Everything You Know Is Wrong

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Everything You Know Is Wrong
FT eykiw.jpg
Studio album by The Firesign Theatre
Released 1974
Genre Comedy
Length 42:00
Label Columbia
Producer The Firesign Theatre
The Firesign Theatre chronology
The Tale of the Giant Rat of Sumatra
Everything You Know Is Wrong
In the Next World, You're on Your Own
Professional ratings
Review scores
Source Rating
The New Rolling Stone Record Guide 5/5 stars

Everything You Know Is Wrong is the 8th comedy album by the Firesign Theatre released in October 1974 on Columbia Records.

Detailed track information and commentary[edit]

Like the group's other albums, Everything You Know Is Wrong is made up of a series of surreal skits that make satiric comments on contemporary culture. This album addresses and parodies pseudoscientific beliefs of the mid-1970s. The skits are connected to, or occurring in, "Nude Age Enterprises", the recording studio inside the trailer home of "Happy" Harry Cox in the fictional town of Hellmouth, California. Cox (played by Phil Austin) records seminars and assorted reports, similar to books by such authors as Erich von Däniken, which he calls his "mind-breaking records", to promote the "New Age" and other counterculture beliefs ("Dogs flew spaceships! The Aztecs invented the vacation! Men and women are the same sex! Our forefathers took drugs! Your brain is not the boss! Yes! That's right! Everything you know is wrong!").

Other notable characters include:

  • Sheriff Luger Axehandle — (David Ossman) Heater County, California law enforcement officer and witness to an apparent extraterrestrial sighting.
  • Lem Ashhauler — (Philip Proctor) Editor of the Hellmouth Heater-Democrat newspaper, who presents an archival report of an extraterrestrial visitor in Curio, Arizona in 1897.
  • Nino Savant, the Mind-Boggler (Philip Proctor) — A parody of Uri Geller, the psychic spoon-bender.
  • Daredemon Reebus Cannibis {pronounced "ca-NEE-bus"} —(Austin) A parody of daredevil Evel Knievel.
  • Don Brouhaha — A Native American shaman with a knowledge of natural psychoactive drugs — a parody of Carlos Castaneda's character Don Juan Matus, a shaman.
  • Gary the Seeker — (Peter Bergman) A well-meaning if annoying member of a group of New Age experimentalists who travel on what Gary describes as "The Heavenly Bus".
  • Doctor Firesign — Presented in a cameo appearance, selling "Don Brouhaha's Inca Hell-Oil Tonic" and "Chief Dead Saint Knockout's Pyramid Pushover Paste" in his medicine show. Cox plays a wire recording containing part of an adventure in which Dr. Firesign encounters Don Brouhaha.
  • Art Wholeflaffer — (David Ossman) Caretaker and groundskeeper at the trailer park where Harry Cox lives.
  • Buzz and Bunny Crumbhunger — (Bergman and Proctor, respectively) A married couple who recorded their abduction, murder and resurrection by extraterrestrials on their home movie camera (They narrate the footage on a seemingly normal travelogue TV show).
  • Bob Hind (Austin), the host of the travel show, "The Golden Hind," on which Buzz and Bunny discuss their abduction.
  • Pat Hat —(Bergman) A parody of sportscaster Howard Cosell, who calls the action when Reebus Cannibis attempts to jump a giant hole left by a spaceship.
  • Harold Hiphugger and Ray Hamberger (pronounced "ham-bur-ZHER") —(Ossman and Proctor, respectively) The "Where It's Happy" television news team of Channel Six, "The Hot One for the High Desert". Their style of reporting news largely by talking between themselves, rather than directly to the audience, parodies the Happy talk television news format which came into fashion about this time, as well as emulating the comedy team Bob and Ray.


After it was recorded, a movie version was made, with the group lip-syncing to the album. The cinematographer for this was Allen Daviau, who later filmed E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. The film was released on a VHS format videotape in 1993 by The Firesign Theatre. (UPC barcode 735885 100131.) The group showed the film at Stanford University and took questions and answers.

The Seeker's shirt reads "Malmborg In Plano". This saying was first used (several times) in I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus.

Cultural references[edit]

The "Official stolen government training film of the secret plan to deal with an alien uprising" is a parody of, among other things: General Curtis LeMay's statement that the Communists of North Vietnam should be "bombed back to the stone age". LeMay is also noteworthy for having furiously informed Barry Goldwater that he was not permitted to access rumored secret UFO information supposedly being kept at Wright Patterson Air Force Base.

The travelogue TV show interview with Buzz and Bunny Crumhunger is a parody of an early 60s series called The Golden Voyage, hosted by travelogue film producer Jack Douglas [1][2][3]. The show featured couples narrating 8mm silent home movies of their vacations in exotic locations.

Track listing[edit]

Side one[edit]

  1. "Side 1" – 20:45

Side two[edit]

  1. "Side 2" – 21:15

Issues and reissues[edit]

This album was originally released simultaneously on LP, 8 Track, Quadrophonic LP, and quadrophonic 8 track cartridge.

  • LP - KC-33141
  • 8 Track - CA-33141
  • Quadrophonic LP - CQ-33141
  • Quadrophonic 8 track cartridge -

It has been re-released on CD at least once

  • 2001 - Laugh.com LGH1077