is, for the most part, only shown in the comic through side stories about him. However, from time to time he and the other main characters will cross paths. He is the last remaining member of the Lysinda Circle of vampires, although when this was pointed out to him he renamed it the "Sam Cirkail Mamajama." Unlike most vampires, a stake through the heart does not turn him to dust, but merely forces him to shrivel up like a raisin until the stake is pulled out. While he can mesmerize women, this ability cancels out when he tries to use it to seduce them.
Unlike most of the main characters, Sam actually has a known last name.
Sam has now received a subscription-only comic based around his exploits between appearances in Sluggy called Nobody Beats The Sampire.
Sam recently returned to the main strip as part of Torg's minion group along with Bun Bun, Sasha, Torg and Zombie Head On A Stick. He was apparently killed by being decapitated by N'aaaw.
- Dr. Catherine Crabtree
- A scientist of highly questionable ethics, sanity, and bodily composition. She was involved in a project to create nanites, tiny robots designed to exist in a person's bloodstream and report all personal information about them to a centralized database, using Kiki as her test-subject. When this failed (when the nanites would spread, they would kill their host), she seemingly put the project on hold. She then seemed to have increasingly experimented on herself with nanites, turning her into some form of cyborg. She was eventually destroyed by an EMP blast of Aylee's, shutting down all of her nanites and liquefying her. During the course of her appearance of the comics, she never was a major threat, but rather attempted sneaking up on Kiki and the others, only to have her plans thwarted before anyone noticed she was there.
Oasis first appeared on September 22, 1999.
She is a pyrokinetic gymnast assassin who is brainwashed to be madly in love with Torg and will kill anyone in her path. She has no memory of her life prior to being brainwashed to love Torg. It was revealed in a September 2006 story that she was dropped off at an orphanage at Virginia at age six by a "crazy-looking man", before being adopted by Dr. Steven Hereti a month later; she was just as capable an assassin back then, and did abstract art. It is known that before this, she spent some time at the Orsintos Research Center, which attempted to capture and weaponise ghosts; in the present day, the center is long abandoned and most of its records have been destroyed, and one of Oasis' paintings is in Cell B-1. Its only resident is a ghost trapped within that communicates via cell phone.
She is specially programmed to kill employees of Hereti-Corp, and will drop whatever she is doing and kill them (known as "override B-1"). She had been trying to kill Zoë out of jealousy, although she was pacified by a marriage proposal from Torg. She regularly switches from relatively calm and stable to manic and insane and back again. The main characters, at one time, wondered if she was a robot (she claimed that "did not compute"), but they have confirmed that she is human by researching her past. She seems to have repeatedly and mysteriously come back from the dead.
An example of her resurrections was seen in the small town of Podunkton. After spending several months there, killing criminals and throwing about very lame puns due to her total boredom, Oasis was shot in the head by an assassin under cover as a reporter named Nash Straw. She reappeared after the car her body had been in was blown up. She was no longer wearing the same clothes she wore when she was shot in the head; instead, she was wearing her standard fighting costume. An unidentified corpse was found in the remains of Nash's car. Following the battle, Oasis mentioned a theory that she is a ghost possessing and altering other people's bodies, and that this is why she reacts in different ways to the same memories and situations following every death.
- The Evil
- A litter of 18 (6+6+6) evil kittens created when Satan came to earth and drunkenly accepted a dare. The Evil are quite harmless unless they have not been given their milk, at which point they fly into a murderous rage, killing everyone in the immediate area. They are invincible, though the kittens themselves eventually seem to realize the hold milk has upon them. They have also more recently been given mittens and additional powers (such as the ability to fly) from their father, Satan.
These demons immediately possess anyone foolish enough to summon them into this world. Often, the host undergoes a transformation, becoming similar in appearance to the demon, though they can appear like normal humans if it suits their purposes. Demons generally communicate with each other telepathically, so their avatars are often shown over a faded background of the real world.
- A light blue, mucus (or bubble gum) like demon that worked with K'Z'K. He was summoned when a man named Bob attempted to read a Bazooka Joe comic after a printing error had caused its ink to run into runes of pure evil. Skippy can transform Bob into a sticky goo. The demon first appeared as K'Z'K's underling after Gwynn's second possession. Though he acted obsequious, it has been implied that Skippy was far more knowledgeable than he appeared. He is now the head of a cadre of demons eagerly anticipating K'Z'K's return.
- A wasp-like demon. She began a cult based around K'Z'K fifty years ago, including several human members (who have the cult's symbol tattooed on them), but now believes the end of the world is her own task. Chilus possessed and subverted key elements of Clongressive, LLC and engineered the brain-bug "accident." It was her intention that the bugs would escape into the world and turn humanity into an army of antisocial geeks. She had intended Zoë, the legendary Storm Breaker, to be among the first victims. After her plot failed, she managed to escape the building by possessing Meander, sister of Clonegressive's head. Skippy is very angry with her for allowing Zoë to re-enter the equation, and it appears the two have had conflicts before, particularly since Chilus doubts that K'Z'K will return.
- A powerful demon with plans to rule the world, originally summoned by Gwynn. He is very touchy about people who mispronounce his name, although the main cast invariably uses vowels when referring to him. K'Z'K's powers include the ability to raise the dead as "Deadels" under his control. Gwynn first summoned him to kill her ex-boyfriend Riff (she did not know that demons summoned with the Book of E-Ville get free run of the earth once they complete their tasks), but ended up possessed by him. K'Z'K turned Gwynn into a large purple monster and used Dr. Lorna to bait Riff into his trap. Torg managed to exorcise K'Z'K using the Book of E-Ville and grammar puns, then Riff blasted the demon into the past with Berk's time blaster.
- K'Z'K wound up in medieval Europe near the kingdoms of Mercia and Trent. When Zoë and Torg were sent to this time from a time machine accident, K'Z'K attacked. Zoë tricked him into looking at the holy picture book called The Book of Güd, reducing him to a small, bug-like creature, which she promptly stepped on.
- After his demise, the souls of K'Z'K's victims returned to their original bodies. Gwynn's soul, however, carried a sentient part of K'Z'K's essence. K'Z'K managed to secretly amplify Gwynn's magic, so every time Gwynn used magic, K'Z'K grew stronger. He eventually appeared to her as an online lover named "Kenny" who encouraged Gwynn to use her magic more. In actuality, the "chat room" where they met was a word processor, and Gwynn was typing for both of them. When he became strong enough, K'Z'K forced Gwynn away from her friends and trapped her soul in a nightmarish dreamworld where a vortex would end her entire existence if she looked behind her. After gaining enough strength, K'Z'K took Gwynn's body back to the apartments to wreak his vengeance. When K'Z'K was on the verge of winning, Gwynn looked back, but used her friendship with Zoë to fight the vortex's pull. When K'Z'K returned to mock Gwynn, she grabbed him and threw him into the vortex instead. However, Skippy suggests that other pieces of K'Z'K exist, and another may be sentient.
A shadowy corporate organization that funds questionable scientific research and has its hand in a large number of conspiracies. After Riff destroyed their Aylee-Clone project and Gwynn revealed their evil for all to see, the corporation was reduced to shambles. However, its highest-ranking officers survived and took up jobs at Burger Meister, using that as a springboard to resurrect their company, eventually taking the company over. Thanks to Gennaro's secret cheese recipe, they have rebuilt a new business empire out of the House of Cheese pizza franchise, which is a major financial success; House of Cheese uses the Hereti-Corp "hC" logo, with the intention of provoking Oasis into repeated Override B-1 rampages so they can track her. They are now aiming at "reclaiming lost programs" and targeting the K'Z'K cult.
- Dr. Steve Hereti
- Oasis' creator and/or trainer, founder of Hereti-Corp. He adopted Oasis when she was seven. His Oasis Project was seemingly implemented after he had a falling out with his own corporation and created his own compound in a forest, so very little is known either about Oasis or his doings there. Was almost certainly killed when his compound self-destructed.
- Dade "Daedalus" Hereti
- Recently ousted, he was for a long time the mysterious leader of Hereti-Corp. His face has never been seen, because he has a strict policy that his "Evil Room" be kept completely dark, on pain of death. As such, for quite some time, all that was known about him was that he had black hair and was Caucasian. He managed to escape the law after Hereti-Corp fell, and worked up his way to become a high-ranking Burger Meister executive before reforming his company. Soon after the new rise of the company, it was taken over by Dr. Schlock, who fired Daedalus and had him thrown into a cell. In December 2008, it was revealed that Daedalus is the son of Hereti Corp founder Steve Hereti.
- Dr. Irving Schlock
- The recently appointed, almost unwilling head of Hereti-Corp, Dr. Schlock has a long history of previous involvement with the corporation and the main characters, usually playing the role of an anti-hero of sorts.
- Originally a scientist who worked in the same lab as Dr. Crabtree, Schlock first appeared as a walk-on character administering cosmetic tests on Bun-bun, where it appears he lost his left eye and now has to wear an eye patch. He later appeared as an old man from the future of an alternate timeline where K'Z'K had taken over the world. His knowledge helped save the current timeline from that same fate. He is not an out-and-out villain, just incredibly selfish and cowardly. He would occasionally aid the main characters with insider information (having been involved with Hereti Corp entirely against his will) or inflatable technology from the future, but only when threatened with significant bodily harm. Indeed, a recurring gag in the webcomic is that, every time Schlock thinks he is safe from his enemies, Riff appears out of nowhere with a ray gun pointed into his ear (in the "book" Aylee, a disgusted Schlock asks how he(Riff) does that). However, he is a slippery and clever opponent, having gained the better of both Dr. Crabtree and Hereti-Corp by cunning when they were after him. Due to his attempts at cloning Aylee, he knows more about her physiology than anyone else alive. Because the currently active timeline diverged from the one which the old future version of the doctor came from when K'Z'K didn't conquer the world, this Schlock has remained unaffected by the death of his "present-day" self at the hands (and fangs) of Dr. Crabtree and has long been the only one remaining.
- Recently, Schlock was seen living with Torg and Riff, helping them keep Aylee alive, and Riff was helping him with his 'evil' issues. After near to constant encounters with a naked Gwynn, he gained a severe crush on her  which appears to have ended after she kicked him immensely hard in the privates. When Aylee's latest form emerged, Schlock tried to escape (with Riff's Dimensional Flux Agitator in tow) without being detected, but ended up chased by both Hereti-Corp and the government. He evaded both for a time, but offered to make a deal with Hereti-Corp by offering them a functional Dimensional Flux Agitator, in turn receiving a share of the company's stock and the position of the head of R&D. However, he had been secretly buying Hereti-Corp stock through a number of shell companies, and managed to acquire a controlling interest in the company, proceeding to make himself CEO and fire Daedalus. Later, he used Kusari to get rid of the government agents tracking him by killing them. Though expressing reluctance to having taken such an evil path in the first place, he now intends to continue Hereti-Corp's plans for world domination.
- An assassin working for Hereti-Corp. She refers to herself as Oasis' "sister," and likely was created through similar (unknown) means. Unlike Oasis, she is very level-headed in combat. She spent most of her time on the Oasis retrieval project. She also has the ability to be "rebuilt," or otherwise "replaced" after her death, though her personality remains relatively stable in contrast with Oasis' alternating bouts of insanity. She was killed by Oasis in a failed attempt to kill Zoë, but has come back to life (maybe even the same way as Oasis). She has been appointed head of security by Dr. Schlock. She clearly knows Torg and Riff and, despite her talents as an assassin, appears to view them as a potential threat, or at least challenge. Her name is Japanese for 'chain' and seems to relate to her favourite weapons; she uses two kusari-gamas.
- A random frog in a sewer, he received sentience and fluency in English by eating one of the Clonegressive Mindswarm bugs, causing him to scream "Good job, God! Granting self awareness to something that LIVES IN THE PLUMBING!". Following Hereti-Corp's investigation, Frog was found and became their Marketing head. His personal assistant is fellow (non-sentient) frog Corsica.
- A clone of Aylee made by Dr. Schlock, was later brainwashed to believe that she was the real Aylee with amnesia. She was a large, crab-like creature with massive claws and smaller arms, the result of torture by Hereti Corp that forced her to adapt. She considered Aylee to be weak and tried to kill her former friends. Was killed by Aylee and Torg using the "Unholy Evil Death Bringer" sword, which decapitated her.
The Demons of the Dimension of Pain
The Dimension of Pain is an evil world where demons thrive and all goodness has been driven out. This is not to be confused with Hell because Satan does exist in the continuity, (as father of the EVIL and as master of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse) but does not live in the Dimension of Pain. An oft-heard comment on all things related to the dimension is "How evil." The Dimension of Pain is introduced when Torg is accidentally sent there by the Dimensional Flux-Agitator early on.
The Dimension of Pain is magically linked to several similar dimensions, some inhabitants are also listed here.
- Former Demon Lord of the Dimension of Pain, Horribus was large, mean, and very proud. He was granted aristocracy and lordship after leading the forces of the Dimension of Pain to victory after the accidental death of the previous ruler, Lord Atrocioun. He can destroy other demons with fire.
- Though proving himself incompetent as a leader, Horribus managed to retain his position for many years after Torg's initial escape from the Dimension of Pain. He sends one of his demons into Torg's realm every Halloween in multiple botched attempts to kill or capture Torg. The latter events, especially, would prove to be Horribus' downfall; when the Dimension of Pain invaded the Dimension of Lame, Horribus diverted more demonpower into finding the dimension-lost Torg than conquering the world, leading to his defeat. In the midst of a heated chase to catch Torg, who had fled to the Dimension of Pain with Alt-Zoë and Alt-Bunbun, Horribus killed Mospinispinosp and Alt-Zoë; Torg, enraged, first went to attack him, but then chose to knock him down into a pit instead, buying him enough time to save Alt-Alt-Torg and the Goddess of Goodness locked in the Demon King's freezer.
- The aftermath of the battle leaves the Demons stuck back in the Dimension of Pain, the portal to the DoL closed off by the Goddess. Horribus is transformed back into "Horb" and is sent off to an uncertain fate.
- Horribus's idiotic assistant. Amongst his mishaps, he accidentally kills Lord Atrocioun with a shortened Hellspear (he thought Horb had told him to "shorten it" as opposed to "sharpen it"), and woke up the first and second Dragons of Annoyia. He has performed some good actions somewhat by accident, however, such as driving the first Dragon of Annoyia away by being launched at its nose (earning him the (self-given) title of Reakk the Dragon Boinker), and using the Evil Super Mop of the Heavens to clear a path to the Dimension of Lame. He was best friends with Psyk and Mospinispinosp before the former was promoted and the latter(s?) were killed. He was the only demon to stay loyal to Horribus during the Dimension of Lame invasion, while everyone else followed Psyk.
- A portly cyclopean demon. Attempts to think things through logical means. Loyal to Horribus at the start, he became frustrated at the unhealthy obsession Horribus had with catching Torg. During the That Which Redeems storyline he repeatedly defies orders, preferring to focus on conquering the Dimension of Lame over catching a single mortal. As punishment for one of his transgressions Horribus snaps off Psyk's favorite horn, leaving behind an infected sore. Psyk eventually abandons Horribus as he fights Torg in the Dimension of Pain, catalyzing Horribus's loss of support. In the aftermath of the 'That Which Redeems' storyline, the Demon King promotes Psyk to the aristocracy. The infection from his lost horn spreads, and Lord Psykosis is born.
- Isp, Osp and Mosp/Mospinispinosp/Asp, Asp and Amospia
- Initially named "Asp" and "Asp," Isp and Osp were two snake-like archers serving under the Demon King in the hostile takeover of what would become the Dimension of Pain. In a botched attempt to kill Mosp, then "Amospia," as a twisted way of thanking her for accidentally betraying her people and allowing the demons into the city, the two Asps are merged with Amospia by a wizard wielding the Spear of Calmadar. The wizard, stripping Amospia of her name and mouth, was killed by the two Asps (now attached to Amospia by the hair) wielding Mosp's twin arm blades. The two Asps figured it would be confusing to continue to be referred to as "Asp" in this form and settled on a compromise: one would go by "Isp," and the other by "Osp." Thanks to the wizard's curse, neither of them acknowledged or even realized the third part to make up their body, and Mosp, unable to speak, remained silent for millennia.
- By the time the Dimension of Pain was first introduced, Isp and Osp had grown adjusted to their new body and were often deployed as witty comic relief. The two of them were sent to attack Torg during Halloween of 2001, but when Isp and Osp downed a bottle of Crystal's Turpenwine (resulting in the two getting hammered), Mosp temporarily gained control. Torg then broke the wizard's curse on her by asking for her name--she scratched it into the floor, and as Isp and Osp regained sobriety, the sun rose and Halloween ended. This resulted in a demonic trial for Isp, Osp and Mosp, presided by Horribus with Psyk acting as the trio's lawyer and Reakk on prosecution; it was during this short span that they gained their collective name of "Mospinispinosp." ;
- Mospinispinosp would serve one last big role during the storyline, That Which Redeems. Mosp not only helps Torg evade detection by Sweral and Tryka, but silences Isp and Osp by putting on clip-on-earrings that keep their jaws pressed shut. And in one last defining moment, Mosp attempts to kill Horribus so Torg can free the Goddess of Goodness from the Demon King's freezer, but she aimed just a little bit too high and missed Horribus' dark soul. Horribus then generated his aura of fire and used it to consume Mospinispinosp, despite Isp and Osps pleas for mercy and claims that they were "not with her". The fire burned all three until nothing remained but their skeleton, which Horribus manhandled and threw at the base of the Mountain of Bones which the Demon King's home sat upon. In fact, it is Mospinispinosp's death that drives Psyk to finally turn his back on Horribus in hopes of salvaging what he can in the Dimension of Lame. In the end, a card with Mosp's picture on it appeared in Alt-Gwynn's deck of Tarot cards, labelled "redemption".
- The Demon King
- Ruler and overlord of all realms overseen by the Dimension of Pain, The Demon King is a very large, very imposing figure made of something like living shadow. The Demon King founded the Dimension of Pain by defeating the Goddess of Goodness and sealing her away in a resealable plastic bag and placing it in the bottom of his freezer. The Demon King (usually) chooses the Demon Lords who rule the Dimension of Pain in his name; he has the ability to grant regular demons the requisite status of aristocracy, which turns them into larger, more 'demonic' versions of themselves. He's a godlike figure to the demons and does not often interact with them directly. He was recently injured and scarred by Chaz the talking sword as Torg made his escape from the Dimension of Pain once and for all. According to Chaz, it would be relatively easy for such a sword to kill an ethereal Demon King, and even coming in contact with the blade somewhat indirectly was enough to cause the injuries. His house rests on top of a large mountain of bones in the Elder Village, said to be the place where he fought the Goddess of Goodness. Aside from being absurdly large, his house looks like the average home found in suburbia, although his refrigerator—one of the kinds with vertical doors—has the freezer section on the wrong side. He also keeps demonic newspapers nearby, which contain comic strips such as "Garfield burns IN HEL!" and "Cathy burns IN HEL!" (sic)
- Horribus' younger, ambitious brother. After Horribus was banished to the surface for his failure to capture Torg at Halloween 2002, Terribus tried to become the new lord of the Dimension of Pain with various tactics. One transforms the realm into the "Demension of Joy" for a time. He has tried to conquer the Dimension of Grief He currently exists as part of "Jeruozplorter."
- Horribus' sister and Demon Lord of the Dimension of Grief. Had a relationship with Satan. Tried to conquer to Torg's dimension and failed. Horribus caused her to lose control of her own realm. Was impaled and currently exists as part of "Jeruozplorter."
Friends of the Cast
- Bert Benigni
- One of Torg's old college friends and an artist with an unhealthy obsession with crotches. Bert was one of the quirkier characters, largely due to his limited verbal range (often using just the words "bah!" and "crotch" to represent entire sentences), but he also had a very low alcohol tolerance, severe misogyny, and precognitive powers. Bert has had few shining moments—initially part of the original trip taken down to the backwater town of Wispydale, he was one of the five characters to survive the B-horror parody KITTEN, although at the price of his crotch (which got replaced with a baboon crotch transplant). He would later be possessed by the ghost of Brie Meighsaton, a long-dead bride and co-owner of the house Bert shared with Torg, Riff, Sasha and Angela.
- Bert met his untimely demise in a return to Wispydale, where he was kidnapped by the Arny, a group of faux-soldiers bent on controlling the satanic kittens. KITTEN II saw Bert die via decapitation when one of the kittens leaped at his head, knocking it clean off. His dying cry was "VIVA LA CROTCH!". Bert made a post-mortem return, coming back to the Meighsaton House as a ghost so that he could convince Torg to finish his masterpiece, a picture whose only missing part was "an irregularly shaped inverted triangly-thingy." Torg completes the picture at an arm's length, with his eyes closed, which grants Bert his final passage, but before he can rise up to heaven, he starts sinking into the kitchen floor. Bert spends most of the rest of the Kesandru's Well storyline stuck in the floor, and is almost saved by Sam and Beth from being sucked into the well itself as it teleports to hell, but he slipped out of Beth's grasp. When a hole opens from hell to heaven, allowing the ghosts to go free, Bert rose up from the well and was the last to leave alongside Beth. Cloaked like Obi-Wan Kenobi, his final words were "May the crotch be with you, always."
- Riff's previous girlfriend, who likes to play head games with people and as such was quite willing to go on dating him after finding out how messed up his relationship with women is. Recently, Monica has moved into the apartment above Torg and Riff, and has been revealed to be a member of Chilus/Meander's K'z'k cult. Killed by Oasis for wearing a Hereti-Corp baseball cap. Real name was Erin.
- Another of Riff's ex-girlfriends. Played the role of straight woman in Zoë's absence, although she was strangely accepting of the weird situations she often found herself in. She also seemed to have some of Riff's knack for inventing, though her inventions seemed to be far more reliable than his. She moved to Seattle in 2002. Her accomplishments during her time in the strip include helping to discover the origin of Zoë's necklace and inventing the Dimensional Flux Agitator's remote. Sasha returned recently to try to help Torg with his plans to track down Oasis.
- The Super Robot
- A giant heavily armed robot developed by Riff. It spends a good deal of its time as a disembodied arm that Riff works on, and the main chassis has gone through three known incarnations. The original incarnation was stolen by Bun-bun to rob banks. It was recovered and fell apart afterwards. The second incarnation was used to fight Oasis, although its twinkie-based weaponry was eaten by Kiki. The Mk III and IV were never seen, but close to where the Mk V was stored, the area was partially liquefied, But wen asked about that, Riff responded that he "Don't want to talk about that." (this gag was repeated in the introduction of Mk 19, though Riff mentions that Mk 17 gets eaten by a bear because it was made of cheese.). The Mk V was developed for the purpose of fighting the K'Z'K-possessed Gwynn, and was made autonomous by its AI, which used an old See'n'Say. Later, the Mk V was used to infiltrate Hereti-Corp with Oasis. During the fighting at AyleeOrgNet. Com, it was destroyed by Killum's Sonic Blast.
- Unholy Evil Death Bringer
- Torg's sentient sword. It is also known as "Weeping God" and "Chaz". It can speak when "charged" with innocent blood (often starting with the oft times comically inappropriate "Hello, master. Who shall we kill today?"), and claims the ability to kill "most things that can be killed" when in its charged state. It was forged at an undetermined date by a blacksmith named "Bob." Through the ages, it has served many masters, including a madman out to atone for past sins through a genocidal crusade, and a friend of the madman who killed him and took the sword. It was acquired by Warlord Torgamus by unknown means, then Torg, after being accidentally blasted into the past, took the sword with him to the present. The sword was used mostly as a joke (Torg even used it to threaten a centipede), but Torg learned of its power when the Dimension of Lame's Bert accidentally impaled himself on it and Torg killed a demon with it.
In Sluggy there is a physical being who runs each holiday, including Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Groundhog Shadow. Bun-Bun holds a long-standing grudge particularly against Santa, which has culminated every Christmas.
All holidays have some control over their own relation to time, and determine the traditions observed during their holiday. The cooperation of several holidays is required to fully rewrite the rules. Destroying a holiday transfers the duties to the killer, if the killer claims them, a process known as the right of caste.
- Santa Claus
- The patron of Christmas. Along with his other obligations, he was the only being with the power to use the Three Deus Ex Ovums before Bun-bun stole that privilege by killing him. He has had a long-standing feud with Bun-bun, though the details are unclear. It is known, however, that many years past he used the Ovum on Bun-bun and threw him out of time. Bun-bun was left with partial amnesia after he escaped, but nevertheless tried to kill Claus every year for several years afterwards. In 1999, Bun-bun's Furby bomb destroyed Santa's workshop. After failing to kill him with his Mecha Easter Bunny, Santa cloistered himself away in a space station. While in space, he was infected with a mutagenic spore which turned him into an alien vulnerable only to Nerf weapons. He was killed by Bun-bun in 2003, and then resurrected, sans alien DNA, when the Deus Ex Ovum was used later that year. In 2006, Bun-bun fired Kiki at his sleigh, causing presents to fall all over the highway. However, given that Bun-bun knows that killing Santa can make him Santa Claus, and doubts whether Santa banished him before, what he will do in the future is unknown.
- Mrs. Claus
- Santa's wife. She often leads in the absence of her husband. After Santa became an alien, she took the duty of organizing the holidays to combat Bun-Bun. She was captured when Bun-Bun took Thanksgiving. Bun-Bun's Shadow, solidified by Bun-Bun's newfound holiday strength, catapulted her into orbit. She was returned when the Ovum was used.
- The Elves
- Elves come in multiple varieties, depending on their job; Christmas elves work under Santa, while the Neebler elves bake cookies (see: Keebler). The Black Op elves run the massive intelligence agency which Santa uses to determine his naughty/nice list. After Santa turned into an alien, Bun-Bun took over a section of the agency, led by Squishydodo, and used them as (rather incompetent) lackeys for multiple purposes, including the defeat of the alien Santa. Other important elves include Squeekybobo and Slappyhoho.
- Mutagenic Spore Aliens
- Not intrinsically connected with any holiday but appearing only during holiday stories, the unnamed spores have the power to reconstruct their victims at a genetic level, turning them into monsters under their control. Their infections first manifest as an apparent "disease" before the victim becomes a zombie-like creature. As the victim's DNA degenerates, they occasionally become able to shapeshift. Eventually, they succumb and become monstrous aliens. A substance known as RSR ("Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots") Gas forces immediate resolution, transforming an infectee instantly into either an alien or a normal creature depending on the progression of the infection. As they are immune to all weapons except explosives and Nerf, the aliens assumed Santa was Earth's main weapons distributor and infected him while he was in space. As Santa, even in his alien state, was bound by the laws of the holidays, they infected Jack Frost in hopes of spreading their spores via snowfall. Shortly before Bun-Bun attacked Thanksgiving, the alien Santa ate all other aliens to absorb their power for the upcoming fight. As the spores only managed to infect holiday beings, they were all destroyed as the Deus Ex Ovum cured their victims.
Podunkton is a small community in Pennsylvania featured in the bonus story for Dangerous Days Ahead and for Phoenix Rising. Oasis serves as the town's vigilante, having killed Jeremiah Finster and his fellow syndicate members, and killing other criminals.
- Oasis's sensei, whom she freed from Jeremiah Finster. He asks her questions about her past; while she is able to talk about Dr. Steve and her battle against Hereti-Corp relatively easily, she is still unable to answer his questions about Torg. He has a philosophy that involves Pizza Rolls as the path to enlightenment. Subsequently murdered by Kusari on Schlock's orders.
Vampires in the Sluggy Universe are organized into circles, each led by a master. The members of each Circle have their own free will to a point, but a higher-ranking vampire can override this. The method varies somewhat between circles. Vampires have many weaknesses that vary from circle to circle - Vykrolak vampires are instantly killed by stakes, while Lysinda vampires are merely incapacitated. A potentially common trait is that they recover energy by sleeping on their native soil.
The Lysinda Circle Vampires
The Lysinda Circle was a powerful and highly respected group of vampires that had existed for an immeasurably long time. It takes several days to create a new Lysinda Vampire; the potential convert must be bitten for three consecutive nights then made to drink vampire blood. These vampires have many weaknesses, including holy symbols and the inability to enter homes without invitations. However, they can only be killed permanently by either exposing them to direct sunlight or stuffing their severed heads with garlic. Stakes can temporarily put them out of action, but once the stake is removed, the vampire is fully restored.
The circle turned Sam, and intended to turn Torg and Zoë before Riff rescued them and destroyed nearly all the vampires. Sam Sein is the only surviving Lysinda Circle vampire; he renamed it the Sam Cirkhail Mamajama when this was pointed out to him.
- Lady Valerie
- A Lysinda circle vampire and one of Torg's love interests from the past. Originally, Valerie was a queen back in the middle ages, but after the death of her husband Lord Torgamous, she despaired and the vampire queen Lysinda offered to turn her into a vampire. In the present, she posed as Sam's wife to help search for people to induct into the Lysinda Circle, and instantly felt a bond for Torg, given his similarity to her dead husband.
- Torg had always felt a certain attraction to Valerie, and he had actually been somewhat happy to become a vampire with her, but when it came time to choose between eternal life with Valerie or the lives of his friends, Torg impaled Valerie with a stake. Valerie whispered her thanks before going unconscious, and died with the rest of the vampires that dawn. Later, Torg met her again when he travelled into the past and posed as her husband, the Warlord Torgamous (Valerie knew about this; it was the peasantry he was trying to fool).
- A vampire queen and creator of the Lysinda Circle of Vampires. She was directly responsible for turning Sam and Valerie into vampires and attempted to turn Torg and Zoë as well. She is incredibly powerful: she easily slew a horde of K'Z'K's Deadels that came too close to Valerie in Mercia. She was eventually staked by Zoë during Riff's invasion of the dungeon, after everyone except her was knocked unconscious- she rejected Lysinda's offer of vampirism, and took the initiative when Bun-bun distracted Lysinda. Lysinda died along with the others when the sun rose. She later appeared in the "Meanwhile in the Dimension Of..." side-stories, where she had entered into a relationship with Satan.
Other minor characters
- Dr. Lorna
- Riff's biological mother; a radio personality who once employed Gwynn and Zoë, similar to Dr. Laura Schlesinger (however, she appears notably younger—Zoë notes that she must have given birth to Riff at a relatively young age). She enjoys insulting her callers on her show, and puts down Riff's father and stepmother. She has remarried, and her husband has a young son (incidentally, this violates Dr. Laura's advice that parents not remarry until their children are 18).
- Dr. Lorna disowns Riff after Bun-bun and Kiki use a mechanical replica of himself to pretend that he attended her party, allowing him to spend time with his friends. After she fired Gwynn when she'd been possessed by a demon and Zoë for being friends with her, she has had no further role in the strip beyond cameos.
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