Platter (album)

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Platter (Jock Cheese album - cover art).jpg
Studio album by Jock Cheese
Released 6 January 2003
Recorded 1999-2001
Genre Alternative rock
Length 69:31
Label Shock Records
TISM chronology
De Rigueurmortis
The White Albun

Platter is a solo album released in 2003 by TISM bassist Jock Cheese.[1] All the songs were written by Cheese and fellow TISM members Ron Hitler-Barassi[2] and Humphrey B. Flaubert. Cheese plays most of the instruments, excluding drums.

Platter features social commentary and satire that is also prominent in TISM's works with satirical references to Christopher Skase, Josh Abrahams and Robert Palmer.[3]

The songs "I Done It with the Drama Teacher" and "Piss in My Pocket" were released as singles, with other tracks from the album as B-sides, to promote the album.[4] Tracks 13-19 are instrumental versions of selected tracks from the album.

Holt would tour with a band called "Jock Cheese and the Crackers" in 2003 to promote the album.

Part of the lyrics to "Unfair" were used as an unlisted spoken-word intro to TISM's 2001 album De Rigueurmortis, which preceded Platter. "Totally Addicted to Skase" was written in 1999 and performed at secret TISM concerts in 2000.

Track listing[edit]

All tracks written by John Holt, Peter Minack and Damian Cowell.

No. Title Length
1. "Up There Calisi" 4:03
2. "Don't Burn 'Em All J.D." 4:51
3. "La Traviata" 3:27
4. "Totally Addicted to Skase" 3:37
5. "I Done It with the Drama Teacher" 3:30
6. "Dave Graney's Country Idyll" 3:41
7. ""Why Don't You Get A Bigger Set Of Tits?"[nb 1]" 4:32
8. "Friday Night Shakespeare" 4:49
9. "Unfair" 3:10
10. "O Great Rabbit in the Sky" 3:32
11. "Piss in My Pocket" 2:43
12. "You Guarantee Fame with Two First Names" (The song is 4:04. The remaining 1:30 is silence.) 5:35
13. "Just The Straight Dope" (Instrumental) (Don't Burn 'Em All J.D.) 3:43
14. "Just The Straight Dope" (Instrumental) (Dave Graney's Country Idyll) 3:23
15. "Just The Straight Dope" (Instrumental) (Piss in My Pocket) 2:38
16. "Just The Straight Dope" (Instrumental) (Totally Addicted to Skase) 3:00
17. "Just The Straight Dope" (Instrumental) (La Traviata) 3:12
18. "Just The Straight Dope" (Instrumental) (Unfair) 2:54
19. "Just The Straight Dope" (Instrumental) (You Guarantee Fame with Two First Names) 3:10


  • All songs written by John Holt, Peter Minack and Damian Cowell
  • John Holt - vocals, guitar, bass, keyboards
  • Venom - drums
  • James Paull - classical guitar on "I Done It With the Drama Teacher"
  • Programmed by Robert Bell
  • Additional keyboards by Laurence Maddy


  1. ^ Ron mentions in the In Press interview that he wishes to do a solo album: "Yeah, I think so. It would be Wayne Carey reading Helen Garner's The First Stone - Ron Hitler Barassi Presents Wayne Carey Reading Helen Garner's The First Stone. And I'd just be mumbling in the background, 'Grow a bigger set of tits'... I don't think it will sell."


  1. ^ Solo Album For TISM's Jock Cheese at the Wayback Machine (archived 15 January 2003) (article) (2003). Retrieved on 2008-07-07.
  2. ^ Balaclava Road Warriors at the Wayback Machine (archived 25 October 2009) (Interview) Originally from In Press Magazine Published on: 1998-07-08. Retrieved on 2008-07-28.
  3. ^ Jock Cheese: The Cheese Platter: The Undercover Review at the Wayback Machine (archived 26 February 2003) (article) (2003). Retrieved on 2008-07-07.
  4. ^ "Internet Archive Wayback Machine". 2006-09-13. Archived from the original on 13 September 2006. Retrieved 2012-03-05.