No Deposit, No Return

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This article is about the film made in 1976. For the short film made in 2004, see No Deposit, No Return (2004 film). For the 1989 Wrathchild America song, see Climbin' the Walls.
No Deposit, No Return
No Deposit, No Return FilmPoster.jpeg
Directed by Norman Tokar
Produced by Ron Miller
Written by Arthur Alsberg
Don Nelson
Starring David Niven
Darren McGavin
Don Knotts
Herschel Bernardi
Charles Martin Smith
Barbara Feldon
Kim Richards
Brad Savage
Music by Buddy Baker
Cinematography Frank V. Phillips
Edited by Cotton Warburton
Distributed by Buena Vista Distribution
Release dates
February 5, 1976 (1976-02-05)
Running time
112 minutes
Country United States
Language English

No Deposit, No Return is a 1976 comedy film directed by Norman Tokar. It was written by Arthur Alsberg and Don Nelson. It is the story of two children (Tracy and Jay) who hold themselves for ransom, reluctantly aided by a couple of inept petty criminals, an expert safecracker (Duke) who somehow never manages to steal anything, and his bungling sidekick (Bert).


It is the beginning of the Easter holidays for brother and sister Tracy and Jay. However, it begins with disappointment as they hear their mother, whom they had expected to pick them up from school, is in fact in Hong Kong. Before she left, she made plans that the two children spend the vacation with their grandfather, Los Angeles billionaire J. W. Osborne. This does not excite the children, a reaction equal to that of Osborne himself, who has bad experiences with the children, and takes steps to ensure the same level of chaos is not repeated.

As Tracy and Jay travel on the plane to Los Angeles, Jay realizes he has mislaid his pet skunk, Duster. In the horror and panic ensuing from the loss, Osborne's loyal butler, Mr. Jamieson, fails to meet them at the airport, and the children make their escape in a taxi. Meanwhile, at the same airport, safe-crackers and robbers Duke and Bert sneak their way into the airport offices and attempt to crack the airport safe. However, after having successfully opening it, Bert catches the door with his arm, locking it. Out of time, they make their escape out of the airport, only to discover their escape vehicle has been towed. They scramble for a taxi, and end up sharing it with Tracy and Jay.

At Duke and Bert's apartment, Duke attempts to shake them off but, through Tracy's excellent play acting, his better nature prevails and he invites the children to spend the night. Unawares to the children, Osborne managed to catch sight of them as they left the taxi, and followed them all the way to Duke and Bert's. Osborne makes the decision that because the children appear to be in no immediate danger, he should leave them where they are.

The next day Tracy decides that she and Jay are to follow their mother to Hong Kong, and devises a plan to pay for their plane travel by mailing Osborne a fake ransom note, demanding $100,000 by 4.00pm that same day. Meanwhile, Duke and Bert receive a visit from Big Joe, a local gangster to whom they owe money. The amount owed has shot up considerably since the three last spoke and will continue to go up whilst they still haven't paid money. Joe reminds Duke he has 72 hours to pay it back. Desperate, they go along with Tracy's plan, but fail to get any money due to Osborne knowing about the scam all along.

Tracy does not give up however, and makes a bogus call to the L.A.P.D insinuating a kidnapping. This puts Sergeant Turner onto the case, an officer hell-bent on catching Duke, who is known to the police by the method he uses to open safes, and for having not stolen anything. It also brings Carolyn, Tracy and Jay's mother, back to America, demanding an explanation as to how the children have gone missing. Upon hearing of a meeting to exchange kids for money, she demands they go to it. Time is running out for Duke and Bert. After several negotiations, the ransom is considerably lower, and a meeting is arranged by the docks, exchanging money in exchange for the children. Sgt. Turner heavily advises Osborne to do nothing, and allow the police to solve the case. So Turner and Longnecker go to the deal. However, just as the deal takes place, Osborne and Carolyn turn up, exposing Turner's plan. Duke clocks on to their plan before they are caught, and a frantic car chase through the docks ensues. Carolyn leaps into the back of Duke and Bert's car as they speed off, and is then made aware that her children are in no immediate danger. The chase ends in Sgt Turner's deputy, Detective Longnecker, writing off the police cruiser and driving it into the water.

Tracy and Jay make it back to Osborne's, having successfully averted Big Joe. They go into his safe and hide when they hear him coming, but find themselves in big trouble when Jamieson shuts the safe and locks it. Duke, Bert and Carolyn have traced the children back to the house and find Jamieson, who claims the children are not in the house. Carolyn is not convinced, and a sighting of Duster proves her theory. None of them know the combination to the safe however, and have only a short amount of time before the air in the safe runs out. Its then up to Duke to use his safe-cracking skills to open the safe. Sgt. Turner then arrives at the house and, upon witnessing Duke crack a safe to save the children, decides not to arrest him. Osborne then pays off Duke and Bert's debts, and reconciles with his children while some hint of romance between Duke and Carolyn starts to develop.


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