How to Win Friends and Influence People
|Publisher||Simon and Schuster (1936)|
|Media type||Print (Hardcover, Paperback)|
How to Win Friends and Influence People is one of the first best-selling self-help books ever published. Written by Dale Carnegie and first published in 1936, it has sold 15 million copies world-wide.
Leon Shimkin of the publishing firm Simon & Schuster took one of the 14-week courses given by Carnegie in 1934. Shimkin persuaded Carnegie to let a stenographer take notes from the course to be revised for publication.
In 1981, a new revised edition containing updated language and anecdotes was released. The revised edition reduced the number of sections from 6 to 4, eliminating sections on effective business letters and improving marital satisfaction.
- 1 Major sections and points
- 1.1 Twelve Things This Book Will Do For You
- 1.2 Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- 1.3 Six Ways to Make People Like You
- 1.4 Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- 1.5 Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
- 1.6 Letters That Produced Miraculous Results
- 1.7 Seven Rules For Making Your Home Life Happier
- 2 Reception
- 3 In popular culture
- 4 References
- 5 External links
Major sections and points
Twelve Things This Book Will Do For You
- Get you out of a mental rut, give you new thoughts, new visions, new ambitions.
- Enable you to make friends quickly and easily.
- Increase your popularity.
- Help you to win people to your way of thinking.
- Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done.
- Enable you to win new clients, new customers.
- Increase your earning power.
- Make you a better salesman, a better executive.
- Help you to handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts smooth and pleasant.
- Make you a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.
- Make the principles of psychology easy for you to apply in your daily contacts.
- Help you to arouse enthusiasm among your associates.
The book has six major sections. The core principles of each section are quoted below.
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six Ways to Make People Like You
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person's interest.
- Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong."
- If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise every improvement.
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.
Letters That Produced Miraculous Results
- In this chapter, the shortest in the book, Carnegie analyzes two letters and describes how to appeal to someone with the term "do me a favor" as opposed to directly asking for something which does not offer the same feeling of importance to the recipient of the request.
Seven Rules For Making Your Home Life Happier
- Don't nag.
- Don't try to make your partner over.
- Don't criticize.
- Give honest appreciation.
- Pay little attentions.
- Be courteous.
- Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.
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In popular culture
- Warren Buffett took the Dale Carnegie course "How to Win Friends and Influence People" when he was 20 years old, and to this day has the diploma in his office.
- David Letterman used the phrase "How to Shoot Friends and Influence People" as number 10 in his Top 10 list of "Chapter Titles in Dick Cheney's Memoir", referring to the Dick Cheney hunting incident.
- Charles Manson used what he learned from the book in prison to manipulate women into killing on his behalf.
- The title of Lenny Bruce's autobiography How to Talk Dirty and Influence People is a parody of the title of this book.
- English rock band Terrorvision titled their second album How to Make Friends and Influence People in reference to the book.
- In August 2015, the book was featured on Showtime's Masters of Sex, with portions recited in a voiceover as a main character studies the text.
- The title of Toby Young's memoir How to Lose Friends & Alienate People is a parody of the title of this book. The memoir was also adapted into a 2008 film of the same name starring Simon Pegg.
- The Financial Post on Dale Carnegie: "Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People, the gold standard of the genre, has sold more than 15 million copies since it was first published in 1937." (April 24, 2008)
- Walters, Ray (September 5, 1982). "Paperback Talk". New York Times. Retrieved April 7, 2008.
- Lasson, Sally Ann (February 16, 2009). "Warren Buffet: The secret of the billionaire's success". The Independent. Retrieved April 8, 2013.
- "Letterman takes aim at Cheney with Top 10". May 23, 2011. Retrieved February 18, 2013.
- Brady, Diane (July 22, 2013). "Charles Manson's turning point: Dale Carnegie classes". Business Week. Retrieved October 23, 2013.