Erotic sexual denial
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Erotic sexual denial, also known as orgasm denial, is a sexual practice or sex play in which a person is kept in a heightened state of sexual arousal for an extended length of time without orgasm, and is commonly practiced in association with BDSM and sexual bondage. Erotic sexual denial can be another name for or variant of orgasm control.
One form of erotic sexual denial is the reduction or deprivation of all genital stimulation. To ensure a complete absence of genital stimulation, a chastity device may be used as a physical barrier to genital touch or full erection.
Short-term denial practices
Tease and denial
Tease and denial is a situation where a person is stimulated until he or she is close to orgasm, then stimulation is stopped, keeping the person on the brink of orgasm. This is similar to orgasm control, but without the promise of orgasm at the end.
If orgasm still occurs after removal of stimulation, it typically brings less pleasure than usual, and is considered a "ruined orgasm", as opposed to being a "denied orgasm" (sometimes known in men as "blue balls"). Alternatively (for men), the release of semen during the emission phase of ejaculation might be prevented by some sort of constriction ("blocked orgasm"). Depending on the relationship, subjects might be repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm several times, but without actual orgasm, causing feelings of intense arousal and psychological need.
Tie and tease
To be able to control an orgasm of a partner in such sex games, physical restraints are commonly used. Situations involving bondage are typically called "tie and tease" and can be thought of as extended tease and denial games. This practice is often an integral part of erotic denial. It is notable that in discussions between BDSM partners, negotiation usually focuses on the activities which may or may not be agreed to, rather than the emotions generated by said activities (unless at an unacceptable level). Tie and tease activities are physically as well as psychologically intense, because the strong feelings of sexual frustration are escalated by the sensation of helplessness induced by bondage.
The practice of total sexual denial usually includes total avoidance of genital stimulation. This often involves the use of a physical barrier or device such as a chastity belt. Chastity belts or similar locking devices are available for both men and women. Depending on the situation, sexual arousal may still be possible regardless of physical barriers to genital stimulation. This, however, depends on the belt used.
Erotic denial as a form of control
Erotic sexual denial, in various forms, is sometimes associated with creating a state of sexual need leading to a more pliable or agreeable outlook by the denied party.
Orgasm denial practices can allow dominant lovers to exercise control and training over highly intimate and psychologically significant aspects of their submissive lovers' lives. This can extend to tolerance of increased stimulation and training both to hold back orgasm, or to orgasm on command. Dominant lovers can use this practice to experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of sexual control and erotic power. Submissive lovers can use this practice to help them experience enjoyable and sometimes intensely craved feelings of erotic submission, sexualised objectification and erotic loss of control.
Orgasm denial as a way of orgasm control is a widely practiced activity within erotic feminization. The top will often deny the submissive (BDSM) sexual release to maintain his heightened state of sexual arousal, as a way to satisfy his desires for erotic humiliation, or as a way to satisfy the dominant's own desires to erotically humiliate.
- Eroto-comatose lucidity – a form of erotic sexual denial
- Coitus reservatus
- Delayed ejaculation
- Forced orgasm
- Ken Addison, Around her finger
- Lucy Fairbourne, Male chastity: a guide for Keyholders
- Elise Sutton, Female domination
- Barbara Wright Abenathy, Venus on top
- Gorgeann Cross, Sexual power for women
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