|This article does not cite any references or sources. (December 2009)|
|'Allo 'Allo! character|
|First appearance||The Funeral|
|Last appearance||A Winkle in Time|
|Portrayed by||Kenneth Connor|
|Occupation||Undertaker & Deputy Mayor|
Monsieur Alfonse is Nouvion's undertaker, first being seen when local hero René Artois fakes his own death. Alfonse quickly falls in love with the latter's wife, Edith, and René has to propose to Edith or lose his café as everyone believes he is dead.
Alfonse also has a small fortune in a Swiss bank account; therefore, Edith's mother agrees with the match, as Alfonse would make a better husband financially. He is also the functioning mayor of Nouvion, he owns the local hairdresser and vineyard.
The undertaker's catchphrase is "Swiftly and with style", while announcing his services. In addition, he also has a "dicky ticker", which comes on every time something stressful (or arousing) happens, and also suffers from the less publicised "tricky truss". He admires René for all the brave work he does for the Resistance, whom he also helps now and then, and agrees to admire Edith from afar. When he finds out about René's affair with waitress Yvette he tells Edith, but René manages to fob her off with another excuse.
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