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I've focused the text back onto the subject of the article, Affeton Castle, rather than the general history of the Stucleys, or the family's other houses etc. This also removes a lot of the repetition.
I've returned the citations to the original style, as per [[[WP:MOS]].
I'm not sure whether the Stucley "brief note" is a reliable source or not; without a date, or publisher, or location etc. it is hard to tell if this is actually a published source, or how reliable it is; I've flagged it up accordingly in the distro.
Vivian is lacking any bibliographical details; I've tagged this in the biblio. Hchc2009 (talk) 03:40, 24 August 2014 (UTC)
I think your "condensation" is somewhat overdone. I'm tempted to revert, but if you want to leave this as an article on the building itself, I'll move my labours to a new article Manor of Affeton to which I'll ref this one - and several others not concerned with the building but the manor.(Lobsterthermidor (talk) 13:36, 24 August 2014 (UTC))
The article as it stands is all about the listed building, rather than the wider manor / estate or the Stucley family, so I'd agree, it would make sense to discuss the manor or family line in a separate article. Hchc2009 (talk) 13:42, 24 August 2014 (UTC)