Dating coach

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Dating coaches offer coaching and related products and services to improve their clients' success in dating and relationships. Through discussion, role-playing, behaviour modelling, and other forms of direction, a dating coach trains clients to meet and attract romantic partners. Dating coaches may focus on topics important to the art of dating: interpersonal skills, flirting, psychology, sociology, compatibility, fashion and recreational activities. As dating coaches are unlicensed, their methods vary widely.


Dating coaches offer a wide range of services, such as electronic books and newsletters, personal coaching, small group seminars, and weekend workshops. One-on-one coaching can involve counselling and in-the-field coaching,[1] which can involve practising flirting[2] or going out with a coach of the sex the client is attracted to on a mock date and being critiqued throughout the date.[3] They are distinct from matchmakers because they coach people on finding their own dates whereas matchmakers arrange dates for their clients.[2] Coaching styles and programmes differ from provider to provider, and may include advice on the art of conversation, pickup lines, how to dress, appropriate forms of touch, the science of love, and anything else that may improve dating prospects.[4] Others provide guidance on how to date multiple people simultaneously, without getting caught.[5] Common elements of dating coaches' tips include the need to decide what you are looking for and remain positive.[2]

Some dating coaches specialise in helping with online dating.[6]

Dating seminars[edit]

Dating seminars are taught by coaches working for commercial dating companies. In these seminars, coaches teach participants to meet romantic partners. Sometimes dating coaches take the clients out in public to help the clients approach and seduce women.[1] This method of teaching is heavily linked to the seduction community and the companies which cater to it. Most times, dating coaches introduce dating techniques like approaching in the crowd, non-verbal body signal interpretation, and transparency in interpersonal communicative acts. [7]

Different dating seminars can take vastly different approaches to the subject. Christian dating seminars, for example, may stress differences between love and lust and knowing one's own self-worth.[8] Muslim dating seminars may also deal with how to find a mate without compromising religious principles.[9]


Dating coaching is often stigmatised. Many people believe that teaching romance is demeaning and unethical, while many others believe it is impossible. These critics acknowledge that most people seek romantic advice, but argue that professional romantic coaching differs from amateur advice in scope and context.[10] Others feel[who?] that dating presents challenges unsuited to amateur intervention, and that chaotic dating norms and mixed social messages necessitate some form of instruction. Further, they feel that personal romantic barriers differ from other sorts of personal barriers so that coaching can be uniquely fruitful.[11] Moreover, many argue that changing social norms have been particularly challenging for men. Because many economic and social obstacles to relationship dissolution have been eroded, sex appeal and relationship smarts may be necessary to compensate for devalued traditional traits, such as a strong work ethic or good and stable income.[12]

There is evidence that the stigma against dating coaches is weakening.[13] Both the film Hitch (featuring Will Smith) and the reality TV show The Pick-up Artist indicate a growing awareness of the presence of dating coaches in society and their function. They could be consciously or subconsciously using women for entertainment purposes.[14]

See also[edit]


  1. ^ a b "Frustrated singles turn to professional help". NBC News. 12 July 2006. Retrieved 30 December 2017.
  2. ^ a b c Ellin, Abby (2007-09-27). "The Dating Coach Is In ($125/Hour)". The New York Times. Retrieved 2010-05-01.
  3. ^ "Experiential Gifts Create a Can-Do Spirit". Washington Post. 16 December 2013. Retrieved 30 December 2017.
  4. ^ "New Bravo series examines making matches for rich men - Detroit Free Press". Archived from the original on 24 January 2016. Retrieved 30 December 2017.
  5. ^ "A girl in every borough". 8 July 2011. Retrieved 30 December 2017.
  6. ^ Alsever, Jennifer (2007-03-11). "In the Computer Dating Game, Room for a Coach". The New York Times. Retrieved 2014-01-14.
  7. ^ "Can a Dating Coach Help You Find Your Soul Mate?". 10 Dec 2018. Retrieved 11 November 2019.
  8. ^ Brown, Akeyla (2006-01-30). "Christian Dating Seminar". Archived from the original on 2009-01-23.[full citation needed]
  9. ^ MacFarquhar, Neil (2006-09-19). "It's Muslim Boy Meets Girl, but Don't Call It Dating". New York Times. Retrieved 2010-05-01.
  10. ^ "Ezra Klein". The American Prospect. Archived from the original on 10 August 2011. Retrieved 30 December 2017.
  11. ^ Westport Minuteman – Dating coaches spur serious relationships Archived 2007-05-09 at the Wayback Machine
  12. ^ State of Our Unions 2007 Archived 2009-01-08 at the Wayback Machine
  13. ^ Angelowicz, Ami (March 15, 2010). "Dating coach's 8 top tips". CNN. Retrieved November 17, 2013.
  14. ^ Why Isn't He Asking You Out? Archived 2015-04-06 at the Wayback Machine Ashley Papa, FOX News Magazine, February 19, 2015.