Monto (Take Her Up to Monto)
Well, if you've got a wing-o,
Take her up to Ring-o
Where the waxies sing-o all the day;
If you've had your fill of porter, And you can't go any further
Give your man the order: "Back to the Quay!" And take her up to Monto, Monto, Monto
Take her up to Monto, lan-ge-roo,
To you! Have you heard of Buckshot Forster,
The dirty old impostor
Took a mot and lost her, up the Furry Glen.
He first put on his bowler
And buttoned up his trousers,
Then whistled for a growler and he said, "My man!" Take me up to Monto, Monto, Monto
Take me up to Monto, lan-ge-roo,
To you! You've seen the Dublin Fusiliers,
The dirty old bamboozeleers,
De Wet'll kill them chiselers, one, two, three.
Marching from the Linen Hall
There's one for every cannonball,
And Vicky's going to send them all, o'er the sea. But first go up to Monto, Monto, Monto
March them up to Monto, lan-ge-roo,
To you! When Carey told on Skin-the-goat,
O'Donnell caught him on the boat
He wished he'd never been afloat, the dirty skite.
It wasn't very sensible
To tell on the Invincibles
They stand up for their principles, day and night. And you'll find them all in Monto, Monto, Monto
Standing up in Monto, lan-ge-roo,
To you! Now when the Tsar of Russia
And the King of Prussia
Landed in the Phoenix in a big balloon,
They asked the police band
To play "The Wearin' of the Green"
But the buggers from the depot didn't know the tune. So they both went up to Monto, Monto, Monto
Scarpered up to Monto, lan-ge-roo,
To you! The Queen she came to call on us,
She wanted to see all of us
I'm glad she didn't fall on us, she's eighteen stone.
"Mister Me Lord Mayor," says she,
"Is this all you've got to show me?"
"Why, no ma'am there's some more to see, Póg mo thóin! (Kiss my arse)" And he took her up Monto, Monto, Monto
He set her up in Monto, lan-ge-roo,
- The Story of Monto by John Finegan. The Mercier Press, Dublin, 1978.