Talk:1963 San Diego Chargers season

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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This review is transcluded from Talk:1963 San Diego Chargers season/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 04:31, 31 July 2022 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

It's been five months, so your fresh eyes may find other things, too; it's happened to me on languishing GAs. There are mostly minor copy changes and a couple of accessibility items and reference scripts. (If my own experience is any indication, often these are things you've improved in later projects.) I also suggest using {{sfn}} for the books that get cited multiple times. Should be easy enough to do in a 7-day hold. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 05:31, 31 July 2022 (UTC)

@Sammi Brie: Thanks, I've gone through these changes now. The only one I wasn't sure of was the date formats in the references, as they seem to be in mdy format already? Harper J. Cole (talk) 23:52, 31 July 2022 (UTC)

@Harper J. Cole: That's because I ran a date script for them (easier to do that than have you change them all manually). I see all the changes I've needed are made. Hopefully some of my suggestions assist you with future Chargers season pages. Passing. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 00:33, 1 August 2022 (UTC)

Copy changes

Many comma removals are because the two halves are not each independent sentences. For instance:

After five weeks of the compulsory program, tight end Dave Kocourek began to feel ill, and went to his personal physician.

If you remove the ", and", this splits into "After five weeks of the compulsory program, tight end Dave Kocourek began to feel ill" (a complete sentence) and "Went to his personal physician". You should use ", and" only when there is a subject and verb on both halves of the conjunction.

Lead

• Remove comma after "in 1962"
• Comma before "respectively"
• Last paragraph: remove comma after "during training camp"

Offseason

• Remove comma before "and signed"
• Remove comma after "1–13"
• Don't capitalize "NFL Champion" in running text
• Change '57 to 1957
• Remove comma after Rote
• Remove comma after "San Diego won"
• remove comma before "While starting in half of them"

Training camp

• Add unit conversions for the miles and °F
• Remove comma after "basic amenities"
• Remove comma after "from their practice"
• Change in spite of, and not because of the to in spite of, not because of, the
• Remove comma after "took the pills"
• Remove comma after "to feel ill"

Preseason

• Remove comma after "their first match"
• Replace the short hyphen with a semicolon. Earlier, Paul Lowe had scored the Chargers' first two touchdowns with runs of 3 and 65 yards; the running back was playing for the first time since the broken arm he had sustained during the 1962 preseason. Consult MOS:DASH for more on how to use dashes properly. Where called for, you can use a space and endash ( – ) or just an emdash (—). A script can also aid in repairing dashes: User:Ohconfucius/dashes.
• Remove comma after "in the 3rd quarter"
• Same after "to Kocourek" next paragraph.
• Remove comma after "for the finale"

Regular season

• Break the sentence "Of the other receivers" at the first semicolon. There are too many semicolons; this is a run-on.
• Add a comma after 2nd in the league
• Replace the hyphen after "balanced unit" with a colon (not a semicolon here) and the two commas in the remainder of the sentence
• Change "didn't" to "did not"

Week 1

• Hyphenate "two point" (check for this elsewhere, I see it in Week 15 too)

Week 4

• Use "capitalized" instead of "capitalised" (I smell a Brit writing; might want User:Ohconfucius/EngvarB script)

Week 6

• Jet's → Jets'
• Remove comma after "Charger 18" and "80-yard touchdown drive"
• Defense with an S

Week 7

• Hyphenate "first ever"
• "at tackler" → "a tackler"
• Dash fix

Week 8

• Remove comma before "and quickly went wrong"
• change the last sentence to Rote threw incomplete before being sacked for an 18-yard loss; he then threw his fourth interception of the game, and Oakland ran out the clock. Note the comma because of the separate sentence pieces.

Week 9

• Add a comma after "short runs up the middle".

Week 10

• Remove comma after "18 pass receptions", "yards on offense", and and "new club record".

Week 11

• "Penalised" ENGVAR

Week 12

• Remove comma after "bridged the 3rd and 4th quarters"
• "Defenced" ENGVAR

Week 13

• A 4th quarter collapse cost San Diego the chance to clinch their division. Up by two games over the Raiders with only three to play, the Chargers would end the AFL West race with a win, and began the game with a successful opening drive. Consider reordering this area, maybe... A 4th quarter collapse cost San Diego the chance to clinch their division. Up by two games over the Raiders with only three to play, the Chargers could end the AFL West race with a win, but a collapse in the 4th quarter cost San Diego the chance to clinch their division. They began the game with a successful opening drive...
• a team were outscored — another ENGVAR issue
• "three season earlier" fix typo

Week 14

• Houston then drive — tense, should be "drove"
• Firstly, Karas intercepted a Jacky Lee pass, Lowe immediately broke off a 59-yard run, and Rote sneaked into the end zone two plays later. tweak to Firstly, Karas intercepted a Jacky Lee pass; Lowe immediately broke off a 59-yard run, and Rote sneaked into the end zone two plays later.
• Remove comma after "one game back"

Week 15

• Remove comma after "270 rushing yards"

Playoffs

• Change comma after "Boston 4" to semicolon and remove the one after "himself" later in that sentence.
• More collective noun fixes needed ("Boston were...")
• Write out "50+" as "50-plus"
• Remove apostrophe in "Patriots' punt"
• Remove comma between "Rote, before"
• Remove comma after "later in the game"

Potential match

• Italicize Sports Illustrated and the Los Angeles Times
• Remove apostrophe in "Bears'"

Source spot checks

I selected ten citations for random verification checks:

24 Y — to newspaper 41 AGF (Steidel) 56 Y — to newspaper 61 Y — to Stathead query 99 AGF (Steidel) 113 Y — to Stathead query 114 Y — to newspaper 118 AGF (subscription gamebook) 124 Y — to newspaper (second page, Gillman's statement on balance) 130 Y — to newspaper

References

To cite Steidel, given the number of citations, consider using short footnotes. You would insert a full citation in a Bibliography section beneath the References with the code below:

Steidel, Dave (2015). The Uncrowned Champs: How the 1963 San Diego Chargers Would Have Won the Super Bowl. Carrel. ISBN 9781631440465.

and then you could type, for each citation to Steidel, {{sfn|Steidel|2015|p=28}}

You should also add a citation for Tobias 2004 here (you'd add another cite book line and use a similar sfn). I see it six times.

Also:

• Run a date script to convert references to mdy dates.
• Archive references.

Other

• Earwig catches a Lance Alworth quote and some organization names; nothing to write home about.
• Images are freely licensed.
• Add a caption, even an sr-only one, for the Team awards table. The various schedule tables also will need this.
• Add alt text to the three images. The portraits probably will suffice with Refer to caption and something like A postcard image of San Diego in the late 1960s or early 1970s for the postcard.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.