Never Too Young to Die
|Never Too Young to Die|
|Directed by||Gil Bettman|
|Screenplay by||Steven Paul|
|Story by||Steven Paul|
|Produced by||Steven Paul|
|Edited by||Paul Seydor|
|Music by||Lennie Niehaus|
|Distributed by||Paul Entertainment|
Never Too Young to Die is a 1986 American action-adventure comedy film directed by Gil Bettman. It stars John Stamos as Lance Stargrove, a young man who, with the help of secret agent Danja Deering (played by singer Vanity, also known as Denise Matthews) must avenge the death of his secret-agent father (George Lazenby) at the hands of evil hermaphrodite Velvet Von Ragnar (Gene Simmons).
- John Stamos as Lance Stargrove
- Vanity as Danja Deering
- Gene Simmons as Carruthers, Velvet Von Ragnar
- Robert Englund as Riley
- George Lazenby as Drew Stargrove
- Peter Kwong as Cliff
- Ed Brock as Pyramid
- John Anderson as Arliss
- Randy Hall as Minkie
- Branscombe Richmond as Minkie's Partner
Brian Salisbury of Film School Rejects called Stamos's performance "quite flat and dull. He seems as if he rolled out of bed and directly onto set without having read a single page of the script." He criticized the film's depiction of the punk subculture as inaccurate, but called it "the kind of film that could only exist in the 80s", and noted "Gene Simmons' insane-but-somehow-captivating-in-a-way-that-will-cost-my-therapist-thousands-of-hours-of-his-life performance".
Rob Dean of The A.V. Club called the film "an incredible schlockfest in plot, characterization, and pretty much every other component of filmmaking", and wrote that "it has certainly left an indelible mark on many hearts of those who love cheesy action flicks."
In a retrospective assessment of the film, Stamos has stated: "It's the perfect midnight-movie, where people can come and dress up. It's — what's the term I'm looking for? — the best worst thing you will ever see".
- "Never Too Young to Die (1986) - Overview - TCM.com". Turner Classic Movies. Retrieved February 16, 2016.
- Salisbury, Brian (November 4, 2011). "Junkfood Cinema: Never Too Young to Die". Film School Rejects. Retrieved February 17, 2020.
- Dean, Rob (June 13, 2016). "Hey turdballs—celebrate the 30th anniversary of schlockfest Never Too Young To Die". The A.V. Club. Retrieved February 17, 2020.
- Abramovitch, Seth (November 4, 2015). "Hollywood Flashback: John Stamos, Gene Simmons Recall Insane 1986 Bomb 'Never Too Young to Die'". The Hollywood Reporter. Retrieved February 17, 2020.