Notes of a Dirty Old Man
Notes of a Dirty Old Man (1969) is a collection of underground newspaper columns written by Charles Bukowski for the Open City newspaper that were collated and published by Essex House in 1969. His short articles were marked by his trademark crude humor, as well as his attempts to present a "truthful" or objective viewpoint of various events in his life and his own subjective responses to those events. The series is currently published by City Lights Publishing Company but can also be found in Portions from a Wine-Stained Notebook, which is a collection of all of Bukowski's wide ranging works.
Bukowski uses his own life as the basis for his series of articles, and characteristically leaves nothing out. The different stories range from hooking up with the wife of a stranger who invites him over for dinner and to admire his work, to Bukowski's versions of "debates" with other writers at "Open City". Bukowski goes through life and each event without caring about the consequences of his actions. He is almost always alone aside from the occasional prostitute that he invites over. A few times, generous people who admire his writings will allow him to stay with them rent free. He does not understand why people enjoy his writings so much. As soon as he starts to get too close to these families or hosts he will leave without notice and go on to find a new place to stay. Bukowski does whatever he wants when he wants without wondering what people might think of him. However, he does mention that he does not want readers to feel sorry for him, which is why he includes crude comedy along with each story. He always has some type of alcohol with him that allows him to be as carefree as he is. Whether he is drinking while writing his stories and poetry, or showing up to work and meetings already drunk, every story incorporates his vigorous drinking habits because it is such a large part of his life.
A Dirty Old Man Confesses
Along with the series Notes of a Dirty Old Man, Portions From a Wine-Stained Notebook includes another deep look into Charles Bukowski's life. It is a lengthened version of Notes of a Dirty Old Man that is more of an autobiography about him becoming a writer than a short story. It is called A Dirty Old Man Confesses. In this short autobiography, Notes of a Dirty Old Man is put more into perspective on when it is occurring in Bukowski's life. It is a more personal and serious way for readers and fans to get to know more about the author and how he lived. It begins during his early childhood by explaining the difficult relationship that he had with his father. His father whipped him for the slightest reasons whenever he got the chance. Bukowski became numb from the pain and began isolating himself from everyone around him, even other children at school. Eventually he was able to move out on his own and began entering drinking and gambling contests because he found he was very good at it. He began his cycle of getting kicked out and moving into different homes and hotels (which is elaborated more on in Notes of a Dirty Old Man). His life would go downhill fast until his writing career became slightly successful and then go downhill again; his article was published in Story and other magazines, the underground newspaper published his stories, and then eventually by Essex House. In between each success he would get crappy jobs, drink more than usual and bum off of anyone who would let him.
- "Can't they see through my skin, can't they see that I am nothing?"
- "I became another drunk, thinking of suicide, sitting in little rooms for days with all the shades down, wondering what was out there and what was wrong with it- not knowing whether to blame it on my father or myself or them."
- "The people walk with such an indifference I begin to hate them, but then again I've never really been fond of anything."
- "They will kill him because he has not died at all. I have died nine-tenths but keep the other one-tenth like a gun."
- "Find what you love and let it kill you."
In the novel
Alcoholism is very prevalent in both of Bukowski's Dirty Old Man pieces. He displays many of the outcomes that most people with alcoholism show as well: self-control problems, difficulty in identifying feelings, apathy toward external reality, difficulty in emotional processing, and more depressed and/or anxious, and a face deformed by its abuses. However, Alcoholism is not an issue that Bukowski worries about, it is just a way of life for him that he does not want to change. It is also not viewed as a negative issue for him.
- Pierre Maurage Ph.D; et al. (2008). "The Auditory-Visual Integration of Anger is impaired in Alcoholism: an Event-Related Potentials Study" (PDF). Journal of Psychiatry and Neuroscience. 33 (2): 111–122. PMID 18330457.