Frozen Assets (film)
Canadian home video poster
|Directed by||George T. Miller|
|Written by||Don Klein
|Music by||Michael Tavera|
|Edited by||Larry Bock|
|Distributed by||RKO Pictures|
|October 23, 1992|
|Box office||$376,008 (USA)|
Frozen Assets is a 1992 American comedy film directed by George T. Miller. It stars Shelley Long and Corbin Bernsen. It is considered by some film critics to be one of the worst movies ever made.
Zach Shepard, an executive at a Los Angeles bank, gets a new job at a bank in Oregon, which is revealed to be a sperm bank. After some initial confusion, Zach and his nurse, Grace Murdock, deal with a shortage of donations by holding a contest with a $100,000 prize. Citizens abstain from sex to save themselves for bank "deposits," while a local brothel protests the sperm bank for ruining its business.
Zach is assisted in assorted ways by Newton, an escaped mental patient who lives with his mother, and before his work is done, Zach and Grace are ready to open up a joint account.
- Shelley Long as Dr. Grace Murdock
- Corbin Bernsen as Zach Shepard
- Larry Miller as Newton Patterson
- Dody Goodman as Mrs. Patterson
- Matt Clark as J.F. Hughes
The film wasn't reviewed by many critics- but it received almost entirely negative reviews, and was lambasted by famed Chicago film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert. Ebert also gave the film the rare zero stars rating in the Chicago Sun-Times, writing "I felt like I was an eyewitness to a disaster. If I had been an actor in the film, I would have wondered why all the characters in this movie seem dumber than the average roadkill. What puzzles me is this film's tone. It's essentially a children's film with a dirty mind. This is a movie to watch in appalled silence. To call it the year's worst would be a kindness."
The film bombed at the box office- only earning $376,008 in the United States.