Emission Impossible

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"Emission Impossible"
Family Guy episode
Episode no.Season 3
Episode 11
Directed byPeter Shin
Written byDave Collard and Ken Goin
Production code3ACX01
Original air dateNovember 8, 2001
Guest appearance(s)
Episode chronology
← Previous
"A Fish out of Water"
Next →
"To Love and Die in Dixie"
Family Guy (season 3)
List of Family Guy episodes

"Emission Impossible" is the 11th episode of the third season of Family Guy, that first aired November 8, 2001. The episode was originally scheduled to air on September 19, but due to the September 11 attacks, "A Fish out of Water" aired instead.

"Emission Impossible" was written by Dave Collard and Ken Goin, directed by Peter Shin. Majel Barrett guest-starred as the voice of Stewie's microbionautical ship, and Wallace Shawn as Bertram, one of Stewie's potential brothers.

The episode is rated as TV-14,[1] and the title is a reference to Mission: Impossible.

Plot summary[edit]

Quagmire babysits Meg, Chris, and Stewie while Peter accompanies Lois on a visit to her younger sister, Carol Pewterschmidt, who is nine months pregnant and has recently separated from her husband. When Carol goes into labor, Peter drives her and Lois to the hospital (stopping at a drive-thru on the way). Carol's obstetrician, Dr. Hartman, mistakenly stabs himself with several used needles after mistaking his used needles box for a box of plastic gloves, and faints. However, Peter and Lois successfully deliver Carol's baby, who turns out to be a boy, though Peter initially mistakes the baby for a girl with penis. Reminded of the joyful experience of childbirth, Peter and Lois decide to have another baby, but when they tell their kids and Brian about it, Stewie begins fearing for his status as the youngest child and resolves to prevent the conception of a fourth baby.

Stewie attempts to interfere in a romantic moment by crying for attention. Foiled in this effort, he smears one of Peter's shirt collars with lipstick, but Lois catches him when he gets distracted by his own image in the mirror. In another attempt, he chloroforms Peter and utilizes a mechanical replica of him to insult Lois, but Chris and Meg accidentally knock him out the window, where Stewie jumps out in front of Cleveland, much to Cleveland's surprise. Tired of the interruptions, Lois banishes the children to their rooms for the night, so she and Peter can enjoy some alone time. When a candlelit dinner threatens to lead to intimacy between his parents, Stewie shrinks himself and a spaceship-like vessel and enters Peter's body to destroy his sperm.

Once inside Peter, Stewie arrives at the testicles and immediately begins his assault. The sperm rally to resist him but Stewie, being the best of all Peter's seed, easily defeats them. The only one to offer meaningful resistance is Bertram, who seems to be just as diabolically clever as Stewie himself. After a brief struggle and standoff, they are both knocked out. Stewie recovers first, and holds Bertram at knifepoint, before he realizes that they have much in common, one thing being that they both want to kill Lois. Bertram claims to be the twinkle in Peter's eye. Additionally, with Bertram's help, he could accomplish many goals, including Lois' murder. They part on amicable terms, Stewie thinking it will be easy for Bertram to escape due to most of the sperm being killed, but Stewie has only moments before his ship reverts to normal size. After a narrow escape through Peter's tear duct, Stewie steers the craft back to his room with no time to spare.

However, Peter and Lois start having second thoughts about wanting to have another baby, pointing out that it's been a while since the last time the two of them have had any time to themselves and how it's going to be almost impossible if they end up having another baby, and that Stewie alone needs so much attention. In the end, much to Stewie's chagrin, Peter and Lois ultimately decide against having another baby. Stewie frantically tries to get her and Peter to resume their plans ("You must receive his seed!"), but Peter retreats to the bathroom and masturbates with the assistance of a lingerie catalogue. Stewie, enraged at Bertram's apparent death, despairs until he notices a twinkle in Peter's eye, signifying that Bertram is still alive. Stewie's relief is only momentary as he realizes that his unborn brother was more clever than he realized... possibly too clever.


  • S. Callaghan, "Emission Impossible". Family Guy: The Official Episode Guide Seasons 1–3. New York: HarperCollins, 2005. 152–155.
  • Roffman, Deborah M. (2006-02-05). "What Does 'Boys Will Be Boys' Really Mean?". The Washington Post. p. B4.

External links[edit]