Ruth Westheimer

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Ruth Westheimer
Dr. Ruth Westheimer by David Shankbone.jpg
Westheimer in May 2008
Born Karola Ruth Siegel
(1928-06-04) June 4, 1928 (age 88)
Wiesenfeld (Karlstadt), Germany
Residence Washington Heights, Manhattan
Other names Dr. Ruth
Citizenship American, German
Alma mater Ed.D. in Education, Teachers College, Columbia University, 1970
Master of Arts in Sociology, The New School, 1959
Spouse(s) Manfred "Fred" Westheimer (her 3rd, 1961–1997; his death; 2 children)
Children Miriam, Joel

Ruth Westheimer (born June 4, 1928), better known as Dr. Ruth, is an American sex therapist, media personality, and author. The New York Times described her as a "Sorbonne-trained psychologist who became a kind of cultural icon in the 1980s.… She ushered in the new age of freer, franker talk about sex on radio and television—and was endlessly parodied for her limitless enthusiasm and for having an accent only a psychologist could have."[1]

Early life and education[edit]

Westheimer was born Karola Ruth Siegel on June 4, 1928, in Wiesenfeld (near Karlstadt am Main), Germany, the only child of Orthodox Jews Irma (née Hanauer), a housekeeper and Julius Siegel, a notions wholesaler and son of the family in which Irma worked.[2] By her father, she was given an early grounding in Judaism, taking her regularly to the synagogue in Frankfurt, where they lived. In January 1939, she was sent to Switzerland by her mother and grandmother as part of the Kindertransport after her father had been taken by the Nazis.[3][4][5] Her safe haven, along with that of some 100 other German-Jewish children, was made possible by Swiss activist Franzisca Goldschmidt (see 2014 event below).[6] In Switzerland, young Karola came of age in an orphanage, and stopped receiving her parents' letters in September 1941. In 1945, Westheimer learned that her parents had been killed in the Holocaust, possibly at the Auschwitz concentration camp.[4][5][7]

Westheimer decided to emigrate to British-controlled Mandatory Palestine. There, at 17, she "first had sexual intercourse on a starry night, in a haystack without contraception." She later told The New York Times that "I am not happy about that, but I know much better now and so does everyone who listens to my radio program."[5] Westheimer joined the Haganah in Jerusalem. Because of her diminutive height of 4 ft 7 in (1.40 m),[5] she was trained as a scout and sniper.[3] Of this experience, she said, "I never killed anybody, but I know how to throw hand grenades and shoot."[8] Westheimer was seriously wounded in action by an exploding shell during the Israeli War of Independence in 1948, and it was several months before she was able to walk again.[4][9]

In 1950, Westheimer moved to France, where she studied and then taught psychology at the University of Paris. In 1956, she immigrated to the United States, settling in Washington Heights, Manhattan.[10][11] Westheimer earned an M.A. degree in sociology from The New School in 1959[12] and an Ed.D. degree from Teachers College, Columbia University in 1970.[13]

Westheimer became a naturalized U.S. citizen in 1965.[14] She regained her German citizenship in 2012 through the German Citizenship Project that enabled descendents of Germans deprived of their citizenship during the Third Reich to reclaim their citizenship without losing the citizenship of their home country.[15]

Early career[edit]

After receiving her Ed.D., she briefly worked for Planned Parenthood and this experience encouraged her to continue studying human sexuality. She went on to work as a postdoctoral researcher for Helen Singer Kaplan at New York-Presbyterian Hospital.[4] She continued to work there as an Adjunct Associate Professor for five years. She also taught at Lehman College, Brooklyn College, Adelphi University, Columbia University and West Point.[16]

Media career[edit]

In 1980, WYNY-FM was NBC Radio's New York City owned-and-operated station. The struggling Adult Contemporary station had recently gone through a makeover in an attempt to build an audience. Part of this rebuild was adding specialized talk shows to the evening and weekend hours. Maurice Tunick was recruited from New York's leading talk station, WOR, where he was talk show producer. As WYNY's Program Coordinator he was responsible for developing new talk shows.

Betty Elam was WYNY's Community Affairs Manager. Her job was to work closely with community groups and the station's public affairs programming. After attending a New York Market Radio (NYMRAD) convention at which Westheimer was a speaker, she was taken with Westheimer's passion, information, sense of humor, and personality and suggested that WYNY do something with her. She made two appearances as a guest on a taped Sunday morning public affairs program. WYNY's General Manager, Dan Griffin, then suggested that Tunick find a way to develop a public affairs show for her.

The show was assigned 15 minutes beginning at midnight on Sunday nights. Being a novice in radio, Westheimer thought it would be a good idea to have guests covering urology, neurology, gynecology, etc.—all areas which could have an effect on sexual activity. While that would be important, Tunick thought a better show would be to not have guests at all but to directly answer listeners' questions. NBC was reluctant to allow live phone calls for a sex advice show, which was considered very risqué in the early 1980s, but Tunick suggested soliciting questions via mail. Westheimer could then control the questions and read them on the air with her answers. Typically each question began with, "I have a letter from a listener who asks..."

The show, Sexually Speaking, using the name "Dr. Ruth", was taped at NBC's studios at 30 Rockefeller Plaza on Thursday mornings at 11:00 a.m. for airing on Sunday nights at midnight.[17][18] All NBC studios at 30 Rock were accessible from other studios and many offices around the building. A couple of weeks into recording, it was reported that work was stopping in many places in the building on Thursdays at 11 as people were gathering to hear this "cross between Henry Kissinger and Minnie Mouse", as The Wall Street Journal would later describe her.

After two months the show was expanded to an hour and went live, with Westheimer taking phone calls with a 7-second digital delay. Within a year Westheimer had a larger audience on Sunday night at midnight on this struggling station than many New York stations had in morning drive-time. She became known for being candid and funny, but respectful, and for her tag phrase, "Get some".[19][20]

As "Dr. Ruth", Westheimer became nationally known after several appearances on Late Night with David Letterman in the early 1980s. In less than two years, Dr. Ruth became a household name and was being heard on radio stations across the country. Her pioneering TV show, also called Sexually Speaking, first aired in 1982 as a 15-minute taped show on Lifetime Cable. It has since increased in popularity and has been nationally syndicated, as has her radio show. During this era, she also made frequent appearances on the syndicated revival of Hollywood Squares that ran from 1986 to 1989.

In 1993, Westheimer (alongside the Israeli TV host Arad Nir) hosted a talk show in Hebrew, titled Min Tochnit, on the newly opened Israeli Channel 2. The show was similar to her US Sexually Speaking show. The name of the show, Min Tochnit, is a play of words: literally "Kind of a program", but "Min" (מין) in Hebrew also means "sex" and "gender".

In recent years, Westheimer has made regular appearances on the PBS Television children's show Between the Lions as "Dr. Ruth Wordheimer" in a parody of her therapist role, in which she helps anxious readers and spellers overcome their fear of long words. She also made a cameo on PBS's Dinosaur Train as an Archeopteryx.

Westheimer appeared as herself in episode 89 of Quantum Leap, the episode title being "Dr. Ruth". She appeared on Tom Chapin's album This Pretty Planet, in the song "Two Kinds of Seagulls", in which she and Chapin sing of various animals that reproduce sexually. "It takes two to tingle", says the song.

As marketers took "sex sells" literally, Westheimer appeared in commercials for the Honda Prelude, circa 1993 ending with "My advice to you is, 'Get a Prelude.'"[21][22]

Westheimer also worked as a spokeswoman for Clairol Herbal Essences shampoo and body wash, depicting a comical side to her work as a sex therapist. The commercials usually featured a woman imagining that she was using the shampoo on her hair, apparently receiving some sexual charge from it. When the woman snapped back to reality, Westheimer was standing next to her, stating that if the woman liked the shampoo, she should try the body wash as well.

In the January 2009 55th anniversary issue of Playboy, Westheimer appears as #13 in the list of the 55 most important people in sex from the past 55 years. In October 2013, the play Becoming Dr. Ruth opened off Broadway. Actress Debra Jo Rupp played the role of Dr. Ruth. The play showcased the sex therapist's life from fleeing the Nazis in the Kindertransport and joining the Haganah in Jerusalem as a scout and sniper, to her struggles to succeed as a single mother coming to America.[23] In September and October, 2014, Eileen DeSandre played Dr. Ruth in the Virginia Repertory Theatre production of Becoming Dr. Ruth.[24][25]

Westheimer has given commencement speeches at the Hebrew Union College seminary, Lehman College of the City University of New York, and, in 2004, at Trinity College.[26] She also taught courses and seminars at Princeton and Yale,[26] and was the guest speaker at the Bronx High School of Science in New York in commemoration of Yom HaShoah 2008. Westheimer spoke about her life story and the audience of 500 sang "Happy Birthday" in honor of her 80th birthday. At the ceremony she received an honorary Bronx High School of Science diploma. In 2008, she was awarded an Honorary Doctorate by Westfield State College. In 2002, she received the Leo Baeck Medal for her humanitarian work promoting tolerance and social justice.


Dr. Ruth Westheimer in 2009.

Westheimer has been married three times.[9] She said that each of her marriages played an important role in her relationship advice, but after two divorces, it was her third marriage, to Manfred Westheimer, that was the "real marriage."[8] This lasted until his death in 1997. She has two children, Miriam and Joel, and several grandchildren.[8] In December 2014, Westheimer was a guest at an Orthodox Jewish wedding in the Bronx, NY. The groom, Rabbi Benjamin Goldschmidt, is the great-grandson of the woman who had helped rescue Westheimer from Nazi Germany.[6] She still lives in the "cluttered three-bedroom apartment in Washington Heights where she raised her two children and became famous, in that order."[27][28] Because of the two synagogues she belongs to, the YMHA she was president of for three years, and a "still sizable community of German Jewish World War II refugees", she remains in the neighborhood.[10] She speaks English, German, French, and Hebrew.


  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (1983). Dr.Ruth's Guide to Good Sex. New York City: Warner Books. ISBN 978-0446512602. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Kravetz, Nathan (1985). First Love: A Young People's Guide to Sexual Information. New York City: Warner Books. ISBN 978-0446340922. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (1986). Dr. Ruth's Guide for Married Lovers. New York City: Warner Books. ISBN 978-0446512824. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (1987). Dr. Ruth's Guide to Good Sex. London, England: W.H. Allen / Virgin Books. ISBN 978-0491033770. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (1988). All in a Lifetime: An Autobiography. New York City: Grand Central Publishing. ISBN 978-0446347747. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Lieberman, Louis (1988). Sex and Morality: Who Is Teaching Our Sex Standards. San Diego, California: Harcourt. ISBN 978-0151813902. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Lieberman, Louis (1992). Dr. Ruth's Guide to Erotic and Sensuous Pleasures. Spi Books Trade. ISBN 978-1561710355. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (1992). Dr Ruth"s Guide to Safer Sex. London: Boxtree. ISBN 978-1852834302. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (1993). Dr. Ruth Talks to Kids. New York City: Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing. ISBN 978-0027925326. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (1994). Dr. Ruth's Encyclopedia of Sex. New York City: Continuum Int'l Publishing Group. ISBN 978-0826406255. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (1995). Sex For Dummies. Boston: IDG Books. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Mark, Jonathan (1996). Heavenly Sex: Sexuality in the Jewish Tradition. New York City: Bloomsbury Academic. ISBN 978-0826409041. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Yagoda, Ben (1997). The Value of Family: A Blueprint for the 21st Century. New York City: Grand Central Publishing. ISBN 978-0446673365. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Kaplan, Steven (1998). Grandparenthood. (1st ed.). Abingdon-on-Thames: Routledge. ISBN 978-0415919487. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2000). The Art of Arousal: A Celebration of Erotic Art throughout History. Lanham, Maryland: Madison Books. ISBN 978-1568331676. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2000). Dr. Ruth's Guide to College Life: The Savvy Student's Handbook. Lanham, Maryland: Madison Books. ISBN 978-1568331713. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2000). Encyclopedia of Sex. (2nd ed.). New York City: Bloomsbury Academic. ISBN 978-0826412409. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2000). Sex For Dummies (Miniature Editions for Dummies). Philadelphia: Running Press. ISBN 978-0762407507. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2001). All in a Lifetime: An Autobiography. New York City: Grand Central Publishing. ISBN 978-0446677615. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Allen, Joy (2001). Dr. Ruth: Grandma on Wheels. New York City: Little Golden Books. ISBN 978-0307982391. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Pearson, Tracey Campbell; Lehu, Pierre A. (2001). Dr. Ruth Talks about Grandparents: Advice for Kids on Making the Most of a Special Relationship. New York City: Madison Books. ISBN 978-1568331805. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Kaplan, Steven (2001). Power: The Ultimate Aphrodisiac. Lanham, Maryland: Madison Books. ISBN 978-1568332307. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2001). Rekindling Romance for Dummies - Conversation Cards. Canoga Park, California: Hungry Mind, Inc. ISBN 978-1890760533. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2001). Romance For Dummies (Miniature Editions(tm)). Philadelphia: Running Press. ISBN 978-0762412440. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2001). Who Am I? Where Did I Come From?. New York City: Golden Books. ISBN 978-0307106186. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Lehu, Pierre A. (2003). Conquering the Rapids of Life: Making the Most of Midlife Opportunities. Lanham, Maryland: Taylor Trade Publishing. ISBN 978-1589790124. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2003). Musically Speaking: A Life Through Song (Personal Takes). Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press. ISBN 978-0812237467. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2004). 52 Lessons on Communicating Love: Tips, Anecdotes, and Advice for Connecting with the One You Love from America's Leading Relationship Therapist . Boulder, Colorado: Blue Mountain Arts. ISBN 978-0883966969. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2004). Dr. Ruth's Guide to Talking About Herpes. New York City: Grove Press. ISBN 978-0802141200. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Lopater, Sanford (2004). Human Sexuality: A Psychosocial Perspective. (2nd ed.). Philadelphia: Lippincott, Williams & Wilkins. ISBN 978-0781760768. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2004). le sexe. (French ed.). First; Pour Les Nuls Poche. ISBN 978-2876919563. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2005). Dr. Ruth's Sex After 50: Revving Up the Romance, Passion & Excitement!. Fresno, California: Quill Driver Books. ISBN 978-1884956430. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2005). 52 Lecciones para Comunicar el Amor (Superacion Personal / Personal Growth). (Spanish ed.). Selector. ISBN 978-9706438317. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K. (2008). Dr. Ruth's Guide to Teens and Sex Today. New York City: Teachers College Press. p. 160. ISBN 978-0807749050. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Singerman, Jerome E. (2010). Mythen der Liebe. (German ed.). Munich, Germany: Collection Rolf Heyne. ISBN 978-3899104707. 
  • Westheimer, Dr. Ruth K.; Amos Grunebaum, M.D.; Pierre A. Lehu (2011). Sexually Speaking: What Every Woman Needs to Know about Sexual Health. Hoboken, New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons. ISBN 9780470643358. OCLC 731913202. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Lehu, Pierre A. (2012). Dr Ruth's Guide for the Alzheimer's Caregiver: How to Care for Your Loved One without Getting Overwhelmed…and without Doing It All Yourself. Fresno, California: Quill Driver Books. p. 188. ISBN 978-1610351355. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Kaplan, Steven (2013). Surviving Salvation: The Ethiopian Jewish Family in Transition. (Kindle ed.). Sanger, California: The Write Thought, Inc. ASIN B00CYP81YG. 
  • Westheimer, Dr. Ruth K.; Pierre A. Lehu (2015). The Doctor Is In: Dr. Ruth on Love, Life, and Joie de Vivre. New York City: Amazon Publishing. ISBN 9781477829608. OCLC 909806839. 
  • Westheimer, Ruth K.; Lehu, Pierre A. (2015). Lebe mit Lust und Liebe: Meine Ratschläge für ein erfülltes Leben. (German ed.). Freiburg, Germany: Verlag Herder. ISBN 3451348187. 



  1. ^ Barron, James. "Art/Architecture: Some Things Never Age. Just Ask Dr. Ruth." The New York Times. December 13, 1998.
  2. ^ "Ruth Westheimer". March 1, 2009. Retrieved December 18, 2016. 
  3. ^ a b Urban Legends Reference Pages: Dr. Ruth Was a Sniper by Barbara Mikkelson, March 1, 2007, Retrieved March 2, 2007.
  4. ^ a b c d "German-American Corner: Ruth Westheimer.". Retrieved March 24, 2017. 
  5. ^ a b c d Dullea, Georgia. "Therapist to Therapist: Analyzing Dr. Ruth". The New York Times. October 26, 1987.
  6. ^ a b Brawarsky, Sandee (21 December 2014). "Vows Taking Their Sweet Time". The New York Times Company. Retrieved 27 December 2014. 
  7. ^ Flax, Peter; Baum, Gary; Roxborough, Scott; Guthrie, Marisa; Lewis, Andy (16 December 2015). "Hollywood's Last Survivors of the Holocaust share their stories". The Hollywood Reporter. Retrieved 16 December 2015. 
  8. ^ a b c Jayson, Sharon (May 15, 2013). "Dr. Ruth, pushing age 85, still talking about sex.". USA Today. Retrieved March 25, 2017. 
  9. ^ a b Foreman, Tom (June 11, 2003). Dr. Ruth: Sex Sage and Ex-Sniper on Global Sexuality. National Geographic.
  10. ^ a b "Morris, Bob. "At Home With: Dr. Ruth Westheimer; The Bible as Sex Manual?". The New York Times. December 21, 1995.
  11. ^ "America's Significant Other: Dr. Ruth (1991)" OpenMind 1991.
  12. ^ Administrator. "All About Dr. Ruth". 
  13. ^ Joanne Kaufman (November 29, 2013). "Dr. Ruth Westheimer: Her Bedrooms Are Off Limits". The New York Times. Retrieved July 30, 2015. “I wanted it badly because of the view,” said the radio and television sex therapist and author who’s known simply as Dr. Ruth (the honorific comes courtesy of her Ph.D. in education). 
  14. ^ Katz, Mallory M. (March 20, 2017). "10 Women Immigrants Who Changed Art, Thought, and Politics in the U.S.". Huffington Post. Retrieved March 25, 2017. 
  15. ^ "Descendants of Holocaust Victims Reclaim German Citizenship.". NBC News. April 16, 2012. Retrieved December 31, 2012. 
  16. ^ "All About Dr. Ruth.". Retrieved March 24, 2017. 
  17. ^ Short audio clip #1 from Sexually Speaking with Dr. Ruth Westheimer on WYNY-FM New York.
  18. ^ Short audio clip #2 from Sexually Speaking with Dr. Ruth Westheimer on WYNY-FM New York.
  19. ^ Joseph P. Kahn (April 7, 2011). "A sex expert for the ages". The Boston Globe. Retrieved July 30, 2015. Her mantra, appropriately enough: “Get some.’’ 
  20. ^ Rich Griset (September 23, 2014). "Moment of Ruth". Style Weekly. Retrieved July 30, 2015. 
  21. ^ "Was there ever a Prelude commercial?". November 5, 2002. Retrieved October 18, 2010. 
  22. ^ Honda Prelude#Fourth generation
  23. ^ "Fall Season 2013: Episode 6 – In the Mixx". In the Mixx. 
  24. ^ "Virginia Rep". 
  25. ^ Virginia Rep: Becoming Dr. Ruth. YouTube. 23 September 2014. 
  26. ^ a b "Gordon, Jane. "Worth Noting: Calling Dr. Ruth (To Speak at Trinity)". The New York Times. May 9, 2004.
  27. ^ Joanne Kaufman (November 29, 2013). "Dr. Ruth Westheimer: Her Bedrooms Are Off Limits". The New York Times. Retrieved July 30, 2015. 
  28. ^ Vanita Salisbury (November 27, 2013). "Dr. Ruth Has Seen the Play About Her Life More Than Fifteen Times". New York. Retrieved July 30, 2015. 

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