List of Conker characters
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- 1 Protagonists
- 2 Antagonists
- 3 Secondary Characters
- 3.1 Gregg the Grim Reaper
- 3.2 Dung Beetles
- 3.3 Birdy
- 3.4 Franky the Pitchfork
- 3.5 Fangy the Raptor
- 3.6 Lizard Monk
- 3.7 Wayne and the Wankas
- 3.8 Armored Imps
- 3.9 Fire Imps
- 3.10 Possessed Dolls
- 3.11 TNT Imps
- 3.12 Zombies
- 3.13 Carl/Quentin
- 3.14 Female Cogs
- 3.15 Barry and Co.
- 3.16 Ugas
- 3.17 Rock Men
- 3.18 Fajo the Money
- 3.19 Mr. and Mrs. Bee
- 3.20 The Sunflower
- 3.21 The Catfish
- 3.22 Gargoyle
- 3.23 Marvin
- 3.24 Ron & Reg
- 3.25 The Villagers / French Squirrels
Conker the Squirrel
Conker the Squirrel is the protagonist and main character in the Conker series. In the newer games, Conker is an ill-tempered, greedy, heavy drinking, pessimistic, and cynical red squirrel. Conker, though highly materialistic and never afraid to insult, always approaches new characters with a positive outlook. Conker's adventures occur because he gets drunk and wanders in the opposite direction to his home. In the Xbox Live Arcade version of Banjo-Kazooie, his picture is seen in the Rusty Bucket Bay level where Berri's beta old appearance originally was in the Nintendo 64 version. In Conker's Pocket Tales, he has to rescue his girlfriend, Berri, from the Evil Acorn; the same version of Conker appears in Diddy Kong Racing, where he is a playable character and that game marks his first appearance. He is voiced by Chris Seavor.
Berri is Conker's girlfriend, she began as an orange/brown-furred chipmunk the same approximate size as Conker in Conker's Pocket Tales but since Conker's Bad Fur Day she is thin and curvaceous, grey-furred, and more than twice Conker's height. Conker and Berri form a close relationship, though she is frustrated by his regular drinking. Berri gets abducted by a rock man to dance at a nightclub. Conker saves her, but the Bouncer takes him to the mafia boss Don Weaso, who later murders her at the orders of the Panther King. Berri is a stereotypical valley girl with entirely pink possessions and a naive but no-nonsense attitude. She (or at least, a beta version of her from Conker's Twelve Tales) makes a minor cameo in Banjo-Kazooie; a bunk bed in a cabin in Rusty Bucket Bay has a poster of her hanging above it. Berri is voiced by Louise Ridgeway.
The Squirrels / Squirrel High Command
The Squirrel High Command (more commonly known as the SHC) are a faction of squirrels at war with the Tediz. They were featured in the Nintendo 64 original version, Conker's Bad Fur Day, but they were simply referred to as "The Squirrels". The Squirrel High Command are portrayed as heroic, representing the Allied (more specifically the American Forces as evidenced by their attire, specifically their helmets and M16-like rifles) forces of WWII, fighting against the evil Nazi Tediz on an Omaha Beach-like war field. The SHC "recruit" Conker by knocking him out and putting him on a higgins boat similar to the landing craft of the Battle of Normandy. During the assault, the SHC suffers tremendous casualties, to the point that Conker is believed to be the sole survivor ; the latter, however, later encounters a SHC POW in a Tedi experiment lab, and rescues his drinking buddy Pvt. Rodent. Additionally, the Colonel arrives some time between the landing and the end of the chapter with a LCPV, and rescues 2 other survivors. The Class 22 tank that Conker takes over bear Squirrel Armies' insignia, though located deep within the Tediz' island base ; in the original version multiplayer, it is seen employed by both the Squirrel in an exercise ("Tank" mode) and the Tediz in their victory cutscene ("War - Colors" mode).
In the N64 Bad Fur Day, the Squirrels are armed with a rifle that strongly resembles the M16 (though another rendition of the M16 is also encountered in the game, namely in multiplayer) and seem to employ the same disproportional turret gun than the Tediz ; they sport a green uniform strongly inspired by the American WWII-era battle dress (especially the helmet) and carry an ammo belt. Their vehicles include bombers (one is shot down by a Tedi sub whilst others drop bombs on the Tedi base, some of which threaten Conker and Rodent in a section of the singleplayer), armored LCPVs and Class-22 tanks ; a truck is also mentioned by the Colonel in the introduction cutscene for the Beach multiplayer mode. Huge coastal artillery cannons are also observed in the Squirrel harbour. In multiplayer, both sides can pick up the same weapons that are scattered across the maps. The only difference is the look of the grenades (squirrel grenades are modeled after American WWII-era "pineapple" grenades and Tediz' are modeled after German WWII-era Stielhandgranaten), but this difference is purely cosmetic and both grenades pack the same firepower.
In the Xbox remake, they use the same rifles used by the Tediz (though the Tediz have a bayonet attached to theirs) in singleplayer. They still deploy bombers and LCPVs (with different designs than in the original game), and anti-air turret gun cannons are seen from the exterior of their harbour. In multiplayer, both sides share exactly the same weapons and vehicles.
The SHC were voiced by Chris Seavor in Bad Fur Day and Chris Marlow, Louise Ridgeway, Fred Tatasciore and Duncan Botwood in Live & Reloaded but also used Seavor's original squirrel voice recordings for the Bad Fur Day remake.
Military leader of the "American" grey squirrels, this immense squirrel is featured in the "It's War" chapter and in several multiplayer modes. He first appears in the recruitment video in the beginning of the chapter, describing their mission to fight the Tediz (interestingly, he calls them an "unknown enemy", even though they were fought long ago (presumably in the war mentioned by Batula), and are even mentioned in the multiplayer mode of Conker: Live & Reloaded. However, given his questionable intelligence, it may just be him being mistaken). He later appears when Conker first enters the Dock, praising Conker for surviving the Airplane being shot down (even though Conker wasn't really in close proximity to the crash), giving Conker the order to clear the way and meet at the landing craft. After Conker clears the obstacle, he reports back to the Colonel, who after congratulating him on an accomplished mission shouts "What the hell is that!". As Conker looks away, the Colonel knocks him out.
He doesn't appear again until the ending of the chapter, having gathered the survivors of the assault on a landing craft. He notices Conker rushing towards his rescue party and orders the sniper to gun down the Tediz chasing Conker. Afterwards, he and Conker share a bit of a chat about how horrible war is, and he mentions his resentment about how generals are "20 miles away from enemy lines" and not actually helping.
In multiplayer modes "Beach" and "War", he briefs the Squirrel team about their objectives, and in "Tank", he instructs the young recruits (the players) about the training. Using a cheat, he can be selected as a playable character in free-for-all deathmatch and race modes.
A running joke with the character is his tendency to say "Fuck that Shit!" whenever he messes up when he speaks (with "Fuck" being bleeped out). He also seems to have below-average intelligence, and he even hints that he is aware of it when he is singing "I don't know what I've been told" to the tune of Military marching songs. The Colonel was voiced by Chris Seavor.
While he doesn't appear anywhere else in the game other than the beginning and end of the It's War chapter, the Bartender of the Cock and Plucker pub shares a similar design to him; additionally, he appears in war-themed multiplayer modes in Bad Fur Day N64 (Beach, War and Tank modes, and is a cheat-unlocked character in free-for all mode) and as the commander of the SHC in the Xbox remake.
Rodent, another recruit of the SHC, is discovered by Conker in the Tediz Base tied up to be executed by a firing squad. Conker kills the firing squad and releases him, and Rodent aids him throughout the struggle. The dialogue between the two at the beginning seems to indicate that they had met previously and even been friends (possibly having met at the pub in the opening, as Conker phones Berri and tells her that he was partying with people who were going to fight a war tomorrow). His special suit, the Experiment #G7224, is indestructible, and so he volunteers to literally act as a human shield for Conker (or in this case, a "squirrel-shield"). When the pair come across a tank, he studies it eagerly, and remains inside it for some time while Conker drives it. He is aware that there is something wrong with the Little Girl somehow, warning Conker to stay away. After the battle with The Experiment, the Little Girl releases some spider mines that destroy the tank. Conker believes Rodent has perished in the blast and is forced to leave his body behind as he flees from the fortress. Rodent survives, however, and regains consciousness just as the fortress explodes ; the ensuing explosion sends him flying through the air as Conker and the surviving SHC watch him go flying overhead and cheer him. He then crashes into the windmill, destroying it and killing Mrs. Bee. Thanks to his suit, he survives this too. Conker later finds him emerging from the windmill; Rodent has by this point developed a hero-worship of Conker, and although Conker thanks him and they appear to part amicably, Conker then reveals that he thinks Rodent is an idiot (though he may have been venting frustration, as he did accidentally demolish the Windmill from being launched from the explosion on Tediz Island.) Rodent is also present at the throne room at the end, and asks if he can be Conker's general. He is voiced by Chris Seavor.
The following are Antagonist characters in Conker games.
The Evil Acorn is the main villain of Conker's Pocket Tales. He kidnaps Berri and steals all of Conker's presents on Conker's birthday for unknown reasons, leaving Conker sad. He is found at the end of each world, and tells Conker that he will have to fight the world's boss. Conker manages to track him down and ultimately rescue Berri in the catacombs, however the Evil Acorn sets off a timer that will make the entire cavern explode. The two escape, and the Evil Acorn is presumed dead after blasting off into space due to the explosion, as the Evil Acorn is neither seen nor mentioned after Conker's Pocket Tales.
The Tediz are a group of soldiers under the command of Von Kriplespac. They are made to resemble Teddy Bears. According to the game Conker's Bad Fur Day, teddy bear soldiers were first used in an unspecified "Milk War" 300 years previously, but were soon decommissioned due to their flimsy design and flammable stuffing. The Tediz are at war with the SHC, though neither game specifies exactly why. It was said that the Weasel-produced Tediz had occupied the "Squirrel Homeland". Perhaps the SHC got involved to rescue French squirrels, apparently persecuted by the Tediz, and implied to have been sent to death camps (resembling the imprisonment of Jews by Nazis, like in World War II). In Bad Fur Day, a new version of the teddy bear soldier is created by a Germanic technophile weasel scientist named Professor Von Kriplespac, who christens them the Tediz; originally simply stuffing-filled teddy bears with guns, but in the Xbox remake, Live & Reloaded, they are made to resemble WWII Nazi troops with blood. Later, they are also shown to be robotic underneath (the Machine Tediz), which is a reference to the second Terminator film, though they still bleed. So much can be inferred about their origins. In multiplayer games, there is a Tedi with the physique of the Colonel, though he is only available through cheat and in the free-for-all and Race modes.
In the N64 Bad Fur Day, the Tediz are deprived of any uniform and their blood is yellow/green-tinted. In singleplayer, they are equipped with a rifle of original design, with no pistol grip but a large magazine and a bayonet (which they use to impale Conker). They use midget submarines capable of anti-air fire and loaded with conventional warhead-armed ICBMs (whose range and firepower are somewhat ridiculous for an ICBM). They also employ Class-22 tanks (most likely either stolen or copied from the Squirrel) and, arguably, planes (as paratrooper Tediz are dropped in the area Conker fights in). In multiplayer, both sides can pick up the same weapons.
The Tediz' were voiced by Chris Seavor in Bad Fur Day and by Chris Marlow, Fred Tatiscore & Duncan Botwood in the multiplayer for Live & Reloaded but also used Seavor's original Tedi voice recordings for the Bad Fur Day remake.
The Tediz and the Squirrel High Command, as well as their scenario, resemble characters and situations from Boris the Bear, a comic published in the 1980s.
Fabled (Fairy) Panther King
The Panther King is the arch-villain in the popular Nintendo 64 video game Conker's Bad Fur Day. The king orders Von Kripelspac to fix his table and when Kripelspac calculates that the perfect fit would be a red squirrel he sends out his guards to capture Conker merely to use as a replacement table leg. During the Milk Wars, the wicked Panther King gained control by betraying the Kulas of Conk, and overthrowing and cutting the legs off the weasel king and banishing squirrels from the kingdom (Although this is all unproved, and it is possible he never did any of this. It is also unexplained how he and the Professor had both lived for upwards 300 years.) Towards the end of his reign, the Professor planted an alien egg inside the king and its birth killed him. His corpse was sucked into space through the airlock that Conker opens. Years later, in a war between the SHC and the Tediz, the squirrels went to an ancient base, hoping to get an ancient weapon, but instead found the Panther King's tomb. The body was gone, with the Tediz resurrecting it. There are two endings. If the SHC win, they destroy the Panther King's body so he won't get resurrected. If the Tediz win, the Panther King is successfully resurrected, instantly demanding milk (which he has an insatiable thirst for). The Panther King was voiced by Chris Marlow.
Professor Von Kriplespac
Von Kriplespac is a weasel scientist who worked for his former boss, the Panther King and the secondary antagonist of Conker's Bad Fur Day. He is bound to a wooden hoverchair (a high-tech supplement for a wheelchair), has no legs (but crudely bandaged stumps), and has a robotic eye and arm (for reasons unknown). He was once the Weasel King, but was overthrown by the Panther King, who had recently betrayed the Kulas of Conk. He was the leader of the Tediz 300 years later, and he dressed up like a combination of Dr. Strangelove and Adolf Hitler, until the SHC broke through the brigades in the Second Assault, and he had his legs blown off by an SHC bazooka. After his war with the SHC, he worked for the Panther King, who threatened him with the "duct tape", as both an inventor and general problem solver. Due to this position as a mere servant, Von Kriplespac had grown a hatred for the king and often cursed him off behind his back, plotting to overthrow him with his soon-to-be-resurrected Tediz army (which is later defeated by Conker, earning himself a position as a hated enemy of Von Kriplespac as well). Kripelspac appears to have various inventions including anti-gravity chocolate, however these are sidelined to fix the Panther King's coffee table. During his experiments and attempts to fix the coffee table dilemma, Kripelspac slips "something special" into Panther King's milk (an alien egg, containing Heinrich, which would kill the king). After Heinrich hatches and kills the Panther King, much to the weasel professor's cruel delight, he reveals that the bank vault they are in is actually a space shuttle and launches it, remarking that living in the Panther King's castle is "so out of date" and he has "something known as technology". With the shuttle in space, Kripelspac orders Heinrich to kill Conker, but the squirrel runs to the lever under the Panther King's dead body and throne. Pulling the lever, Conker opens the airlock of the shuttle and puts on a space suit. As Conker and Heinrich prepare to battle, Von Kriplespac suddenly realizes that he forgot about the airlock and tries to get away from the large door as it sucks everything out. He remarks that he should have put high-powered boosters on his chair, laments that he has the last words, he's got "no legs, and now no life!", and is sucked out into space. He survived, however, and later led his Tediz again, in the Future War, which finally reached an end 700 years later (at this point, he had lived upwards of 1000 years.) In Bad Fur Day, two things about him were not told: His name was not known (he was simply called The Professor) and the way his legs were lost was wrong (his legs were said to have been chopped off by the Panther King). He was voiced by Chris Seavor.
The weasel crime boss Don Weaso is a mix of every mob boss stereotype, from Italian mafia dons to standard mob bosses. His first cutscene shows him having a meeting with a handful of employees while receiving a massage from Berri. He proceeds to beat Paulie (Mr. Red) to death as he "showed no respect" with a baseball bat in front of Conker, who had been caught taking money from the Rock Solid nightclub, which is revealed to belong to Don Weaso. The mob boss offers Conker a job to pay off the debt, which Conker accepts: he sends Conker with a bomb to get rid of the cavemen, and advises him to leave town afterwards. Conker runs into him again later outside the Feral Reserve Bank, where he sends in both Conker and Berri to steal him some money (Allegedly due to Conker's last job of bombing the Uga Buga village leaving him bankrupt.). However, the job is a set-up, and the vault houses the Panther King, who gives the Don a bounty for delivering Conker and has him kill Berri. The Don is last seen running from the scene after Heinrich is born ; his fate is unknown afterwards, though he reappears in multiplayer mode Heist. Don Weaso was voiced by Chris Seavor.
In Bad Fur Day, Don Weaso also appeared in the Heist variant of Multiplayer, in which he is again conducting a robbery of the Feral Reserve Bank, although the layout is much different. The opening cutscene heavily parodies Reservoir Dogs, as much of his dialogue is identical to Joe Cabot's.
The Haybot is a character in Conker's Bad Fur Day who resembles a Haystack creatures with arms and eyes, but under the hay is a robot with an Austrian accent. The Haybot is a spoof of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Terminator, with a red view for targeting and responding in conversation, the accent, red eye showing and the hay burning away to reveal a metal skeleton. With the help of Franky the Pitchfork, Conker destroyed him. The Haybot also uses a shoulder-mounted missile named Suzi 9 mm, a parody of the Uzi 9 mm. He was voiced by Chris Seavor.
The Big Big Guy
The Boiler, described by Conker as a "bourgeois big-bollocked boiler", is found in Bat's Tower. When all but two of the Fire Imps have been extinguished, the pair that remain jump into the boiler and turn it on, where it is revealed to be sentient, and sports a British accent and a pompous attitude. One of the Fire Imps, at his companion's urging, presses a button that reveals an oversized pair of brass testicles, to show the boiler is up to the task of beating Conker. The boiler has a tendency to charge at Conker, and if that fails, it uses its grill as a flamethrower. Conker dumps sludge on it to stun it, then cracks its testicles with bricks and, eventually, his saucepan, knocking them clean off. The boiler collapses and, in their haste to escape, the Fire Imps accidentally set off a self-destruct mechanism instead of going out his butt.
The Great Mighty Poo
The Great Mighty Poo is a giant mound of fecal matter with a huge, flapping mouth full of yellow "teeth" (which in reality are digested kernels of corn), two tiny green eyes and two stubby arms with which he "throws his shit" at Conker. He resides within the cavern of Poo Mountain, a large hill made out of feces collected from across the land by giant hard-working dung beetles. The Great Mighty Poo does not seem to take kindly to them, as he grabs them by surprise and drowns them in his lake of poo.
Through the battle he sings a 'Sloprano' like an opera singer in a loud baritone voice, he swear-sings at Conker after getting rolls of toilet paper thrown in his mouth. Conker defeats him by flushing him. As he goes down, his last words mirror the Wicked Witch of the West's, replacing melting with flushing. He was voiced and sung by Chris Marlow. After the game's release, his character and song became very popular. The Dandy Xtreme ranked "The Great Mighty Poo" as the second best video game villain ever in issue 3505.
Buga the Knut
Buga the Knut is a huge, obese Cave Man who seems to be something of a Caesar-like figure. He appears in the Uga arena where he orders people to be fed to Fangy, a dinosaur. He spends much of his time bragging to his girlfriend, Jugga, about his allegedly-large boner. After Conker tames Fangy and kills several Uga troops, Jugga remarks that Conker must have a larger boner, and Buga enters in the arena in a fury to destroy Conker. Conker immediately uses Fangy to defeat him, first by ramming his crotch with Fangy's teeth, and then tearing chunks out of his buttocks. Soon Buga drops his loincloth and is unable to conceal the fact that his penis is in fact tiny. In humiliation, he tries to conceal his shame, then he breaks through the wall of the arena and disappears. He shares a similar name and position as the Star Wars character Jabba the Hutt. He was voiced by Chris Seavor.
Count Batula is a character in Conker's Bad Fur Day & Conker: Live & Reloaded. He is the stereotype of a vampire and can transform into a bat, as well as Conker's fifth great-grandfather. Much of his introductory cutscene is a parody of Dracula. When Conker enters his mansion, he greets Conker and gives him something to eat (despite Conker's remarks). When the villagers storm his mansion, Count Batula reveals that he was going to kill Conker and drink his blood, but decides instead to turn him into a Vampire bat. After figuring out that Conker is his descendant, he sends him out to fetch him villagers, to drop them into a giant grinding contraption, which pumps the gory remains straight up to the Count where he can drink their blood. After drinking too much blood, his increased weight causes the rope from which he hangs from untwine and snap, causing him to fall into the grinder where he is killed. Outside his mansion is a grave for Count Conkula, which caused many players to believe that that was indeed his name. He was voiced by Chris Seavor.
The Experiment and Little Girl
The Experiment is a Tediz experiment consisting of a giant Tediz torso with a mechanical abdomen and legs. Attached to the end of one arm is a little girl named Reagan (a grey squirrel and chipmunk hybrid with blonde hair). As the little girl says, "I'm the brains and the eyes, and he's the brawn", indicating that she is the one controlling the body. She also says "I haven't been a Little Girl for some time now", indicating that she had indeed been nothing more than an innocent child prior to her kidnapping and alteration by Kriplespac. It is apparent that this has given her an evil alter ego, as she changes whenever angry or evilly delighted: Her eyes turn a pale green color and her voice becomes raspier and more threatening. The Experiment has several disproportionate weapons at her/its disposal, including two miniguns, two missile launchers, two lasers and a circular saw attached to the main body's other hand. The Little Girl deceives Conker, leading him to believe that she is an innocent child in need of help; but when he tries to "rescue" her (with a cash reward in mind), she reveals the rest of her being as the giant Tedi emerges from the floor. They are finally defeated by Conker using a tank to shoot the red opening on the Tedi's back. The little girl survives, however, and starts a countdown on an explosive. The little girl parodies The Exorcist when revealing her true nature; her eyes turn to their hidden green color and her head slowly rotates. The Experiment itself is apparently blindly loyal to her, yet is still a different entity, as he and the girl can survive independent of each other (however, he does seek her out if she is blown off his hand). It is unknown when the little girl died but it is assumed that she died when the island blew up. The Little Girl was voiced by Louise Ridgeway and The Experiment was voiced by Chris Seavor.
The weasels are another faction within the game, though they can be divided into two separate groups :
- The weasel mob is led by Don Weaso ; they all wear a mask and a T-shirt whose stripes are of four different coulours : red, blue, green and yellow ; they are subsequently referred to as Mr. Red, Mr. Blue, Mr. Green and Mr. Yellow as a spoof of the film Reservoir Dogs in the Heist multiplayer mode, though both singleplayer and multiplayer cutscenes give them the names of Paulie, Frankie, Chicho and Ali.
- The Panther King's Guard is made up of two medieval spearmen that guard the Throne Room and protect the King and of several riflemen that protect the Feral Reserve Bank, firing M16A1-like rifles and dressed like the soldiers from the first Matrix movie, i.e. wearing a black attire and a matching helmet. Conker and Berri encounter and dispatches the whole Bank garrison in a spoof of Matrix.
Heinrich is an Alien (Xenomorph) from the Alien film series. His incubation took place inside the Panther King and was placed there by Von Kripelspac who treats Heinrich like a pet, patting and praising him. Despite being an Alien, Heinrich only kills one character, the Panther King (as he bursts from his chest). Conker fights Heinrich as a spoof of Aliens where Ripley fights the queen alien; Conker dons a large, yellow, metal suit with clamps for hands and does battle with Heinrich. Heinrich is thrown out an airlock. Unfortunately, he is able to climb back in. Heinrich is killed by Conker however in the "throne-room" with a Katana after the game "locks-up" and Conker bargains with some programmers.
Gregg the Grim Reaper
Gregg plays the part of The Grim Reaper in the Nintendo 64 game, "Conker's Bad Fur Day" and its remake, the Xbox game, "Conker: Live & Reloaded"
Gregg is a colourful character, who first appears when the player character dies. He explains the life system to Conker, and drops him back into the world of the living. Gregg later appears at the beginning of the Spooky chapter, and aids Conker by giving him the shotgun. Gregg is a "diminutive" reaper, and has a coarse mouth, which makes him a fan favorite. He hates cats, as they have nine lives and each take forever for him to catch and claim. He also hates Zombies, as they are already dead and he sees no point as to reaping them. Gregg was voiced by Chris Seavor. Seavor's voice was electronically pitched higher.
The Dung Beetles inhabit poo mountain where the Great Mighty Poo is found, speaking in heavy Liverpudlian accents. One Dung Beetle works the cabin where the poo balls are made by cows Mavis and Olive; the Dung Beetle processes the poo and makes it into balls for anyone willing to have some poo. This beetle also seems to be completely baffled as to why they even roll in poo. They are only seen in the first part of the game and in the Poo Mountain chapters. The Great Mighty Poo kills at least two of them, named Bazza and Tezza. The beetles were voiced by Chris Seavor.
Birdy is a drunk, sarcastic, hay scarecrow who acts as the tutor for Conker and the player. He is a parody of the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz and is the first character the player interacts with. Birdy teaches the controls and abilities in the game, later asking for Mepsi Pax but instead accepts ten dollars (a nod to Full Metal Jacket). Mepsi Pax is a joke reference to the popular cola flavoured drink Pepsi Max. The quote comes early in the game, when Conker finds himself blocked by a gang of dung beetles and Birdy comes along to help him. His instruction on "Context Sensitive Zones" allows Conker to get past the dung beetles. Birdy was based on a programmer from Rare nicknamed "Beardy" hence Conker mistaking his name in their first meeting. Like the character, the real life "Beardy" was a known fan of Pepsi Max.
Birdy was voiced by Chris Seavor.
Franky the Pitchfork
Franky is a pitchfork found in the titular barn in Barn Boys. Initially he is an antagonist, as, at the urging of his companions Reg the paint pot and Ron the paint brush, he attacks Conker (or, as he puts it "give 'im a whuppin'"). After Conker defeats him, through guilt, the pitchfork goes back to his supposed friends who, far from comforting him, tell him to kill himself. In despair, he attempts to hang himself from the rafters of the barn (Though not before cussing at his friends and asking what kind of friends they are), and fails miserably due to his lack of "a neck of any description", to the glee of the pot and brush. Conker soon cuts him down with throwing knives and, out of gratitude, Franky aids him in defeating the Haybot, both in the barn and in the basement, which all three fall into after the Haybot destroys the floor. After the Haybot is defeated, Franky finds he has been split in half, and Conker tapes him back together. The basement then begins to flood, and Franky immediately disappears, saying he "have to go", leaving Conker to defend himself against the broken wires and rising water. Franky does not reappear until the throne room at the end. In the director's commentary on YouTube, creator Chris Seavor stated Franky the Pitchfork is a homosexual.
He is voiced by Chris Seavor.
Fangy the Raptor
Fangy is a dinosaur of undisclosed species, though labelled as a dromeaosaurid of some kind. He appears only once, in the Uga Buga arena, where his primal savage tendencies are showcased as entertainment for the cavemen. He attacks anything that moves when he is released, regardless of species. For some undisclosed reason he is already fitted with reins, which Conker makes use of: he hypnotises the dinosaur and then uses him as a steed, riding around on him and attacking the various cavemen, including the huge Buga the Knut. Initially hostile towards Conker, Fangy eventually grows attached to him. After defeating Buga, Conker decides to pay a visit to the similarly huge, though nowhere near as fat, girlfriend of Buga, appropriately named Jugga. When he tries to leave, Fangy follows him like a loyal dog. Conker uses a bone from a dead Cave Man to send the dinosaur back into his holding pen, and the drawbridge is raised behind him.
Lizard monks are seen in the Opening Cut Scene, Barn Boys, and Uga Buga only. Conker leaves the Cock and Plucker pub and vomits on one, being drunk. It hisses at him and Conker apologizes, walking into the Panther Kingdom. They read an engraving on a stone and while they tend to hiss at anything, they are harmless. When Conker jumps onto one of their stones, they flip him off the stone onto a high ledge. Only one monk is killed, when the baby raptor jumps out of its egg and lands on it. They appear the same in both games, the Lizard Monks were voiced by Chris Seavor.
Wayne and the Wankas
Wayne is the leader of a criminal gang of Wasps known as the "Wankas" who live at the top of a hill in the "Windy" chapter. They often steal Mrs. Bee's hive, only to have it taken back by Conker. They are invincible unless shot by the hive's guns. Oddly enough the same wasps appear later in the game, despite having been shot dead near the beginning. All three wasps were voiced by Chris Seavor.
Green Imps wearing armor. There are three types. Barrel Imps that are only in Conker: Live & Reloaded that are weak and easily killed. Metal Imps, which cannot be killed in Bad Fur Day and are in a few places. In Live & Reloaded, they are roaming the same places as Bad Fur Day but they are replaced with Black Armored Imps, which can't be killed. Sometimes in Conker: Live & Reloaded, you see Silver Armored Imps, these may die too.
Fire Imps are come across once in the "Bats Tower" chapter as they dance around trying to burn Conker. They look like the armored imps without armor, and red/orange with flames on their backs. The Imps are drunk and smoking cigars when Conker walks into the room, they proceed to chase him giggling manically. Fire Imps are immune to physical beatings (as Conker soon realises) and they are harmed by Conker urinating on them. They are voiced by Chris Seavor.
Only in Live & Reloaded, Possessed Dolls are present in a spot in Barn Boys and in Spooky. They are clay dolls, and act like zombies, but can be killed with a baseball bat or a shotgun, making a "porcelain" smashing sound on defeat. Many people call them "Demon Babies", for they look like possessed babies. Some may also call them porcelain zombies or porcelian babies.
TNT Imps are the only imps that are not hostile towards Conker and are an important portion of a puzzle in the "It's War" chapter. They are small, depressed imps that have an enormous keg of TNT strapped to their back, which Conker has to guide to various points to set off explosive chain reactions. They are voiced by Chris Seavor.
Undead villagers, or Zombies, are encountered in the Spooky chapter. They can only be killed by blowing up their heads with the shotgun. Their legs can be shot to force them to crawl. There are male and female zombies as well as "children zombies" which are about 50% the size of the "adult" zombies. They are available through cheat in multiplayer free-for-all mode.
Carl is an impudent, sex-starved cog with multiple personalities. His "other half", Quentin, is a polite, seemingly gay cog that actually tells Conker what to do instead of telling him to "@#$% off" all the time. Conker switches their personalities by turning the cog; the stogie in Carl's mouth turns into a long, fancy cigarette holder when Quentin is speaking, and vice versa.Quentin tells Conker that Carl wants you to bring three female cogs to him. When Carl falls on the floor, these female cogs get their revenge, so they get him anally raped by Mr. Big Cog, but Quentin enjoys it. They're both voiced by Chris Seavor.
Three cogs, each colored red, blue, and green. They are the reason for Carl's sex-starved personality. When you bring one to him, he groans in a sexual fashion. They later beat him and place Carl on Mr. Big Cog. In the ending scene they are seen in the throne room.
Barry and Co.
Barry the bat is only in the game for a very brief period in "Barn Boys" and "Bat's Tower", but he is nevertheless a major player. As a result, he is often considered at least a minor character. His buddies, who are other bats, are enemies in the game. They speak in high-pitched squeaks, but their talk balloons appear in English, and their curse words are still censored.
Ugas are a tribe of cavemen who appear throughout "Uga Buga". They are enemies and allies in the game, who live a lifestyle similar to that of Ancient Romans (Worshiping Idols, Gladiator fights, etc.). They use bone clubs and hate the rock men. Their gibberish is voiced by Chris Seavor.
Rock men live alongside the Ugas, but they never get along. Constantly feuding with their rivals, these golems enjoy alcohol and nightclubs. It is a Rock Man that captures Berri. They can only be defeated when in their ball forms, which are also used to solve puzzles. Despite the name, there are female individuals as well.
Fajo the Money
Fajo is the name of cash bundles. They are more like items, but they have eyes and are able to move and speak. They often insult or cajole Conker. Whenever they are given to another character by Conker, they remark that they don't like their new home and jump back over to Conker. These are often rewards for achieving goals and are needed to progress through the game. They are voiced by Chris Seavor. They probably got their name from the Spanish word "fajo", which means "a handful (of bills)".
Mr. and Mrs. Bee
Mrs. Bee is a recurring queen bee who often has her hive stolen by wasps. She often charges Conker to retrieve it. Mrs. Bee is rich and generally nice but unattractive. Mr. Bee left her for a sunflower (which doesn't surprise Conker). He apparently married her for financial support. Mr. Bee appears in "Barn Boys", in a decrepit and pathetic state, and asks Conker to help him "pollinate" the sunflower. Mrs. Bee is killed after the War level, seen to be crushed (along with her hive) by the windmill that was blown apart when Rodent came flying from the exploding island. Mr & Mrs Bee are voiced by Chris Seavor
A large, anthropomorphic sunflower that's found in "Barn Boys". Mr. Bee left his wife to be with her. The Sunflower has large breasts that she conceals from Conker, but he is able to make her uncover them with the help of some pacifist bees that like to tickle people rather than sting them. After Mr. Bee "pollinates" her, she offers Conker a "bounce" on her breasts, which Conker uses to get some money in a high alcove. The Sunflower is voiced by Louise Ridgeway.
A school of haughty catfish that offer Conker 10% of a large sum of money (which turns out to just be $10) if he can restrain a vicious bulldog-fish that wants to eat them. The bulldog-fish eventually escapes and kills them, but their "souls" appear at the beginning of the Spooky chapter, where Gregg is swiping at them with his scythe ("I don't bloody believe it. They've got fish versions of the little bastards now.")
The Gargoyle appears towards the end of the "Hungover" chapter. He sits on a bridge leading to Fairy Panther Kingdom, blocking Conker, who needs to cross the bridge to get home. However, the Gargoyle refuses to move because he got comfy. Once Conker got a frying pan he whacked the Gargoyle. Looking like it had no effect on him, he laughed, then he loses his balance and falls off the bridge, crashing in a pond making Conker able to cross the bridge. In Conker: Live & Reloaded, when Conker hit the Gargoyle with the frying pan, it had absolutely no effect on him (because "the designer decided to change the training level a bit, to fool the audience into thinking that the rest of the game would also be different"), thus calling Conker a "Stupid little twat." Then Conker pulled out a baseball bat and whacked the Gargoyle over the head with it. Instead of falling off the bridge, he falls backwards into the wall behind him, making a shockwave causing a huge boulder to fall on him. The Gargoyle is voiced by Chris Seavor.
Marvin the mouse is a neutral character in the chapter "Barn Boys" that frightens a large, pink, metal crate causing her to hide on top of a smaller metal crate named Jack. Jack tells Conker to get rid of Marvin. Conker will have to go to a cheese farm owned by Jack's friend Burt. Burt opens the gate letting Conker into the cheese pen. His belching and farting cause Conker to vomit when close to his gases. By feeding Marvin three pieces of cheese, he will explode. The female crate jumps off of Jack allowing Conker to get to the top of the barn. Marvin later appears in the ending cutscene, apparently stitched up and still having a fixation on cheese. Chris Seavor voiced him.
Ron & Reg
Ron & Reg are a talking paint can and a paintbrush (respectively), neutral characters in the chapter "Barn Boys" who are supposedly Frankie's friends, but they treat him like dirt and make him "Kick Ass" at anyone who entered the barn. After Frankie failed to defeat Conker, they suggested he should kill himself. Right when Franky hangs himself, they then start mocking his decision to kill himself, as he doesn't even have a neck. After Conker leaves the barn, Haybot arrives and starts to (again) wander aimlessly throughout the barn, much to Ron and Reg's horror. Afterwards, Conker frees Franky from his hung position (albeit in a dangerous manner), causing them to both laugh at his falling down, and to insult and berate Conker. A bit of a joke is that they put on Executioner uniforms and take them off for a split second when Franky mentioned that it was like executioners. Also, when they start laughing at both Frankie and Conker, Conker gets annoyed and proceeds to (forcibly) place Reg into Ron's mouth. The last time they are seen is when they praise Conker as the King in the ending.
A running gag during the game is that Reg has an annoying habit of repeating everything Ron says. It's interesting to note that, although "shit" was usually uncensored in the N64 version of the game, Ron and Reg are some of the few characters in both versions whose uses of that word are censored, the other being the fatter weasel guard that tries to capture Conker on his way to the Uga Buga volcano. They were both voiced by Chris Seavor.
The Villagers / French Squirrels
Encountered during the Spooky chapter of the game, the villagers are grey squirrels and come from an unspecified village as their name suggests. Aware of Count Batula's vampire nature, they attack his mansion while Conker is visiting it. As they break in, Batula transforms Conker into a bat and orders him to throw as many villagers he can into the grinder, so Batula can drink their blood.
Using the same character models are the French squirrels, which are a playable faction in multiplayer : they are persecuted by the Tediz and supported by the "American" squirrels (SHC ; see above). In the Beach multiplayer mode, they must run through Tediz defences to get in the Tedi base garage, where a truck waits there to get them to Paris. If the French squirrel win the game, they are shown cheering themselves and shouting "Vive la France !" in front of a Paris promotional ad. Should the Tediz win against them, they are shown in custody within what seems to be a POW camp or even a concentration camp while Tediz troops parade in front of them. Since this mode doesn't appear in the Xbox remake, the Frenchies are unheard of in Live & Reloaded. Villagers / Frenchies are available for through cheat in free-for-all games in the N64 version.