Super Hornio Brothers

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Super Hornio Brothers
Super Hornio Brothers II
SuperHornioBrothersVHSCovers.jpg
VHS covers to both films
Directed by Buck Adams
Produced by Midnight Video
Written by Cash Markman
(Marc Cushman)
Starring Buck Adams
T. T. Boy
Don Fernando
Ron Jeremy
Krysti Lynn
Chelsea Lynx
Kitty Yung
Release date
  • 1993 (1993)
Running time
78 minutes (Super Hornio Brothers)
73 minutes (Super Hornio Brothers II)
Country United States
Language English

Super Hornio Brothers and Super Hornio Brothers II are two 1993 pornographic parodies of the Super Mario franchise, released at the same time as the franchise's official film. Both films star director Buck Adams, along with T. T. Boy, Ron Jeremy and Chelsea Lynx together as the main characters. The films gained new interest after a write-up by a Something Awful reviewer. Nintendo bought them to halt their distribution.[1][2]

Plot[edit]

Super Hornio Brothers[edit]

Computer programmer Squeegie Hornio (Ron Jeremy) and his brother Ornio Hornio (T.T. Boy) are teleported into Squeegie's in-development computer game after a freak power overload. After regaining their bearings, Squeegie figures out and explains to Ornio that they are stuck in the black void of a computer monitor when it's turned off. A computer virus informs the brothers that King Pooper (Buck Adams) has kidnapped Princess Perlina (Chelsea Lynx). King Pooper intends on forcefully having Perlina help him travel to Earth with a tub full of semen energized by a special generator.

Squeegie and Ornio travel through the computer world, encountering other villains who attempt to delay them and hamper their efforts. Squeegie is temporarily separated from his brother in the process. Finding King Pooper's lair first, Squeegie attempts to free Princess Perlina, only to be found by King Pooper. Attempting to fight King Pooper alone, Squeegie is about to lose when Ornio reappears and shoves King Pooper into the tub, where he melts and dies. The brothers ask Princess Perlina to teleport them back to Earth, but Perlina only transports herself and Ornio back, leaving Squeegie behind in the cyberworld. Attempting to manipulate the generator to get back to the real world, Squeegie is confronted and appears to be captured by a revived King Pooper.

Super Hornio Brothers II[edit]

After a lengthy recap of the first installment, Princess Perlina and Ornio teleport back to Squeegie's office. Wondering where Squeegie is, Ornio is distracted by Princess Perlina offering sex as a reward for saving her from King Pooper. After sexual intercourse, Ornio asks Perlina to bring Squeegie back to the real world. The teleportation goes horribly wrong; Perlina teleports both Squeegie and King Pooper just as King Pooper confronts Squeegie at the generator seen at the end of Super Hornio Brothers. King Pooper escapes, and he begins to enact his ultimate goal, bluntly explained by Perlina to the Hornio Brothers as to "procreate and create more King Pooper offspring." While King Pooper hires a prostitute to start his plan, Squeegie theorizes that the generator is the key to King Pooper's scheme and draws up plans to destroy it.

Mimicking what they did the first time around, Squeegie and Ornio teleport back into the computer. Guided by the computer virus, Ornio distracts a villainess, which allows Squeegie and the computer virus to go back to King Pooper's lair. Squeegie comes up with a plan to thwart King Pooper by having the computer virus "overload" the generator and knock it out. The computer virus rubs his body against the machine, causing it to overload. Squeegie explains to Ornio and Princess Perlina back in the real world that by overloading the generator, King Pooper is now in "a state of limbo" and won't cause any more trouble. Ecstatic, Princess Perlina embraces and hugs Ornio while ignoring Squeegie. A spurned Squeegie turns to the camera and says that he expected the film to end this way.

Cast[edit]

Super Hornio Brothers[edit]

  • Buck Adams – King Pooper
  • T. T. Boy – Ornio Hornio
  • Courtney – Bon Dori, Queen of Bondage
  • Don Fernando - Bob
  • Ron Jeremy – Squeegie Hornio
  • Krysti Lynn– Spider Woman
  • Chelsea Lynx – Princes Perlina
  • Kitty Yung – Ileeza, Mistress of Evil

Super Hornio Brothers II[edit]

  • Buck Adams – King Pooper
  • T.T. Boy – Ornio Hornio
  • Don Fernando - Bob
  • Ron Jeremy – Squeegie Hornio
  • Krysti Lynn – Spider Woman
  • Chelsea Lynx – Princes Perlina

Production[edit]

Initially, porn studio Sin City Entertainment funded the project, but they dropped out, leaving Buck Adams to seek the help of Midnight Video to finish the film. In return for funding, Adams was asked by Midnight Video to trim the 37-page script, split the film into two and cut the filming schedule from three days to two.[3][4] Jeremy notes that the total production cost reportedly around $20,000, and that Buck Adams "....tried very hard to simulate the basic show. Buck knew Mario Brothers inside and out."[2]

Initially thought of as a rumor,[5][6] Ron Jeremy's official site notes that while they would love to make both films available alongside the massive library they have, Nintendo bought up the rights to both films to halt distribution indefinitely.[1][2] Jeremy notes in an interview that such buying of porn parodies to halt distribution are "unheard of" in the porn industry and that he only found out about it when a company called Hot Movies tried to buy his back catalog for distribution and found out about the purchase.[2]

Something Awful[edit]

In July, 2008, Zack Parsons of Something Awful was tipped off by a forum post claiming that there was a pornographic parody of Super Mario Bros. Initially dismissed as fake, upon being confirmed as real, the site attempted to buy the film through retailers with no luck. The next month, Parsons issued a challenge for the site's "Horrors of Pornography" section to obtain a copy.[5] After numerous false leads, ranging from SA users giving a sex only CD-ROM with none of the dialogue scenes to people remembering they once had it but ultimately having an other porno they mistook, an anonymous benefactor gave Awful a DVD-rip of II in June, 2009. The sequel contained a recap of I, which was sufficient enough for the site's reviewer of it to play catch-up.[4]

The Something Awful article is often the basis of other sites "finding out" about and making articles about the porn parody.[6][7][8][9] In addition, the films are claimed to have both existed and not existed by many people.[3][4][5]

In 2014, a Something Awful forum user claimed to have purchased a copy of Super Hornio Brothers. However, this was Super Hornio Brothers II.[10]

Reception[edit]

In the "Horrors of Pornography" column, Something Awful's Zack Parsons, reviewing Super Hornio Brothers II, gave it a −33 rating, and he noted that Buck Adams did a much better adaptation of the Super Mario franchise than the Super Mario Bros. live-action film.[4] Initially, Parsons wondered how such a film escaped the attention of the Internet for so long.[5] The Cinema Snob reviewed both Super Hornio Brothers and Super Hornio Brothers II. While noting that the films are considered to be the "holy grail" of pornographic parodies, he ripped into both of them, noting the inconsistencies of the pornographic parodies, ranging from how characters were named and cast, ways that the films could better themselves using various Super Mario video game sound effects, to overt references to 1990s Los Angeles such as the 1992 Los Angeles riots.[3][11]

References[edit]

  1. ^ a b "Kotaku reports on Super Hornio Brothers". Ron Jeremy's official website. December 29, 2011. Retrieved February 23, 2012. 
  2. ^ a b c d "Ron Jeremy Says Video Games Are Rotting Kids' Brains". VICE News. Sep 18 2015. Retrieved May 15, 2017.  Check date values in: |date= (help)
  3. ^ a b c "Super Hornio Brothers". The Cinema Snob. August 5, 2010. Retrieved February 17, 2012. 
  4. ^ a b c d "The Super Hornio Brothers Saga". Something Awful. June 25, 2009. Retrieved February 17, 2012. 
  5. ^ a b c d "A Horrors of Porn Call to Action". Something Awful. August 7, 2008. Retrieved February 17, 2012. 
  6. ^ a b "The Long, Hard Search for the Infamous Mario Porno". Kotaku. December 26, 2011. Retrieved February 23, 2012. 
  7. ^ "The ‘Super Hornio Brothers’ Mystery Gets a Christmas Revival". AVN. December 27, 2011. Retrieved February 17, 2012. 
  8. ^ "Vintage Porn Parodies: "Super Hornio Brothers"". Fleshbot. June 25, 2009. Retrieved February 17, 2012. 
  9. ^ "A Tale Of Miracles: The Internet's Search For A Mario Porno". Gameranx. December 26, 2011. Retrieved February 17, 2012. 
  10. ^ "(NSFW) Super Hornio Bros VHS still-in-box!". October 29, 2014. 
  11. ^ "Super Hornio Brothers II". The Cinema Snob. October 10, 2010. Retrieved February 17, 2012. 

External links[edit]