Customs and etiquette in Chinese dining
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Customs and etiquette in Chinese dining are the traditional behaviors observed while eating in Greater China. Traditional Han customs have spread throughout East Asia to varying degrees, with some regions sharing a few aspects of formal dining, which has ranged from guest seating to paying the bill.
Table and place settings
In most traditional Chinese dining, dishes are shared communally. Although both square and rectangular tables are used for small groups of people, round tables are preferred for large groups, particularly in restaurants, in order to permit easy sharing. Lazy Susan turntables are a common feature at the center of larger tables, to facilitate passing of serving dishes. A basic place setting consists of a small teacup; a large plate with a small, empty rice bowl; a set of chopsticks, usually on the right of the plate; and a spoon. Additions may include a chopstick holder; a large water or wine glass; and a smaller glass for baijiu. At homes and low-end restaurants, napkins may consist of tissues or occasionally must be provided by the dinner. High restaurants often provide cloth napkins similar to western dining as part of the place settings. Also remember to spin the turntable clockwise.
Formal seating order
There is a specific seating order to every formal dinner, based on seniority and organizational hierarchy. The seat of honor, reserved for the host or oldest person, is usually the one in the center facing east or facing the entrance. Others with higher status then sit in close proximity to the seat of honor, while those with lower positions sit further away. The least prominent seat is generally the one nearest to the kitchen entrance or service door.
Wide variations exist throughout China, but the vast majority of full-course dinners are very similar in terms of timing and dishes.
Snacks are the first items presented. Two or more small dishes are brought to the table, holding boiled unsalted peanuts, salted roasted peanuts, or similar dishes. These may be consumed while ordering, or while waiting for other dishes to arrive.
Tea is almost always provided, either in advance of the diners being seated or immediately afterward. It can be consumed at leisure throughout the meal. (Water is sometimes served, but tea is the default beverage.) A verbal "thank you" (谢谢; xiexie) may be offered to the server pouring the refill or, if in the middle of a conversation where it would be rude to interrupt the speaker, the table may be tapped twice with two bent fingers instead.
This typically consists of many dishes, usually roughly one dish per person. White rice is provided in small bowls and food is often consumed over it, flavoring it with their sauces. The rice is consumed little by little along with the other dishes and not separately, unless the diner remains hungry after the last dish has been removed.
A soup may also be served as one of the dishes. At small meals, especially at home, it may replace the diners' beverage entirely.
Manners and customs
Proper etiquette is very important to traditional Chinese people, who feel good manners invite luck, and boorish conduct brings shame. Although many Maoist programs aimed to curtail traditional social practices, today table etiquette is again taken as an indication of educational status, so that (for example) a child misusing their chopsticks at a formal dinner might embarrass their family, who are responsible for teaching the child.
It is considered rude and unhygienic for a diner to use his or her own chopsticks to pick up food from communal bowls and plates when such utensils are present. Other potentially rude behaviors with chopsticks include playing with them, separating them in any way (such as holding one in each hand), piercing food with them, or standing them vertically in a plate of food. (The latter is especially rude, evoking images of incense or 'joss' sticks used ceremoniously at funerals). A rice bowl may be lifted with one hand to scoop rice into the mouth with chopsticks. It is also considered rude to look for a piece one would prefer on the plate instead of picking up the piece that is closest to the diner as symbol of fairness and sharing to the others.
The last piece of food on a communal dish is never served to oneself without asking for permission. When offered the last bit of food, it is considered rude to refuse the offer. It is considered virtuous for diners to not leave any bit of food on their plates or bowls. Condiments, such as soy sauce or duck sauce, may not be routinely provided at high-quality restaurants. The assumption is that perfectly prepared food needs no condiments and the quality of the food can be best appreciated.
Although individual households may have their own house rules, the Chinese traditions used to welcome guests are largely the same throughout the country. There are common rules for inviting guests over. In general, eating in the Chinese Culture is a communal activity. Unlike Western Culture, the main dishes are ordered to the center of the table, and are shared by all the participants. Each participant receives a bowl of rice and adds on top from the main dishes.
Water and other non-alcoholic beverages may be consumed at any time. However, in formal settings, alcohol should be consumed during toasts. A modest toast may be followed by a single sip of wine or swallow of beer, but a baijiu toast is often ended with Ganbei! (干杯): an exhortation to drain the glass. Ideally, glasses are refilled immediately following a toast in preparation for the next.
A Lazy Susan is a circular rotating tray placed at the center of a table and used to easily share a large number of dishes among the diners. A Lazy Susan can be made from many materials, but most often they are constructed of glass, wood, or plastic.
It is typical for all the dishes for a course to be brought out together and placed around the Lazy Susan. If the dishes come out one at a time or if there is some special delicacy, they are typically served to the guest of honor first and then rotated clockwise around the table. The host will often wait to serve himself last. Dishes should typically not be removed from the Lazy Susan and placed on the table: at most, one should hold the dish aloft while serving and then return it to its place on the tray.
One should try to avoid moving the Lazy Susan even slightly when someone is in the act of transferring food from the dishes to their plate or bowl. Likewise, it is impolite to hoard or use up all of a dish until it has been offered to everyone and the other diners clearly do not care for it. For this reason, it is common to take a smaller amount from the dishes on the first round and to keep the other diners in mind when taking a larger second helping.
Since chopsticks (and spoons) are used in place of forks and knives, Chinese cuisine tends to serve dishes in bite-size pieces or employ cooking techniques that render dishes such as fish or hong shao rou soft enough to be picked apart easily. Some common etiquette is:
- Chopsticks should always be the same length and held so that the ends are even, a practice popularly explained as due to the former use of uneven boards (三長兩短) in Chinese coffins.
- Similarly, do not leave chopsticks sticking upright out of dishes, owing to a Chinese practice of leaving such dishes for the dead, and visual similarity to burning incense for the dead.
- Do not chew on the ends of chopsticks, even if they are plastic.
- Chopsticks are not used to move bowls or plates.
- Do not bang your chopsticks as though you were playing a drum. It implies you are a beggar or a child.
- Treat chopsticks as extension of your fingers. It is impolite to use them to point at other people or to wave chopsticks around.
- Unless they are disposable, chopsticks will be washed and reused. Consequently, don't use them to pick at your teeth or for other unseemly endeavors.
- Avoid spearing food with the chopsticks.
- One should not 'dig' or 'search' through one's food for something in particular. This is sometimes known as "digging one's grave" or "grave-digging" and is extremely poor manners.
- When not in use, and if the restaurant provides them, place the front end of the chopsticks on the chopstick rests. These are usually small ceramic rests placed near your napkin on the right hand side of your bowl.
- Both hands should be above the table even when the left hand is not holding a utensil. For right-handed people who hold chopsticks in their right hand, their left hands either hold down the bowl on the table, or pick it up so that it is near the mouth. It is considered rude to leave the left hands on their laps, although exceptions are sometimes made when eating from a plate.
At most formal meals, there are likely pairs of communal serving chopsticks (公筷, gongkuai). These are sets of chopsticks specifically for shared dishes only. Often, these will be distinct from the putongkuai (regular chopsticks) in that they will be longer and more ornate. There will sometimes be one set of communal chopsticks per dish or one set per course. The ratio varies. If there are no gongkuai set on the table, it is never rude to request that they be provided. People will just think that you are a stickler for formality and good manners.
In most restaurants in Chinese countries, there is no tip required unless it is explicitly posted. Usually, if there is a tip required, it will already be on the bill. In Chinese restaurants in North America though, tips are usually expected, as is customary elsewhere.
It is a common sight for families to fight for the bill, as paying the bill symbolizes generosity and sincerity.
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