Play party (BDSM)

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In BDSM culture, a play party is a social event in which attendees engage in BDSM activities and socialize with like-minded people.[1][2][3] Organizers often provide certain large pieces of BDSM equipment to which people can be bound or restrained while the party goers usually bring their own whips, canes, restraints etc.[2][3] Generally there is an area for drinking and socializing, an area for changing into more appropriate attire (such as fetishwear), and an area for "play" or sexually arousing activities.[4] Here there are usually dungeon monitors who enforce party rules[5] such as safe, sane and consensual and risk-aware consensual kink.[2]

It is not mandatory to play at a party,[1] instead attendees are welcome to merely take the role of a voyeur.[4] It is not acceptable, however, to touch anyone or their BDSM equipment or sex toys without permission or to interrupt a scene in any way.[4]

A play party can be a place for safer first date scenes.[2] Often a Do Not Invite List is kept of persistent rule breakers so that participants can know they are in safe company.[5]

Some play parties have open invitations, others are restricted to members of a BDSM club or people known to the organizers. There may also be a dress code (such as no street clothes), or restrictions on admission such as couples only or no unattached males. Some charge an admission fee, while laws in some areas may not allow a fee, but may take donations, or payment in advance (by some prior date.)[citation needed]

The amount and kind of sexual contact allowed varies from party to party and city to city, depending on local laws regarding sexual contact, "bawdy houses" and public nudity. At some parties, penetrative sex may be allowed, while at others full nudity may be banned.[citation needed] In 2000, A party in Attleboro, Massachusetts was invaded by police for alleged violations of assault and morality laws.[6]

See also[edit]


  1. ^ a b Brame G. (2001) Come Hither! A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex, Fusion Press, London, page 63.
  2. ^ a b c d "Moser C., Demystifying alternative sexual behaviors, in Sexuality, Reproduction & Menopause, Volume 4, Issue 2". October 2006. Retrieved 2008-05-09.
  3. ^ a b "Moser C., A Glossary of Terms Used by Sexual Minorities, reproduced from San Francisco Medicine, Volume 71, No. 10". November–December 1998. Archived from the original on 2008-06-05. Retrieved 2008-05-09. Cite uses deprecated parameter |deadurl= (help)
  4. ^ a b c Newman F. (2004) The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide, Cleis Press, San Francisco, page 271-277.
  5. ^ a b "Van de Mark B., Energy exchange, in The Gay & Lesbian Times". 3 March 2005. Archived from the original on 25 May 2011. Retrieved 2008-05-09. Cite uses deprecated parameter |deadurl= (help)
  6. ^ Paddleboro by Michelle Chihara -