A purity ball is an American formal dance event attended by fathers and their daughters which promotes virginity until marriage for teenage girls. Typically, daughters who attend a purity ball make a virginity pledge to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. Fathers who attend a purity ball make a promise to protect their young daughters' "purity of mind, body, and soul." Proponents of these events contend that they encourage close and deeply affectionate relationships between fathers and daughters, thereby avoiding the premarital sexual activity that allegedly results when young women seek love through relationships with young men. Critics assert that the balls promulgate messages encroaching upon women's freedom, promote anti-feminist ideals, and ignore homosexuality. They also assert that purity balls define a woman's worth by her virginity rather than her whole being, actions and attitudes, and emphasize her role as a possession to be passed by her father to her husband.
In 1998, the first purity ball was organized by Randy and Lisa Wilson in Colorado Springs, Colorado, United States of America. This event was created for the Wilsons' five daughters and the fathers that he viewed as not having a place in their daughters' lives.
The ceremony is a formal event as daughters get dressed up in ball gowns, and the evening typically consists of dinner, a keynote speaker, ballroom dancing and a vow for fathers and daughters. The girls can range in age from their college years to four years old; however, the majority of girls are “just old enough… [to] have begun menstruating” as purity ball guidelines advise. Some ceremonies state a minimum age requirement.
The ceremonies traditionally begin with a formal dinner, followed by a keynote speech and the ritualized chastity pledges. Although the chastity pledges differ between organisations, the purity balls held by the creator of the concept, Pastor Randy Wilson, follow a symbolic ritual. Each father or mentor pledges to shield and protect his daughter; to live a pure life himself as a man, husband, and father; and, to be a man of integrity and responsibility as he acts as a role model for his family. The father's protecting role over the daughter’s virginity is emphasized throughout the night, as Wilson states “Fathers, our daughters are waiting for us… They are desperately waiting for us in a culture that lures them into the murky waters of exploitation. They need to be rescued by you, their dad.” One widely used pledge for fathers reads: “I, (daughter’s name)’s father, choose before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity. I will be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father. I will be a man of integrity and accountability as I lead, guide and pray over my daughter and my family as the high priest in my home. This covering will be used by God to influence generations to come.”
Remembrance gifts are given at some ceremonies to represent the girl’s promise of chastity and the father’s oath to protect her and guide her in her lifestyle. One form of token is a charm bracelet or necklace in the shape of a heart for the girl and a key for her father, which symbolizes the father’s duty to protect the young girl’s heart, only giving away the key to her husband on her wedding day. The ceremonies close with a father-daughter waltz which aims to solidify the bond between father and daughter and elucidate the promoters' concept of a "proper date". Lisa Wilson, wife to Randy Wilson and co-founder of Generations of Light, a popular Christian ministry in Colorado Springs, states “We wanted to set a standard of dignity and honor for the way the girls should be treated by the men in their lives”.
Wilson advises fathers to praise their daughters' physical attractiveness: "I applaud your courage to look your daughter in the eye and tell her how beautiful she is." Participants are described as "dates", and, according to Glamour magazine, could be mistaken for heterosexual romantic partners in the absence of information about their consanguinity.
Beliefs and rationale
Advocates of purity balls assert that they promote physical, psychological, and spiritual integrity. Randy Wilson, one of the co-founders of the purity ball, states that "The idea was to model what the relationship can be as a daughter grows from a child to an adult. You come in closer, become available to answer whatever questions she has." Wilson did not want virginity pledges to become characteristic elements of purity balls as he questions the wisdom of such promises: "It heaps guilt upon them. If they fail, you've made it worse for them." In an interview with Anderson Cooper, Wilson said that purity balls encourage fathers to participate in their daughters' lives, provide guidance, and teach coping skills.
Writer and feminist Eve Ensler criticizes purity balls for implying that fathers, rather than young women themselves, have the freedom to control whether and with whom the young women engage in sexual intercourse. Glamour claims that National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health data supports the conclusion that teenagers making virginity pledges, including those promulgated through purity balls, usually do not adhere to the required standard of chastity, and are less prepared to utilize safe sex practises to mitigate the risks when engaging in sexual activity. Furthermore, Glamour states that the percentage of teenagers in a given area who have made virginity pledges is positively correlated with the frequency with which sexually transmitted infections occur. An article in Time magazine says that there is a scientific controversy as to the efficacy of the virginity pledges at purity balls.
Opponents of purity balls claim that they encroach upon women’s freedom of choice to date whom they please and to make their own independent decisions without the help of men. In this view, the philosophy of purity balls implies that young girls are not capable of making their own choices. Jennifer Freitag, a Southern Illinois University Carbondale doctoral student, argues that, from a feminist perspective, the purity ball ritual can be considered sexist discrimination as it rarely applies to men, and ignores whether women desire heterosexual marriages. Freitag further asserts that the purity balls and virginity pledges give women fewer opportunities to explore their future mates and presume that the girls will marry men, ignoring lesbianism, bisexuality, and transsexualism. Also, Freitag claims that purity balls have psychological elements of father-daughter incest.
Conservative journalist Betsy Hart supports the idea of sexual abstinence prior to marriage. However, she has expressed concerns that purity balls are pervaded by a preoccupation with physical chastity which may inadvertently imbue the social construction of girls attending them with erotic attributes. She claims that this "sexualizing" shifts attention away from maintenance of the internal moral and spiritual virtue which she believes is required by the tenets of the Christian faith.
- Would you pledge your virginity to your father?; Glamour; January, 2007; Jennifer Baumgardner.
- "Daddy's Little Girl". Retrieved March 23, 2012.
- The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women by Jessica Valenti
- "The Pursuit of Teen Purity". Time. July 17, 2008. Retrieved March 15, 2012.
- "Generations of Light". Retrieved March 18, 2012.
- "The Pursuit of Teen Girl Purity". Archived from the original on December 8, 2013. Retrieved March 25, 2012.
- "Would You Pledge Your Virginity to Your Father?". Retrieved March 22, 2012.
- "Father Daughter Purity Ball". Retrieved March 22, 2012.
- Banerjee, Neela (May 19, 2008). "Dancing the Night Away, With a Higher Purpose". The New York Times. Retrieved 2014-01-28.
- "The Pledge". Retrieved March 18, 2012.
- "Purity Myth". Why is the pressure to Be Pure only on Women?. Retrieved March 22, 2012.
- The Pursuit of Teen Girl Purity; Time Magazine; July 17, 2008; Nancy Gibbs
- "Father-Daughter Purity Balls Still Drawing Crowds, Criticisms". Retrieved March 23, 2012.
- Betsy Hart (Feb 3, 2007). "Hart: Girl's sexuality is personal property".