Cockneys vs Zombies

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Cockneys vs Zombies
Cockneys vs zombies poster.jpg
Theatrical teaser poster
Directed by Matthias Hoene
Produced by
  • James Harris
  • Mark Lane
  • Matthias Hoene
Written by
Based on an idea
by Matthias Hoene
Music by Jody Jenkins
Cinematography Daniel Bronks
Edited by
  • Neil Farrell
  • John Palmer
  • Limelight
  • Molinare
  • Tea Shop & Film Company
Distributed by
Release date
Running time
87 minutes[1]
Country United Kingdom
Language English
Budget £2.25 million
Box office $109,518 (worldwide)[2]

Cockneys vs Zombies is a 2012 British zombie comedy film directed by Matthias Hoene and written by James Moran and Lucas Roche. The plot centres on a group of Cockneys who arm themselves to rescue their grandfather and his friends from their retirement home as a zombie apocalypse takes place in the East End of London.


In a building site being developed by Hartman Construction in the East End of London, two builders discover a 17th-century graveyard ordered sealed by Charles II. When they enter to search for treasure, they are bitten by zombies, setting off a zombie outbreak in the area.

Elsewhere, Terry MacGuire and his younger brother Andy have planned a bank robbery so they can save their grandfather Ray's retirement home from being demolished. They recruit their cousin Katy, hopeless Davey Tuppence, "Mental" Mickey, an unstable war veteran who has a metal plate in his forehead, and a large supply of weapons. During the robbery, the group finds they have crashed an embezzlement deal between the bank manager and the head of Hartman Construction. Expecting to find a few hundred grand, they find themselves staring at 2.5 million in cash. The bank manager had thought they were from Hartman due to their costumes, but quickly realises otherwise and presses an emergency button to summon the police. With the bank surrounded, Mickey takes charge of the escape plan and takes bank workers Emma and Clive hostage. However, upon attempting leaving the bank, the group finds the police have been killed by a growing horde of zombies. They escape in their van with the cash from the vault.

Meanwhile, at the retirement home, the zombies attack the residence. Ray and residents Peggy, former gangster Daryl, Doreen and Eric take refuge in the kitchen; Ray also rescues a resident named Hamish and gets him inside.

The MacGuires, Katy, Mickey, Davey and their hostages drive through a devastated East End until they reach their safe-house where they stowed their car earlier. Mickey is bitten by a zombie, and the group finds out from the radio about the extent of the epidemic but don't know what to do with themselves. Emma pleads with Mickey and Davey to let her and Clive go, saying she does not care about their 'selfish' plans, and Katy tells her they are not robbing the bank for themselves, but to save the retirement home.

Mickey, growing more irrational and tired of the friendliness of his fellow bank robbers, decides to leave and takes Emma and Clive with him to a side-room where he ties them up, and sits down to rest. Soon after, Mickey dies and turns into a zombie. Realising shooting him in the head is failing to kill Mickey, Terry destroys him with a hand-grenade he confiscated earlier. In the subsequent confusion, Clive picks up Mickey's gun and insists on handing the group over to the police. However, he is promptly attacked and eaten by zombies, and reflexively shoots Davey dead by accident in the process.

The group pack the money and themselves into Terry's waiting car, intending to travel to the retirement home, but on the way stop to look for Emma's younger sister. Terry and Emma find her as a zombie, but Emma decides not to kill her in case a cure is found. They set off again, deciding to arm themselves at Mickey's gun cache. However, the group realise the car is inadequate for ferrying the pensioners, so Katy hot-wires a traditional red London double-decker bus.

Arriving at the care home, they manage to break the zombie siege and rescue Ray and the other surviving residents. They all escape aboard the bus, but it breaks down before it can reach safety and the group are forced to abandon it. Realising they are close to the river, they head off to find a boat. They make their way to a mooring and find a boat which Peggy finds the keys for, but realise as they try to pull away, it is still chained up. Ray decides to sacrifice himself to save the others, but he still manages to survive and joins the others on the boat as they make their final escape. On the river, the group wonder what will happen next; Ray tells them they can take East London back for themselves.


Cast Notes[edit]

Cockneys vs Zombies would prove to be the final film credit for Briers, who died the following year.

Production and release[edit]

The film premiered at the 2012 London FrightFest Film Festival. It was released on Blu-ray and DVD on September 3, 2013 by Shout Factory! as part of their Scream Factory line up. It has a 20-minute behind-the-scenes featurette, a video to teach the extras how to act like a zombie, and the trailer.


The film was received mostly positively by critics. As of April 2014, it holds a Rotten Tomatoes rating of 70%, based on 46 reviews.[3]


  1. ^ "Cockneys vs Zombies". British Board of Film Classification. Retrieved December 30, 2012.
  2. ^ "Cockneys vs Zombies (2012) - Box Office/Business". 
  3. ^ "Cockneys vs Zombies (2012)". Rotten Tomatoes. Retrieved June 16, 2013. 

External links[edit]