Talk:1948 Bermuda–Newfoundland hurricane/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Yellow Evan (talk · contribs) 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)

  • " The storm was the eighth named storm and third hurricane of the annual hurricane season, the cyclone originated off the coast of Africa from a tropical wave on September 4, and tracked a general westward path for much of its initial stages as it gradually intensified, reaching tropical storm intensity shortly after development and then hurricane intensity a day later." this sentence just does not seem right. I call for it to be divided into two separate sentences. YE Pacific Hurricane 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
 Done – I feel like this wasn't intentional; nonetheless I divided the specified passage and changed the wording such that the flow would be better. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
  • "a parabolic track," I'd link that. The average American doesn't feel like remembering Algebra 1 :P YE Pacific Hurricane
 Done – 'parabolic track' was linked to parabola. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
  • "the resulting remnants persisted for an additional day." no need for resulting. YE Pacific Hurricane 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
 Done – 'Resulting' was deleted and 'the' was replaced with 'these'. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
 Done – Power lines was delinked. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
  • "Beginning on September 15, the hurricane tracked east of Newfoundland, bringing with it heavy rain." try to re-write the last part of the sentence. It does not really imply that rain fell over Newfoundland, it hints that it fell east of Newfoundland. YE Pacific Hurricane 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
 Done – Replaced with 'producing heavy rainfall across the Canadian province'. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
  • "Overall, the tropical cyclone caused eight fatalities." say "the hurricane" here, you used "the tropical cyclone" a bit earlier. YE Pacific Hurricane 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
 Done – Reworded and replaced with suggested wording. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
  • "a modern-day Category 2 hurricane at 0600 UTC on September 8.[3]" on what scale? BOM? SSHWS? YE Pacific Hurricane 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
 Done – Specified SSHWS.
  • "no fatalities were reported." try to not to mention stuff like this. We might as well add in the TAM did not turn into a monkey as a result of this hurricane :P YE Pacific Hurricane 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
 Done – Removed information.
  • "With winds equivalent to that of a Category 1 hurricane, the cyclone brushed east of the island, bringing strong winds and extensive flooding." you mention it brought winds twice in the same sentence, I proposal that you eliminate one of the two instances. YE Pacific Hurricane 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
 Done'You proposal' is grammatically incorrect. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
  • Add a note on how all damage totals are of 1948. YE Pacific Hurricane 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)
 Done – Such a note was added. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)

Otherwise, life is good. Not too much bloat here TAM. YE Pacific Hurricane 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)