Rumpology

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Rumpology or bottom reading is a pseudoscience akin to physiognomy, performed by examining crevices, dimples, warts, moles and folds of a person's buttocks in much the same way a chirologist would read the palm of the hand.[1]

History[edit]

The term rumpology is a neologism. The American astrologer Jackie Stallone claims that rumpology is known to have been practiced in ancient times by the Babylonians, the Indians, and the Ancient Greeks and Romans,[2] although she provides no evidence for this claim. Stallone has been largely responsible for the supposed "revival" of rumpology in modern times.[citation needed]

Theory and practice[edit]

Rumpologists have a variety of theories as to the meaning of different posterior characteristics. According to Stallone, the left and right buttocks reveal a person's past and future, respectively, although she has also commented that "The crack of your behind corresponds to the division of the two hemispheres of the brain".[3] According to blind German clairvoyant and rumpologist Ulf Beck, an "apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life. A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, patient and down-to-earth."[4] The British rumpologist Sam Amos claims that "A round bottom indicates the person is open, happy and optimistic in life. However, a flat bottom suggests the person is rather vain and is negative and sad."[5]

Rumpology can be performed either by sight, touch or by using buttock prints.[2] In addition to live readings, Jackie Stallone will perform buttock readings using e-mailed digital photographs,[6] and has claimed to predict the outcome of Presidential elections and Oscar awards by reading the bottoms of her two pet Doberman Pinschers.[7] Ulf Buck claims he can read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks.[4]

See also[edit]

References[edit]

  1. ^ Carrol, Robert Todd. "Rumplogy for Dummies". The Skeptic's Dictionary.
  2. ^ a b "Jacqueline Stallone's Rumpology Reports!". Retrieved 2007-06-05.
  3. ^ Reiter, Amy (September 13, 1999). "This is Sly's mom on crack". Salon.com.
  4. ^ a b Tattersall, Nick (July 9, 2003). "Blind Psychic Gropes Buttocks to See Future". Sounding Circle. Reuters. Archived from the original on July 8, 2007. Retrieved 2007-04-25.
  5. ^ "Have a rumpologist read your bottom". Metro. January 5, 2009.
  6. ^ "rumpology". The Skeptic's Dictionary.
  7. ^ Reiter, Amy (March 21, 2001). "Streisand: Stallone's mom's butt prints are hot!". Salon.com.

External links[edit]